Helping Yourself Feel Better

Updated on December 14, 2012
H.W. asks from Portland, OR
13 answers

After reading about too many bad things happening, I have been teary for the last half hour.
Now I have to go pull myself together because I have to pick up my own sweet kindergartener in an hour. My heart hurts like crazy, but he can't have a mess for a mom.

And because my husband is already getting a bad cold and is upset about the shootings in Conneticut (and here, earlier this week--and he's from Conneticut too), I am going to walk to the video store and get a really stupid movie for tonight. Something we can laugh at.
The walk will do me good,and I think I'm gonna stop at the local pizza joint and get some takeout for us for a surprise lunch. I am trying to banish the darkness with a little light. Not denial, just acceptance and trying to keep us from getting into a depressed space.

When things get you down-- things you have absolutely no control of--how do you pull yourself out of that dark place? I think this is something many of us are needing right now, and an extra big hug to all of you.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

So many good answers.
Some things I saw on my walk:
Friendly faces at the video rental place with good recommendations
A church sign which read "Dare to Hope"
A clump of bloomed out shasta daisies from last summer, not deadheaded as they should have been, growing new seedlings from the pollinated, blackened and rotting flowerheads. What a miracle!
A poetry kiosk in someone's front yard, it read:
"I asked her why she never told us about the Ten Commandments & she said she wasn't ever that good with numbers so she loved everything as best she could & I remember thinking who needs all those rules anyway with a mother like her around.”

Good stuff. There is richness if we choose to look for it.

Featured Answers

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I realize that I don't have any control of it, so I morn and move on........:(
The new Ice Age movie is cute.
And when all else fails, I LOVE AFV (Americas Funniest Videos). Never fails to make me laugh!

5 moms found this helpful

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S.T.

answers from New York on

I know God is bigger than any awful thing that happens on this swirly blue planet. Evil exists in our world and people believe lies that work the way into their minds - they being to believe the lies. There's a verse in the Bible that says "...whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you". In other words we do have some control of the things we think about. We can keep our eyes on the TV and think about the horror - or we can direct our thoughts to the good things that take place every day in our world. There are poor - but there are groups that go out of their way to provide food, shelter & clothing to them. There are victims of violence - and there are police officers and the justice system to protect us as is possible. The horror of this day is that there are families who will have to bury thier little children - and that's a pain that I can't imagine. I have friends who've had to bury thier child, one who had to bury her only child. It's unimaginable grief. But there's a loving God who already has those little ones in His arms and they are not in pain - even though they are sorely missed by their families.

Christ overcame evil and death. He conquered it all. We know there's evil, but the good far outweighs the evil and we have to choose to direct our minds to think on those things.

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

Thanks for posting, and I hope you can find a reason to smile today. I've been so emotional since we heard, and I don't even want to look at the tv. Heartbroken for Oregon and Connecticut.

I tend to pray a lot, and ask God for comfort for all of us- especially those affected. But I realize for my own sanity, and the sake of my family, I need to be strong and move forward. And to shake off the sadness, funny movies and silly games are just right. You said it just right- not denying the awful things that happen, but trying to accept them while carrying on.

I think we'll all be doing that today. Thanks for posting this.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Reno on

I find it amazing (for lack of a better word) how many of us (parents in particular) are so emotional about this. I can't stop the tears from falling! We see so many tragedies occur these days, but when little ones are involved, it makes it just... well, hit home, I guess. My little guy (4 1/2 yrs.) overheard the news and asked what happened at that school. I told him briefly that a bad person went in and hurt a bunch of people. :( Bless his heart, he just said, "Oh, that's sad... Can I go on Nick Jr.?" The innocence is something I wish I still had.

You're a good momma, and I like your idea of a silly movie. I'm going to follow your suit!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

I try to go and find something that will make me laugh. Or I'll text a friend of mine and tell them to tell me something funny or even stupid so that way I can get a good laugh. If nothing else can make me laugh or feel better I just hold my son tight and that makes me get out of my dark place.

3 moms found this helpful

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

Oh H., isn't it horrible.

I cried so hard reading the story of Sandy Hook. I can't even process it.

There's been so much violence in my small town this past week. Really tragic stuff.

I don't have any words of wisdom.

But thanks for your post, and for keepin' it real.

Hugs.

3 moms found this helpful

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

A funny movie is exactly what the doctor ordered.

A good run, then a hot shower, then a glass of wine and a comedy on the TV while cuddling with the kiddos. It doesn't get any better than that!

3 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

May I suggest Date Night, or The Other Guys? My husband and I both watched those movies recently, and had a great time laughing.

I always have a deep need to create, when I get upset. In fact, I have a stack of fabric scraps that I have a great idea for. I can kind of get lost in making things, that always really helps me. Of course, laughter helps. Being alive another day to hold my son and see my husband walk through the door again. I hope you feel better soon.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Back at you-and thank you-been crying since 12:30. If you can find "What About Bob?" -that might help.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Thanks for your SWH, H.. I can't answer your question right now at all, except to say that I came on here to see my "friends" hoping to feel better. Sigh...

2 moms found this helpful
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J.R.

answers from Knoxville on

I understand how you are feeling. This news just hits so hard. I can't even imagine what those families are going through. I am not planning on talking to my kids about it, unless they ask. They are 7 and 8 years old. But, I have been watching the news while they are playing-it is heart-wrenching. We must go on and not let these crazy people have us all scared to live our lives. But it is hard. Watching a funny movie sounds like a good idea. Good luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, all we can do is all we can do.
We'll go on tonight "business as usual" for the most part.
We'll discuss this with our son--on an appropriate level.
And I'll continue to vote for gun control advocating candidates.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My kids are older, so I'm going to wallow in sadness for a while. I'll let them see me cry and see how upset this makes me. If mom's crying, it must be bad, right? And this is...it's really bad, as bad as something can get. They're old enough to understand how awful this is.

My kids are all healthy and ALIVE. I can't imagine the grief those parents in CT are feeling right now. The least I can do is join them, for a little while, in despair. So no cheering up for me, at least for today.

Hugs right back to all of you.

1 mom found this helpful
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