My husband and I have been married for over 12 years. We have a biological son that will be 5 in Aug. We have dealt with fertility issues for about 9-10 years. We have decided that our family is not complete and we want our son to grow up with a sibling. We have decided that we are not up for messing with Mother Nature any further and have decided not to try IVF. We have started the process of adoption. We have filed our application and awaiting our home study to begin. I am looking for other Moms that are in the process or have completed the process to discuss some of the issues that they faced/facing. I would love to hear the good, bad, and the ugly of your experience.
Please contact me.
TIA
I have not adopted and don't plan to but I happen to know there's a very interesting series of articles on this very subject on a website called MothersMovementOnline.org. It's edited by a friend of mine, Judy Tucker. You might be interested--T. content
My mother adopted my sister 16 yrs ago, and from what I know things havent really changed. If you would like to speak with her, she has the good, the bad, and the very ugly. Let me know
HI B.! Good Luck! I was adopted myself 31yrs ago, process has totally changed since then!! Birth Mother gets to decide who she wants the baby to go to, so could be a really long wait! I'm going to start the process myself for adoption in July 2007!!! SO excited. I'm planning on a local adoption.
I have a one year old Son at the moment and hubby and I would love for him to have a baby sister.
D.
my parents adopted me, here's a few things:
when they were waiting for a baby (three years) they had many "teases", one instance in particular where they were told they were going to get a girl and then when the kid was born they were called and they had set up a nursery and EVERYTHING and when they got to the hospital the mom changed her mind. when they FINALLY got me (end of three years of waiting) they hadn't prepared at all, they knew my mom was pregnant and had met my family (not direct, but aunt and grandma) at church, so my birth mom was comfortable. when i came from the hospital they put me in a laundry basket w/ a pillow in it (i'm 8 months pregnant right now, so after all the things i read i figure it's a miracle i survived, hah).
open adoptions are a bit tricky, the kid gets confused and it's easy to imagine that life with their "natural" family would be a million times better than whatever (no matter what) is going on in their present family. you've gotta be patient. i know my birth family and, after i grew up, realized the benefits i had as a result of being adopted. mostly because all my natural siblings (3 of them) were addicted to one drug or another most of my childhood, i just didn't know it.
it's confused and complicated, but it seems like a normal life to me.
We just adopted our son in January from Florida (we live in MD), and are waiting for our court date for finalization. The "Dear Birthmother" or "profile" will probably drive you absolutely crazy, but be yourselves and try not to stress too much. The Homestudy is not nearly as scary as you think, and you don't have to scrub your floors with a toothbrush before your social worker comes :) Our social worker was extremely laid back and very nice.
Have you chosen your agency yet? Domestic or international? You'll hear horror stories and biased opinions about which ever route you go...ultimately I say all adoption decisions have to rely on your gut feelings!!
Let me know if you have any questions!
C.
Hi B.,
Are you adopting internationally?
B. - I could have written your same post...right down to having a 5 year old boy! We have not put in an application yet, however, and are just waiting for guidance on that. But it sounds like you and I are in the same place! Please feel free to contact me if you would like to chat!
A.
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