My 6 1/2 yr.old Doesn't Play with His Toys.

Put it this way your six years old and your mommoy does not want you to play computers, video games, or watch tv, yet she takes away your toys, Would'nt you be a little confused. At six years old I think they need more attention then at six months old. Have you tried playing with him one on one, with his toys you'll find that you cannot just send them away to play so you can talk on the phone. Since you like socialzing try doing it with your son or invite a friend over with a child too give him someone to play with not just something to play with. I know how it is i have two sons and when they get bored I just role up my sleeves get on the floor and play with them like I'm six years old. And limiting the electronics is a very good idea you want his imagination to grow and playing is how we do that. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi P.....honestly I would not worry. My 7 year old never played with any of his toys since he was an infant. I got to the point where I never bought him any toys because I knew he wouldn't play with them. He liked more challenging items such as his leapster or computer games. Anything musical is always a major hit with him. I have a very bright child and is ahead of himself in school which is also a challenge. Have you asked his pedi about possible ADD/ADHD or seizures? I have encountered many parents who never knew there were possible underlying issues going on with their children when they have otherwise been "normal". With this said I just found out my child was having absence seizures and was ADD. He has developed normally and has not had any other issues besides focusing on things that are "boring" to him. This is where the school issues have been happening. I am not saying your child has anything like mine but it's never hard to look into the health of your child and the background/health of your family to possibly figure out why something so normal as playing with toys can be a sign of something else. OH and the taking the toys away, I did that too and he could have cared less. He always found something more "interesting anyway" as he put it and he only missed his computer and games. If it's the computer he likes, let him have his time with the computer and maybe get him to focus on something else physical as a sport if he doesn't already participate in one. My main concern was not having my child become sedetary so it has been working out. I hope some of this helps and I wish you and your family the best. Your little boy will be just fine.

D.

HI P. C.
I really don't feel I can give you any insight on your concern regarding your son, but ONE.... as long as he is reading his age materials while playing that can only help build his reading ability.
But I am writing to comment on your info you included about yourself... that we both share in common... socializing! I love people!! :-)
Have a great day.
P. S. :-)

Take out the computer/television of his room. This will force him to occupy his time with other things. Mean mom? No. You are attempting to teach him there are other things to occupy his time. Is he athletic? Enroll him in karate or taewondoa or swimming. Anything to get him motivated and away from the "boxes". Get him his own library card and take him to the library to allow him to select his own books. After all if the electricity goes out, how will he utilize his time if all he's got to entertain himself is a computer/television.

I had a step son like that he was 5 1/2 and all he wanted to do was watch tv and play video games. Till I came alonge! I talked to his father about the situation and what I wanted to do and he said GOOD LUCK HE WILL NOT I TRIED! Since I took care of the majority of the time I had the upperhand so to say. First off I bagged ALL the toys he didnt touch which was all of them. When he came into his room and saw he was really didnt say much as long as the TV was there. Next step when I turned the TV on for him I put it on SLEEP mode to turn off in an hour and a half. I told him once the TV shut off come and tell me and we will go to the store. So when he came I took him to walmart and asked him what besides TV and video games does he like to do and of course he said computer. So we are walking in walmart and I pass him by the bikes. He of course got excited and I told him OH YOU LIKE TO RIDE BIKES. So I let him play with it for a while and I told him ok we had to go. All the way home he asked for the bike. So what I told him was that if he would read his books and play with the educational toys that daddy bought him more then he would watch tv them maybe he will get the bike. So for the next two days he watched his TV and played his games but I noticed that he did during the commercials he would pull out one or two toys and ask to play outside. So I would let him. On the 4th day I saw that he was getting his books. Oh Saturday morning he normally wakes me up with the loudness of his TV but not this time it was 7:30 and I had heard nothing so in a panic (he is like clock work) I woke up and went to his room. He was sitting on his bed reading or pretending to read a book. That day he got his bike and now when he wants something I make him earn it that way. Yes he still does watch TV and play computer or his video games but not as much. Even if it is something as small as a candy bar or going to chucky cheese he knows WITH ME he does have to earn it. He also knows that if he wants to go to McDonalds on Saturday he needs to show he is doing good in school. After school he will do what he wants but after dinner he will go without watching TV till 30 minutes before bedtime if he can do that he gets McDonalds. The trick is to occupy him with other things around the house like helping with dinner or teaching him something new like sweeping or helping load and unloading the dishwasher. I also let him pick out what he is goinging to wear the next day and that takes him a good 20 -30 minutes. There are so many things I do to trick him into not watching tv ect... I hope you find what works for you. Good luck
T.
did not proof read so sorry if there are mistakes

I'm in the same situation as you. When I was reading it because it seemed if I wrote it myself. My son just turned 5 and my daughter is 2 and both of them struggle to play with there toys. I've spent so much to buy new toys for Xmas and birthday but they still have no interest. I really would love to find out if you get any good ideas.

He would like his toys alot better if he had someone to play with. Do you ever play with him? Will he play with his toys if he had a friend over? My son also prefers the computer over toys probably because it doesn't require imagination to hit a few buttons. Playing with toys makes the children think,imagine, and create for themselves. Computer games require the children to sit and watch. Definately limit the computer time, but also show him how to play with his toys by playing with him...you'll see a huge difference.

K.

Hi P.,

My son, age 9, almost 10 has never been into playing with his toys. He likes the idea of having toys, but he has never been one to go play by himself in his room with them. He has a big box of action figures, a huge drawer full of cars, another drawer full of misc. toys and they mostly go untouched. I think he is a collector of things he finds interesting. When he has a friend over they drag the stuff out and play with it. That is the key for him. He will play with it if someone else is playing with him. When he doesn't have a friend over he likes to play games on the computer, watch t.v., play board games,ride his bike, play on the swings out back, plays with his sister or brother, sit and talk to me or he reads. I've come to the conclusion that he likes to be around people or he likes to be moving or doing something that interacts wth him. The toys alone, by himself do not provide the interaction he enjoys. It's just his personality. Hope that helps. :)

P.
I have a 4 year old that does the same thing so what we did is let him use the computer and video games all he wants under the condition that he play educational games. He actullay has learned a lot from the games and when we go to the park he's all over the play maybe toys are just not your sons idea of fun.

Emotions are our downfall as parents. Stick to your guns. If you give in now all you will teach him is that the longer he can hold out and disrespect you he will win. Too many toys make kids not value what they have. If he goes without a while, he will find new interest in things. My daughters favorite toys were rocks and sticks outside. Mud is always fun. A good ole blanket thrown over the backs of chairs to make a fort is fun too. Store bought fun is not the best. Try taking things away and encourage imagination, he will function better in school if he develops that skill anyway.
Hang in there and God Bless

You are absolutely doing the right thing. He does not need to be sitting playing on the computer or watching TV all day. He needs to use his mind and be creative and active. This is much better for his mind and health. Also, it shows he does not appreciate what his has been given if he does not care that it was taken away. Let him wine. Limit him even more when he wines and complains. Tell him you can certainly find a chore for him to do such as go clean out a flower bed which would not hurt him in the lest. Clean his own room help fold clothes, etc... If he is old enough to wine he is old enough to start learning responsibility.

Good Luck!

S. R.

P.,

Maybe he is bored because he isn't challenged! I don't blame him for not wanting to be in his room playing, he needs outdoors and fresh air. Let him find sticks to build forts, it is spring time now, let him have a little spot in the yard to have a garden of his own, one he must take care of, weeding, watering all of it. Sadly the computer and video games have taken away the imagination of our children. We as parents need to incorporate that back into our children's lives. Not that computer, TV, video is wrong, it is just all overused.

J.

A little about me:

I am a wife, mother, grandmother. I am 57 years old and rearing our now 13 year old grandson. My children are 37 and 35. I also have a granddaughter who is 10 and the child we are raising is our son's child. Our daughter has no children. My husband is a pastor and we both work as custodians in our local school system. My husband is the maintenance supervisor.

My son is the same! He will be 7 in a week. All he likes to do is watch TV, play the comp, and play his gameboy. I limit the video games (just because I can't stand them). And I try to get him to watch educational shows as much as possible.

I don't blame him. At six i couldnt imagine. Guess i was a tomboy. Outside all the time climbing running. t-ball practice and games all the time climbing trees. Does this kid have any friends to play with. I played with friends all the time. almost everyday. I grew up in small town would walk a coulple houses down to my best friend by night her mom would bring me back home.Dad was gone interacted with brothers and sisters a lot. I would love to have a dog to play with or so my little girl could play with. How long are you begging him to play by himself in his room? Even at 6 your mind is going and just as well as if you were 37 some kind of stimulation would be great not just plastic figures. Maybe if he dont know how to entertain himself you could go help give him ideas how to play with his toys. If you cant do that then maybe you can see his problem.

Sounds right! My 7 1/2 year old has been this way for a couple years now, but is getting better now that he is old enough to go outside and play with friends. See if you can suggest some games to your kids so that they are inspired to play together. My son will play "school" or "restaurant" with his 2 year old brother now and sometimes if I suggest an activity with their toys it helps them get started playing. If he is really whining about being bored and "nothing to do" then I tell him he needs to find something to do or I will give him something to do, such as chores. He didn't believe me until I had him sweep the back porch one day when he wouldn't quit whining! I play with my kids some too, but with 3 of them and the rest of the household to run, they have to learn to entertain themselves...you are not a mean mother, you are teaching life skill. We all have to learn to be self motivated or we wouldn't get anything done.

I have the same problem with my 4 year old. I have come to realize that the tv is the problem. We still watch it but try to limit it. the creativity is not there as much as it should be. I have started with a few shows in the morning and then it goes off and she has to go play in her room or do art or something. She has a cd player in her room to help with the "isolated feeling" because I think she misses being right by me when she is in her room and feels lonely. It takes time and is definately a process but last week she brought out her doll house and played with it for the first time in months. I was very excited becasue she used voices and pretend play and really seemed to have fun. Like it was when we were kids and did not have all the technology we have today. Kids forget how to play when they don't get the chance. Good luck!

Patti, I'm 39 m of 2, a 7 boy and a 4 yr old dt. We will be celebrating our 8th anni on 4/15. How similar.

Have you tried setting a play date with another child so that they will play with the toys that you are refering too? Also, I know what's helped with my kids is that all their toys are set up similar to a school's toy area. Eveything is put into a bin with its own category. This has also helped tremendously with clean up, bc they know which bins to put say all the balls, all the legos, all the transformers, all the pokemons. I don't have a game room in my house and the kids have a few of their toys in their own rooms. I have converted our "family room" into the kids' toy room. They do have a WII system in there, but they play with that maybe 20 mins a day if that. But I have to admit the TV is on in the afternoon and they will play with their toys in front of the TV.
But anyways, the toys being seperated into categories have made it easy for them to get what they want even if that one toy does not match the activity that they are doing. And when a friend comes over, they always think our toys are new and that creates excitement as well.

My advice...Take away his computer/tv/video game COMPLETLY...make him play with the stuff in his room. Tell him if he whines about his stuff in his room then he will simply have NO TOYS what so ever... make him earn things back....

I have a 7 and 8 year old that also LOVE to play with the computer and TV. It's rough, but the best thing for them is to limit their time doing both, because there are so many other good things out there to do. It's hard at first, but after a few weeks or so he should get used to finding other things to do. My boys still play with toys when they have nothing else, but their favorite things to do now are playing with the neighbors, jumping on the trampoline or playing board games. Maybe he just wants something more social. Just remember, it's good for children to get bored sometimes. It helps them be more creative. Putting up with the whining is not fun though. I would just ignore it and it will go away when he learns it is not getting him anything.

My kids are exactly the same ages (plus a two year old)and I go through the exact same thing with my oldest daughter and the TV/computer. I have also found that it is because of a lack of knowledge on HOW to play. I recently grounded my daughter from "barbie girls.com" and made her get out her barbies. We had a barbie play date with some neighbor girls and I showed them some things to do with them. It went really well. I also make them go outside and play. I will give them a theme (like pirates) and help find "costumes" and accessories. take some time to make a treasure map or something. If you just play with them and get them started, teaching them how, they will play together and come up with their own ideas. What toys did he get for Christmas. Maybe he can "earn them back" with outside or play time.

Hang in there, P.! I have a house full of foster sons, and you can bet their little lives revolve around the computer. My little angels earn computer time by "contributions". They can make a contribution to the family (30 minutes mopping the floor or walking the dogs, for example), or a contribution to themselves by choosing a healthy activity such as running or biking for 30 minutes. They can also earn the time by contributing to another member of the household (helping with homework or bathing the babies). I have a whiteboard where they record their contributions and their "electricity" time (electronic entertainment).

A.
Love and Logic Parent Coach

Do you play with his toys with him? If he's used to playing on the computer, then simple toys won't necessarily hold his attention. Computers and television can be very stimulating, on different levels. Does he have any interest in activity, like tossing a ball outside and running around?

My son does the same thing. He is all about the computer and his Nintendo DS, which we also limit. I don't have a solution for you though. We have tried everything. Mabye they come to a point where regular toys aren't fun anymore. I don't know. If you get any good advice let me know. I have done all that you are doing. Taking everything away didn't work either. You are not mean, just being a mom and wanting him to do something construtive.

Have a great day!!!

D. Mattern-Muck
The MOM Team
Raise your income and your rugrats at the same time!
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my son is the same - he would play pc games all day if he could so i ration him - 1 hour am and 1 hour pm
i have a timer which he sets and is his responsibility to turn off the game after it goes off.
he respects this rule, then he will go and read or play outside.
he doesnt really like to play with "toys" per se, but he likes to ride his bike, but he doesnt like to play on his own - so usually i will go outside with him until he is playing, then come back in and do my chores while he plays, but most of the store bought toys dont hold a kids attention very long. maybe you could get a swing set, my son also likes to help me with my chores - you could ask him - it will either keep him occupied or send him running to play!

If my guy cousins tried to pull the "I'm bored" card, my aunt would always find them something to do. Like pulling weeds. If they are bored anyway, they might as well do something useful was her attitude. After a while they leaned not to complain as much. :)