C.A. asks from Vallejo, CA on March 13, 2008
Mom Wanting to Adopt a Baby
Looking to add to our family I lost a baby three years ago told I was done by the doctors I have a seven year old little girl. Would like to know if anyone has adopted before if so a little thoughts on it would be helpful Thank you CC
M.H. answers from San Francisco on March 14, 2008
First, I want to wish you the best of luck with adoption. Second, I would love to find out what responses you get since I am also looking into adopting.
Again, good luck...and thanks.
N.L. answers from Fresno on March 14, 2008
I haven't adopted any children, but I have a couple of friends who have. I see adoption as a very, very blessed option. One of my friends said it can take a long time and be expensive, but well worth it. She would do it again in a heartbeat.
I just wanted to let you know of this program I heard of a while back on an Oprah show. She was talking to a woman who started a rescue program for 'unwanted' babies and finding families that wanted to adopt to place the babies with. The program is called Project Cuddle (www.projectcuddle.org). This may be something you could look into.
1 mom found this helpful
C.B. answers from Salinas on March 14, 2008
My husband and I were unable to have children of our own so we looked into all forms of adoption. The one that we choose was called fost/adopt. It is an amazing experience and we love our babies. We adopted twins 4 month old babies. Some of the benefits are that it only cost us $800 and we were reembersed and thier medical is paid for until they are 18 years old, we never had to fly to another country they were right here and the adoption agency still provides counciling for us at ever new stage that we have questions. The agency that we used was the Hand in Hand Foundation ###-###-####. They provide training for us and really took great care of us so that we could take care of and love our babies. We are now freinds with a lot of other families that have done this program and we are all loving and deeply fulfilled by our choice to adopt.
If you have any further questions please feel free to contact me directly ____@____.com.
1 mom found this helpful
A.K. answers from San Francisco on March 13, 2008
two of my good friends were adopted. They say that the most important thing is to be honest with them (ie. let them know from the beginning that they were adopted.) My friend Megan said that her family would have a special dinner every year called their completness dinner. That would honor the day their family became complete (the day she was adopted.) It was very low key (no presents) so that their two older biological children would not get jelous.
I'm afraid that's all the advice I can give other than include your little girl in the process so she feels like this is a family event.
Good luck and congratulations on your growing family.
1 mom found this helpful
S.A. answers from Sacramento on March 14, 2008
We adopted two beautiful children from an orphanage in Ukraine when they were a year and a half old. While there have been some issues helping them make up for the early deprivation, we wouldn't trade it for the world. We tried for 10 years to have our own and I kept having miscarriages. We looked into domestic adoption, but felt that there were hundreds of families competing for every child and that every one of them would definitely get a home. We also were concerned about the number of failed domestic adoptions and the heartbreak prospective parents felt when the birth mother changed her mind. We were also concerned about the birth mother remaining in the child's life, since open adoption is the most common way today.
We decided adopting children that might never get a home was where our hearts were. It was heartbreaking to leave the hundreds of beautiful children behind that we saw, but we at least brought home two to give them a good life. There is so much poverty in the former Soviet Union countries that there are literally thousands of orphans there. Should you decide to consider this, please don't hesitate to contact me.
S.M. answers from San Francisco on March 14, 2008
Adoption is wonderful. We adopted a baby though open adoption. We went through Little Angel Adoptions in the Sacramento area. We signed up in November, were matched in Feb and had Ryan in July. We were there for his birth. My husband cut the cord. We are in contact with his birth family. We are supposed to see them about three times a year but once a year is about what we do. It has been an awesome experience. In fact three of our friends have adopted with the same agency and had a baby in about six months to eight months. All stories are different. Some have contact with birth families, some have none. WE have a well adjusted, beautiful baby boy who we love. We have a sixteen year old daughter who loves her baby brother to no end. Please feel free to contact me if you would like. Our birthmother is also open to speaking to people wanting to adopt. Good Luck S.
J.L. answers from San Francisco on March 14, 2008
I adopted my girl at birth and it was a wonderful experience from beginning to end. Once I was able to get over the fact that I was not going to produce a child, the rest was easy. From the time I contacted the adoption agency to when I had my baby in my arms was, ironically, about nine months. We chose to adopt domestically, rather than internationally, because I wanted a new born and it was actually cheaper than traveling and having both of us not working while out of the country. We used Adopt International and they were great. What you discover when adopting is that your child is really your child regardless of the fact that she came to you from the birth mother's womb. The magic is that the birth mother, at least ours, was convinced that this was the destiny of this baby. Adoption is magic. Good luck. J.
L.S. answers from Redding on March 15, 2008
We adopted our only daughter. We've had her since she was a newborn and the adoption was final just before her first birthday - she is nine years old now. In our case, we were related to the birthmother's side of the family and they sought us out to adopt the baby. Even though we didn't go through an agency, the state still had to be involved, so we had to go through all the typical hoops and red tape in addition to paying a fee. They have a set time frame in which they work that no amount of sweet talk will speed up. Once you accept this, then the process is worth it. Everything you are required to do pays off once you hold that child in your arms. The icing on the cake is when you go to court and hear the judge say: "The state of California now recognises you as the child's natural born parents!"
P.C. answers from San Francisco on March 14, 2008
My husband and I are in the process of getting licensed for foster care and adoption through our county (Santa Clara), and I have to say that for the most part, the trainings and the services offered have been excellent. My understanding is that there are some children (maybe not so many infants) in foster care whose parents rights will be terminated once an adoptive family is found. I've also talked to several foster moms who care for infants, and it seems like many of them (way more than the stats show) end up being available for adoption. So I guess the big questions you should consider are 1)if you're up for taking an older-than-infant child who needs a permanent home or 2) if you're willing to take an infant who may or may not become available for adoption. I encourage you to think about both questions - there are soooo many kids in the system who need wonderful homes! And the county really does offer quite a bit of support, even after the kids are adopted - a monthly financial stipend, support groups, classes on discipline and bonding, etc. Anyway, if you're interested in going the local adoption route, call 408-299-KIDS (if you're in Santa Clara county - if you're in another county, you'll have to look on the county website for the #)and ask about their next PRIDE class orientation (a 10-week class required for all folks thinking about fostering/adopting through the county). Or feel free to email me about any questions you have :) - I was a foster baby and was adopted 37 years ago by a wonderful family and so **love** to see folks considering adoption!