How Do I Stop My Almost Four-year-old from Sucking His Thumb?

Updated on October 29, 2007
H.B. asks from Tooele, UT
18 answers

My son will be four years old in December, and he still sucks his thumb! I have not tried drastic measures yet, but I feel he is getting way to old to be sucking still. He usually only sucks his thumb around bedtime, or when he is tired and sometimes if he is really nervous. We tried puting band-aids on it, so he would realize he is sucking his thumb, and that worked for a couple of days, till he decided to just take it off. Then, we have recently tried to bribe him. We told him he could have a specific toy at the store if he stops sucking his thumb. Obviously, his desire is not very strong, but I don't know how else to convince him. we tried the "yucky" stuff that you buy at wal-mart to put on it, but he aparently didn't find it yucky at all, he just sucked away. Please let me know if you have any suggestions!
-H.

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T.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I sucked my finger until I was 10 years old and only did it when I was tired, mainly at night. I wouldn't sweat it, it is just his comfort and he will stop when he is ready. I didn't need therapy because I did this so late!

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J.M.

answers from Des Moines on

Evidentally, I sucked my thumb, and my mom said they tried vaseline. I don't remember anything specific about breaking the habit though. But as he gets older he isn't going to want to go to camp or sleepovers doing it.

i don't know if they make them anymore, but i'd heard about some glove-like things that are like long arm mitts that have a tie string on the top end. After you put them on, someone ties them across the person's back. It's just like wearing really long mittens. you could probably recreate the same thing with a pair of long socks & sewing ties to the top.

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Well, I certainly have differing opinions from Aimee...we are a structured family, but a lot less rigid. Some babies need to suck and denying that is just pointless, but I don't think that was even your question. I, too, have a 3.5 year old thumbsucker who needs to break the habit. I find that bribery doesn't work b/c it has developed into a habit, meaning that they don't even realize they are doing it. My son sucks when he is tired or hungry. The 'polish' works for us, but it's temporary and the taste must wear off after a short time. I have seen a gadget in a catalog (one step ahead, maybe) that actually attaches over their thumb and has to be removed by a grown up. It allows air around the thumb so the gratification is taken away when they suck on it. I have no idea how well it works or if it is hard to use.

Other than that I can only say good luck! I'll be curious to hear if anybody has any creative ideas that work!

~L.

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K.S.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi my name is K.

I am a mom of 6 ages, 10,10,17,18,19,21 and 2 grandbabies, My 10 year old twin boy is a thumb sucker, now that he is older, he only does it at bedtime, do not scold your child at all for sucking their thumb. we have tried everything! even a device from the dentist that goes in the roof of the mouth that pokes the finger and that didn't even work, he would just put his thumb in the side of his mouth. he also looks as if he will need braces too, there is not much you can do, the more you make a big deal out of it, the more they do it. I also have a cousin that is 35 years old and he will suck his finger only around imediate family that he is comfortable around, it is a habbitt. So all I can say is this is your child, love him/her unconditionaly, that is what a good parent does, good luck

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L.C.

answers from Des Moines on

I have not had this situation come up with my child, but my sister sucked her thumb until she was 11!!!!! My parents tried everything to get her to quit, and she still sucked it. IT was a terrible habit, but I think my parents did not pay much attention b/c she was the baby and she very much so liked being treated like that, and I personally don't think they wanted her to grow up! I decided at the age of 16 I would help her quit since I felt it was a problem. I went to walgreens and bought a product called thumbs-it, I believe. It tasted TERRIBLE and I put it on both of her thumbs. I explained that it tasted bad and if she put her thumb in her mouth, she would not like it. With that, I explained that only babies should suck on their fingers, etc. She decided that she was too old as well, but the thumbs-it really helped b/c even if she did slip up, it only took a few times tasting that stuff for her to quit. She stopped sucking it within 2 weeks. I know she was older at the time, but maybe this will help with your 4 year old??

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J.B.

answers from Lincoln on

I wouldn't worry about it. My son is over 4 years old and still sucks his thumb at night. I talked with his dentist and he said not to worry about it. He told me most kids will out grow it and not to worry about it until his permanent teeth come in. If he is still sucking his thumb then we will work to stop it. If you see him doing it during the day just remind him that is yucky or give him something to do with his hands.

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M.M.

answers from Saginaw on

I wouldn't worry about it. My parents tried to stop me too. They had the dentist put the metal things that come off a retainer to get me to quit. I broke the metal pieces off. I wouldn't worry about it at night. Why do u want to take the comfort zone away? We all need our comfort zone and if this is his then i think it should be ok. I quit sucking my thumb at 14. I only did it at night though. I think if you tell him its only for nap time or nightime then it should be ok. I think he will eventually quit on his own. I know i did. But I use to have to have satin when i sucked my thumb and now as an adult, i still will rub on satin if its available to me. I will do it without relizing it. My husband & daughter laugh at me cause they know why I am doing it. Actually my oldest daughter picked up the habit of rubbing satin. Neither one of my girls sucked their thumb or had pacifiers but my oldest loves satin too. Good luck and Dont sweat it.

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R.R.

answers from Kalamazoo on

he will stop when he is ready. this can seem like silly advise but its the truth, i stopped when i was ready on yeh i used to suck my thumb all the time not just at bed time. my daughter stopped when she was ready but hers wasnt her thumb it was a pacifire. i was told not to worry about it by 3 people. her dr. he said she was eating enough so dont worry. he dm. he said her teeth were fine so dont worry. and then last the most important one my grandmother who raised her 5 kids and her grandkids and adopted some kids after the grandkids (me) were grown and is now helping with her great grand kids and is thinking about adopting some more after her last son is in collage. she said they stop when they are ready every thing you do to make them stop just makes you feel better, they will do it untill they are done. got to love grandma. she lays it out like it is.

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A.R.

answers from Omaha on

In general I keep to the simple rule that if I have to take it away later, why allow it to start with. No pacifiers or thumb sucking has ever been allowed. I also never did nightlights. No toys were allowed to leave the house unless it was a long car ride and then they only went into the van never into a store or rest. My son has a stuffed dog that he loves but he has never been allowed to carry everywhere with him. If you have tried most everything but the drastic then maybe you just need to constantly pull his thumb out of his mouth and remind him that he is getting older and will be going to school soon. He'll need both hands to do all kinds of things. If it is only happening at night then there is no way you can sit by him all night to make sure the thumb doesn't stray. Even when he is sound asleep it will still happen. I don't see a problem with him doing it to sleep, once he stops during the day then the night time should follow. The worst thing I have ever tasted is nail polish remover. Even after I wash my hands they still smell like it and I refuse to eat finger foods! What about drawing a little man on the tip of his thumb? He wouldn't wanna eat a little man would he?

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M.H.

answers from Omaha on

I have a 3 yo son. We tried all the oinments, I bought a thumb guard nothing worked.

Finally, I decided to wrap his hands (he sucks both thumbs) with a wash cloth (so he can't get to his fingers) and then tie it at the wrist with shoe laces (we double knot cuz he knows how to untie laces). Obivously, don't tie it too tight.

We did this for 2 weeks and then HE decided he wanted to do it at daycare and now we're working on it there too, but we waited til he was ready for this step.

Good luck.

M. H.

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L.B.

answers from Sioux Falls on

My 3 yr old was a pacifer baby. She used it until she was over 2, because she was suppose to have surgery that summer and we were having a baby too. She finally gave up her pacifer and seemed ok with it. 9 months later, when she started preschool, she started sucking her thumb. So we made a deal, she can only do it when she is in her bed. What I told her is that its fine sucking her thumb, but I dont want to see it. She can do it all she wants in her own bed. Its working fine right now. If she feels she really needs to suck her thumb, she goes down to her bed and lays on it. I hope this helps some. Good Luck!

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J.W.

answers from Fargo on

Maybe I have too cavalier an attitude about it, but I wouldn't bother. Even if you get him to stop doing it around you, I have a feeling he will still do it alone. I was a hardcore thumby for more years than most moms would be comfy with and will admit to still resorting to it in tough moments (alone of course, I refrain from doing it when crabby at the grocery store! ;-)) My son didn't suck his thumb but my new daughter is a thumbsucker and I figure it's a great thing that she can comfort herself. When they are ready, they will stop. Maybe you should think about whether or not it is worth the struggle and why.

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C.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

We went through this with my daughter. I tried taking away her lovie (blanket) as that was associated with the thumb sucking, but that was too mean to mean. It did work, but she was really sad. The bribing worked. We used positive reinforcement in little steps. Don't suck during story, don't suck for 5 minutes, don't suck for 10 minutes. We found what she REALLY wanted - to go ice skating. We made a chart and put stickers on it and she kicked the habit right away - never went back. Good luck and stay on top of it.

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V.A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have a son who turned 3 in Sept. who won't give up his thumb either. He has two new bothers (twins- 4 months) and i remind him that he is a big boy now but he could care less about that right now!!!
His grandpa plays a little game with him- any time my dad sees Adi sucking his thumb my dad asks Adi 'where does that thumb belong?' and they both put their thumbs on their forhead and wave their fingers in the air. Silly I know- but It has given us a way to tell him not to suck his thumb with out actually coming out and saying stop. When you tell some one NO- it makes them want to do it even more, ya know?!?
It has seemed to work. I know that my son still sucks him thumb at night, but that is more unconsiously. During the day he has gotten alot better at not sucking it.
Hope this helps- take it for what it's worth. if you find something that really works for you, will you let us all know!?!
-V.

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B.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

We tried everthing with our son he is 39 and still sucks his thumb he dont even relize he is doing it so if you fid something let me know

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J.H.

answers from Appleton on

my 33 year old sister still sucks her thumb. my mom tried EVERYTHING! Good luck

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S.T.

answers from Saginaw on

My 7yr old daughter has sucked her thumb since she was 4mos old. She only does it while watching tv or when she first falls asleep. You know she's really asleep when if falls out...it was kind of funny when she was littler. I talked with her dentist and he doesn't have much concern about her teeth alignment since she does it rather infrequently. I was hoping that peer pressure would ease her out of it, but that hasn't worked. The way I look at it, if the worst thing she does is suck her thumb then I am still one heck of a proud Mom. Save the worrying for the big stuff in the future..gosh knows most parents end up laughing about the stuff they used to make a big deal out of when their kids were younger.
As far as your line of work selling paintings, check out my business listing...it may be something to supplement your current business and help it grow! Or, email me at ____@____.com and I'll give you some more information.

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J.S.

answers from Madison on

He obviously is sucking his thimb for comfort, at bed time, tired, nervous. Its a comfort thing. Have you tried giving him a stuffed animal to hold onto? when he starts sucking his thumb, maybe try telling him big boys dont suck their thumbs, baby boys do. If it were me and I felt as strongly as you do for him to stop, every time he popeed his thumb into his mouth I would pull it out! Or tell him to! If its that big of a deal; which it can be at 4 yrs of age, he may develop teeth problems; I would make consequences for him if he didnt listen to you about stopping. Remember though ot has become a habit for him, so it will be hard to break. Have you asked your pediatrician for any pointers? I hope this can be of a little asst. I never had to deal w/ the thumb sucking, my girls were pacifier babies, they loved the nuk! I had to hide them, throw them away, and they still will find one somewhere, I swear they stashed 'em! Well good luck to you and God Bless
J.

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