Extreme Shyness

Get him evaluated by an occupational therapist who specializes in Sensory Processing Disorder. He might not be properly processing things and when everything hits him at the same time he has to shut down. An OT intervenes when children are not doing their job of being carefree children and anxieties are great.

Kids go through phases but this sounds extreme, especially because you are worried. The fact that he is "shy" with you and your husband is especially a concern. He may have anxiety or he might have sensory processing difficulties. I would contact your son's school and have him evaluated. I don't think this will get better unless there is some recent trauma. In that case, get help too.

I think shyness is part of personality. Your child may always be a little shy, but now I think you can help him by not making too big of a deal about it. Just gently and slowly push him out of his comfort zone on occasion to build his confidence.

It is a little concerning to hear he is shy with you and your husband. I am wondering if you mean on occasion or all the time. If it is all the time then I would consider having him evaluated. It would reassure you or help point you in the right direction to help your child.

It is OKAY.

Both my kids, were like that. As they got older, less so.
MANY kids are like that.
Let him be.

NOTHING is wrong with him.

My kids, are observers and very good, about knowing themselves. I am proud of them for that. Even if shy.

Do not try and make him what he is not.
He will grow out of it.

NOT all kids, have to be extroverts.
Know your child and his cues.
He is FINE.

As I said, my kids were like that. I do not call them "severely" shy. I call them "wise" about people and environments...and just developing, fine.

I might add: DO NOT convey to your child that something is 'wrong' with him, nor in front of others. It will make him insecure.
You want your child to be self-assured about themselves. Even if my kids were shy and (my son who is 4 is like that like your son), they are VERY self-assured kids. Because, we nurture them for who they are. Not what others may think.
They are very... not shy. Even if outwardly, they appear to be.
Don't get hung up, on what others may think.
Be proud of him.
MANY kids, are this way.

BUT... the fact that he is "shy" with you and your Husband... is concerning. Most kids, are not shy with their parents.
Is he scolded a lot?

all the best,
Susan

It sounds like a fear or phobia related to adults - maybe something happened where he was intimidated by an adult (or even just observed an intimidating adult) and then generalized his reaction and anxiety about it to all adults. See if there's a way to help him verbally communicate about his fears and remember how it started, so that you can help him see that most adults are harmless and whatever made him anxious in the past isn't present now and isn't affecting him anymore.

Some kind of disorder? Yikes, Americans think our children are some kind of drug deficient-
Check his diet against Fiengold, and fix as necessary.
Then contact YokaReeder.com- she is amazing for behaviour- no drugging your child.
best, k

It sounds more like a temperament (personality) thing to me rather than a problem. But you can always as your pediatrician what he/she thinks and if they think it's worth looking into.

My son, my husband and I are both this way (my daughter no way!! she takes on the world and then some). I started reading this book called "The Highly Sensitive Person". It's WONDERFUL! I am 2/3rd done and it just really "gets" me.

There is also the book: The Strong Sensitive Boy: Help your son become a happy, confident man. I haven't started it yet but it may be right up your alley.

Please know there are many gifts to what your son is. People with strong sensitivities tend to be very healthy (they notice when things are wrong in their bodies sooner than others and get it taken care of), they tend to be very aware of what's going on with others and become great counselors, doctors, mediators, etc. They also tend to be artists and writers and are kind and gentle and feel love deeply. There is much more but I can't remember right now. Like others have said -- value it. Don't let him think there's something wrong with him. If so, he might not be able to fully develop his wonderful gift.

Best to you and your son.

I was this way as a child and in some ways, still am as an adult.

My youngest boy was exactly like me at that age too, 2-4 yrs old was really hard for us, he was PAINFULLY shy...to the point that I really worried that preschool would be hard for him, but thankfully I was wrong...it has done wonders for him. He laughs and plays with other kids, talks and looks at the teachers when being spoken to...he is progressing like gang-busters!

~He is 5 now and is still overly concerned with how he looks and how others will perceive him (last night his preschool had 'Dad's Night' and they had to dress like cowboys, I dressed him really cute and he was so uncomfortable and kept saying 'I look ridiculous, I do not want to go, my friends are gonna laugh at me'), which is sad and hard to watch, but he is getting better and I have to constantly remind myself that I was just like him and I did OK...and I believe in my heart of hearts that he will too!

I just keep pumping him up and telling him how awesome he is and am hoping for the best...can't believe he starts K in the Fall, I am a lil' nervous.

I have one very much like that. I think it comes from it being alot of just her and me, daddy is Navy and was gone alot in the first 3yrs. Also, we moved to another state and was having a baby soon afterwards. There was alot of change. She is now 5yrs and gotten alot better but still doesnt talk to strangers or will take anything (not even a balloon or candy).

We first found a great playgroup on meetup.com and it took her a year to warm up to them were i could go to the bathroom by myself.

Doctor visit were a pain. I have to put the pulse ox thing and the temperature. Also they had to have them weight me with and then without her. We found a different doctor that was more patience and not so loud spoken. We also take her blankety and had to do the reward thing. I got her some small toys to take with us and she had to work for it. I did the toy thing for about 4-5 visits. The blanket still comes. Mostly, we had to talk about what happens at the doctors alot. Since i was pregnant at that time she got to the doctors office alot.

Finally, around family and school teacher i had to get tough and push her to speak when spoken too. If she couldn't say Hi back to great grandma, then no swimming at the pool. At the grocery store she had to say thankyou to the person as i handed her the cookie. At halloween, she we got the candy for her the first time but it was ours to eat. If she wanted it she had to say Trick or treat. She only go to the girls with candy. Still not a guy fan.

At preschool her Teacher says she is still abit shy when called apon but then sometimes out of the blue, my daughter loves to tell her stories about anything and everything. Being in school has helped alot. Its only 3hrs a day but now she is talking to the other moms and being social with kids. I dont have to say hi for her, as she will go up to other kids and say hi, her name is Allie, whats' theirs.

Florida does pay for 4yrs to go to school for free a few hours a day. They have to be 4yrs before sept 1st.