How Do You Pray and Just Let Things Happen

First of all: did you give medicine to your daughter? Are you taking care of her the way you should (call the pediatrician, get medicines, giving them to her??)? I really hope I misunderstood your post, because from the way you wrote here, it looks like you're just "praying" without taking any action to help the child, like one of those religious freaks who think that God "works" like if he were alive and on Earth rather than through our own actions. Look, I am Catholic myself and never under any circumstances have I been thaught to just pray and do nothing to help myself. Here's a story for you:
"A very religious man had an accident, he fell in a river and was drawning. Another man offered him a long stick from the riverbank, so he could hold on to it and be rescued. The drawning man said:"No, it's up to the Lord wether I'll survive or not". The other man called for help and a helicopter came to the rescue. The drawning man said, again: "No, it's up to the Lord wether I'll survive or not". After the helicopter came a boat and the drawning man said the same thing and drawned. When he got to Heaven and faced the Lord he asked him:"Lord, why did you not save me?" and the Lord answered: "Son, i have sent you a man, an helicopter and a boat". So here you have it. Religion is not just about praying, is rather applying what we belive in through ACTION. He acts through us, so stop being silly about the prayers and find yourself an educated priest that can explain you the TRUE MEANING of praying...the way you describe it it's just a shallow image of a prayer. I think you may benefit from a whole "re-think" of religion. Now, go take your child to ER!

i don't believe gods micromanage our lives and the events in them. there's a complicated interplay between divine Will, our choices and random chance that mere mortals can't untangle. for me, prayer is never about insisting that the gods go along with what i want, it's to have the wisdom and fortitude to deal with what comes down the pike, and to be Their hands in the world as i cope.
it's totally understandable to want a sign. we all do. the trick is to look around. the signs are generally there, but the divine works within the real world. burning bushes don't often occur but our gods speak to us all in very individual ways. if you pay attention you'll start to figure out what your love language with the gods is.
that's when things start to get very cool indeed.
i hope your daughter feels better soon, and that YOU stop feeling as if you are a 'bad daughter' to your god. i'll bet He doesn't feel that way.
khairete
S.

I personally follow this in regards to prayer:

Trust in God and DO something!

From your profile, J., I see that you have had many challenges and sources of anxiety for a long time. Your husband and your daughter have ongoing difficulties with their health, and it sounds like you have somehow come to see that their health somehow rests on you, perhaps on whether you can pray well enough, or perhaps because you aren't deserving enough.

That's not a healthy position for you to be in, and may very well indicate that you are suffering from depression. I hope that you take some time, AFTER you get your daughter to the ER, to take care of yourself, too. You've been struggling with a great deal of worry for a long time. Life may not get "easier" for you in a material sense, but if you get some care for your own emotional state, perhaps medically, perhaps with the help of your priest or other counseling services, you will have the emotional resources you need to cope better.

On prayer: I no longer think of God as a wise old man in the sky handing out goodies to the deserving, though that's pretty much what I was taught as a child. I have come to understand God as the creative force and source of everything, which of necessity, includes illness, accidents, and death. Everything has its place, and while personal suffering is challenging, it is simply a part of all that is. God doesn't intend to hurt or punish us with disease, but some of us will get sick because germs and physical vulnerability are simply part of the whole picture. Some people will wail, "Why me?" I shrug and say, "Why NOT me?"

So, I haven't understood prayer as asking for what I want since I grew up enough to think it through. Rather, prayer it has come to represent a wish for alignment with God's will, or with reality, which for me is the same thing. And for loving and appreciating reality. Not always easy, but when I manage it, I feel more peaceful. When I manage it, everything can even seem "perfect." Even in the middle of illness or loss.

I wish you and your family the best, even if that included challenges.

Dude, calm down. Prayer alone is never the answer. God gives you resources to help. It's like that old joke. A flood is coming and someone asks a man if he wants to leave with him. The man says no, God will help me. Then his house is partially flooded and a guy on a boat comes and asks if he wants to come with him. He says no, God will help me. Finally, his whole house is flooded and he's on the roof. A helicopter comes by, and tries to help him. He says no, God will help me. Finally, he dies and he asks God why he didnt help. God says, "I sent you a man, a boat, and a helicopter, it's not my fault!"

God sends us doctors and hospitals and other resources to help, he's not going to magically make your daughter better. If you havent already taken your daughter to the doctor/er, please do. God let you and your daughter be born in a time when there are medicines and doctors and it would be a sin not to use them.

I'm sorry 5 days is a long time for a fever. I would take her a children's hospital ER today. God heals through the hands of His people.

I'm glad that your daughter has gotten a presecription for her sinus infection. I'm sure it will kick in pretty soon now and her fever will go away. If her fever is more of a low-grade fever then I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Just keep putting cool compresses on her forehead, neck and underneath her arms to keep her temperature down until the medicine takes effect. As for the subject of prayer, here's what I found to be true for me. . .

Sometimes it's good to pray, to talk to God.
And sometimes it's good to be quiet after you pray, to listen to God and what he has to say.
It is in that quiet time that I feel a sense of peace come over me and I sometimes understand what I need to understand.
Quieting your mind is very hard when you have so much worry and concern on your mind but it is usually in those quiet periods when you will feel the grace of God and the universe.
It just takes time and practice.

That's just my approach to the whole issue. I hope it helps you. And I hope that your daughter feels better soon.

I have found it is helpful to remember the prayers that have been answered, especially when waiting on God. If you need to, make a list of answered prayers, then when it is hard to have faith, you can read the list.

I do think God wants to be in relationship with you, not just to be a jukebox, where you say "fix this problem now" and he does it.

I think God has good plans for you, and some times He may walk you down a winding road, but He always wants the best outcome for you.

He definitely loves you and wants to hear from you, so know that he is glad to hear from you in prayer and now he can use other people like me to pray for you. When you have time, talk (face to face) to a minister or trusted spiritual advisor so that you can learn more about prayer. I am still learning things about prayer!

I think it takes more than prayer...it takes the faith to back up the prayer. The prayer should also not be conditional as in 'if you do x I'll do y'.

As for your daughter, you might want to take her back to the doctor's office tomorrow so that they can recheck her. They might even have to change the medication if it does not seem to be helping.

I hope you both feel better soon!

First, I don't know the age of your child, but they always say no matter the age that if you have a fever for more than 2 days you need to see the doctor.

Second, as to prayer. That is a difficult question. God knows what is in our hearts and knows our prayers before we even lift them up to him. But you do need to lift them up and ask for his help. Find a quiet place and pray and it is also very important to listen. I also think it takes a while to feel comfortable with praying. I like what the other lady said about talking to your priest too.

God bless and I pray that your dd will get better soon.

I know you're looking for a "sign", but that isn't how God always works. Have you read the bible? Perhaps you should start reading a chapter/section a day. The bible tells you all about God and his promises.

I also wonder with the first poster..... Have you tried anything to get her better. PRAYING is always GOOD but God also gives us common sense to deal with issues! Have you given her luke-warm baths??? (That ALWAYS brings our kids' fevers down at least for a while.) Have you brought her to a chiropractor or doctor AT ALL during this fever? Have you given her any medicine? Or rubbed peppermint oil on her?

YOU NEED TO PRAY BUT YOU ALSO NEED TO ACT!

Another way of restating what Riley said below:

Trust in God, but tether your camel."

We do not live in a perfect world. We live in a world full of sin, and corruption and evil and yes, even sickness.

In a health situation like this yes, pray for guidance and strength to carry on. Pray that you know what to do and when to do it. You cannot control God's omnipotent power and ultimate outcome.

My life has taught me that NO answer to a prayer, IS an answer. God wants me to act on the prayer request, not HIM or HER.

So, give your daughter appropriate motrin/advil/ibuoprofen products, give her a luke warm bath with epsom salts, have her eat soups and drink other fluids. And call your doctor to see what's going around and if it lasts this long.

There is a terrible cold virus going around right now. My friend's 10 yr. old daughter missed the entire week of school. That's a long time to be down, but viruses are known to last 5-7 days. You are still within the normal time frame for one's immune system to fight back and conquer.

I agree with Riley J, pray, believe in God, do your best to follow what's truly right and then DO.

God doesn't answer you in ways YOU expect. Maybe he gives you the idea to do something. Maybe it's that little voice telling you it's time to go to the ER. Maybe he's teaching you how to take care of your daughter when she's sick, so that this little virus trains you how to take care of her better going forward and handle bigger illnesses and injuries when they come your way.

Maybe He's letting this little virus take it's course, in a way that isn't going to hurt your daughter long term, but is going to make you stand up, take notice and think about how you should be living your life - the type of daughter, mother, etc you want to be.

From a motherly standpoint, just remember that young children need to develop a resistance to viruses. Their immature immune systems don't recognize the bad germs yet. So this is all just part of life. I don't think you are being punished for "being a bad daughter". And I also don't think that faithful followers have kids who never get sick or get well sooner.

As for your questions of "why" - why do kids get sick? why do babies die? The only reason I have ever had for these things is because this is how he teaches us. To be better parents. Better people. To value life. To want to grow up to be doctors, nurses and caregivers. To inspire us. I don't think you'll ever learn "why" until you can ask him yourself. But this is just what I've come to believe.

Perhaps this ordeal is part of your daughter's life process, but is also giving you a chance to make changes in your life. Be a proactive parent. Be a better person. God will listen to you no matter what. Just look and listen for signs of help, even if it's just that little voice in your head.

Remember God gave Adam and Eve free will - to choose. They/and we are allowed to make choices. I hope you make better ones that you don't regret. Your daughter will grow up with a strong, confident mother who is teaching her good values and most importantly, how to trust in herself and God when it comes to difficult times. And we all have difficult times.

Best wishes for you and your daughter.

Hi J., I like your post very much.

Every faithful one has felt like you are feeling today. I certainly have.

Faith is a journey, twists and turns and change, and then ultimately peace. All of your questions in this post will be answered when you get there.

I also believe we oftern (VERY OFTEN) miss the 'answer' to our prayers. It doesn't work like a deli where you place your order on one side of the counter and step over to the other side to pick it up. You have to look DEEP for your blessings, the answer is not always clear to us pathetic humans.

I have struggled myself with many of God's 'decisions', the Tsunami, 911, the earth quake in Haiti, and so on. I've chosen to believe that
1) Without God's intervention, that things we humans deem as tragic would be MUCH MUCH worse.

2) There is a REASON behind the maddness that we will not fully understand until we get there.

Humans believe death is TERRIBLE, but it is a natural part of life. Lame as it sounds, suffering actually strengthens us all.

I hear the desire to continue to grow with your own faith in your post. I think peace is on the way for you.

You are NOT a bad 'daughter' to God. God doesn't make BAD people. Only people who stray, make poor choices, have room to grow, and we are all toddlers in God's presence learning to walk and live in His light. It takes an entire lifetime of work to get close to Him.

I say all this with peace and confidence and yet, I gotta tell you, St Peter had better block off a LOT of time for me 'cause I got BIG questions!

I DO firmly and without doubt believe it will ALL be clear to me when I get there.

I HAVE to believe that, it is the fullest, richest, most peaceful way to use the life that He gave me.

:)

I work in a NICU. I have had several of "my" babies die. Their parent's hearts are so broken. Why do these things happen? I have come to believe that there is a plan and things are very intertwined. We play a very small part in the plan, so we can't see the bigger picture. The pain, the lessons learned from these experiences affects how we deal with people/situations in the future and this goes on and on. I picture a pond. The pond is quiet. There are leaves and twigs floating on the surface. Fish are swimming in the pond. A rock is dropped into the pond. Where the rock hits the water there is a big splash and then ripples go from the splash out further and further. One of the ripples is strong enough to change the direction of the twig or the leaf. We are in the pond. We maybe in the center or near the center where the rock is dropped or we may be further away and effected by the ripple. Since we are in the pond we can't see the whole effect. God is standing on the edge of the pond; he sees the effect. I always feel so bad for those who pray so hard for a miracle and "don't get it" (the miracle). In my experience they often have a crisis in faith as well as the pain of the loss of their loved one - two losses instead of one. God is there. Often his "signs" go unnoticed. The gentle hand on my back when I am about to scream because I have spent all day having breast biopsies which eventually confirm breast cancer. The gentle fall of water on my bald head that calms me and centers me. The unexpected e-mails or letters of support I received. The kind woman who just recently took my 14 year old son back to school when he got horribly sick when on a school run. There are many "signs" that God is paying attention. Sometimes we are not paying attention or it's not the sign we want/expect.

Hi J.,

I am so sorry you are having this issue. I believe, as we have talked before, that God is sovereign in ALL things. I do believe there are reasons for everything God gives us, for HIS glory and for OUR growth. If you believe that He is the creator of this universe, then it stands to reason that He can do anything....as He wills it.

We build relationships with people over time and we learn about them. Faith comes over time. Trust does not just happen. Fear is not the emotion of trust. You cannot overcome your fear until you trust. Have you ever heard someone thank God that they lost their legs? I have. Have you ever heard someone say that if their husband hadn't left them, they never would have found God? I have. God is not finite like we are. We CANNOT understand it all, as much as we try. We were created in HIS image. We are not all knowing like He is.

All that said, God does promise that he will give His children the desires of their hearts.....We MUST ask and believe that He is telling the truth. That goes back to trust. J., you don't need a sign he is listening to you. He told you He was in His Word. He does not see you as a "bad daughter." He sees you covered in the blood of Christ. It doesn't matter what we do. It matters what Christ accomplished on the cross. It HAS been done.

God bless!

M.

Prayer helps *you* cope, it does nothing for anyone else. Period. Religion helps *you* deal with life and help you walk through it in a way that makes you feel at ease, not because it helps any one else.

IN short, pray because it makes *you* feel better and then follow what the Dr. has to say about your DD.

And God did help make modern medicine, if we believe He is a creator of all things, so why not use what He gave? Just sayin.