Help with Discipline - Melrose,FL

Oh My Goodness, my son is doing almost the same thing. He has an attitude problem. He doesn't throw things, but he NEEDS attention 24/7 negative or positive it doesn't seem to matter. I've tried dicipline by time out, taking toys away, etc.... He really doesn't seem to care. He goes to time out, but his behavior doesn't change. He has been this way for a year now and he has a 2 year old sister. They behavior is worse when it's just the 3 of us or when family or friends are over. I made a sticker chart which coincided with a new toy if he followed the rules and got enough stickers. That didn't work for longer than a week. You just need to find that ONE special thing he likes and give it to him when he behaves. My son started kindergarten last week. He really wants me or my husband to eat with him one day in the cafeteria. So far it's working. He gets his last sticker tomorrow and we are meeting him for lunch on Friday.

Good Luck!

My daughter is a lot younger but she is doing the same thing since the baby came. She does anything possible to get into trouble. She gets attention that way, even though it is bad attention it is attention. I have to pick her up and put her in time out etc. The best thing to do is ignore it, not respond at all. Don't give him a look or anything. Once he realizes he isn't getting any attention for it he should stop. Try to include him more with the baby. Have him rock her, help change her or entertain her while you cook. At his age he can be a big help and he should like the attention he gets when he helps you out. He has had you all to himself for 5 yrs, so it must be hard and scarry to loss that time with mommy. Another thing that works is redirection. If my daughter is going to do something she shouldn't I ask her to do something for me and normally she will stop and help out. You have to think about how to respond. Spanking is giving him attention from you, so that wont work. When he throws something or looks like he is going to redirect him and ask him to grab a bottle for you or something and it should distract him from that behavior. Give him lots of attention for good behavior, instead of giving him negative attention for bad behavior. This should help him want to be good to get attention. I always praise my daughter for playing nice with her sister or helping me with something. It makes her feel special and important. It is hard with a baby because everyone is goggling over the baby, she is so small and cute etc. Make sure he gets nice compliments as well. If someone says the baby is so cute or well behaved then you say yes and her big brother is such a big helper too. Sometimes people don't realize they are not paying as much attention to the older sibling as the new baby. I have seen it happen with our family so you make sure you include him. Take time out for him. Take him to wet n wild just the two of you or have a special day for you two. It is hard but you need to remember he is doing this for attention and make sure whatever approach you take it is not giving him that attention. Good luck!

With our oldest, when his little brother started walking and moving about was when he really started getting into trouble. So I tried everything that you did too and it wouldn't work. But we did eventually find something that worked... Zach has a blanket that he LOVES. If he hurts the baby, the blanket goes on a shelf for several hours in "time out". If yours doesn't have a "blankie" or something he is very attached to, try his favorite toy or outside time. The other thing that helped the most is that instead of me trying to make special mommy and zach time, he did much better if he had special daddy and zach time. I didn't really think it would work but it has worked better than anything else. And now we can tell if he hasn't had enough time with daddy because he starts acting out. So every night after bathtime, we set the timer and daddy and zach spend about 30 minutes doing whatever - usually playing cars on the kitchen floor, then daddy takes him to bed and reads him a story. Hope something works for you soon!
Jen

Try this

When it is time to give the baby a bath ask him if he would like to help you and let him do most of it, but not on her face and privates. when he is helping you tell him how thankful you are that he is helping you and that you really need his help.

When it is time to dress the baby ask him to help you, put two outfits on the floor and ask him to please chose the one that he likes the most and then ask him to please help you dress the baby.

Ask him to please help you feed the baby.

Ask him to plaese hold her and tell him that she said that she wants her big brother to sing the ABC song to her.

AND SO ON.

Include him in everything that you need to do with the baby when he is around. HE NEEDS MOMMY TO WANT HIM AND HE NEEDS TO FEEL WANTED.

Say things to him like this.
" Your baby sister is ready to play with her Big Brother" and then give him a toy to play with-- WITH THE BABY.

Never leave him alone with the baby, if he is not happy with the baby he might try to hurt her.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Mrs. S

I can totally relate. My oldest is 6 now. When we started school last year we had just had our second child. William never had to wait for anything, and he always had our attention. It was hard at first but we gave him choices. We would give him a chance to redeem himself. Like if he yelled at us.-----Would you like to try again, or would you like to sit in times out?-----This way he didn't feel like he was always in trouble. Anddddddd, it helped him learn to make a better choice. I know its hard. Make sure you still do his routine the same also. If you read together at night keep that up. Oh, also try to have him help out with the baby too. This made William feel more closer to the baby, and more like a big brother.
hope it helps!!!

It really is hard to discipline one child when you have an infant that is so demanding.

Have you tried taking away his toys, TV, video games? If my son is cranky then that means he'll be getting to bed earlier than the night before. Maybe your son isn't resting well due to the new baby...

Just think, it could be worse!

See if your son would like to help you with the baby. Give him some big brother responsibilities! Have him interact or read to her, even if he can't read all by himself. It will give him the feeling of accomplishment and he'll feel good about helping out with his little sister.

Give him some special tasks to do that helps with the baby> Also, try rewarding the good behavior with special "presents". Have a grab bag with some inexpensive items, our coupons to go for an ice cream or something. If he behaves (make sure he knows what behaviors your're looking for) for the afternoon, he can go pick a prize. Or break it down to: If no throwing this afternoon, he can get a prize.

You will also enjoy:

http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=29Qhmp...

K.

Well I am going to suggest positive reinforcement. Where any little thing you see him do praise him right away. Maybe set a reward system up where he can see the results as well. Ignoring the negative behavior as much as possible and what ever the problem only give 1 warning then punishment. It takes time and he may be going through a rough spot. Good Luck!

L.