Please Tell Me Your Adoption Story

Hi P.,

I grew up in foster care and didnt get adopted till i was 15. I am no 20 years old. I know alot about adoption and CPS.

There are lots of children who need homes and there are also lots of kids who need foster homes.

My adoptive mom is acutally retiring from the foster care business because you basically live in a glass house and you life is never private and alot of the "teenagers" who have been abused and neglected are pretty much phycotic.

I always wanted a loving family to adopt me when i was about 6 years old but that never happed.

BECAUSE LETS FACE IT. EVERYONE WANTS CUTE LITTLE BABYS.

However this lovely lady adopted me. it was truley blessing in my life.

With that being said. There are agencys out there that dont cost that much to adopt a child. The system is so over crowded they would love to place a child in a safe happy home.

I considered adoption with my little girl when i was pregnant but in the end i chose to keep her. I didnt find a family that i turley liked. At the time I went through hope cottage adoption agency.

But my mom has a list of agencys that you can go through if you are interested.

1st step would be . to call a place and get information. and pricing.

PERSONALLY I THINK ITS CRAZY THAT THEY MAKE YOU PAY TO ADOPT A CHILD. CHILDREN SHOUDLNT BE A SOURCE OF INCOME.

2 moms found this helpful

Hello P.,

I gave my son at birth for adoption in 1986. I went through Buckner Baptist Benevolence in Dallas. They were very kind and thorough. It was a closed adoption and he was adopted by a very loving couple. I was recently blessed to meet him when he searched for me in 2006 as he had joined the Marines and wanted to meet me in case he was sent to Iraq and anything happened. I am so happy to have the confirmation that he was well loved and cared for.

My understanding is that Buckner has children of various ages who need adoption, not all are infants. I'm not sure if you specifically want an infant or not. Point being, either way, Buckner is a legitimate source to check into. Many employers offer adoption assistance - has your husband checked into that?

I wish you well and may God bless you for the special heart you have for children.

2 moms found this helpful

I am the adoptive mom of three children, non-siblings, from Russia. Before you get caught up trying to find where and how to adopt a child, I encourage you to investigate the special needs issues of adopted children. Regardless of whether you adopt a child at birth, foster children, or adopt from abroad, there are many issues that these children face -regardless of the child's age or background - that are dramatically different from those of a natural born child.

Attachment issues are common with adoptive children. These issues can range from mild to severe. Knowing about these issues is particularly important when determining if adoption is right for you and your existing family. Love conquers a lot, but not all. Do not let your emotions and fantasies of the wanted outcome cloud your ability to take a hard look at whether you are able to deal with these serious, pervasive issues. I thought I could deal with some of these. I had no idea I would encounter them all with the intensity we have experienced.

I believe God picks your kids, regardless of how he brings them to you. I have also learned not to become vested in the outcome. That is also God's business. Adopted kids are much more challenging than naturally bonded infants. Many (if not most) have Reactive Attachment Disorder which ranges from mild to severe. Educate yourself now and decide if you are up to parenting a child that refuses to accept your love and direction. Then follow God's plan for your family. Take great care not to let emotion, a sense of urgency, and a fantasy of an outcome get in the way of going into this important decision with your eyes wide open.

My three children have RAD. One mild, one moderate, and one severe. It has been the greatest test of my marriage, my faith, and every aspect of my life I could have never imagined. I know God called me to this purpose. I also know that I would never recommend it to anyone who wasn't sure of the same calling from God. You will need every support you can get and then some.

God bless your decision and I will pray that He gives you the guidance you need to fulfill his plan for your life and your family.

Again, God picks your kids - and he doesn't make junk. He purifies us through trials and our reward is in heaven - not on earth.

My purpose is not to discourage you from adoption. I know it is one of the greatest gifts you can possibly give another human being. I want you to investigate the challenges before you make a decision to move forward. By preparing yourself and educating your family you will make the best decision and be prepared for what ever child God has for you.

1 mom found this helpful

I have two adopted children, and they are two completely different stories. We got our first through Gladney in Ft. Worth and went to Russia. It was alot of paperwork and waiting not to mention money (over 25,ooo) but a wonderful experience. Our second was through a website called Christian Adoption.com. We couldn't afford to go back to Russia and I found this site. You pay a listing fee of about 1500 and they post a letter and pics. Birthmoms lookand hopefully you are picked. We were called within six weeks. After that you are pretty much on your own. We communicated with the girl through pregnancy and hired a lawyer and social worker to facilitate the adoption. It was difficult (the father contested it and it was alot of waiting and having a baby we didn't know if we could keep) but all turned out well and it cost less that 6000 I think.

Hope out stories help. Both were great ezperiences!

1 mom found this helpful

P., I am also looking into adoption. I a a single mother and made contact with Adopt Us Kids. They hold informationals and offer classes to help families along the way with what may be required depending on the child. They also work in connection with One Church One Child and so far any questions that I have, a representative has gotten back to me very quickly. The woman that I've spoken with is Jailynn Smith at 866-432-3678 and her email address is: ____@____.com

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

You might try LDS (Latter Day Saint) adoption services. I've heard their services are fairly cheap. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

P.,
Are you Catholic because the Catholic Charities is where we adopted and they were so great. I am not sure if they have a sliding fee or not. You may want to call them. Adoption is a roller coaster ride so be prepared.
L.

1 mom found this helpful

P.,

my name is M., i am 33 yrs old and almost 15 yrs ago now i placed my twin boys with a loving couple in what is known as an open adoption. i would be glad to share any information about that experience with you and i am sure jeanie, the adoptive mother, would be glad to answer any questions you might have as well. we met through mutual friends but did let and agency handle the details of the adoption, Hope Cottage of Dallas. This agency is a great place for anyone planning on adopting to go to get information. They have meetings for all parties involved and would give you a chance to ask all the questions you might have and even learn some things you might not know. But like i said at the start i would be glad to tell you about our experience it is wonderful that you are willing to open your home to a child. I thank you for all the birth mothers out here bless you for that. If you would like to contact me to ask any questions please feel free or if you would like to speak with Jeanie I am sure I can get you in contact with her as well.

My email is ____@____.com

Bless you and good luck

M. B.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi P.

We have three children that we adopted at birth. Our oldest son,now 10 was a private adoption. Meaning that we networked with everyone and told our story that we wanted to adopt. We had to have a home study and attorneys to finalize. It was cheaper than an agency but also alot of work for us. Our next adoptions were for twins who are now 4. We worked with an agency called Family to Family near Houston that was wonderful to work with and they made our adoption finalization a breeze. Financially they cost more than going private but alot less work for us. They have seminars here in the DFW area. Fam2fam.org is their website I think and you can always contact me for more information. Good luck and don't let the money scare you away from your dream of expanding your family. I know God planned for us to have these 3 wonderful children since we were unable to conceive.
C.

1 mom found this helpful

Merissa, I am glad to hear that you were adopted into a loving home and that you are happy. I am in the process of adopting my daughter, who is 2 years old and she is an absolute gem.

P., start stashing away money, because adoption costs can vary. I have paid for social workers, agency fees, court costs and current birth certificates and the list goes on and on. That being said, if you are thinking about adopting a child locally from the foster system, the costs are much lower than an infant adoption or an international adoption. However, you need to be flexible on ages, and look for a child that is also looking for you. I truly believe that the children available just want to be loved. Start here... http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Adoption_and_Foster_Care/
They have some listings of children, and there is a building in Austin that has all of the children available.

You will need a current homestudy, and these prices vary from agency to agency, plan on $3000. You will also get a tax credit for up to 10k in adoption expenses to help reimburse you for some of the fees. This tax credit helps make some adoptions happen, just simply because there are a lot of people with the love for a child written on their heart, but not the financial resources to move forward.

I do know some families that took out second mortgages on their homes, I personally took on some extra work to help pay for my expenses.

Good luck in your decision!!

1 mom found this helpful

P.,
My husband and I adopted our little girl at birth, here locally through Adoption Advisory. She is now 2 1/2 years old and PERFECT!!!! They are a small, more private firm (so they are normally priced) BUT our experience was great. Our friends, however adopted their little boy through the Fostering system and that adoption was fairly good as well, and they spent next to nothing to adopt him. Now they are adopting two more kids the same way. There are a lot of choices so do research on all avenues. International adoption is just about as expensive as domestic, so you aren't really saving any money going that route, you can however save money if your willing to be more flexible in the type of child you adopt. All children need a loving family and it sounds like yours is just that. Good luck. if you need more information you can email me at ____@____.com and I'll give you more information.

1 mom found this helpful

P.,
my husband and I are in the same boat you are, not enough money to fund an international or domestic private adoption, but we are going through arrow project out of richardson to foster/adopt,
check out their webpage, www.arrow.org

hope that helps!
also the texas baptist home for children has a domestic adoption program where fee's are based on your income on a sliding scale..
they also have a webpage.. just google them. their waiting list for orientation is long, but I've heard it's not too long once you get to orientation, as they only take 7 couples at at time. :)
-M.
message me if you have any other questions, I'd love to help!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi P.,
I am an adopted mom of two boys. They were place with us as infants and both were a domestic adoptions. I would suggest that you first decide on what kind of an adoption you and your family desire to have. Domestic, international, open, closed, semi closed. Would you consider a child with any medical conditions? How about I child of color? Or maybe an older child? Sadly those adoptions wouldn't be as much as a healthy Caucasian infant. Some would be even free through the state. Think about those things and then look into agencies that will work in those areas. Something that I learned was that all agencies are NOT equal and have many different policies regarding what risks are involved. My main question when calling an agency was if an adoption did not take place and the mother/father changed their mind would our monies then go toward another adoption or would we suffer loss? Also some agencies require you to pay for medical care and even some livings expenses to the birth mother while she is pregnant. Those monies would be lost if the placement/adoption fell through. We did not want to be in any finical risk. We figured it was going to to be a big enough emotional risk for us. :)
As for cost, again all agencies are different and it depends on what kind of adoption you want. Some offer different programs (domestic, international, special needs....) so the cost can be different. Most use a sliding scale based on your income. Also I would highly suggest only considering ones that offers an orientation on what they offer. Then you can ask all the questions at that time before making any serious moves toward an adoption. We decided to use Gladney Center in Fort Worth for both of our adoptions and was very happy with them.
They have a very old history and was also physically close to us. Some people don't feel comfortable with using such a large agency and think it feels too "in personable" and chose an agency that is smaller. We felt more secure with a larger more established agency. As you might already know while surfing the web alot of the agencies are no longer open. Again, it your own preface.
I wish you well on your journey, and would be happy to answer any questions if I can. Just email me. :)
C.

1 mom found this helpful

Oh P.,
My daughters were both adopted. When we found out we could not have biological children, I was devastated. My whole life all I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. I really believe now that we went through what we did because it was God's plan all along for us to adopt our two wonderful little girls. Both were adopted domestically as newborns from a very small Christian agency in Tyler, TX. www.livalt.org They do have a sliding scale fee based on income & ease of placement for the child, which does make it more economical than a lot of other domestic agencies. One of our social workers is writing a book on the "stories" of the different families. I would be happy to share mine with you if you would like but it is LONG-- I think 8 pages? Anyway, if you are interested, I would be most happy to email it to you if you send me your email address. Best of luck to you!
Warmly,
A. Guthrie, ____@____.com

After reading the other stories, I wanted to add a little to my own. My agency felt different from the others I looked into immediately. It is affiliated with the missionary organization YWAM-- Youth With a Mission. All the people who work there are missionairies-- the social workers, the house parents at the maternity home, every single person involved with the maternity home, crisis pregnancy center, and adoption agency. They truly help birthmoms seek the will of God for the futures of their babies. Since they are all missionaries who raise their own financial support, there is no economical pressure placed upon them to find babies to place. The women who stay at the maternity home stay at no cost to them-- whether they place or not. I only paid my initial registration fee & costs to attend orientation up front-- around $50. I did not give them another dime until the day they handed me my daughter. Do be careful-- to us, the emotional support offered to the birthmom was very important, and both birth familes were ministered to by the agency, even the birth grandparents-- this is a big loss to them, too! We have excellent relationships from a distance with both birth families. We communicate back and forth with letters/pictures/gifts through the agency--we don't know last names or home towns. My husband and I see the birth families at fund raising banquets every year-- an adults only event that our daughters do not attend-- it is like a family reunion for us and for them. I could go on and on about the wonderful experiences we have had. I agree with Merissa (I hope I am getting her name right), adoption is about finding loving families for children, not a business.

1 mom found this helpful

Best of luck to you in your adoption plan. I had always wanted to adopt as a young child. I told my husband I could not marry him unless we adopted children. I did my thesis for my Master's Degree on Foreign Adoption. I am blessed with two children that are adopted. One of the responses asked you to think about many things that need to be considered and they were all very good suggestions. Go through her list and find out what suits your needs. Do your research. Research, research, research. We had two great adoptions. I think you would make a great adoptive parent an I can not even begin to tell you how very exciting it is!!!

1 mom found this helpful

P.

My husband and I are currently going through foster to adopt program through CPS. We actuallt go through an agency called Kornerstone and they place children from CPS of all ages. There are many pros and cons to taking this route as you may get a placement and lose them such is the story with us. We are now on our third placement and it does look like we will get to adopt him, but it is a long process before adoption is final. It really depends on the age groop you are looking at. Kornerstone provides all the training, home study ect for free. You are never charged anything until the final adoption you do ahve to pay for an attorney and court costs which is usually $1500 but is also reimbursed by the state after the adoption is final. There are also other incintentives when the child is considered foster care such as a mohtly stipend to help with the expense of the child and other things too. Let me know if you have questions or want more info. I love teaching people about this and our experience with it all.