Have You Ever Been the Parent of the "Bad Kid"?

My son has behavior issues - he's now 5 and we noticed some issues and started intervention (in and out of home) since he was two. I won't get into all of the things we do - just know, it's addressed. Even so, that does not make all of his social issues disappear - it's a constant challenge.
The current issue we face (which the daycare director tells me about) is that my son doesn't read social cues so he will get in peoples faces and not understand when they tell him to go away......or he will get mad and throw a 5 year old tantrum and then when other kids try to help him he gets mad and acts out towards them.....the result - kids don't want to play with him.........He recently recognized this (good progress in our eyes but heartbreaking that he has to learn this lesson).
Anyway - when I pick the kids up I will hear things (from other children) - Logan was bad today; Logan pushed; Logan was saying bad words, etc. etc. etc.
So, yes, I am the parent of a perceived "bad kid".....and yes, I have feelings......everynight I pray for the help to help him; we talk about how no one is bad but make bad choices; I cry a lot about situations; I have a LOT of communication with his teachers (he goes to a special ed preschool) and the daycare directors.....
It feels isolating; however, from it I have become a less judgemental person and very much more tolerant and understanding of others challenges.

I am the mom of the bad kid. He's not malicious, sneaky, or mean spirited. He's loud, goofy, class clown, playful, hyper, and has to be told too many times to get it under control. He is willful and won't stop laughing, joking, playing, running, jumping, unless you are very stern with him, which teachers generally are not. He is disruptive at school and a whirlwind of energy at home. He's everybodys best friend everywhere he goes.

It's impossible not to know, unless you are blind, deaf, and in total denial. The teacher sends home a folder everyday that says - not following directions, not working peacefully, had to be told to lower volume 3 times. Plus, I live with the little terrorist! I know he's a handfull. Oh, that's another way you know you're kids bad. People describe him to me in a funny way. I say was he good today? They say, oh he's a boy, they're supposed to be rowdy, or he sure is active, or I wish I had his energy, or some other delicate way to say he's a handul.

I have not, but I've got a little experience with it. A good friend of mine (over 20 years of friendship) has a really sweet son who is VERY big for his age. His father was 6'4" pretty early, so it wasn't a surprise. But she'd always get disapproving looks from others on the playground, like her "big kid" should go play with kids his own age, or he's being too rough (he was really just more awkward, tripping on his feet, like a puppy), or he should get off the swing and let a little kid have a turn (when he'd only been on a few minutes). It was hard for her in that she understood that they didn't know his age and that he had every right to that playground, but she also felt a little defensive of him. More is expected out of him than other kids his age, as everyone thought he was 7 or 8, instead of 4 or 5. They'd think he was slow since his speech wasn't what they'd expect, or if he behaved as a 5 year old instead of a 3rd grader. Now he's 14, a nice kid, and very very popular with the girls in school, but he does have some issues keeping his thoughts to himself (or thinking about them a bit, organizing those thoughts into words that won't be misunderstood). She doesn't really know how to deal with teaching him to censor himself....but that's the issue now, with teachers.
There was a lady that went to a playgroup we attended for awhile. She was VERY nice, she was from another country and new to the area. I didn't know anyone else from where she was from, so I know she must have been a little lonely. Her son was a young guy (2, MAYBE 3) but a stout, sturdy little boy and very....."hands on". He would get really excited and squeal, but then slap or push. That's not ok. She'd try to stop him, but he'd do it A LOT. After a few times of my small 2-3 year old son getting knocked down, I called him over to eat some lunch. As we were eating I said "the guy in the orange shirt: he's just trying to play, but he plays too rough. I think you should either say "stop now" or if he won't stop, move to the other side and play away from him a bit". I said it quietly and casually, making sure not to blame the kid for being "bad" (especially when watching his face I saw that he wasn't being mean or angry, he just couldn't control his excitement being with other children). But other moms got mad at her for not doing enough. I couldn't tell if it was cultural, a parenting style, or what, but I noticed that the mom started being isolated. Like, others didn't like how her child behaved so they did start sitting away from her. They'd give her looks but not say anything. I felt bad so I sat with her from then on. It was obvious she wanted adults to talk to, she felt alone and her husband worked a lot, she was a little overwhelmed. I started calling my son over for little things to correct him in front of her, just as sort of a model. She started doing that too, but it didn't really work on her son. Then he pushed a girl down, and someone got really mad, she grabbed her son and left. It's the last I ever saw of her, but I feel bad for her. I don't know what I'd do if I was actually in her shoes.
The people across the street have the first child I'd consider someone I don't want my kid playing with. But it's not all his fault. He's left to play outside alone all the time. He JUST turned 4 and crosses the street without looking, plays IN the street (and won't necessarily move if you're driving--more than once he's actually stood in the middle of the road with his hand up to "stop" people), and I see him in the woods behind our backyard, which I have issue with because there ARE snakes back there. I don't mind so much if he's very close to our fence but just about 10 ft further back there's a little ditch that we know for sure has snakes (and small alligators at different times of the day during the summer are probably about 30-50 ft back). If I see him going a little further than my fence I'll call out to him, but he just sneers at me like I'm stupid for talking to him. Lately we've been finding stones in our yard and I suspect he's throwing them in there---I HOPE it's TO our dog and not AT our dog (like, *hopefully* trying to get her to fetch? I really hope nobody is chucking rocks at our dog). I haven't caught him doing that though. When we first moved here, we let my son go play in his yard; it was the first time we'd ever let him be across the street at someone's house before, but we were trying to follow their lead. We kept an eye on them though, and saw him kick our son hard between the legs (and he's a good 6" taller, and 10-15 lbs heavier than our son). We've seen other things not involving our kids, so our son isn't allowed over there. We get along fine with the parents, but our parenting styles are so different that we don't hang out. When our son is at our other neighbors, this kid from across the street goes over too, and has pushed and held my son down a few times. Joseph didn't do anything about it because he didn't want to be "in trouble" but I told him "That's what you're in Kung Fu for----this has become a problem. Look him straight in the eye and say "Do NOT do that again". If he does, take him down". Joseph warned him the next time, the kid laughed at him, so he did a hard take down. They play nicely now, but at arm's length. I feel a little bit bad, we don't invite them to the parties or anything, but then they have said so themselves, that their son is a bit of a bully. If I knew that about my son, I'd be standing outside as he was playing to catch him so I could instruct and train him on how to behave, but they don't. I guess that's the difference and why I don't include them as much.

ETA: From the description given, I'd sayTracy K's kid is NOT what I would call a bad kid. I would call that me, and my brother. And while tiring, fun too.

How old are these kids that moms take them to the playground?

I really, Really, REALLY dislike labeling of kids.

I cringe when I hear other parents talking about the "bad kid" etc.

Just go. Maybe the big bad playground-appropriately-aged boogy man isn't as bad as you think!

And I'm quite certain you probably are going to find out what it feels like when other kids/parents don't care for your kid....NO kid is perfect. Not ALL personalities "get along" all the time forever. Would that make your kid "bad"?

People don't live in a bubble....why place your child in O. now?

Good luck!

I have a spirited kid. A lot of times, she will do things that people consider "bad." She is very impulsive, highly reactive, slow to transition, sensitive, obstinate, and easily disappointed. Sometimes she reacts appropriately, and other times she overreacts (often by saying mean things or being surly, occasionally by yelling/screaming, and rarely by hitting/kicking). I have no doubt that some parents think my kiddo is the "bad" kid. But she can also be the sweetest, most generous, most observant, charismatic, funny kid in a room. As parents, our job is to help her learn to stop inappropriate reactions, control or moderate portions of her temperament (which she was born with), and acknowledge and be proud of her very many wonderful characteristics.

Frankly, if someone has only parented an easy child, they have no clue what it takes to parent a challenging child. Therefore, I could care less (most of the time) what opinion they have of my kiddo.

I agree with One and Done.

Sort of and sort of not. My kid was and always has been very polite and nice to adults. He'll even open the door for old ladies or get something off a shelf for someone. He'd even keep other kids from getting hurt by bullies by keeping them distracted/busy. Everything was find when he started school, but things changed slightly around 3rd/4th grade. His best friend started picking on him and making fun of him. Unfortunately, most of the other kids would follow suit with the exception of the ethnic kids. My son used to ask me why white kids were so cruel and I told him not all are bad, and that he just didnt' meet the nice ones yet. I also told him it's ok to hang out with the nicer kids instead. (Of course it was a group of kids, whose parents were heavily into education and most were doctors' kids.) I got calls and emails from his former friends' mom's complaining that he called thier children names. One of the parents told me he called their son "fat." When I ask my son he always truthfully spoke up and said it was true, because they called him names too. ("nerd," "geek," etc.) Of course I was irritated. I asked him why he didn't go to the teacher, and he said because they do nothing and things just get worse. The school's very small, so I called the parents back to make a deal with them. I told them what their kid called mine and that was why he came back with more name calling, but they felt "nerd" or "geek" was ok. I told them it still hurts and that if they stop calling my son names and stay away from him, he will stop calling them names. Didn't work work perfectly, but no more emails or calls. What did work was skipping him a grade. No problems now and lots of friends. Being a parent of a victim and a bully both hurt, and make you feel helpless as a parent.