Do You Go Overboard When Your Kids Are Sick?

Updated on March 06, 2011
D.D. asks from Portland, OR
33 answers

I'm just curious...how quickly will you call the doctor when your kid is sick? I know one girl who freaked out the other day because her baby (not her first) had a temp of not even 100 and was calling the after hours doctor. Then another whose kid had a stomach virus (with vomiting and diarrhea) and hadn't even had it 24 hours and was wanting to take her kid to the doctor. Isn't that a little too quick? Who takes their kid to the doctor for the stomach flu? We all get it and know it goes away in 24-48 hours. Sometimes I think this is why germs spread around as fast as they do. People are not keeping their kids home to rest. I mean, what is the doctor going to do for you for that virus? Nothing. Plus, you are taking your sick kid out and spreading more germs to the rest of us! Oh and not to mention the fact of wasting the doctors time when they can spend more time on kids who really have a more serious illness.
OK sorry - this turned into somewhat of a vent as well!!! I just don't get it! Maybe someone can explain this to me? Or agree that they feel the same way??????

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So What Happened?

In reading some responses - I can understand where you would take your child in if there was an underlying condition or if your kid gets strep all the time. That's understandable. One of my kids would get strep all the time so I would have to take her in all the time. The other one, not so much. She would get sick, I would keep her home. And these 2 examples I gave - these kids have no health problems and it wasn't any severe issue. I can see if your kid has a really high fever or is puking 10 times in an hour. That's obviously different. I am talking mild cases here like the one mom said where she sneezed and her father in law wanted her to take medicine! These are the ones I am talking about!!
And thanks ReverendRuby. I really enjoyed your response. That is exactly what I was looking for.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I'm guessing those people running to the dr for any little thing don't have a deductible to meet or have just a small co-pay.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I go by my gut and common sense, and my child.
Always.
And by my knowledge.

I don't send my kids to school if/when sick or having active mucus secretions or fever. Why get the whole class sick and the Teacher?

2 moms found this helpful

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

I'm with you. My kid has to have a fever of 101 or more for at least a FULL day before I even think about calling the doctor. Even then, I tend to wait a few days to see if his body can kick it on its own. I guess some moms are more paranoid than others!

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Part of the reason for this is because we are so busy teach our kids how run a computer that we forget to teach them how to be a parent. Also so many young parents now have grown up in home with 2 working parents that there just wasn't a lot of time to teach them basics. There is also the mindset that we are too stupid to know or learn how to handle basic illness in our kids.
Look back to your Grandma's day. She and her Mom knew how to push fluids, take temps, provide comfort food, chicken soup, tea or white soda (7Up or Sprite) and just ride it out. Often there were 2-5 kids sick at the same time and the doctor wasn't called until the fever was really high or they had a seizure or something really serious. And back when I was little, (I'm 56) parents had to deal with not only the flu but measels, mumps, chicken pox , polio etc. And parents did it. However in those days doctor's made house calls too.
It's called empowerment. Learn how to take care of your kids when they are sick or injured.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I find that the more I educate myself about health issues, nutrition, homeopathy, essential oils, etc., the less we need the medical doctors. We would only take them in for a true medical need, which is almost never. We do go to the chiro though, as a simple adjustment often does the trick. It's been about 10 years since we've needed or used antibiotics in our home. I have a large family, too, so we do occasionally get sick. We just treat the illnesses at home using methods we have found that work and don't have negative side effects. I'm glad medical doctors are there when we need them, but I'm also glad that this is a very rare thing for us!

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J.G.

answers from Rockford on

Let me tell you a little story that supports your thoughts on the matter. I have a friend who is now 27. When she was younger, every time she would sneeze her mother would rush her to a doctor and have her put on some sort of medication (usually an antibiotic). Fast forward to adulthood. This lady cannot handle having a cold. She cannot deal with a sniffle. She has no chronic health issues, she just never had to deal with even the smallest sickness on her own, and now can't do it. If she has a sneeze or a cough, she rushes herself to a doctor like she is going to die in the next ten minutes. Now the doctors have taken to telling her to go get some cough syrup. When mothers are hypochondriacs, they pass this to their children, who grow up to be hypochondriacs.
I feel the same way that you do.

3 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

I am SO w/ you!!! Ridiculous! It is a perpetual cycle of sickness.
I married a man who comes from a family of "drug pushers" that run to the Dr. when they so much as sneeze.

I sneezed once and my FIL was offering to run to the drugstore to get me some meds. I laughed and said I was fine. They think I am a hippie. Lol.

They are ALWAYS SICK! Always sick from there hours spent w/ sick ppl!
We are very rarely sick.
And funny enough several times we have gotten sick was right after we have to visit the Dr. for a regular check-up.

Vent away!!! So irritating. I do agree w/ the mom that said it has something to do w/ seeking attention. Germs are not the kinda attention I want. Lol.

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A.F.

answers from Chicago on

I am with you -- I keep my kids at home unless I think they need an antibiotic (very visible symptoms of an ear infection with high fever or respiratory issues). Actually, the last time we went to the doc for an illness it was the pediatric ER for respiratory issues at 1am that turned out it was pnemonia for my then 2 year old (accompanied by 104 fever). Right now my daughter is AT HOME with a 104.7 fever and no other symptoms. I called the pediatrician simply to find out what is going around (which a virus like this IS going around) this morning -- it has been 24 hours. I hate to take my kids to the doc when they are ill because they are already immuno-compromised then you take them into a cesspool of germs :( Yech! They pick up enough stuff at preschool!! ha!

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My little guy had a cold and his body went into overdrive and the infection ended up spreading and gave him a kidney infection...this was on Friday. So while I don't freak out, little ones can be scary! I wouldn't have known except he was making too much noise in the bathroom and I walked in to see his urine was dark brown. And my other son has had a cough since Friday so I took him to the doctor this morning and they tested him for pneumonia. My oldest had febrile seizures, so we don't play with fevers in our house. Any fever and we start with Tylenol and Motrin. But I don't call the doctor often unless it's something I can't handle on my own.

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M.!.

answers from Columbus on

I usually give it a week - b/c mostly it is just the common cold.

If in the meantime fevers start to spike and Tylenol is not reducing them - then we go. Or if very funky rashes show up - thats another the Dr. gets a call with right away (our last funky rash was Scarlett fever from Strep Throat).

BAck to you question tho - not sure why. Maybe they are just extremely paranoid.

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

I guess I'm really casual when my children are sick. If they are just a little sniffly but seem fine otherwise, then I will let them go to school. If they have some other symptoms to go with it, I will keep them home. I do a lot of reading about childcare and health issues so I think that helps me to not be overly reactive when my children are first showing the more common signs of coming down with a cold or the flu. Most of the time when my kids come down with something -- like they both have this past week -- a little rest and a whole lot of TLC is all they need for a quick recovery.

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K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

I have a friend that has two kids (5 and 2).. I swear she's at the dr's at least once per week for one of them...
I DO NOT call the dr for simple things UNLESS it's persists longer than 3-4-5 days... Meaning- colds, runny nose, temp (unless it stays over 101 for more than 24-48 hours).... If I see a tiny rash on him, I dont run to the doctors.. If anything, I'll call the nurse and ask them.... He probably goes to the dr's (KNOCK ON WOOD) about 3x's per year for illnesses.... I am VERY big on making sure I give him vitamins every morning, clean his hands if we've been out in public, change his clothes when he gets home from school.. And he eats a "pretty good" diet...

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M.P.

answers from Lafayette on

i tend to take my daughter mostly when she comes home sick from her father's, because he insists on it. and i also take her any time her ear is hurting her. she gets ear infections a lot, and its to the point we might have to get tubes. if its a slight fever i will let it go for a day or two though. but if she is above 101 for more than 24 hours i will call the dr. I often do call the dr more often, but its more of a, i know i don't need to be seen right away, but what is the best way to treat this at home thing.

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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

I know lots moms that go everboard too. I have heard a mom say before that a high temperature is 100. My kids seem to start every cold with a fever for a day or two. My daughter had a fever last weekend for two days of 102.5. We just waited it out, unfortunately we had scheduled my kids for a parents night out at our gym, so we had to cancel. They will not give us our money back with out a drs. note. Really??? You want me to take her to the Dr. on saturday night just to prove to you she was sick!

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I have alot of healthcare knowledge, so I don't particularly jump to call the doctor. If I get a bad gut feeling that their illness is more serious or I am not comfortable treating them myself, then I have no problem calling the doctor for some advice. But, I don't rush to the doctor every time they throw up or get a fever etc. I usually wait it out and treat them with the medications and homeopathics before running into the doctor. Some parents just for peace of mind go to the doctor right away--- I guess do what ever you feel comfortable with! :)

M

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I always get a strep test if they have a sore throat. It almost always is strep. Otherwise I just go with my gut. When I was a new mom I tool them a lot more than I do now.

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Some parents are just super cautious. I have a sheet of symptoms given to me by my children's doctor, and one from their endocrinologist. My kids have type 1 diabetes, so I need to be very vigilant about their health, but there are SO many things that my husband and I can handle on our own. Why would we subject our kids to a miserable trip to the docs office for no reason?
I totally feel the same way as you do.

I know a mom who takes her kids in for every little thing because she likes attention. She gets a lot of attention in the waiting room because of all of her theatrical moaning about her poor baby who threw up after drinking his weight in chocolate milk.
Haha! I guess I am ranting now too!

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K.V.

answers from Lansing on

When my daughter had the stomach flu, I took her to the ER. Yes, I freaked out. She had projectile vomited 10 different times within an hour. Not to mention, she had exploding diarreah. While at the ER for 2 hours, I changed her diaper 15 different times (and I wish I wasn't being serious...but I had to get diapers from the hospital, because I didn't bring enough).

Although, I am glad I took her, because she was severely dehydrated. They had to put an IV in and give her fluids. They also had to give her some stomach medicine (tums and something else) to help calm her belly down. She also had a fever in the 101 range.

Typically, I will call the doctor during office hours, if I have any questions or concerns. But I don't take her to the doctor unless shes had a cough/fever/whatever else for 3 days or longer and anything I seem to do doesn't work.

I'm a single first time mom, and I don't know everything thats happening to a child, nor do I understand it all. If I think she needs to be seen, I take her in. I'm not taking any chances with her life.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

My ex was this way. He thought I was a horrible mom because I didn't take her to the Dr every time she sneezed or coughed (hence, ex).

Mostly I think it's to reinforce the mom that there isn't anything more serious going on - we read so many horror stories in the news and then our kids get sick. We don't want to be that mom on the news that did nothing when our kid has some rare disease!!!!

Plus - I think we go into 'supermom' mode and we want to make sure we are doing everything we can to make our babies feel better!

Personally, I feel like sometimes you have to be sick and give your body a chance to work through it. So, if it's within a 'normal range' 100-103, vomiting every hour or so and it looks normal, normal amount of snot and normal color when she sneezes - then I will wait until the 3rd or 4th day. But she's 10, so I'm less frazzled then when she was littler.

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C.M.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Wow! I am one of those mom's, I take her in when she is sick, I know when she is sick I can tell in her eyes, I was there last Thursday, viral infection, went back Saturday morning for a fever of 103.5 throwing up, ended up being the flu.... I do have a decent copay, and deductible, but I go with my gut when it comes to my child's safety and health!

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A.S.

answers from Spokane on

I think it really depends on the child. If a child has other medical conditions that could be affected, such as asthma, you don't want to mess around. However, if it just seems like a general cold, cough, or flu bug than I rarely take them in. If there is vomiting or diarrhea at least two days in a row I will take them in if there's an accompanying high fever (or I see blood) or if they just have a really high fever (at least 102 that isn't responding to anything). If I take them in for a cough, it has to be pretty bad and it isn't responding to anything since they can't really do much for a cough anyway.

I am considered odd by a couple of my friends that take their children in for every single little thing (and are always complaining about their co-pays) but we have a tight budget. I also have some medic training through the military so I'm table to take care of things quite easily (even a head wound doesn't send me scurrying unless there's an obvious need for stitches or is a severe concussion).

I do keep the kids home from school, mostly if something is mentioned specifically in the policy such as vomiting, diarrhea, or high fever. But a cough doesn't keep them home (unless severe) only because coughs can last for weeks and there is no way they're missing that much school.

S.M.

answers from Columbus on

I always swore I wouldn't be one of those moms who over-react ever time their kid gets the sniffles, but that's what I've become! When my son was 18 months old, he started getting sick every other week. Every time he'd get a cold, it would turn into ear infections, sinus infections, tonsillitis, bronchitis, and even pneumonia. And he had this fun little habit of not showing any symptoms until 5:01pm on a Friday, when our pediatrician's office had just closed for the weekend. Every time he gets sick, even if it's not a stomach bug, he'll throw up because the sinus drainage makes him gag. And he always gets a scary high fever in the middle of the night. So now we're so paranoid, we call the doctor at the very first sign of a runny nose or a cough! And as much as I hate to overuse antibiotics, he can never seem to kick it without them.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Wow- everyone has a different "take" on what consitutes and urgent call, including physicians. Personally, my pediatrician has asked us to call and let him decide whether or not to bring our little one in until my son is old enough to say what "hurts" and what doesn't.

I guess I'm "one of those parents" b/c my son was up off-and-on Wednesday night coughing and we sent him to preschool on Thursday morning thinking it was just a cold that he picked-up from his buddies. By 9:30 he had a fever of 101 and the pediatrician wanted to see him that day- not immediately, but that day. I'm really glad he wanted to see him b/c he had a double ear infection that was asymptomatic (aside from the temperature) that had apparently been developing for several days.

So... if he has the sniffles, we have him take it easy and lay low for a few days. If there is a fever involved, I call the pediatrician and let the person who is level-headed and knowledgeable make the call. He usually has us monitor him and call the next day if the fever hasn't broken. In this case b/c strep is going around he wanted to see him.

It's not wasting the doctor's time... this is what they do for a living. Just like having parents call me all day long to talk about "mundane" IEP issues was my job. Did it take a bulk of my time? Of course, but I knew that when I went into the field.

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M.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think everyone has their own personal feelings on how they handle their sick kids. I don't think that you should bring your sick kids out to the doctors office if they aren't real sick but who am I to say that they aren't real sick?? There are many other ways that germs get spread other than parents bringing their sick kids in to the doctor when they just have the flu. My daughter has had the "flu" twice and both times I brought her into the doctor with a high fever and both times she was admitted to the hospital so if I wouldn't have brought her in for the common flu symptoms she could have gotten worse. I feel I have the health insurance and am keeping my pediatrician's job safe by bringing my child into the doctor so why not? If they are running a high fever for a few days or not getting better after a few days what is the harm in brinign them in? Why do you care if I or someone else brings them in or not? I see parents with sick kids at my daughter's preschool, the mall and Target so there are many other ways that germs are spreading.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I like this question because I've heard on here about how so many moms are quick to call the doctor. I'm not. They stay home, and I'm right there with them. If the fever/sickness goes on for "too" long, I call the doctor.

I agree with ReverendRuby, too... We have to "parent" our children -it isn't up to others to do that (this can apply to SOOO many more things than just taking them to the doctor when unnecessary...)

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

Reasons I call my doctor-persistent fever over 4 days that I can't get down with alternating Tylenol and motrin and pushing fluids.
Rash-a rash that has appeared after a long period of fever, but not one that comes out of the blue(if one is itchy or blotchy I turn to benedryl)
Things that would alter their life if not taken care of-obvious deformity(not swelling), skin that won't cleanup and hold together with a couple of bandaids and not stay together that way(usually due to blood removing the bandaid), breathing-not just stuffy or congested while annoying and irritating for you and your child not a doctors appt but a true difficulty breathing may warrant an urgent care, really bad the ER. Abdominal pain, have they pooped today or had diarrhea? if no to pooping ask them to try and if unable give them Karo syrup and a large glass of water as it may just need to move stool and gas along. Diarrhea-sometimes the body needs to get rid of something, just push clear fluids and if the child is still peeing, has a moist mouth then the child is not dehydrating. Severe abdominal pain on the right side=get it checked especially with a fever. Vomiting, usually will stop on it's own and as long as you don't perpetuate more and let the system calm down for about 8 hours and then add back small amounts(like teaspoonful) of liquid every 30 minutes and make sure they are keeping it down, if not start over...unless your child is showing signs of becoming dehydrated, unable to produce tears, pee then call the doctor.

Also always if you do call and see a doctor, if they prescribe antibiotics ask if there IS a bacterial infection present and if they are necessary. Alot of docs will toss an antibiotic at someone even if it is viral just to appease them. It won't help your child, may even get them another problem and help more things become antibiotic resistent. And if you do get an antibiotic prescribed take it faithfully, on schedule at the correct dose. The only time you should have extra antibiotics is if a doctor calls you and changes your antibiotic due to a culture result showing the current one won't work for your bacteria.

It is hard to stay home and stick it out with sick kids, but the doctors don't have a magic pill and for the cost vs getting all those others the gift of your families illness if uneeded is unkind and sometimes your kids just want to be cuddled and sleep and get better on their own.

If you just don't know, be safe and call the doctor. If they give you an appt for the next couple of days, they feel whatever you described is not pressing enough to squeeze you in or send you to the Emergency room.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

If it's vomiting/diahhrea, no fever, I won't take them till they've had it several days.

If there is flu going around I will take them in at the first sign to get some tamiflu, no sense making them suffer when there are meds to ease the pain.

If there is any fever along with a sore throat we go straight to the dr - my daughter gets strep if you just think about it (she actually has it now) so if she's complaining of a sore throat and it's red we go to the dr. She's been known to get strep with no fever, just the sore throat, so even though it might be overkill on our part I'd rather be safe than sorry, strep is not something to mess around with.

Oh - and I don't think taking the kids to the dr has anything to do with keeping them home to rest. When my kids go to the dr they do stay home to rest, unless dr says they are fine and can go back to school. Don't see where those two have any correlation.

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Hi working!

For me...with my first two kids...I was in the docs office A LOT! I was the director of a child development center...and the quicker I got them on meds...the quicker they (maybe) got well...

Then I had a critically/chronically challenged child...

NOW...if there is no blood (preferably with a bone sticking thru skin...LOL), and if the fever is less than 102...and if they are breathing and a nice shade of 'pink' as opposed to 'blue'...I tend not to worry so much.

I am a different mom now than when I started...

Birth order studies amuse me...it is not so much the birth order of the kids...IMO...it is the 'mileage' on the mother!!

Take Care
Michele/cat

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

I'm pretty relax unless I know something is majorly wrong... however, my husband is the opposite... and he doesn't want to go to the doctor's office, but take our son to the ER all the time...

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't call after hours unless I truly think it is an emergency (my daughter was having trouble breathing, was diagnosed with bronchiolitis (sp.?) & needed a breathing treatment on a Saturday night once). I normally do not call for the stomach virus but did one time as it started after there had been some cleaning done during the day at her school & kids were complaining about fumes. I wanted to know if there was anything I should watch for regarding the fumes vs. normal stomach virus. I guess all parents are different so really you just need to do what you think is right for your child. I do know some doctors are starting to have email available to patients so that may be an option in a non-emergency situation as long as the email is answered in a timely manner.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Well, I didn't call the doc or go in when my daughter had a fever the other week. No other symptoms, so I gave it a night and it went down. I agree, parents need to keep kids home, especially from school, but not necessarily from the doctor's office.

Why do I think that? Last year, my daughter was vomiting -- not even that much -- and I figured it was a virus, but she also seemed a bit listless and said her "side was uncomfortable." That seemed a bit unusual but she wasn't showing any real signs of pain or distress. I nearly didn't call the nurse, but did, and they said, bring her in just in case, at 5 p.m; let's see her today. Turned out to be early-stage appendicitis -- the doctor said, "It could still be a virus, but I know your kid, and this just doesn't seem right," and we were at the hospital by 6 p.m.; she had the appendectomy the next afternoon. The appendicitis wasn't showing signs like intense pain etc. that we non-doctors would associate with appendicitis, so if we'd waited for that stage before consulting the doctor's office, my daughter could have ended up in real trouble. So I guess the point of my story is, you don't always know when it's a stomach virus and when it really is that more serious illlness you mentioned.

Our pediatricians have have a "nurses' triage line," where we can call in, talk to a nurse in detail, and she can advise on whether it seems like something to come to office about. If any readers' pediatricians don't have that ...find one that does, because it does save wasted trips.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

When my oldest gets a cold we go because it makes his asthma flare to the point if he does not start steroids within a few day of a cold it results in a stay at the hospital which is a lot more expensive so yes if he sniffles and coughs for a day or 2 we go you might call it overboard but I call it avoiding a hospital admission.

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

On the other end of the spectrum are the moms who send their kids to school after giving tylenol or motrin to get a fever down. They get everyone else sick . I would rather have someone be overly cautious than irresonsible any day :)

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