13 answers

Excessive Crying Before Sleep

My son has started in the last month or so to cry excessively when I try to put him to sleep. It hit an all time high this past weekend when he had a complete melt down to the point that I thought he would vomit. I was in tears before it was over because it sounded like I was absuing him he was screaming and crying so hard. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Most nights it's a constant whimper but it can also be a full out crying fit with red face and holding his breath. I hate it. My husband can't deal with it - has to leave the room. I've been told that maybe he is expressing his pent up energy so that he can sleep. I've also been told that it's just b/c he doesn't want to go to sleep for fear he will miss something. We've wondered if it's that he dislikes his crib (which he does seem to a little). I guess I'm just looking for someone to say this is normal; that he will get over it. Maybe someone has some advice or just some comforting words?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you for the responses! It sounds like this is normal and probably a phase we have to work through. We do have a CD player in his room - we play soft classical or lullaby CDs each night. I have also tried to enforce a routine - we change his diaper, put on PJs, play with a few toys or read a book for about 10 minutes then I rock him for a little while. I've tried to give him a bottle but he rarely takes it. I think it's really that he wants to stay with us. He likes being in the middle of everything going on. We took him to a get together New Years Eve and he slept through all of the noise - no one could beleive it. So I guess I will stick it out and try not to get upset so as not to upset him further. Thanks again.

More Answers

My one and a half year old does this periodically. He has done it more recently when I take him out of the bath. Do you have things that sing in his room? Buy a small CD player with lullaby cds to put in it when he goes to sleep. WE have also resorted to Motrin on some occasions. He could be getting teeth and for some reason they tend to bother them more at night. All patterns are normal, there is nothing wrong. Each child has a different stage that they go through at different times. Be patient, give TLC (which I am sure you do), and dont get upset, he can sense that and prob. makes him more upset. Just stay calm and maybe try putting him to bed about 30 minutes later or so. We read books before bed too. It tends to calm him down and help him to unwind. All toys go away and milk and books come out. Then bed time. Somtimes he cries for a little while and sometimes he does not. But he did cry consistently for a while when we he would go to bed.
Good luck.
R.

Yes, this too will pass. You need to have a bedtime routine......... bath, bottle, book (or something like that). Then, calmly put him down- turn on music or mobile or whatever he enjoys and simply leave the room. I would check on him every 10 minutes, but do not pick him back up. Calmly tell him, it's bedtime and see you in the morning.
The important thing is for you to remain calm and very matter of fact about bedtime. I'm sure he senses you are anxious about him crying. (It may well be that he is letting go of frustration.) The crying will get shorter and he will learn to calm himself down and go to sleep. Good luck!

Personally I am not really sure why he is all of a sudden screaming at bedtime. I truly doubt a 3month old can dislike his crib or even be afraid of missing the action. Have you changed his evening diet lately? Maybe his tummy is upset when you lay him down? Try burping a bit? A warm bath to soothe and settle him? Maybe some soft music? Or sit w/ him and pat him a bit? Just remember anything you do do in moderation because you could get stuck w/ this bedtime ritual for a long time. I hope you figure it out, I know bedtime battles can be frustrating and stressful. Take it from a mom of 2 toddlers who just started sleeping on their own room all night long. What a battle that was. Good luck.
ps it could be a normal phase. maybe have friend come observe whats going on because it might be easier to figure out in person.

You probably don't want to hear my response - since I go against everyone else - not that I think it's wrong, it's just what we did.

I have 2 kids (now they are 7 and 4) - at that young age, I don't think you can spoil a baby. We held them / rocked them to sleep always - my oldest never was a good sleeper, typically woke up in the middle of the night at least once until 12 mths old. But my second always did well after the 4 month mark - and the rocking/putting to bed after asleep never hurt him. I think it helps them feel secure. We also swaddled my second better than my first.
My oldest one now is the most secure confident kid I know. Not saying she would be different if we had let her cry it out - we'll never know. But just wanted you to know that it sure made me feel better never having to hear her cry horribly and she has been an awesome kid and a good sleeper now too.

Good luck - trust your feelings.

PS - teething can also throw a real wrench into the sleeping, along with colds and ear infections - never rule those out

I am having the same problem with my son also born in Sept 08. He will have a good night and then the next couple will be terrible. He screams non stop for hours and we have no idea what is wrong.

My sister had to cry herself to sleep every night when she was a baby. It's what she did.
If you didn't let her cry, she never got to sleep and the crying got worse.

As long as he is not being hurt by something, I'd let him cry it out.
YMMV
LBC

I know it's a little late to respond. I just wanted to let you know that I am going through the same thing right now and I feel your heartbreak. I was driven to the point were I had to leave her in her bed to cry. I didn't read any of your other responses so I don't know if I am repeating any of them. I finally read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr Weisblutth. I think that's his name. I realized that she was overtired and it was painful to her. She needed to sleep and I wasn't allowing her to. We are working on a strict nap and bedtime schedule. Her crying hasn't stopped but it is better and she is so much happier. Anyway, I feel your pain and I hope things look up soon.

Hi! I realize I'm late responding, but could he be overtired? Sometimes that is the cause of screaming/crying at bedtime. A lot of babies under six months can't stay awake longer than an hour or two without becoming overtired. If you catch them within that window, they go to sleep easier. Maybe try putting him down a little earlier and see if that helps. Of if he's not getting three good naps a day (1-2 hours each), try putting him down for naps within an hour or two of waking up. Good luck -- I know it's hard!

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.