My daughter is very intelligent infact she ecells in pre k more than most of the kiddos in her class. She is very smart but doesn’t have the patient at times to sit still and focus =)
She is very engrossed with “ NICK JR “ “ Disney movies “ and would rather do that then play with the really cool toys she has. Over Christmas she got tons and tons of really fun toys and yet she doesn’t play with them.She begged me for this lovely fisher price doll house and wrote a letter to santa. We bought it and with in a week she tells me its boring.
Whens he wakes up in the morning especially on the weekends she comes to my side of the bed and says “ MOM CAN I WATCH TV “ it drives me bananas . She used to have a TV in her room but now its not an option. We took the TV out and put it in the playroom but instead of the toys she wants TV.
When I tell her to go to her room and play with toys she does so without asking and we don’t really have any problems with it. But she does pout and act like there is nothing to do.
I KNOW I am to blame for some of this because I was a single mom and school full time and 2 jobs so I had to study and so for me to be able to study I would let her watch TV when she was Under 3 years old.
So now I want to take charge before its too late and get her engrossed in other things. She does love art and she loves to paint and color and we have those items but I want to do more with her.
Any advice? Maybe ways for her to earn TV time ?
Thanks
I should meantion that I do play with my child regularly and involved with her. Maybe not full blown all the time but I do love my child and do play with my child. I DON'T neglect her and sit her infront of the TV for hours.
Yes I try to get her to be goofy and silly and play dolls with me but she isn't showing interest lately. Sorry if my post was taken the wrong way.
I wouldn't have posted if I had it figured out or wanted a little more advice as in how to help her. Ive received a few ugly emails about my lack of parenting and thats simply uncalled for. Please be kind and please share advice please don't attack people when we ask questions =)
Blessings
It sounds like she doesn't know how to entertain herself. Maybe she finds it boring to play by herself, or her immagination isn't active enough to carry on a conversation/story with her dolls. You tell her to go play with the toys in her room, but does she go alone or with you?
My 4y gets frustrated with me because I can't play dolls, my immagination isn't active enough to give the responses she is waiting for.
M.
I think some tv time every day is ok. I would buy some age appropriate activity books and give her so many pages each day to do. I would go in her room with her and maybe play dolls/tea party for 20 minutes to get her started then tell her you have work to do and hopefully she will continue on with her playing. My son has never really been into 'playing' either but he is my only child living here so he gets bored really easy playing by himself. Can you take some of her toys to a second hand resell shop and maybe let her pick out some new ones? Also, you could take her to the library and let her pick out a bunch of books to look at. Good Luck!!
I guess my advice is have a set amt of time for TV each day and to not stray from that. Set up a playdate for her once or twice a week. Plan going to the park with her and meeting one of her friends there. Plan going out to fly a kite. Plan on meeting one of her friends for a bike ride or scooter ride. Plan a specific art project. Take her to the library once a week and have her pick out books on cool crafts or art projects that are age appropriate. Help her to make a fort in the livingroom and get it set up inside with blanket and pillows and stuffed animals and a tea set. Sit outside with her while she plays on her bike or in a sandbox or with a water table. Bring out her kitchen/cooking toys (or real ones from your kitchen) and ask her to make you mud pies and pretend to serve you like you are in a restaurant (you can sit and read a book). Invite over neighborhood kids. Cook with her...help her to measure out ingredients and pour and stir. Help her to set up a lemonade stand and sit with her while she sells cups of lemonade (My son LOVES doing this!). Take her to a local museum. Take her to the pool. Put on music and have a dance party in the livingroom. Encourage her to put on a play or puppet show for you. Encourage her to write her own book (just pictures if she is not writing much yet). Show her how the first time! Start a home journal. Start a collection with her. Go for a nature walk and have her do a "scavenger hunt" where she finds certain things. Set up a scavenger hunt in your back yard! Make a bug home for her and help her to catch a bug and watch it crawl around. Have her lose TV time for bad behavior and earn it back for good behavior..but definitely limit TV time. We purposely don't have a TV but our son loves video games on the computer. I have a 20 m a day limit. On the weekend he can earn up to 45 minutes if he is good. If I did not he would play for hours!!! PS - I noticed that once our son started Kindergarten and especially in 1st grade this year he suddenly became WAY more independent as far as playing by himself goes. He also now will go out and play with neighborhood kids and he only rarely asks me to play with him now. He used to always want me to play with or entertain him or help with whatever he was doing. So, part of this with your daughter is probably her age.
We limit our boys (4 1/2 and 20 months) TV time to 1 hour or less on Saturday and Sunday and not during the week at all. Just dont let it be an option and she will learn to play with her toys, also outside play is very important and with the weather warming up there isnt a better time. I know you said you need to study but TV can't be a babysitter, can you study after your daughter goes to bed? She needs your attention also.
There is a device that you can purchase from ADD wearhouse called the time machine. It hooks up to electronic devices and you have to put a tolken in to get 30 minutes of time. You could make her earn her TV and limit her time. This takes the option off the table if she does not have any coins to put into the device, it just won't turn on.
M.
I'm sorry about the emails. People are just very judgmental sometimes especially when they don't have to look us in the face. I am sure you are a wonderful mother and you have got to remember that we all have troubling times in our lives and it takes a strong person to ask for help. Get her interested in other activities. My son will ride his bike for hours. Tell he that the TV is off limits. TV actually does cause a lack of focus. Let her play with the toys she has. I got my daughter an art easel and she loved it.
For us tv is allowed for our three year old when baby sister is napping (so I can get things done) and after dinner. I find that if she asks for it any other time, I just remind her the times she is allowed to watch. That way I'm not always saying no, I'm just saying not yet. So if you have time slots she is allowed to watch and time's she is not it can cut down on t.v. time. I also schedule a few activities during the week (group play dates) so she doesn't get it every morning and a few activities in the evening (jacuzzi time, or go to yogurt) so she does't get it every evening. I have friends who told their three boys the T.V was broken due to too many requests for T.V. . They just got sick of it. I admire their decision. I grew up with one hour/day tv limmit, and weekend movies or evening specials were given at my parents discretion. I think that worked well too.
TV out of the play room all other Tvs unplug them during the times you don't want her to watch them,she will get back into to play mode & pretend play encourage arts & crafts.Does she have to much in her room maybe she is over stimulated with a room full of toys take soem out clear out her room make an art desk for her do it up with paper markers colored pencils etc that is in her reach.
I tell my kids that TV is a privelage & not a right to watch it I have to shut it off everday when I fell it is to much time, they do rather play outside & most days it is outside but like today it is cold & rainy all day but the TV is on while I do a few things now it is time to leave soon when we return it is do more house work but no TV my 4 yr old is going to help put things away & learn to write her name.ON typical days we are busy TV is our down time for noise,laying around if we aren't feeling well,carching up on the news,& just because there isn't anything else to do.
Unplug it, tell her it's broken, she may cry at first but she'll find other things to do :)
My stepdaughter watched TV constantly before we met, but it's not good for her. We have the rule no TV until your homeschool is done, and then she can watch one hour only. We both had to reiterate the rule in the beginning and she didn't like it but we stuck with it. It's good being able to tell her WHEN she can watch TV so we're not flat-out saying "no."
Sure your daughter's going to fuss at first. But keep it up and keep encouraging and it will go away.
My SD will pout sometimes after her hour is up and act like there's nothing to do. I usually get her started on a fun project. If she pouts too much then I tell her to find something or I can find some work for her to do. The funny thing is sometimes she will choose the work! She's a cute girl and always wants to help. She often doesn't mind helping with dinner or the cleaning.
You're not a bad mom so don't listen to the other moms who act like you're horrible. You asked for advice and you're making a change. None of us are perfect! Good luck.
Why don't you do the fun things with her? Play with her, don't just tell her "go play". It really is your attentive, interested, interesting presence that can turn a boring toy into a fun experience. I can't quite tell from your note, but it sounds like maybe you expect her to do all these things by herself. Can you play with her more, or invite another kid over more? Or get out more? If tv is the most interesting thing in her life, then that's what she should do. But you could make her life more interesting, and then I bet she wouldn't want so much tv.
Oops! TV just broke! What a shame! Sorry!
As other people have already commented, it's actually possible to forget how to play when the TV is available and on. But we all know this! How many of us grownups forget that there's anything but TV to do in the evening when we're tired?
So you may need to have more mama-and-daughter time for a while. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Tea parties with her dolls and animals. Reading together. Drawing silly pictures together. A walk around the neighborhood, a trip to the library, an art museum if there's one in your town (just go for a half hour). With you, she'll discover the whole world outside the tube. Then she may have her own ideas.
Don't get thrown by the pouting business. That's merely a way of pressuring you to let her have her own way. I wouldn't go in the direction of her earning TV time because you want to make television less important, not more important (something you earn is MORE important).
See if she can be TV-free for two weeks. Then let her choose just one show to watch, turn on the machine, watch the show with her, and turn the set off. Maybe one show a couple of times a week would work; if she gets hooked again, then the machine has to be out of sight again.
Now that I write about it, your child's addiction to television sounds a lot like my addition to salty snacks, and I think I ought to get THEM out of my house....
It's time to get her into a dance or gymnastics or taekwondo class.
Something physical that gets her moving and out of the house.
Turn off the tv/computer. Use plug locks if you have to.
Limit her use to a few hours per week.
She'll go into withdrawal at first but she'll get over it.
If you want her to read, and enjoy it, you are going to have to read to her (and enjoy it) a lot. Show her it's something you value. Snuggle and have fun with it. Read her a large variety of interests till you find what she wants to know more about.
There are also lots of things to do outside Bikes, play grounds, parks, museums, jump rope, hop scotch, chalk sidewalk drawing, sand box, swing set, running through sprinklers (once it's warm enough), etc.
On a rainy day, get in raincoats and boots and jump in puddles if there's no thunder/lightning. Or you can make a cardboard box fort in the living room and have a picnic in it. Take pictures.
There are LOTS of things to do besides watching tv/video games.
Hello,
Our daughter is like yours: she'd watch TV all day long if we let her. I've read that it takes two weeks to establish a habit. You might try going cold turkey w/out the TV for two weeks. I'm betting the instances of her asking for it would go down dramatically. Be ready to provide some fun ideas in its place, though. This is a great book:
Unplugged Play: No Batteries, No Plugs, Pure Fun
We recently instituted a no tv policy during the school week for our kindergartner. However, now she wants to watch TV all weekend long -- even though she has great, interactive and fun toys just like your daughter. And just like your daughter, she asks for it as soon as she wakes up. It's a struggle to keep her from becoming a couch potato!
I would say that the easiest thing to do would to put the TV in the closet for the summer. If you want to watch a movie or something haul it out, but make it a real effort to turn on. She's in a habit and they are hard to break, but summer is the perfect time. Start a new routine; park in the AM; baking at lunch time; library in the afternoon etc. And also, no cable--it's expensive both in the cost to have it delivered to your house and in the ways it inadvertently sucks time from your family.
MY kids get the opportunity to watch tv twice a day. Once right after lunch and once in the evening from 730 to 8. But you are right... they have to EARN Tv time. If their behaviour was not great in the a.m. hours then they do not get their after lunch tv time. And same goes for the evening. There are many days that there is no TV on in the house.
I would continue working on earning tv time and set a time to watch it. Like everyday at 730 to 8 you may watch tv. If maybe you set a scheduled time she may know that she is earning a concrete thing. Vs.. "oh you were goo so go ahead and watch some tv now" and then an hour later she is bugging you for it again. So, like I said maybe if it is a set up time and same time every day that might help her realize when she earns it and may help cut out in the nagging/bugging question all day.
Also, it is close to summer. I am sure soon enough she will be outside playing and hopefully forget about the tv.
Let her exchange her love for television for a love for documentaries that are geared for her age. www.cosmeo.com is 9.95 per month. It's owned and operated by Discovery channel. They have 30,000+ documentaries on every subject imaginable and starting at Kindergarten and going to Senior in highschool. They have homework help for math and it's more than worth it. You can search the site per key word or look up your states guidelines for K-3rd grade and trust me, the videos are good. My preschoolers watch them, even the 2 and 3 year olds. Many of the videos are only 10-15 minutes and sometimes you can watch 2-3 minute segmants. So it will take a little time for you to learn your way around the site. You need to use it with firefox browser and will have to update your shockwave and other plugins. There's a help feature on their site that will check what you need to run the program.
your having her watch tv when she was under 3 has no bearing on her watching tv now. my kids watched tv when they were little and it's on all the time now, and they hardly watch it. i agree with the post that she doesn't know how to entertain herself. my daughter is 6 and the same way. neither one of my kids play with very many toys. they do play on the computer and some video games, but that's here and there also. mine love crafts. i make bracelets with them and necklaces, and will do craft things also. my husband willl get down and play with the star wars toys or mario toys with them. that's not my cup of tea, so i do the crafts and also board games. if she asks to watch tv i would ask her if she wanted to play a board game. they have some fun ones for little kids that you might like to play. sorry couldn't help with earning tv time. i'm not one of the moms who think that tv is evil. :)
You have to turn it off or get rid of it. It's really about your own discipline of yourself -and BELIEVE me I know how hard it is-my husband is always gone and my 3 watch too much TV while I do bills and handle things that need total concentration. But I do make sure to turn it off and only put it on at certain times, not on demand. I have improved a lot since having this same problem up until about 6 months ago. I even shut off our satellite service.
Schedule your day, make a chart with activities and times for her chores, her play breaks, etc and make a TV time.
My daughter is 5, she gets up, tidies up (me with her), brushes teeth gets dressed (me reminding her to "keep getting ready" while I make breakfast), practices piano (me with her), then off to school. She gets home from school, snack, and we all go do something together, and then while I make dinner, they get to watch TV (we only have Netfilx Roku, not channels). After dinner, the TV goes of, or I watch a show they don't like, and it's fee play time for them in the play room-where there is no TV-until bed.
While she's at school, I don't let the other two watch TV unless I have a super important task I need to do-tax prep, bills whatever, and then I put them in front of it while they eat lunch so I can have a few minutes uninterrupted. If I'm just cleaning and stuff, the TV is off, the music is on, and we're interacting while I work. This leads to some really great games and times, and they really didn't notice the reduction in TV at all. Sometimes I miss my Oprah break, but it really feels amazing to sit and do a real game with them for an hour instead. It's natural for her to pick the TV over "doing stuff" if she can. Isn't that what we all do? Relax and watch TV when we should be "doing stuff?" She's not harmed by the earlier TV. It's not too late.
You just can't let her watch it so much. It's all up to you. Remove hers altogether, and just have her watch the family TV once a day.
My daughter is almost 6 y/o and LOVES Nick Jr, Disney movies, Disney Playhouse, PBS, etc... as well as the kid friendly websites from those shows online to play games.
I don't see it as a problem. If I tell her it's time to practice riding her bike, or to do her homework (she's in Kindergarten and doing very well), or go do something else, she usually goes ahead and does what I ask.
We have her in ballet once a week and over summer she'll be part of a gymnastic half day camp. I think giving her outside activities that are physical is a good thing. May be something you want to try.
Sounds like she needs a play date. If you can work while being at the Mc Donald's play land that is a good place to let her play with other kids if none are able to come over to your house. i notice lots of girls in my sons kindergarten class having play dates already.
