Cont..She Took My Daughter's Hoodie!...

I would also have been upset, but it was only $10. It is all very strange. I agree the school messed this up.

I would let it go, but continue to label anything taken to school.. You will need to continue to do this for years anyway, good time to start.

Just breath..

Okay... this isn't helpful... but it might make you laugh.

What I WOULD PAY MONEY TO SEE is for you to take the director's coat from her chair, say this COULDN'T be the director's jacket, because the last time you stole her jacket it was a different size, and there is no way the director can be sure it's HER jacket.

Oh wait. What? It's stealing if someone takes it from YOU? You mean you REMEMBER what size you are, and remember purchasing it? I thought you said that wasn't possible.

I'm laughing because the director clearly remembers having allowed the other child to borrow clothing from your daughter before! Hello, people!

Tomorrow I would go in with the cheeriest smile on my face.

"I know I'm going to come across as That Mom, and I hate it that it's going to seem that way, but the pink hoodie that Pryncess was sent home with belongs to my daughter. I realize that there's been some confusion, but Daughter has been asking about her hoodie since it's a favorite item of clothing. I wouldn't press for it otherwise. I would really hate to have to bring it up with Pryncess's Mom since it would end up being really embarrassing for the school."

Hello,
It's certainly annoying, but my advice would be to let it go. A $10 hoodie is not worth all of this effort and anger -- even if it's the principle of the whole thing. In the future, do something a little more distinctive to your daughter's removable clothing (jackets, etc.). So I do agree with your last sentence: let it go.

Leave the cubby-mate's mother a note in the cubby. Tell her that the school let you know that they had mistakenly sent their daugher home with your daughters hot pink hoodie, and politely ask if she could please send it back in sometime this week. Short and sweet. If mom does not realize what happened, she will when she gets the note. I would know if my son came home with something that was not his. My husband however would not notice this. By leaving her a note you can go straight to the woman who can most likey solve the issue.

I think it is time to let it go. It is unfortunate that it happened.

I have a friend who has her child's name sewn into the clothing so no removal of iron on's, sharpie, etc.

One mom made a good point that the chubby mate's mom may not realize what happened. I find that hard to believe because I always knew what I packed for daughter and what we owned. In the event something did get sent home with us, I kindly returned it. BUT, if it makes you feel better, send a nice note and see what happens. Then Drop it.

If it were me though, I would let it go... The anger and hard feelings caused are not worth the cost of the hoodie.

I read the previous post and this one. Ask the child's parent and stop dealing with the school. They obviously want to protect themselves somehow and if they want to protect themselves over a mix-up with a tiny hoodie -- good grief.

Through all this, you have never just talked to, called or left a note for the other child's mother? Do you and she not know each other? Maybe your school does not provide a directory of students so you're unable to reach her? I'm trying to figure why you would not start with her.

"Hi, my daughter is X. I think the school made a mistake and sent her pink hoodie home with your daughter. They wrote your daughter's name in it thinking it was hers, by mistake. I noticed it in your daughter's cubby at school. I'd like to take it home." Or something along those lines. Polite. Feel free to put the burden on the school. That seems to be where it lies. But if this is the first and so far only such incident -- why so angry?

I can't imagine why this has gone so far --up to the school director? Who is getting this defensive....This is the kind of thing to resolve between parents or possibly with a teacher if needed. Was some staff member maybe dumb about how this was handled? Yes. Is it a reason to get this worked up? Only if the other kid is truly -- not by accident, not because an adult handed it to her -- truly stealing stuff from your child. This was one time. If you really want them to get the message that you are angry, then every day when you pick up your child, check she has what she came with and if she does not, walk back into school with her then and there, and say, "We've come to look into X's cubby. She came with a (item) this morning but seems to have left it or lost it. We don't want to go home without it."

I think it would be time to let it go. You, ultimately, have no proof and neither does the school. I would let them know that you disagree with their version of the situation, but *one* ten-dollar hoodie is not worth disrupting the class or the administration.

I would, however, remind them that you know what size clothing you child wears, how and where you label her things, and you WILL be pursuring it further if anything else goes missing only to turn up in another child's possession.

I would also reiterate that this hoodie has gone home with this child on more than one occasion and that you would like to know what else can be done by both parties (you and the school) to ensure that this situation doesn't happen again.

I know you should let it go, but I would find that sooooo hard to do!! I know this is bad, but next time I went into the school I'd want to just grab the dang hoodie out of the cubbie and go home with it! I can't even believe something like this is going on at school. Personally, I would KNOW if my kid came home with an article of clothing that did not belong to her (but like another poster said, my husband would have no idea) Reminds me of a funny story - when I was about 4 I coveted my neighbor's big wheel. One day I "stole" it out of his garage and rode it home, leaving it in my driveway. When my dad came home from work he stopped the car just before hitting the big wheel and then got out and screamed my name. I thought for sure I was caught! But then he picked up the big wheel and said "You need to put your toys away so they don't get run over!" as he threw it into our garage! Some dads are clueless. Anyway, I would probably call the mom and explain what happened. She probably hasn't seen this particular hoodie at home, and she'll be horrified to find out that her daughter's name is now in it. Good luck!

First of all, the cost of tuition is irrelevant, (per your other post) people will spend their money on some things and not on others, maybe the grandparents are paying for it, you don't know their situation.

I learned the hard way that people can't be trusted, my daughter had a beautiful handmade blanket she'd had from birth stolen at the Montessori kindergarten she attended, by a mom who had just purchased a new home and was moving, never to be seen again! Someone saw her with it as she left and it didn't click with them until I asked where it was, of course she never returned their calls...

Secondly, let it go, and take a lesson from whoever used black marker and use that from now on. It won't peel off, and you can go over it when it begins to fade from washing. Be prepared to stay on top of this, my granddaughter is still getting her things taken at school, soccer and gymnastic classes, and she's 10. But by that age they know not to ever show up wearing them so she never sees them again :-/

How frustrating. Seems like the school could solve this quite easily by asking the other girl's parents if this is her hoody or not. It's quite likely the staff person made assumptions that aren't true.

If the school isn't willing to do that I'd call her parents and in a calm interested in the truth way ask if the pink hoody in question is her daughter's. It's likely that they'll be honest.

My grandson came home with a jacket one time and later shoes that weren't his. The teacher said that he was given them from the clothes closet and that they know they do not belong to anyone else. So my daughter has accepted them as his. Something like this could've happened with the other parents. I'd ask.

Other than that, I'd let it go. Ten dollars is not worth the aggravation and frustration. I'd just be sure my daughter's clothes were marked with a permanent marker so that I'd feel more comfortable about it not happening again.

I agree that this is also not worth the school making changes which are confusing to kids and teachers as well as involved parents.

And.....I would present this to my child as a mix up not only in clothes but in communication instead of as a theft. You're right this is a learning experience for her. It actually does not sound like a theft to me. Also saying it's a theft has a connotation of your daughter being a victim and I wouldn't want to encourage that feeling. One can sometimes do something about a mix up, tho not always. There is little that can be done about an out and out theft.

I suggest that talking with the other mother has the potential of clearing this up.

Move up the ladder. They can not just take your child's things and give them away. Talk to the next higher up person until you at the very least get an apologize since it appears that it may have been the school that stole your item.

Keep labeling everything that goes to school as you usually do but see about also setting a small label inside a sleeve where it's not easily seen/noticed.
You could also personalize a jacket with some cute patch on the front.
Tell the school if the other child doesn't have any coat in the future, she can look elsewhere besides your daughters belongings.
Many schools have a lost and found that they'll use for spares if they need them.
Might be funny to see what they do if you tell them you suspect lice.
Sharing clothing is a way it's gets spread.

If you really are sure it's your daughters, I would not let it go. I would inform the director that you want to have a meeting with her and the other mom to sort this out.
I don't label all of my kids stuff - I do backpacks and coats, but not every sweatshirt and hoodie. I'd be po'd if the school thought that it was their responsibility to label my child's things. (especially since they labeled it for the wrong child).

This would be annoying for sure, but just not worth starting a huge confrontation about... If this isn't a really special piece of clothing (which it doesn't sound like), then I would just let it go unless it happened again...

I am sorry I don't have any real sound advice but I just wanted to day that I feel your pain, because I am going through the same thing myself right now. My daughter had a fleece hoodie (pink, with a hot pink leopard spot pattern, from Hanna Andersson) that she took to preschool with her one day, then to child care afterwards (different room in the same building) and somehow managed to get "lost". AND it actually did cost a fair amount of money, and I had gotten it with some matching tights as well. DD shares her preschool locker with another little girl, because she has morning preschool and the other girl is in the afternoon class, but the teacher remembers taking it to child care with DD that day. DD didn't have a locker assigned to her yet for her things so the hoodie was just kept in the child care room and when it turned up missing, the child care folks couldn't say what happened to it. They did say there was one little girl that had been admiring it (as well as DD's back pack) the day before and they had to say something to her about not taking things that didn't belong to her. So then the next day the hoodie is gone (the back pack was okay). None of the lockers have actual locks on them so we check them all but no hoodie. There are also a couple different lost and found bins, but again no hoodie. The child care worker called the mom of this particular little girl but was told they did not have it. So now I have left a note by the sign-in sheet describing the hoodie and asking to please have it returned, just in case it got stuffed into someone else's back pack or there is a parent or caregiver who didn't realize it was not their kid's hoodie (and for the record, DD's name was written on the tag in permanent marker after I heard about this other girl eyeing it). At this point I feel I have done all I can do - I don't feel it's really the job of the school administration to track down every missing article of clothing and personal property. If I were you, if you think it's with this other girl, I would just address them directly and ask for it back. If I happen to spot another little girl at DD's school wearing the hoodie, I am going to ask to see the tag on the inside. I did try to see if I could order another one on-line but unfortunately they are all sold out. If we never see it again, all I can do is hope that the family that has it needs it more than we do. Hopefully there will not be a next time for us either. Lesson learned.

My daughter still remembers that 3 years ago someone took her brand new target jacket with cherries, the first jacket that fit without being altered.
whenever we see one in lost and found, she looks at it. I could not find iron-on labels so I wrote with permanent marker. We never did find it.

Another time a dad took my daughter's jacket off her hook. She told him it was hers and so did his daughter and the teacher. He tried to take it but I showed up and said it is hers. This was the one time I forgot not to label it.

I love the idea of labels inside the sleeve where they won't see it. Then I sure would point it out. I also might just take it. "It was mine." For all future references, my child is not authorized to lend or give away anything.
My girl was 2 sizes bigger, it was a different shade of pink, and a different brand. He asked the teacher to hold it so I could not take it home. When he told his wife, she apologized. He had her jacket in his car the whole time. I took it home and wrote her name on it inside. It upset my child and made her worry about adults and kids just taking her stuff.
I would switch cubbies and start using permanent markers or adding unique iron-ons. Go to Joanns and buy out all the little daisies for example.