How Do I Get Out of Going Without Him Being Mad at Me?

Updated on October 15, 2011
G.D. asks from Madison, WI
19 answers

My hubby and I supposed to go to this party tommorrow. He is really excited about it and have been looking forward to it for like a month. BUT my hair is in a mess, my brows are not done and I dont have anything to wear He dont understand that women like to look good when we go out. He dont care how I look, he love me regardless, which is sweet but not at times like this. It seems like he always plan to go places when Im unprepared. How do I get out of it without him being mad at me? It is not in our budget this week for the salon and shopping. The last time this happened, I pretended to be sick. LOL. I know, thats wrong and sad.

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So What Happened?

Boy..you guys sure know how to make a chic feel guilty. But you all were sooo right. After reading your responses I had a change of heart. I went to the party and I had a blast! I'm glad I went and I have you ladies to thank for it. I put on a wig, lol. My head was hot as H E double hockey sticks. LOL! And I dressed up a pair of skinny jeans with heels, cute top and some accessories with a matching bag. I didnt tweeze my brows because I dont know how and if you mess up your brows, you basically mess up your whole entire face. lol. Thanks Ladies!

Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't get it, you had a month, you wait till now? I am more than able to make myself presentable with what I have in the house. Maybe not runway perfect but more than acceptable.

Do you have a disorder that you do not enjoy crowds or something but this just doesn't make sense?

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Girl - you need to go! You have known about this for one month - therefore you SHOULD have budgeted the salon and everything else...you accepted. The host IS expecting you and planned her food on YOUR being there.

Pull your hair back in a tight bun (look at what Fergie did to her hair for Clinton's birthday party).

If you don't like that - try a hat or a wig.
Get a pair of tweezers and start plucking.

You don't have to buy a new dress for a party - that's an excuse - if you didn't want to go - you should NOT have accepted the invitation. What you are doing is using lame excuses for not going to a party. To be honest, you sound like a prima-donna, high maintenance W..

You have stated that HE does NOT care what you wear. So get your butt to your closet and start looking through it. I'm SURE you have a ton of clothes and will find something in there.

The next thing you need to do is adjust your attitude. You lied to your man - pretending to be sick when you are not is LYING. Sorry - but you are an adult now and need to stop thinking that everything must be perfect. Life isn't perfect. Take chances. Stop making excuses. Get your butt in gear and GO - with a smile on your face and not a concern in the world.

12 moms found this helpful

D.R.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Sooo... I have not read the other replies yet but I bet they all say... How can you say that you are not prepared? You have had at least a month to get your rear in gear. You have all day to pluck your brows, wash your hair and dig through your closet. You have already flaked on him once and he sounds like a keeper... he loves you regardless... He doesn't care what you look like, he just wants you by his side. My first husband died very early and I look back now and think what I could have done that wouldn't have killed me or places that I could have gone that he wanted to... my hind sight is 20/20... you still have time honey...Get your butt going and report back to us the fun time you had at that party!
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lol... I just went and scrolled down and oh my gosh was I right or what? EVERYONE has called you out on the carpet about the month you have had to prepare and I love how they pointed out not everyone has the luxury of going to a salon or buying a new outfit. I agree... borrow an outfit from a friend if you have to... but please go!!! We want a report back... that you had a great time and made your hubby proud. You said it yourself... not going would be wrong and sad!

9 moms found this helpful

L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Like the others said, you had a month to prepare for this and now you are trying to get out of it with this lame excuse? There is obviously more to the story. Or you really are that shallow. Do your own hair, pluck your own brows, paint your own nails and find something in your closet. Make it work. You can do this if you really wanted to. So using the excuse of not being able to afford to have someone else do all that for you, doesn't hold up. Like someone else said, this isn't about you. Do this for your husband. And try to have fun.

8 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Get yourself some tweezers, pluck your eyebrows yourself, take a shower and style your hair with a bit of gel, and wear something that makes you feel less like a housewife or wife or mother or woman at home and go have some fun.

7 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Seattle on

You sound so high maintenance. Your man wants to go out and spend time with you. Do your own hair or have a girl friend come over and do it for you. Pick something decent from your own closet and go with him. I mean if you are constantly looking for a way to not be seen with him then maybe you need to take some time and build up your self esteem. You have a man who loves you and wants you on his arm. Suck it up and go have some fun. You could have a man that doesn't want to spend time with you. Don't take what you have for granted.

7 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You have a whole day, so why can't you do your hair and tweeze your brows? I'm sure you have something in your closet. Just get out and go have fun. You're more concerned with how you look than other people are.

6 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Dover on

Do you have girlfriends?! That's what they are for, honey! Times like these is when you call up your girls (or your mom or aunt or sisters or someone you know well at work in a social way, any girl you trust not to turn you into a clown) and tell them you have a fashion emergency. Tell them you need help with your eyebrows and some creative hair solutions and do they have something you can barrow so you don't go out looking like a "mom" but more like a "hot wife".

My girls would come through for me in spades! More than one time they have helped me get it together at the last minute. OH! And it was TONS of fun. We had a glass of wine, listened to good music and pretty much ended up making each other over.

You might be suprised at how much you will LIKE getting out of the house. I get so stuck in my routine that I don't even realize how much I need to cut loose until after I am already there and having fun. Then I am so glad I went out.

See if you have some chicks you can call to do some emergency intervention for you and go, girl!

6 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

For a month you've known about this...too bad. This is a you have to go at this point. To fake being sick to not go?

What is the real reason you don't want to go to these functions? It has nothing to do with what to wear, hair, eyebrows. There is something you either don't like about the people going, something makes you uncomfortable...

This isn't about you at this point, this about your husband.

Unfortunately, since you previously got out of something before...he is going to be upset. You are implying to him that you don't want to go out with him, you don't like his friends....

Good luck and get up and get moving you have time to pluck. Find a scarf in your closet, dress up a black shirt and (jeans, pants) wear something you haven't work in 6 months and rock his world.

6 moms found this helpful

S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

If he's been excited about it for a month, then it's not like he's sprung it on you. I'd say you ought to get up early, watch some youtube videos on doing your own brows, do your own hair and find something in your closet.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

You don't. You have known for over a month about this event. You should have been planning and looking in the closet from the first time he mentioned it and had written it on the calendar. After that you should have gone through your closet after looking in a magazine at what the stars are wearing and created an outfit. It doesn't take much to spruce of a pair of jeans or a nice pair of capris of something and find a top you haven't worn in a while. Learn how to do your own eyebrows and hair since the budget(s) won't allow this. Be practical and frugal.

I can't think of how many times I wished I could have someone do these things for me but I just learned how and now I have only person to blame if my hair doesn't look right ME.

What you are doing is telling your husband that you don't want to be around him or with him when he wants to go out. If you don't put your butt in gear and do man/woman things he WILL find someone else to share them with. You don't keep a marriage together by staying home you have to get out and be an adult not mommy full of dribbled on clothes and barefeet.

Sorry it time to be a woman again. Remember you were a woman, wife and mother in that order. Work on your marriage and be a woman and wife again. You will be surprised at how thing will change around. He may even start helping you more at home with kids and "honey dos." Got to think outside the box.

You live in a big city. Do check Goodwill if you have to find something in the closet. I bet these people don't know what is in your closet. Just make yourself look good. Trim the wild brow hairs, get the curling iron out and wrap a few strands around it near the face to soften your look. Put on a little makeup and perfume and call it a night and enjoy yourselves.

The other S.

PS He does understand that women like to look good when we go out. It is just how you go about it.

5 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Go anyways. Tweeze your eyebrows, easy. Plenty of youtube tutorials on how to do it. Put your hair up in a cute, messy bun or something. There is always something to wear, just be creative.. or go to Goodwill or Plato's Closet, you might find something really cute and affordable. I'm a hairstylist, and so I say just google hair ideas or look through hair magazines. Any style is in right now. Really, he has been planning this for a month.. so you had plenty of time to prepare! You would be so sad and disappointed if you were looking forward to an event, and he refused to go b/c he hadn't shaved or ironed his pants or something. Plus,. you have bailed on him once already.. common girl, beauty up and have fun, be a little less selfish! You don't need to go and spend money to do it.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

I think that you SHOULD go. You shouldn't be so concerned about your appearance that it prevents you from going to something that's so important to him! Put him first - you already pretended to be sick last time.

Of course you have SOMETHING to wear. You don't need to go to a salon to get your hair and brows done! If it needs a cut either go to a beauty school, Great Clips or pull it back with some cut barrettes or a headband. As for your brows, you can easily pluck away any unruly hairs and make due.

Just because your budget is tight doesn't mean you should sit at home and disappoint him! Put your self image second to your husband - besides he already thinks you're beautiful, isn't that what's most important?

5 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Go! It is something he really wants to do and you cancelled the last time.

Pluck the brows pin up your hair and wear something wonderful from your own collection...

This next week my husband and I will celebrate 30 years together. We make sure to keep each other happy. This is your time, to make your husband happy. He must love you very much to want to take you out and show you off.. Please him. And have fun..

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Sounds like you need to grow up. You have had, like, a month to prepare. Not all women need to go to the salon, just to show up at a party, or go buy a new outfit. Take a shower before you go, and put on something pretty in your closet that you already have. Don't disappoint your husband like you did last time.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Well, you've known about this for a month.

I just attended a high-falutin baby shower. I didn't go to the salon, get my hair/nails/brows done.
I'm sure you can look presentable without all of that and a new outfit to wear.
It might be nice to have the time and money to do all of that before attending an event, but I don't think you should miss a party or pretend to be sick because you didn't.

Go with your husband. Hold your head up. Have a great time,.

3 moms found this helpful

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Don't you own a nice hat? Wear a hat to the party and forget your hair. Go get a book on the Enneogram. Margaret Fringes Keyes wrote a good one. You sound like a Two. You have to get yourself out of this mess you are in about appearances.
My cousin when invited to an audience with the Queen of Great Britain did not go because she didn't have a decent hat to wear. We always thought she was a nut job not to have gone. The Queen meets thousands of people and would not have cared if the hat wasn't perfect. Our cousin could have been at a very fine dinner that night.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Honey, you had a month- sorry, but you need to suck it up and be a "wo-man". Go to a consignment shop or two, or Marshalls, or Ross dress for less. Or ransack your closet and play dress up - be creative and see what you can put together. Call your girlfriends like Lisa C said and make a party out of it.

And go to Supercuts for a style and eyebrow wax. I go there for both, and you can have a nice cut and brow wax for less thant $25.00. Honestly, unless you have super-huge old man brows, no-one will notice or care.

No one will notice your brows or care - only we do.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.E.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with others that if you knew about this a month ago then why wait til now? ....I WISH MY HUSBAND LIKED GOING TO GATHERINGS! Hahaha! Even in 1 day you could have gotten yourself together.

1 mom found this helpful
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