First Time Mom - Dallas,TX

This may sound cliche....but focus on one day at a time. Focus on eating healthy food and exercising appropriately. It's very easy with your hormones to become anxiety-ridden because you're worrying about future events that may or may not ever happen. Focus on the sweet baby growing inside you and living a healthy life for you and your baby.

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I was in the same position with my oldest. I told her bio dad I was pregnant and within a week he had disappeared. The only advice I can give is to stay strong for the baby. Remember the baby will depend on you more than anything and you need to stay healthy. One thing I vowed to myself was that I would never "bad mouth" him in front of my daughter. She is now 10 years old and she still has no clue how much I despise him. I would definately go after him for child support. You did not make this baby on your own and you should not have to support it alone. Most likely they will require a paternity test before child support is granted but it is worth it. You might also want to see if there is a support group for this type of situation. I never needed one because my parents were very supporting. Maybe that is how I made it through it all. Make sure you have a great support system. I'm sorry you are going through this, but you can do it for the baby if not for yourself. Best of luck to you and Congratulations on your little one!

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Sit down and review all your resources... who will you have in the child's life? will you have sole custody of the baby? will you seek child support from the father? do you have legal support to assist if needed? most communities will have a local support groups to assist you - ask your OB for a referral if needed....surround yourself with people who have the same goals you do!

as for as getting through this.... well - we all make it somehow and for me, it is just taking one day at at time... sometimes one hour at a time... and then taking time to reflect on all the great things that have happened since my little ones have entered the world - life is so amazingly beautiful and precious!

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Find a pregnancy assistance center near you and talk to a counselor immediately. Do you have an ob/gyn? If not, find one fast. Your local hospital should be able to refer you to an ob/gyn doctor or a clinic that offers prenatal care.

gl

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Honestly, I think you need to call Gladney and discuss options.

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You should try to get some kind of government help through the state. In most cases they will look at the situation and give some financial assistance especially with pregnancy.

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I'm not sure if you're asking for advice on mothering, being a single mother, or what to do about your car. :) However, looks like you maybe live in a big city (Dallas?) so public transportation might be available...plus, you don't have winter to worry about. I worry about losing our car...where I live you can't walk around during the winter and there isn't great public transportation.

You need to ease your stress, though, as much as you can...for your own health and that of the baby's.

As soon as the baby is born, you need to go for child support. If he won't sign a recognition of parentage, the state will go after him for a paternity test...if you file for public aid, which you should have already done. If you haven't, do so. Get yourself on WIC, apply for any assistance you can.

Start to make a plan for how you're going to manage after the baby is born. You still have four months, so don't get frantic...just work on it a bit at a time. Where are you going to work? What kind of hours? Who will care for your baby while you're working? What will that cost? (Public aide will sometimes help you pay for daycare or just flat out pay it for you.) What do you need to do to ready your home for the baby?

Just grab yourself a notebook and pen, and start planning. You'll feel a lot safer and more secure if you know what you're going to do, and planning ahead is a huge part of being a parent.

I think we're all wondering how old you are, because it does make a difference. Will you tell us?

Hi Kali, I don't know enough about you to give you a helpful answer. Are you a teenager? A grown woman? Do you have a good means of supporting this child? Do you have family around to help you through the rest of your pregnancy or more importantly, once the child is born? Do you have health insurance? Are you getting prenatal care? I am sorry I have so many questions but if I knew more, I would try hard to give you an honest opinion and helpful advice. Having a child is a beautiful and wonderful thing. You want the best for this baby! We are raising our children to be the future of America...please update with more info if you don't mind. Thank you!

Just Between Friends (jbfsale.com) and other consignment events are coming up soon. Check them out (there are several around DFW). They often have a special early entry pass for soon-to-be first time moms.

I wish I had known about these consignment sales when my daughter was born. You can get new (with tags) and gently used baby items for cheap.

Go at the beginning to get the best selection on things you know you need, but then go again on 1/2 price day so you can get more for less. I never shopped for baby gear since my daughter was older when I learned about these sales, but I would suggest buying the bigger equipment early in the sale and wait to buy toys and clothes until 1/2 price day.

I have a 7 year old so I don't need most of what they sell, but at the spring Dallas JBF sale, I got a bunch of brand-name clothing new (all with tags) and some board games for under $10 during the half-price sale.

You can also sell your baby stuff there, so once your baby outgrows stuff, sell it and put the money toward new items for your child.

Sign up for coupon sites like www.mydallasmommy.com and couponmom.com (both free) to be alerted when there are diaper and other baby products on sale. Ask friends and family to save coupon inserts for you and start stocking up on baby supplies. Buy bigger than you think you need (e.g. don't stock up on newborn diapers in case your baby is big like mine was - just get some and then stock up on larger sizes).

Check DFW Freecycle sites (http://www.freecycle.org/group/US/Texas) and Craigslist too for free and cheap baby items. People often post on the freecycle lists that they have baby clothing or gear they're willing to give away. Just be sure it's not something on a recall list.

Are you somewhere you can take a bus? When my car was totaled years ago by a bad driver, I didn't have enough money to buy a new car and rode DART buses everywhere. It's not the best option, but it's an option until you can figure out what to do.

Call 2-1-1 and find out what type of services are available to pregnant moms in your area. Please make sure you are getting proper nutritional care and medical care for you and the baby. Since you are alone, you need to build a support team of people who can help you and who will be a blessing to you and your baby. Are there family members or friends that can help you during the last few months of your pregnancy and after your baby is born? About the car?? Do you live somewhere in Dallas that has public transportation? DART has service to a lot of areas or do you have a friend that can help out with transportation?

Updated

Call 2-1-1 and find out what type of services are available to pregnant moms in your area. Please make sure you are getting proper nutritional care and medical care for you and the baby. Since you are alone, you need to build a support team of people who can help you and who will be a blessing to you and your baby. Are there family members or friends that can help you during the last few months of your pregnancy and after your baby is born? About the car?? Do you live somewhere in Dallas that has public transportation? DART has service to a lot of areas or do you have a friend that can help out with transportation?

Updated

Call 2-1-1 and find out what type of services are available to pregnant moms in your area. Please make sure you are getting proper nutritional care and medical care for you and the baby. Since you are alone, you need to build a support team of people who can help you and who will be a blessing to you and your baby. Are there family members or friends that can help you during the last few months of your pregnancy and after your baby is born? About the car?? Do you live somewhere in Dallas that has public transportation? DART has service to a lot of areas or do you have a friend that can help out with transportation?

Having a baby can be scary for anyone. Especially if you are alone. I feel for you! But I want to remember that you can do it. Babies don't NEED half the crazy stuff you see in the stores. Is the stuff handy? Sure. But you don't NEED it, and more of that never gets used anyways. Start stocking up on what you can now. Diapers, wipes, soap, baby tylenol. And most generics products are just as good as the name brand. Same even for formula if you decide or need to formula feed.
Where I live there are TONS of resale events and shops that sell gently used baby clothes and items. Hang in there! You can do it :)

Check out www.freecycle.com . People are always giving away baby things. You can also ask for what you need. This is a great program that keeps people from throwing away things that others can use.