How Do You Deal with Two Little Ones So Close in Age Along with Everything Else?

I also have 4 kids, all girls, they are almost 12,6,3,2. I work full time and my husband works long hours so it's basically just me doing everything, for everyone. Unfortunately this is really wearing me down both physically and emotionally :( and I'm starting to feel not happy. I do SO much and it's mainly my fault b/c im a neat freak and I expect way to much of myself. Just so you get an idea of what it's like for me....this is how my day went yesterday...
6am-woke up
7am-had breakfast cooked for my family of 6 PLUS 6 memebers of my hubbys family who are visiting.
715-served and cleaned after everyone
8am-sent off my husbands grandpa to the airport who has been here for the last month
830 my husbands family left to vegas
835- got kids ready for baby sitter
9am-left to work
2pm came back home, babies were napping so spent some quality time w my 6 & 12 y/o's then i cleaned up my room and living rooms/kitchen
245 babies woke up, got them all a snack
3pm- started cleaning my 6 y/o's room out, this was the room grandpa stayed in, washed all sheets, blankets, vaccummed and organized all her clothes
5pm- cleaned out baby room, organized drawers, shoes, vaccummed and washed blankets/sheets
7pm-started grocery list
730 out the door with all 4 kids to the grocery store
945pm- done picking up $300 worth of grocery, mind you this includes 6 meals for 15 people b/c the family is coming back tomorrow.
10pm picked up del taco
1015 got home and deep cleaned my refridgerator to make room for everything, while my girls ate,

my kids bedtime is 830 in the summer and 730 on school night so they went to bed suuuuper late, and ofcourse i beat myself up for that. Mind you, I did not have zumba yesterday i didnt do laundry and i didnt clean like i usually do, this was a "light day".

It's extremly hard, noone will ever understand how much we do.

oh ya i forgot to mention, tonight im taking my 3 eldest and 3 nieces to the circus, part of the family comes back tonight, the other half tomorrow..... :)

I don't have an answer for you, but I wish I did. I only have two children - a 2.5 year old and a 4 week old,but I'm starting to wonder as well how it is possible to juggle even this. I feel constantly like I am short-changing my toddler who still needs lots of love and attention and having to hold, rock, feed, etc his sister all day long. Or I'm so sleep deprived I'm snapping at him :/ It's very sad. Add household chores and soon returning to full time job, I have no idea how to manage everyone's needs, let alone my own! I hope you find peace and I hope I do too!

I'm with you in not knowing how to do it. I have a 5.5 year old and a 2.5 year old. I thought it would get easier once my daughter was old enough to interact with her older brother but that's led to the two of them either fighting or instigating mischief with one another. I have said this to a number of people over the last few years - we are in survival mode. If everyone is fed, alive, somewhat clean, and me and my husband can get to and from work to pay for our house, etc. then we had a good day/week. I wish I had a magic trick to offer an easier time. I see a counselor once a month just for an hour to re-group, etc. Your mom is very nice to come over and give you that time.

Forgive yourself. I'm sure you are doing a great job-tell your kids you love them, hug them often, and go easy on yourself. I read an article that said from baby-toddler, spending just 20 minutes a day with each kid makes all the difference as long as they have your full attention - quality, not necessarily quantity...

All you moms juggling so many things are AWESOME. You are the REAL leaders of the free world. Every single one of you deserves a plaque on the International Wall Of Incredible People.

I wish I could come to your house and wrangle with your kids for a few hours everyday so you could catch a break, and for free! I wish you all got a 6 figure salary just for being a mom. Sigh.

My kids are almost all grown now, but I remember what it was like. 24 hour a day high stress job (s).

Only words of wisdom I have for ya'll is a year is shorter when it's over than a moment is when you're in it. Soon you'll have to hunt around for a kid to hang out with.

You're a true inspiration. I applaud you!

:)

You work full-time. You have four kids. That is way more than one person should have to do. People who stay sane doing all that either make enough money to hire help or have a lot of help from family and friends. There are not enough hours in a day for one person to do everything.

Don't have good advice, just telling you what you are experiencing is normal in your situation.

I only have two but they are 17 months apart so I understand busy. My only advice is schedule schedule schedule. This will get thrown off on certain days but try to go right back to it. And if the same schedule everyday is too tough (it was for me, we were always on the go), at least plan your days the night before. That way you will know what to expect and won't get overwhelmed. And take the advice of napping them together. Use that time for what YOU need, whether it's chores or sitting and doing nothing. A few minutes just for you will make a huge difference! Good luck!

Well it is hard. My kids are exactly 2 years apart and it has it ups and downs for sure. Plus you have the added stress of two older children who have totally different needs.

First, I would say get your little one(s) back on a sleep schedule. I know that teething can throw a wrench in things, but it does not mean everything has to fall apart and you're back to square 1. Teething comes and goes, but the schedule should stay the same. Of course if your little one is up during the night b/c of tooth/gum pain then absolutely don't let them CIO, but for the most part, teething should not affect the sleep schedule drastically. Also, if you know that the little one is teething, give some medicine right before bed to help with that.

Also, make sure your 2 y/o is napping or resting at the same time as the baby...this is a HUGE sanity saver for me! My daughter is 4.5 and doesn't nap but she will go to to her room during her brother's nap time and play quietly. It gives me a break to either just breathe and relax for a minute or to crank out some much needed tasks without being interrupted. I also use this time to get dinner ready. I don't cook it but I figure out what I'm making, cut up veggies, defrost meat, put together a casserole, etc. It helps to make dinner time smoother and I can focus more on the kids and less on stressing that dinner is ready.

If you don't already, have the older two pick up another chore or two so that they can help you with some of the other stuff like unloading the dishwasher, washing machine, etc.

Some days are harder than others, that's all I can say. Sometimes my kids play together so well and others they are at each other's throats! Try and have some back up activities ready so that on those days you can whip something out or go to someplace that will help save your sanity!

Can your 2 older children, help you in some way?
With chores or entertaining the 2 year old?

What part of this does Hubby do?
Maybe, you both sit down, and revamp each of what you do per the kids and the house? Chores? Errands? Spending time w/the kids, you have a 10 month old... so you need/should be with baby because you breastfeed so then Hubby... can then take over the toddler and the older kids. But the older kids are old enough to do SOMETHING in the house too, to help....

The thing is, you cannot do it all. Nor should you have to.
So again, what part of this does Husband do..... and your older kids?
Routines have to be amended or adjusted and who does what and when.

A tired/depressed/over worked Mom.... will do no one, any good.
THUS, Husband has to realize this too. And let you take a breather.... and so you can have your own time to yourself. It is ESSENTIAL.
Talk to him, and HE has to be a part of this too. He cannot expect you... to do everything plus manage the household of 4 kids plus the daily housework and cooking.
He is an adult and a parent, too. And a Spouse, so he has to step up. And do these things. Too.

Don't worry about short changing your kids. You seem to be doing a lot and are attentive. BUT again... a tired/depressed/worn-out/over worked Mom... will do no one any good. So, the older kids and your Husband... ALL have to realize that... you ALL sit down, have a "mature" talk together, the Husband/older kids/and you... and say this.
Then, on paper or a chalk board etc., make a list of "duties" and responsibilities for EACH individual.
No Mom is Super-Woman... and Mom has to learn to relax, and everyone has to be a part of it. You are all family....

I have four kids as well (9,7,4,23mo). I am constantly juggling the kids and sport practices. This year I became a stay at home mom here in Clovis where we moved, as working out of town was taking a toll on everyone. I try not to be slightly bitter about this as it's the first time I have spent so much time with the kids. (history:I am always the one to sacrifice my job/career each time we move for my husband's job but usually find a new one right away). This summer has been an adjustment as I have all four now. To keep my sanity, I have the two lil ones in preschool/daycare that is connected thru my husbands job (m,w,f). This allows me to run errands with the older ones and plan more age appropriate activities with them. Then on tues/thur, we do things that the lil ones can do. On the weekends, my husband helps out by watching the kids if I need some me time. Also, we have found doing day trips or a short overnight (for us Monterey, San Francisco,Avila beach) has been fun experiences instead of trying to plan a long vacay. So far, it has been working out. We do travel out of state to visit our families but not very often due to time and cost. Hope this gives you some ideas. Good luck!