Getting Snippy with Your Mother

I dont really like my mom so its easy to get snippy. I try not to, but she repeatedly does something to my son that I have told her not to, the monster in me comes out. lol

Sounds like you turn back into a child when you have mom present and act like a bratty teenager. You are trying to show her your independence and that you have your "own" way of doing things. You probably should just be quiet and smile about some of the quirkiness your mom does and not get down on her for it especially since the visits are temporary. I know what you mean tho, I'm still a little snarky to my mom and I'm in my 50's... I guess we never really grow up all the way when mom is still around.

I am the same with with my mom--although she lives out of state like a lot of these other mamas' mamas. But, my saving grace is that my sister and I are SUPER close--and when we get irritated at our mom--we can call each other and gripe. We admit that we feel guilty--cuz we know she won't be here forever---and then we tell each other it's okay and we feel better. It's kind of a confession and understanding therapy! Do you have anyone you can talk to like my sister and I do? It really is helpful!! Don't be too h*** o* yourself. I just realize that I like my "alone" time---and when my parents are here---I don't get much of that. It starts to get on my nerves. You're normal!!

It's normal. I really have to bit my tongue at times when my mom comes to visit, or even my MIL. Unless something is going to outright endanger my children (my mother has never done that) then I try to not to say anything about it. I rarely see my mother so I really don't want to start a fight with her.

I don't have a problem with her putting the wrong things in the microwave because I don't have one. Other things, such as her using the dish rag to wipe faces, since I put out a fresh one every day and if I use it to wipe up meat juices, etc. that goes right in the wash so I don't see a problem with it. You mother must have done that with you as a child and is nothing new so why would worry about it with your daughter?

PLEASE...my mom and I have been arguing two days over the protests in Wisconsin at the capitol. It drives me nuts that she is running our family business, and has no business sense...I get snippy alright. I sent her a two page explanation in small font on why I have the view that I do...then, I called her up and asked if I am out of the will a few hours later...we laughed, and all is well.

I know what a &^*%& I can be...and I am pretty certain it hasn't escaped her eyes...but she rags about me to her friends, and forgets it.

HA! I do this too! Not right away...but after 4 or 5 days. With my MIL as well. Then I apologize for being so rotten :)
They both live out of state and stay 10 days to 3+ weeks when they come. I think it's just that getting out of our routines and not having things done the way we are used to doing them just makes us cranky.
She doesn't load things in the dishwasher in the same places I put them, etc...all stupid stuff, and I know it! I do appreciate the help but as time goes on, the littlest things start to irk me. I can usually be tactful for a pretty long while, but then it just gets to me. I think it's about "too many cooks in the kitchen" a little bit as well...we are used to being "queen mom" in our own houses! Just make an effort to bite your tongue and be sure to apologize...I'm sure she "gets it" :)

I wish my mom was here for me to be prideful with.

It's normal, though. You are mom, and you have your own way of
doing things. You have a system. It's normal to feel snippy when
someone else challenges your system, and does things that are
out of your control. There's a lot on the line- namely a lovely little
baby that relies on you to have needs met.

You're perfectly normal. Just take a deep breath and say "thank
you for helping mom, I appreciate it."

She's been in your shoes. She will understand. Just give her some
extra love and praise for tolerating your 'maternal crazed snippyness'

=D good luck

I do not get snippy with my mom, when she does something I do not like I just tell her we do not do things that way and she is respectful. Over all I try to give her the proper tools to succeed in the first place. If she is feeding baby I give her the wipe I use and the proper tools to "fix" it. My mom really leaves that kind of stuff up to me anyways and is just there to play. I guess what I am saying is if you want/need her to do something for you give her the proper tools to do it right the first time.

Hey Birdie, don't hate yourself. We as women and mothers are very territorial
(I Know I spelled that wrong) anyway there is only room for one Queen Bee in a home, so when mom or MIL come in and do their own thing, they step on our territory. Wiping a child's face with a dish towel is gross, and microwaves, let me just say we don't have one in our house. I was so intimidated by my mom I just kept quiet then vented to my husband when he got home. She did give me good advice about giving my baby's rice cereal at 6 weeks at bed time to help them sleep through the night, worked like a charm, (She raised 5) and to be more concerned with house proofing my children instead of child proofing my house (With in Reason) that's what she did with all 5 of us. My mom died in 2004, so when you want to get snippy, just be greatful she's still with you. J.

Don't hate yourself. I love my mom...but she and I don't have the greatest relationship so when she's around, she gets on my nerves.

No. It isn't just you.
I don't think it is necessarily "territorial", but rather that we all tend to sort of revert to our childhood roles when we are around our extended family. My husband even says I talk differently when I am around my brothers, lol. So, while not territorial per se, I think it is more that we subconsciously want to prove that we are adults now and don't need to do what Mom says or how Mom says or anything else Mom says... That we get to "boss" Mom, now, lol. Moms have a way of making us feel like we aren't quite "there yet" I think... and so we rebel.
I LOVE my parents coming to visit, but I really have gotten where I HATE going to their house. They are so much more uptight about THINGS than I am, and it is annoying to constantly feel like I am a child being told to pick up after myself (well not ME so much, as my kids... that's a whole different story, but we all live a slightly different version of it: we don't raise our kids to our parents standards in some form or fashion, right?). My kids are great kids. I promise you. We are complimented ALL. THE. TIME. on both our children. Even on their telephone manners. My parents just seem to have gotten rather "crotchety" in their retirement years and it is bothersome. Makes me see them as rather selfish, and I don't like feeling that way. So I prefer they come visit us here, so they have less to complain about. :)
But, yeah.. we all get snippy with our parents. I'm sure our kids will get snippy with us one day, too. :)

No, you are not the only one. My mom can get under my skin like no one else. And we have a fantastic relationship. I love her dearly, she is one of my very best friends...but the woman just gets to me (all stupid stuff, nothing major at all). I talk to her like I wouldn't talk to anyone else in the world. It is terrible, I feel so guilty. I honestly make a conscious effort to bite my tongue and control my facial features every time I see her. I hate that I do that, and I really really try, but for some reason I am only like that with her.

My Mom always says, I raised 5 perfectly 'perfect' children, isnt that amazing, and I know nothing! LOL!!! Its so true though isnt it? Why were they great Moms to us and raised us well, even wiping our mouth with a dish rag probably werent as phobic in the kitchen, but we never got ecoli or salmonilla lol

I do, thats why we live across the country from each other. Its tamed down a lot. Before I had kids I would turn into a horrible 16yr old and we woudl fight. There was a lot of risidual drama that was never resolved from when I was a teenager. I finally just had to let it go for me to have a realtion ship with my mom now. Butu I still get snippy every now and then, I di it more with my sister if that makes sense.