Hitting, Talking Back and Annoying or Starting It.

Hello Maybe if the x chart worked before maybe they just need some insentive! For instance make it a group thing so they have to work together for a reward they all want I.E. Pizza on friday or ice cream on sunday! If the group goes through the week with only 3 x's then they get the prize! Maybe having to work toghether will cut down on the teasing and hitting and get the older ones to help you out!! It also sounds like you need a few hours on hubby's day off to your self let him get some QT with the kids by himself since he works so much and it will give you your much needed break! Hope it gets better for you, M.

Sometimes you have to repeat behavior back to kids. Like your 10 year old talks to you like shes grown. But I am sure when she wants to do something she pretends be all sweet and innocent. With her you tell her no. Tell her if she wants something then she needs to be respectful at all times. With the 8 year old, as mean as this sounds tease her back. She will realize how others feel when she makes fun of them. The same goes for the 6 year old. Let him see how it feels to be hit and have someone throw a temper tantrum. This has seem to work for many people I know. My friend is also a mother of 3. Everytime she would take her kids out somewhere, they would act a fool and run wild. Well one day she was fed up with the mess and started carrying on like they did. They were so embarrassed, they don't do it anymore. It is now 2 years ago she has done this. They know hey, its not cool hit, scream, yell and so on. Hope this helps. Keep us posted.

Sounds like the 6-year-old doesn't need to be "rewarded" by watching TV anymore. Also remember no discipline rules stick until you've disciplined yourself enough to be able to bare down and follow through with each child.

But choose your battles wisely--the 6-year-old needs to stop hitting, the 10-year-old to stop talking back, and the 8-year-old to stop picking fights and being so emotional. Focus on those things first--you don't have to discipline for every mis-step or little flare-up right away, but any of those things must be taken care of. Just don't overwhelm yourself.

If they're coming home from school in bad moods, make that first half-hour or hour home really special. Watch a favorite TV show together, have a cool snack waiting for them, or take them someplace special. School really sucks, right? Give them some time to detox.

If you're not already regulating your 8-year-old's diet, try that, too. My sister's daughter has an allergy to red dye, and it causes behavioral problems for her, not physical ones. She's a totally different person once she's had something with red dye in it. If the problems stem from an allergy or hormonal issue, nothing you do to discipline will work, because chances are they don't even realize what they're doing is wrong until they're in the middle of a conflict.

Take some special time with your 10-year-old, perhaps one night a week let him/her stay up later than the other kids and hang out with you. Develop that relationship right now and it'll be the bright spot of your day when your other kids hit their tweens.

Above all else, take care of yourself. It says you're a sahm, so take those first few hours of the day to do your housework, and then do stuff for you. And make sure you get out of the house on your own terms, to do something you enjoy, at least once a week. Go to Starbucks and read a book, head to the mall to browse--anything that's inexpensive and all about you needs to be worked in.

Take care and we're rooting for you.

Doesn't sound unlike my house most of the time! My 13 yr old and 9 yr old fight constantly but it seems to be getting less than it used to be. Not sure about the hitting, think they all do that but I don't like it and don't tolerate it. Usually send them to their rooms or at least separate them. If that doesn't work, when they want something, I'll say "remember when..." or next time you want something the treatment will be reversed. It's hard to do but the one thing that I would not put up with is the disrespect! I think there is too much of that and if they disrespect you, they will eventually disrespect their peers, teachers and maybe even their bosses someday. I even took my 13 yr old to a psychologist years ago and believe the outbursts were a lot to do with his adhd, they are impulsive kids. Hope I helped a little bit. Have a great weekend.