Hello moms!
My daughter is 8 months old and in day care. This day care is expensive, but she is there because her brother attends preschool in the same place and it is easier for me to get both of them at one location before work.
Anyway, this day seems to frequently lose my things. So far, she has been there for about 5 months, and they have lost 4 bottle caps, two reusable baby food jars, and for a while her bedsheets (the ones she had used the week prior, I replace them weekly) went missing for about 2 days before it showed up -- mixed up with another kid's stuff. Additionally, I see a whole bunch of things that don't belong to her in her cubby -- pacis, bibs, clothes, toys.
With the exception of one bottle cap that I forgot to label, ALL of my things are clearly labelled with a branded label I used for my son that I know is very good -- it does not fall off and it is clear, big, and easy to read. I mean, I have done the baby-in-day-care route before so I know the routine of labelling each part so that things don't get lost. But to me this is excessive and possibly a sign that, overall, the care is not as good as it could be -- especially for the price that I am paying.
I am planning on talking to the manager today about it. However, after that, I feel that it is appropriate to lower my threshold on when to pull her and find someplace else. It will make it harder for me to get to work on time, but whatever.
Do you agree? Or, am I overreacting?
Thanks for the great responses. You asked a lot of great questions, and YES, as a few of you guessed, it is not quite about missing things. Overall, I think the care that my daughter is getting is OK. She seems pretty happy, more so in the day than the afternoon. The room is clean and bright. The caretakers are pretty friendly. I would like to see more interaction and play -- maybe music time, more enthusiasm from the providers (they are a little dull). But the basics are there -- diapers, food, sleep. However, to me, respect for personal items is a basic thing too. It's my child and I take time to put all her stuff together neatly and cleanly. When it comes to these missing things -- no, I do not get an apology when I have mentioned it in the past. There is no attempt to try to look for the missing item -- I am left to do it by myself. At one point, I felt like I was nagging so I left it alone, hoping that my missing item will pop up in my kid's cubby, but that never happened. Yesterday, I told the room caretaker that my missing jar was the second one that was lost and she said, "oh, really?" and it would have been nice if she at least apologized or made some attempt to look for it with me but instead she just propped the door open for me to leave (my baby was the last one in the room, so I assumed she was hunkering to go home).
What actually prompted me to write this letter was that, I in fact did decide that I would only take to day care pre-made jarred foods so that the possibility of lost things is smaller, at least when it comes to jars. But then yesterday I got a note on her pee/poop record "NO GLASS JARS." Frankly, I got angry over that since jarred foods are not even my first choice for my daughter (I make her food) but again I chose this option just to not have to keep losing stuff. I felt it was inconsiderate and, if they don't want jarred foods, then don't lose my stuff.
I take the time to label everything. So I feel they should respect my property, even if it is a little old bottle cap that isn't even worth a penny. It's worth it to me when I don't have to take 2 extra minutes out my morning just to wash extra bottle caps.
That would drive me crazy!! I watch children in my home. The second a baby is finished, I put the bottle in her bag. This way nothing gets lost. If you put things were they belong when you are done using them, things do not get lost!!
You are paying them for their service, and they are not doing a very good job! You should not have to replace bottle tops, baby food jars or anything else. I would talk to the director.
Nope. I would feel the same way. Not b/c of the high expense but b/c I would be scared that they are sticking anything into my baby's mouth that may not belong to her or worse, something unsterilized that came out of someone's else's bag.
You are paying for childcare and that includes the well being of your child and that includes sanitation and respect of property.
I am a little confused. You think the care at this facility may not be up to your standards because they lost a few bottle caps and baby food jars?
If this were happening at my facility, I would think the person(s) in the room were too busy worrying about the health and happiness of the babies and is perhaps absentminded when it comes to labels and organization of baby items such as bottles. But if you are thinking it means substandard care, maybe there are other signs you didn't mention here. I know my children are in good hands, missing bottles or not.
I would probably mention this to the women in the room who are doing the losing before I would talk to the manager. Have you tried that?
Also, I always send to day care things I wouldn't mind losing (and expect to lose a few things).
Good luck.
I think you might be over reacting a tad. :)
Bottle caps and baby food jars are little things. I could lose my own! LOL
The sheets may have been an issue of O. worker putting them someplace the others didn't know.
I would be more concerned with my baby using another child's paci. Talk to the workers about that for sure.
Otherwise, look at the care she is getting. Are you happy with it?
Hmmmm. I personally am much better at hanging onto and taking care of people than I am of stuff, so perhaps I'm biased, but if your only complaint is lost objects, than I would probably live with that. If the daycare is nurturing and attentive to the BABIES, and if your daughter is happy and comfortable there, that's worth its weight in gold. And 8 months is a notoriously difficult age for a caregiver switch. I'd just buy cheaper things for her, so it's not a big deal if they get lost.
I really, really, really dislike losing things, so I can understand your frustration. Have you asked the teacher in the room where XYZ lost item is when you pick up your daughter? Sometimes things just get misplaced or things get moved by the kids. I know that our daycare has found many a missing paci that had been thrown or "hidden" but it's usually easier to find it the day of, as opposed to a few days later. I pretty much just take an inventory of what I've brought in and make sure I take it back out with me when I leave (other than blanket, paci, etc that stays there). :)
But, I agree that it may not be indicative of the standard of care. If you can, spend some time observing. See how they "normally" do things...then make your decision. My daycare uses the 2 hour rule for checking diapers (and immediate change of poopy diapers, of course), but my daughter has sensitive skin. So, since the "normal" is not working for me, I asked them to check her every hour (and I write it on her sheet EVERY day just in case they have a sub or rotating teacher who isn't familiar with her routine). They were more than happy to oblige, and it didn't require any "serious" intervention. :)
The big question is how much do you like the care there overall? I always think that it's interesting that people equate cost of care with quality care. It's not always the case. I know that I provide exceptional care to the kids I have in my daycare, and I also know that I am mid-range in price. MIne is a home daycare vs a center though and I don't have the same overhead and since I had to have my kids in care prior to running my own daycare, I like being able to provide quality care to families who may not be able to afford daycare easily.
Back to your question. Whether you're over reacting (imo) depends on how many kids are there, how many babies are there and how many caregivers are there. One baby item looks surprisingly the same as another and it's easy to get distracted, set something down and then forget which child it goes with. My daycare is not big and I'm really familiar with my kids, and I have a good system so I tend not to lose things. But I don't think it should be a deal breaker. I'd talk to them about your concerns and see if it improves. I would point out that you are careful to label things so they don't get misplaced and mixed with someone else's things.
I would be bothered by some things like pacis in her cubby. If they aren't keeping track of which paci belongs to which child then kids are probably sharing their germs and illness will be more frequent. No fun, especially with an 8 mo old.
I don't really have an opinion about whether your over reacting because it's hard to see the whole picture... just some things to consider. The care she gets there might be great and the lack of organization with "stuff" may or may not be an indicator of the quality.
The sanitation issue alone would drive me nuts. Especially if you noticed other children's things in her spot. Things going missing, I would report the next day I brought them to day care. You are paying them to watch your child, as well as keep her things together. It shouldn't be that difficult. Speak up! If things don't change, I would find someplace else. It's not worth your child's health or your aggravation.
I don't think this would be my deciding factor. Does she have consistent care from the same "teachers"? Do you like them? Do you feel she is safe? Are they apologetic for lost stuff? Are they responsive and seem in tune with your child? How do they explain not finding your stuff?
Yes, I can see this as a symptom of laziness and potential inattentive care. But if it is the only thing wrong, then I don't know if it's worth removing her from a place where she seems well cared for, happy, and safe. I would discuss with the lead techer that you are unhappy about this. If it happens again, then go to the manager. If there is other stuff going on that worries you, then I would remove BOTH kids.
If they are not good enough for your daughter, they are not good enough for your son. You are over-reacting. Follow them around for a few days, be them, then we'll see how well you keep track of it all.
I agree. You are not overreacting. Put them on notice.
Personally, if this is your only problem with the daycare, I would probably mention it to the director once and then let it go. How is the care of your children otherwise?
Having used several daycares over the years, and coming back to my original one once they fired a terrible teacher, I have a little bit different view of reasons to find a new daycare. I look at it as it being a ton easier to replace small lost items than it is to find loving people who care about my children, watch them and keep them safe, feed them properly, and communicate with me. If you don't have problems in these other areas, I urge you to stop worrying so much about the lost items. Until you go through a few bad daycare situations, you don't know how bad "BAD" can be, and I tell you this so that you can miss having to deal with finding it out.
It sounds like they are just a bit disorganized with "stuff". Do talk to the director, and ask her what you can do to help. In fact, ask her to go to the teachers with you, and approach it from a "helping" point of view rather than an accusing point of view. It could be that the director can think of a new system to help overall.
Good luck!
Dawn
No, you are not over reacting. All these things add up...it shows, to ME, clear lack of regard for your child's things/belongings and respect for you.
If I am paying $400 a week (that's what ALMOST what full time infant care is here in DC), I EXPECT my items to be easily accessible to ME and my child. I EXPECT my provider(s) to know the difference between my stuff and someone else's - especially if I take the time to label it properly.
Talk to the manager. Get the people on the ball. I know some will say - well your child is being taken care of...no, they aren't - if someone else's paci or bottle is in my child's cubby - clearly - that is NOT right. Hold them accountable for their actions.
I think I would be upset for the reason if they are putting other kids things in with your childs then they may be giving her the other kids things like a pacifier or bottles. Sounds like there are too many kids for them to handle. I would talk to someone after all you are paying them to take care of your daughter and you want to be comfortable leaving her there so you can do your job at work. I would talk to someone there it could just be the older kids are messing with everyones things.
Hi R.,
I don't think that you are over reacting in wanting the things that you send to daycare returned home. Since it seems to be a habitual thing, and you say that you send everything properly labelled, if you have not spoken to the teacher or director, I would do so. I know that the caregivers are busy taking care of the infants, but they sound very disorganized, if you keep finding other people's things in your daughter's cubby and numerous things that you've sent have been lost. They may need to come up with a better system or just make more of an effort in terms of being organized. You are not asking too much.
Talk to the center director, and I'm sure the matter will get resolved. Good luck!
I would be concerned. I would start thinking these lost items are only what I see on the surface and so what am I not seeing. For me it would be all too easy to argue the lost items are indicative of poor care NOT busy, loving workers. All you can do is talk to the care providers. They will have to explain why the items are lost. Too many children with too few caregivers? A new caregiver they are trying to train? A sloppy/disorganized caregiver? A new system which everyone is adjusting too? The children getting the items and moving them? Clearly the list of possibilities is lengthy. Also talk to them about solutions and plans for limiting the losses.
After listening to their reasons/excuses, you'll have a better feel for the situation and then you can make a better informed decision. I would hesitate to move her too quickly if in your gut you feel she is receiving good care, though. A loving care environment is worth its weight in gold in my opinion. The grass is never greener on the other side as we all know. A move will mean new issues and concerns. Good luck.
