How Do You Know What Stresses You - and How Do You Relax? (A Little Long)

OMG they are creating so much drama over your tight muscles.
just ignore them.
You know yourself best.

Anyway... I stretch. That always helps, tense muscles.
Or just soaking on a nice hot tub....

Sure everyday stuff can make us physically tense... even our Posture can affect our muscles and make it tight or sore. Even the way we sit on a chair at our desk.... can make our muscles tight and sore.
Wrong Ergonomics.... affects our muscles and alignment or straining. For example.

For some people... swimming really helps. Or yoga. Or Tai Chi.
These all helps.

all the best,
Susan

I found going to a chiropractor will put your body back in alignment and then you feel much better/are less tense. They say when you get out of alignment your muscles over compensate and get tense. It worked for me! I used to have knotted up back/shoulder muscles and now I'm all loose :) I do not have a phobia about being touched though. I LOVE massages!!! I wish I could afford them! I also found that a yoga class will get me back to normal - that might be a good solution for you if you don't want someone touching you. Can you take an evening yoga class once a week? Pick a mellow, stretching type class and not one of the "power yoga" ones!

First off: ANY injury can cause the muscles that are taking over for it (in addition to the ones nearby it) to spasm or to tie themselves in knots. Since you tweaked your shoulder, it sounds like the surrounding muscles have overcompensated and spasmed. From experience you can spend about 4-6 weeks getting them to relax via daily exercises, or one 50 minute massage by a qualified practitioner can relax them as if by magic...saving you weeks of work and allows those weeks to be spent on the injury instead of a side effect of the injury.

My FAVORITE way to deal with stress actually IS massage. Love it. I used to go in once a week to get my neck and shoulders and back done. Happy happy happy muscles. As a child athlete I used to get sports massage, sometimes daily, and -of course- teammates used to rub each other's necks/ shoulders/ etc as we were sitting around waiting in competition. Ditto drama-massage as you're sitting around waiting for your scene.

How else relax? Sex, drinking, or stretching are my 3 go-tos.

I always found that having small children automatically put my body on "high alert" - I never wanted to let my guard down so was always a little tense because of it! And most ppl carry their tension in the neck/shoulder/back area anyway. This sounds like what you're experiencing, just everyday tension from juggling a busy schedule, but nothing out of the ordinary! I'm not big on massages either, so when I want (or need) to relax I will take a walk, have a cup of tea, read a book, take a catnap, write in my journal, or meditate. Anything that clears your mind will help, even if it's just for a few minutes out of your day.

Ask your hubby to give you a massage :)
It could just be life in general.
I'm a SAHM of a 2y/o & 2 month old.
No crazy problems or things to stress me out, But i'm always tense.
Being a mom is a lot of work. It might just be that :)

To relax, I read books, go for a drive, take a long shower etc

Here's my immediate thoughts (from personal experience similar to yours):

1. Stress is ANYTHING, good or bad, that gets you excited (or depressed). So eustress is good stress, which most people forget about. It acts just like bad stress, destress, in the way it taxes your mind and body - elevating blood pressure, tensing muscles sometimes, changes in sleep and eating habits, etc. So broaden your perspective on stress.

2. Relaxing yourself is easier said than done. If you are already tense, having problems falling asleep, etc. then perhaps you need more help right now learning how to cue yourself to relax, loosen your muscles, etc. (My husband also thought I should just "think relaxing thoughts", but my body was already tense, causing pain/discomfort so I need to help my body relax, unknot, etc. before I could just relax my mind and body. Think of it like telling someone with the "stomach" flu, just don't think about it and have a big turkey dinner and you'll be fine.)

So take your PTs advice. View the massage as a "medical necessity", not a luxury, until your body is healed and you're out of therapy. Then maybe after you're healed you can try something relaxing JUST FOR YOU monthly - a massage, facial, yoga, etc.

3. I think we all need some time EVERY DAY to relax. Maybe it's as simple as reading before you go to bed, taking a bubble bath, going for a walk after lunch, etc. For some people, they need quiet to settle down their minds. Other people thrive off of exercise to clear their head and make their bodies physically tired. Some are a combo. Find things that help you to relax everyday. At night, make sure you "cue" your body for sleep about 2 hrs before bed. Turn down lights, volume/noises, have a routine for the last hour before bed - get on pjs, brush teeth, get settled into a comfy chair, read, then go to bed. It sounds silly, but our bodies can't just fall asleep in an instant, we need to turn off the TVs and other lights/noises to calm ourselves down.

4. Make sure that you have some "off time" for yourself every week. You need to be able to get out of "Mommy mode", "wife mode", "employee", "cooker/cleaner", etc. We all know being a mom is a 24/7 job. But I keep relearning, that being able to just be ME for a couple of hours every week, is critical to being able to decompress. I love my family, but I need some time to not BE anything for a little while except myself (remember that college girl who hardly had a care in the world?), get dinner for myself (that's not chicken nuggets), girl talking, maybe shop FOR ME without kids in tow, etc. Just being able to "check out" of life for a little while helps me to reconnect at home with a fresh, open mind.

I think many of us have a hard time spending money on ourselves thinking we're being selfish. I've really come to believe that it's just as important for us - physically and mentally - to once in awhile, just have a selfish moment. Then we don't always feel like we're ON.

If you don't have the money to spend on yourself, find some other girlfriends who just want to get together. Play Bunco, watch "chick flicks", scrapbook, etc. It doesn't have to be an expensive affair. It just has to be all about YOU for a few hours.

I think if you implement some of these ideas it will help you get back to your old self. Just remember that your body is a machine. You can't just keep taxing it daily without having it break down occasionally. If you do some "daily maintenance" for it, then the break downs will be less severe in the future. Learn to listen to your body - that means some nights go to bed at 8:30pm, some days eat more fruits and veggies, and some days, kick back and have two pieces of cheesecake!

Best wishes!

Excercise. Go run around the block a few times. If you can't run because of your ailment. Take a long walk. It will work the muscles out and makes you feel a lot better. I also like sitting with a cup of coffee and surfing the web, but after excercise and a nice shower.

I used to think I wasn't stressed either b/c the layers of stress built slowly over time. I went to the doctor for a check-up and he mentioned that I seemed distracted, was there something "going on". Well, I launched into the "not really, but here's what my life is right now" list and he looked at me and told me that he was shocked my blood pressure wasn't through the roof! Life is stressful... hire help if you can b/c that really does reduce the stress!

Our bodies adjust to "baseline" stresses and then as we add them the cortisol levels adjust. Basically we get used to the balancing act, but that doesn't mean you're not stressed. I "carry" stress in my shoulders and lower back, probably b/c I am either at a computer or in my car all day.

When I am stressed (and have time), I will pour a nice glass of wine, grab a trashy magazine and lock myself into the bathroom in the bathtub for 20-30 minutes. The combination often lets me breathe and points out the fact that I haven't stopped to take a deep breath all day!

I also really like to stretch. I run on the treadmill each night, but let's face it... not really relaxing. After my run, I turn down the lights and stretch my muscles for a good 10 minutes before heading back upstairs.

As for the massage... love them! They are pricey, but the hubs and I go together once a year. He thought he would hate it too b/c he doesn't like to be touched by strangers, but now he looks forward to it!

Schedule yourself for a short massage first to see if you like it. If you don't- less money wasted. A facial has the same effect, but I'm not a fan of that one.

I think one of the hardest things for a mother to learn is, in order to be able to take care of everyone else, you have to take care of yourself too. That means getting some excersize and some down time every now and then. A yoga class is an excellent idea. And take a long hot bath (add a cup of Epsom salts - it helps relax your muscles) (candle light, a glass of wine). Have a herbal caffeine free cup of tea, read a book. There are lots of little ways to relax. You just have to remember to work it in as often as you can.