Help with 4 Week Old!

Updated on June 08, 2010
T.I. asks from Denver, CO
14 answers

HI! Okay ladies, i need help again! This time for a really good friend!
My friend has a 2 yr old boy and 4 week old baby girl. Her son was by the book, super easy, contented baby! Baby girl is a diff story!
She is four weeks old and weighs 11 lbs. During the day she will go for 3 hours between feeds but at night wants to eat every 2 hours?!
She is also having a hard time because she won't let her put her down at all.. She has tried the swing and bouncy chair. She ultimately gives in esp if it's during her son's nap time. The minute she picks her up she stops fussing.
Any and all advice would be great and i will pass it along... Thank you so much.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Tell her to wear that baby. She's still so little and needs to be near Mom. Just because she seems clingy now doesn't mean she'll be that way forever. Give her what she needs now and she may grow out of the super clingy stage. Good Luck!

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Tell her to google 4th trimester! All baby's behaviors will make perfect sense and she will know exactly what to do. Baby is still getting used to this great big world and wants/needs/craves the comforts of the womb. A good convertible sling/wrap is a great option-mayawrap, moby, etc

Wanted to edit to add-NO rice cereal in the bottle-EVER! This should only be done under a doctor's care and for cases of severe reflux!

If she is nursing she does not want to supplement with formula unless she doesn't want to continue nursing. As soon as you add in formula your milk supply decreases-not what you want at 4 weeks old.

This baby should NOT be left to cry at 4 weeks old! You can not stretch out their feedings, you can not expect them to sleep for long stretches, you can not expect them to self-soothe. Parenting does not stop at night!

I'm sorry I had to add that stuff but it just makes me crazy when it is suggested that little ones so young can tough it out or get spoiled. Sorry.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

Some babies do just seem to crave more cuddle time than others, has she tried swaddling or the sling type carrier? Honestly being 4 weeks old and eating every two hours sounds normal to me.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

This behavior at 4 weeks seems normal to me. I held my daughter all the time for the first couple of months, I really didn't try to put her down - and she turned into a very independent child eventually. Eating every 2 hours is not unusual either. At 4 weeks old, they set the schedule, we don't.

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A.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Maybe try a sling during the day. My friends have all loved them although I've never used one. The sling will help her to still have the baby close but her hands free to do other things.

Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Buy a baby sling and carry the baby around. she is only 4 weeks old and still needs mommy all of the time. I had to get one with my last baby. It was a HUGE life saver. She is 10months now and when we go places that I can't navigate a strolller I still put her in one. I got mine from Target for $30.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.K.

answers from Provo on

I would just suggest looking into a dairy or other allergy, especially if your friend is nursing. Nightime is the worst time for gas.
I figured out that my duaghter is sensitive to dairy right around six weeks old. I went off all dairy and boy that was a HUGE improvement.
My son is also sensitive to dairy, although not as bad. But when i do snitch a little dairy he is much more clingy an malcontent.
Have her try going off all dairy, meaning anything with whey or cassein in it as well for two weeks and see if there is an improvement.
Also note that some kids who are sensitive to dairy are also sensitive to soy protein.
good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.W.

answers from Denver on

Sounds like my first born! He just never followed the rules! EVER! I don't think he slept through the night until he was 9! All that being said, a lot of people will tell you a good option is to slowly let them cry it out at night for a bit longer at a time so the baby's clock gets on to normal time. In other words, don't just run to feed her at night, wait it out for 15 or so and see if you can get her to stretch out her feedings. (BTW, I could never do this option). Another thing my girlfriend said to try is, If this baby is nursed, tell her to do some formula at night as well, this fills them up a bit more and sometimes helps. She would also use rice cereal in the bottle too. I never tried this option either but she swore by it.

The good news for your friend is, she probably has a VERY smart little girl on her hands. My son is not 10 and he is super smart. I figured he was such a pain as a baby because he was bored and wanted to be up where he could see what was going on. = )

Good luck to her and tell her to remember this is a short time that she has to endure this sleeping thing.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Provo on

I too suggest wearing the baby! My favorite with a really young baby is a wrap (like Moby Wrap). If she goes the sling route it must be fitted correctly to her-a lot of people wear them too loosely and it's horribly uncomfortable.

Also feeding her little one more frequently during the day should help stretch out those night feeds. Though she also may find that wearing baby will stretch out those night feeds as well; with my more needy babies, I found that as soon as I started wearing them, they were much more content all around and especially at night!

1 mom found this helpful

G.K.

answers from San Francisco on

I read the other responses so far, and I agree. If she can, I recommend baby-wearing. As exhausting as this behavior is, it all sounds NORMAL!!

The only other thing I can suggest is to try to start changing her days and nights. Suggest that she wake baby every 2 hours during the day, then let her sleep as long as she wants to during the nights when mom would usually sleep. It sounds like she's going to long between feeds during the daylight hours...??

Also, if she IS breastfeeding and needs a resource, Nursing Mothers Counsel is a non-profit organization of volunteer breastfeeding counselors who have also breastfed. We provide free, one-on-one support for mom and her breastfeeding goals through education and support mostly over the phone, though we do home visits if mom & counselor can arrange it. Thanks!

Also, you didn't mention if she's breastfeeding or bottle feeding. If she's breastfeeding, breast milk is digested more quickly than formula, so this could be a part of why baby may be feeding so often. She also is probably on the tail-end of her 3-4 week growth spurt. Tell mom to see how baby adjusts after this growth spurt :) And tell CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

This sounds like a normal 4 week old in every way! Sure, some kids are less fussy, but she can wean her to a swing or other "comfort" place in a few weeks, when she's a little bigger. Right now, this is golden time- all the cuddles and snuggling will help the baby be healthier and more confident.

The feeds are normal for an 11-pounder, too. In a few weeks- around 6 weeks old, then again around 9 weeks, then 3 months, etc- she will go through growth spurts that will at first seem like she's constantly starving, but will ultimately mean she can go longer between feeds. Until then, this is normal for her.
Sorry, I couldn't be more sympathetic! Raised 3 of my own, and have a whole bunch of nieces and nephews, cousins, etc. This is life with a newborn! LOL

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Boise on

At four weeks (mine is also four weeks), there is definitely a growth spurt going on. My daughter is also eating about every 2 hours. If the night/day seems a bit backwards, she can try to wake her up every two hours for feedings during the day, and "hope" that that allows her to sleep longer at night. The good news is that this should pass, or has this been going on since birth? For the not putting down part, she can try a sling to free her hands, and also try to wait until she is totally passed out before putting her down, and do it in short bursts. She can also check out "Happiest Baby on the Block" for soothing techniques.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Boise on

my son and daughter both were that way ( I lucked out with 1 being content) Anyway, I found out that their spines were not straight and that causes a lot of fussiness in babies. We weren't getting any sleep with our oldest and he was exactly the way you describe. At my check-up appointment with my OB/GYN she asked how I was sleeping and I told her what was going on, and so she took his baby blanket and put it on the floor, then she took him, she said if he laid straight on the blanket that he was fine and we would have to check out other issues, but as soon as she laid him down he cocked himself to one side and she said that he needed to get his back adjusted, that babies go through so much being born, we don't think that their little bodies get so bent out of shape. She gave me a name and number of a Chiropractor that adjusts newborns and we went there and after 2 adjustments we had a new baby!! We did this with our little girl after she was born, because she was so fussy, and she became a new baby too!! So content and peaceful and able to sleep longer, etc. So with all that my suggestion is to see if there is a chiropractor that adjusts babies and have her take her daughter there and have them adjust her a couple times. (make sure she doesn't get caught up into the come back every week or 2 weeks etc.....that's a hoax, but within 2 adjustments she should see a new little girl).

1 mom found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

Some babies are just more work than others. Some want to be held more than others. At only 4 weeks old, this baby girl should still be held and fed on demand. She is not crying to be "bad" or because she is getting "spoiled". I know it has to be hard with a 2 yo brother to care for as well...but you can't NOT give the baby what she needs just because it is inconvenient or difficult.

I read through some of the other responses and have a couple of comments.... This newborn should NOT cry it out, through the night or day, yet! Babies are not even physically ready to sleep "through the night" until after 4 months. She has quite a bit longer to go! She needs to know that her needs will be met by her mother/parents.... do not let her cry. And...this is coming from someone who eventually DID use that method. It can work, when the child is ready. But do not do it before 4 months at the earliest.

Also... do NOT put rice cereal in her milk at this age! Babies should not have any solids before 4-6 months. Their digestive systems are not developed enough for that. Talk to the doctor for specifics, but do not give her something she is not ready for just because things are hard or you are tired.

Get a baby carrier (sling, front carrier, etc) so that the baby can stay close to mama and mom can still have her hands free.

Continue to let her sleep and feed on demand. You can't spoil a newborn. She is crying because she needs something and you need to give that to her right now.... for her physical, emotional, and psychological well-being.

I know this may sound rough and I don't mean it to. I know parents do the best they can with the knowledge that they have. I know having two little ones is a lot of work and physically and mentally draining...but you still have to make sure the children (especially the newborn) are getting what they need from you. Talk to your doctor if things are getting rough. Talk to friends. Get help when necessary so that you can have a break. Best of luck!

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