How Much Time Is Needed for "ME" Time.

Updated on August 26, 2009
L.D. asks from Lawrenceville, GA
15 answers

I am curious. How much "ME" time do you get?

My husband travels and I am a SAHM. I sometimes go days and even weeks before I get some "ME" time. During a month, I may get 3 days where I can go to the gym and will be there for about 2 hours.

So please let me know how many days a week do you get, and how many hours in a day you spend just relaxing by yourself.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to all that have responded.

After reading all the responses, I think I may have been mistaken. I DO get a chance to have "ME" time once the kids take their nap. (I was thinking about "getting out of the house without the kids""ME" time.) I get about 1 1/2 to 2 hours during their nap time, and of course I get some more when they go to sleep at night. Previously, I still had to clean up the kitchen after I put the kids to bed and usually I did not get finished until 10 or 11pm. Then I worked on my website until I got too tired. This is usually around 1 am. Between 6:30-7am, I usually get up to get ready before the kids wake up.

Recently though, I have been cleaning up the kitchen right after dinner. I just let the kids watch a video that they like so I can clean up. This has worked because now I get more time to update my website at night. (Little-Safe-One.com if you are wondering.)

I am anxiously awaiting when my 2 little ones start the Mommies Morning Out program. They will begin September 8th and will be there 3 days a week from 9am-1pm. I am looking forward to exercising and running errands while they are in playschool, however it will be bittersweet because they are now closer to going to school and growing up and I like the age that they are now. Oh well. c'est la vie. (That's life.)

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E.G.

answers from Atlanta on

Me time? ha ha ha...sorry
The only real me time I get is when both of my daughters are in bed. I just love that solitude, the peace and quiet. Then, I usually end up getting bored because I have nothing to do, and if I do, I'm usually to tired to do anything.
I work outside of the home, so I sometimes take my grand ole time getting home too.
Thats about it...

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T.W.

answers from Columbia on

i probably get a total of about a day or two a month. we have a 15 months old and a 3 1/2 year old.

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S.P.

answers from Charleston on

I also get very little time for myself. I get to go grocery shopping once every two weeks,which I enjoy doing, by myself and get to sometimes sit down and check my email when Phoebe's asleep or I'm not watching another child in my home. Just try to cherish the little bit of time you do have to yourself and know that within a few years you will want this time with your kids because they grow up too quickly.

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J.F.

answers from Macon on

What is "Me" time? I never got it when I was married.

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E.B.

answers from Macon on

Ever since my daughter was born my husband and I agreed that Saturday mornings were MY morning to sleep in (or do whatever) and Sunday mornings are his. It's been GREAT! Also, on some nights during the week I may run to the grocery store by myself while he stays home and put her to sleep. It's GREAT. Also, on weekends during her nap I sometimes get to sneak out for 2 hours or so. My husband is a great hands-on dad!

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I don't really get any. I also homeschool so I am around my kids a lot. I do love it, but I know what you mean about 'me' time. SO, I stay up late to get some. Rarely do I go to the store by myself, but I'd rather go with my husband anyway. lol

Homeschooling mother of 4

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D.L.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

My doctor says you should have ME time everyday. My children go to bed at 8pm. Thats when I have my time before I go to bed. Im usually exhausted by then from working 8 hours and then taking care of the kids but its nice to have that time to watch TV, read a book or just sit & have no noise (by myself). Good luck & God Bless!

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D.C.

answers from Savannah on

I have a 4 yr old and 17 mos old. I put my kids in for quiet time evryday that we are at home. The baby sleeps but sometimes my older daughter just plays in her room she falls asleep sometimes. I have a set time she is allowed out in the afternoon. I don't make it a negative thing so it's always just a relaxing time at our house if you dont have a nap time in place it might be a little hard to just start one but you could always start out saying 20 minutes or so and then increase the time I usally get at least an hour and a half usually 2 hours. This gives me time to read or get on the computer. I can use this time to catch up on house work but I try not too. Most of my free time out side of the house comes from doing errands or grocery shopping while my hubby watches the kids, it's actually pretty nice. i sometimes do a Moms night out with my friends or sometimes my hubby just tells me to go out by myself for a little while. Sometimes we compromise and I will take my older daughter with me and he will keep the baby which is nice b/c at 4 she is pretty easy. While the kids are so young don't feel too jipped it's hard to get away from it all sometimes but they will grow up quickly, steal a little time when u can and then just take a deep breath we will have plenty of me time when the kids leave the house.

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L.Q.

answers from Savannah on

I set aside at least 15 minutes a day for myself. It's amazing how just this little bit of time refreshes me. I'm a stay at home mom myself and I know how important it is to find some much needed alone time. I've gone as far as to add "mommy" time on our daily chore chart to let everyone know that this is my time for me. (http://www.helium.com/items/1460084-the-significance-of-t...)

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M.B.

answers from Athens on

With a 3 1/2 and a 2 yr old, I would say not much! Sorry! That is the life of being a mom... I will tell you as they grow you will find more "me" time. At these ages unless you just take "me" time it won't come to you very often. Have you checked into any local Mom's morning out programs in the area? Some churches or daycares sponsor these? It gives you a few hours in the morning while the children can interact with others. Sometimes the mom's take turns a couple days a week being the caregiver. If you are fotunate to have parents or relatives nearby, and they are willing to take the children for a few hours or even over night once a week? My "me" time was once the children were in bed. Of course, only a page or two of reading was all I accomplished before falling asleep. Our youngest will be 17 next Monday, and I have more "me" time since she started driving. Are you ready for that? Enjoy them while they are young - your "me" time will come back to you sooner than you know!

I've always been a working mother where my lunch time was the main "me" time I got each day. I've had children since I was 17 years old and now I'm 45 and feel as if I have time I can call my own. Enjoying the time for myself, but missing the companionship of having the children around while they are now out doing their own things. I practically have to make appointments to spend time with them now. So ENJOY, your me time will come back to you but will never be the same again.

Good luck and hang in there! Make the most of the minutes we have with them and without them.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I would absolutely, positively go INSANE if I didn't get some regular me time! This has been a source of contention between my husband and me, but we now have it worked out, and he understands that I go NUTS if I don't get some "me" time -quality "me" time every week and I also have to have a little every day.

One of the biggest helps for me is having my oldest in a half day preschool 3 times a week. There are tons of these around -lots through churches and YMCAs -that type of thing -that aren't too expensive and offer great socialization opportunities for your little ones. When my youngest turns one, he'll be going two half days per week as well! This would be a really good way for you to get some me time while your husband is traveling. Most of the moms I encounter at drop off and pick up are doing preschool for two reasons -to help their child socialize and to have "me" time!

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J.G.

answers from Columbia on

I am also a SAHM and in the same boat as you. I think every mom is a little different in their need to have me time. Most of us will agree that you do need it, but the amount is more of a personal thing. I go to school online, am an army wife, and SAHM. I used to crave more ME time...unfortunately I think I have gotten used to the fact that I don't get it. The most I get is if I wake up at 5:00 in the morning and by 6:00 I get my kids up and ready for the day.

Anyway...if you feel you need more time to yourself you need to talk to your husband. I hope this somehow helps and I wish you luck!

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J.L.

answers from Florence on

I work full-time, go to school part-time, and one weekend a month my 3 yo son goes to his grandparents' home. I try to combine me time with school homework - laying out with my accounting book, etc. I also take time after he goes to bed to relax, watch tv, read something non-school related. I usually get one free weekend afternoon (while hubby watches son) a month to go to the mall, beauty salon, etc. Hubby has no problems spending time with his son one-on-one, and housework at my house, well, it gets done when it gets done. As far as I'm concerned that's how it should be and I wouldn't accept anything less. Since your husband travels, I would invest in a good babysitter you can trust. They're really not that hard to find, I've had friends that used www.sittercity.com with excellent results.

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A.H.

answers from Atlanta on

L.,

What is "me" time??? Just kidding. When my children were younger, there was no such thing. Once in a blue moon I might get to go to the store by myself. But, I did not do stuff just for me. I spent those early years devoting myself to my kids and my husband. Looking back, I think that I could have been a much better mom and wife if I had made a point of taking a time out for myself at least once a week.

I worked when we had our first two children (full-time). I even went back to work when our third was born. However, I quickly learned that I could not handle working full-time, getting three children ready each morning by myself, getting myself ready each morning for work, getting the kids to daycare by myself, picking the kids up from daycare by myself, packing everything each child needed for each day, breastfeeding the baby, getting up at all hours for the baby and the 1 1/2 year old, and all the other stuff that went along with everyday life at that point. My husband didn't travel at that point, but worked long hours that began very early. So, after 6 weeks of working with the 3 kids, I cut back to part-time. I didn't become a complete SAHM until we moved 400 miles from "home."
Please know that I only share all that to share how lucky I believe you are by being able to stay home at this point.
Now, back to "me" time...I honestly think that you should work some "me" time into your schedule each week. Does your gym offer childcare? If you enjoy the gym and it offers the childcare, get on a solid schedule and go work out. You are also giving your children some much needed time away from you to learn valuable skills (social skills and self-confidence for example). Find time maybe after you put the kids to bed, or get your husband to watch the kids for an hour, maybe once a week and take a bubble bath and enjoy a good book while relaxing there. The amount of time you take isn't really the point, IMO. Just making it a point to take a break, take a deep breath, relax, and regroup are very important to maintaining sanity as well as maintaining patience and strong relationships with both your husband and your children.
I would also encourage you though to have 2 "other" dates each month. I personally love to have a girlfriend date to go shopping, to a movie, get our nails done, or whatever you enjoy doing with some of your girlfriends. I think it helps you to remember that you aren't just a wife and a mother. Then I would also recommend hiring a sitter, begging family if need be, to have a date with your husband. It doesn't even have to cost money. But also make "hubby & me" time.
Good luck in your quest to find "me" time!

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K.F.

answers from Macon on

Mom's Dayy out or preschool twice or three times a week, three hours - 9 to 12. My daughter loves it and I get time to run errands, bead, read, walk the dogs, go to appointments, grocery shop or whatever.
I require a lot of 'me' time and, at this point, am highly grateful and fortunate to get about as much as I crave. Usually it just comes down to either money or standing up for yourself. If you don't ask, you don't get! And some time away from Mom is great for your kiddo - we appreciate each other so much more and I am refreshed and so happy to see her when I pick her up. Personally I'd go wacko with only three days a month. But my friend doesn't require quite as much - it's up to you!

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