How to Help Her Get over Her fear...poop Issue

This is such a difficult issue after fear of pain has set in. My grandson, now 5, still occasionally has problems, but he's old enough now to deal with it better.

A few suggestions:

I'd have a talk with her and assure her you understand her fear, and that lots of little kids have this problem, so she's not alone. It simply never works to tell a child (or an adult) that they shouldn't be afraid; that simply invalidates their feelings and can leave them feeling even more alone with their problem.

Read "It Hurts When I Poop." This book has helped many, many children deal with painful pooping. Another amusing and educational book that may help in tandem is "Everybody Poops." Amusing distraction can be helpful.

If she'll sneak off to go in her pants, she'll probably go in a diaper. tell her it's okay to use a diaper for pooping until things get easier. I've known many, many parents who offer diapers for a range of potty issues, and they don't appear to confuse the child or cause backsliding. Be clear that the diaper is only for help with the pooping. Easier on her, less cleanup for you.

For very occasional use, a children's liquid suppository can make it virtually impossible to withhold the poop, and add some lubrication. Kids do not like this solution and will probably fight it, but my grandson was always relieved and grateful when the ordeal was over. Emergency only – this can be habit forming.

Teach breathing (like for childbirth) when your daughter is having a hard time eliminating. My gs really takes to this. Inhale through nose, blow out slowly through mouth. Sometimes just having a tool that they believe will help can make a much easier experience.

Plenty of water throughout the day. This in addition to plenty of fiber-rich foods and are the most reliable solution for my grandboy. Fiber alone can actually make constipation worse, poops bigger.

Good luck. Your sweetie sure does have my sympathy.

After months of a very high fiber diet, we went to a specialist over this same issue. He checked to make sure everything was OK physically and then recommended Metamucil Clear and Natural (can be given along with the Miralax.) it seems very natural and she can be on it as long as necessary

We went through this with our older daughter. It was so heartbreaking! She would cry and cry, and she felt lousy because she needed to poop but she was just obnoxious about holding it in. Finally I decided enough was enough. She was on Miralax all the time, so I know it didn't hurt her to go. When I knew she had to go (right after she ate), I would take her in to the potty and just hold her there. When a kid is sitting down and leaning forward, they can't hold it in. It may sound mean, but she went, and she was FINE, of course. I had to do this a few times but she finally realized she felt so much better when she didn't hold it in, that she stopped trying to do it.

I don't know if this would work but I would:
1) give her more rich fiber foods and water
2) put a oitment in her butt like aquapor to avoid rashes and contact with the poop

3) Hug her when she goes, keep telling her : "I know sweety, I am here and I understand, it will get better".
4) I would buy her a book like "everybody poops" I think that is the title but not sure.

5)I would let her diaper/undies free if possible for a couple days until she gets better.

I hope she start to feel better and the poop issues past fast.

I have a 9 year old daughter that still to this day sometimes struggles with this issue. Do not make a big issue of it. We saw a pediatric GI dr and he suggested to continue the Miralax and when you start to notice that she is getting impacted (stopped up from holding it) you should give her a glycerin suppository. This will make her go....but it may take a few times of giving it to her. Follow the directions on the package as far as how often to give it. They do make a childrens suppository that you can pick up at Walgreens. Once she is going with ease (and lots of praises, of course!) you will be headed in the right direction! Good luck!

My daughter had that.
We had to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist.
He said EVERY day, he sees Toddlers like this.
They withhold it, on purpose. It causes pain and medical problems.
So then, it is then, a 2 fold issue: emotion based AND a medical problem.
And it can take a LONG time, to get over.

He said, just let the child poop, even if in a diaper for now. It won't be forever.
For some kids, it is just stress an anxiety about it.
For others, it is because the child is punished and reprimanded for toileting and forced.
We did not force our daughter. It was just anxiety about it all.
It took MONTHS of Doctor prescribed things, for her to get over it.
He never said to use Miralax.

Constipation, can cause bulging bowels, Encopresis and blocked intestines etc. Encropresis, if it progresses to that, is an involuntary 'leaking' of poop, with the child cannot control. Cause by Constipation.

Perhaps, you should see a Specialist.

My son, well he actually feared, going poop in a potty. He thought it was him, that was going away.
He knows now. He is older. He understands. His emotions had to mature.

MANY kids, do not master pooping, right away. It takes time.

all the best,
Susan

I have to give my son mineral oil every other day for the same reason. Additionally, we have done an occassional aquaphor on his bottom to help it slide out.
Totally feel your pain about the hold and a little, then a little more a few hours later - ARGH! I feel like I am doing all the work of cloth diapers and I am up to my ears in BM'd pants! :(
That said, just keep her on her regimine because those changes really impact their little bodies.
Good luck to you and your little G..

Oh honey, do I feel your pain!! My son went thru this! He wasn't potty trained and still isn't which I feel this played a big role in him hating the potty. Everytime he felt the urge to go he would scream (no matter where we were) "Oh no, poop, poop" and start crying. We had to make him sit on the potty so that his body would start pushing for him and eventually he would go. I tried the miralax with him and it didn't seem to work for him. I had no help from his dr bc she preferred to use natural items like prunes and prune juice. We had tried to go about it naturally and nothing was helping and couldn't handle seeing him in pain. We purchased pedia lax chewable pills and told him they were candy. When he was having a rough day I would give him one and they seemed to work. Honestly what helped him was he recently had a stomach bug which caused loose bowels and ever since he has been back on track. Hopefully you will find something that works for your little one soon! I know how difficult this can be but you are def not alone! Good luck!
Oh by the way after his BM's stopped hurting him so much he completely forgot about being afraid of pooping

I am running to the other end of the spectrum on this one. Not because I am an expert or even experienced in any way (other than I was one of those who held it in)

The bathroom is a boring place - 4 walls, a tub, a sink, and a cold piece of porcelain to perch on.
In addition to the Miralax or coffee <---(kidding)
What if the bathroom was made in to a "fun zone" a place she would want to go? Make it kid friendly, ditch the seashells on the back of the toilet and put in some games, books, etc... that stay IN THE BATHROOM.
Maybe some hand held interactive toys to take her mind off where she is? Remember, bathroom only, these toys are for the potty only. Go to Target or Toys R Us and let her pick out something, maybe a new doll that has HER own potty too? Maybe You could have your own chair in there and read to her.
Maybe if she has the distraction and relaxtion' she will allow nature to take its course.......
I wish you well,
~A.