Do You Ever Just Feel You Are Missing the Mark?

The chores raisig our children are never ending and the rest time isn't as much as we would like to have.I'am sahm of 2 and 1 on the way.I know my husband works really hard but he is so fristrated because I don't give him time i'm too tired or I to have hard days why can't he understand that from getting up off and on through the nite to up at 7 to hear our daughter cry because she is awake and the rest of us are still sleeping,to diaper changes feeding nap time some time to myself to get ready dr appts grocery stores etc.We only have 1 income and I'm not like you at all to watch other peoples children I have thought about it but noway is that for me.Are you wanting to quit to get some more time for yourself and children.Bill's will always be there we make them but you can do something about it stop spending on what you want and don't need and what you need for your family big difference.I had to LAUGH about what your pastor said they must of had a nanny to do all the work while the wife was resting till he came home.Where is the rest in a days work at home?

I am not sure if this will help, but here is my take on it. The chores can be endless, even with only your own children, let alone running a daycare. I won't tell you to stop that, because, obvioulsy you know what income you need. The only thing I can say is that I, personally, don't allow my chores to be endless. This means, that sometimes my house is dirty and sometimes we searh for clean clothes or bottles, but that everyone here is for the most part happy. I know that I was not happy when I spent all my time running errands and doing chores, yes my house looked great, yes we had evryhting we needed, but what I didn't have was time. I decided my time was worth a lot to me, and that eing able to read my daughter the 20 books she wants before bed is way more important that having clean clothes or a clean floor. Having time for me to take a bath with a book so I feel rested and happy makes me a better mom/caretaker. I have to prioritize, and having a happy mom and kids and husband is way more important to me than chores/errands. I know I have no idea how much you ahve to do on a daly basis (with all those kiddos!!!), but I think a good idea would be for you to look at your limited amount of time, and figure out what you want to do with it in advance. I make sure I get to read in the bath or stop at starbucks for a latte (another special treat fo rme, lol) at least once a week.

Hey Suzi,

Oh man do I know how you feel. It is a never ending battle. Right now I am typing this to you waiting for a mom to come get her son from getting off work, I am on here to stay awake so I can answer the door. It's all a never ending battle -
fix breakfast, clean up brakfast, husband, 2 kids leave for school/work, fix lunch, clean up lunch, change diapers 3 set times a day and anywhere in between, fix dinner, clean up dinner, give 3 baths to 3 kids - I have gotten that down to 30 minutes. Oh and then the nightly cleaning on the house, and that's just through the week.
Now here it is Saturday and I'm hoping that when mom gets here my kids will still be sleeping and I can go back to bed for atleast an hour. But when they do get up we have to run to Sams, go to Babies R us, go to Walmart - theres 4 hours out of our lives, and I can't do nothing about it, we have to go, we need food. Then it's come home and put all that away. and start laundry and clean the floors, bathroom, wash bedding. And it all has to get done today because my daughter is in something for church on Sunday night and we have to be there at 5:00 pm.
Oh but you know what I did get myself this weekend a Nintendo Wii, and I go Wii fit. We got Mario Kart for the kids but it is mostly for me. My husband is going to the gym but it is impossible for me to go, he is a night owl though. So that is for me. For our kids, one part about it is kids need boundaries and when your daughter asked you if she could get on the computer, she needs to understand that she needs down time also, just as you do.
But tonight no matter how much I don't get done my kids and I are going to play the Wii.
All I can say is life is to short and no amount of money will buy us the time we have with our kids today. Having a clean house doesn't mean I'm a better person, mom or provider it just means that I didn't take time out for my kids today. I know in these times right now it is hard BUT my kids are growing way to fast and at the sametime I have to have money to clothe and support them, so I guess I will keep doing what I am doing as I know I will make it better in the long run. All I can say is don't sweat the small stuff. W. B.

Suzi,

I hear your cry for help. There will always be things to do and people to care for. The only thing that will change our stress level is if we change the way we react to the stressors.

Have you ever thought of doing another type of business from your home and maybe the daycare for just 8-10 hours a day along with it?

One thing I do is help others to set up an in-home business that suits them.If you are interested in looking at some of the possibilities - just call/email.

A Little bit about me: I am #5 of 15 children, so I changed a lot of diapers before I had my own. I am a Health and Wellness Advisor and I help people make informed choices and lifestyle changes to improve their individual health and/or the health of the environment. I also help them get started on their own in-home business. AND...Yes I do recommend safe, non-toxic 'green' cleaners to everyone, even those who don't have children with ADHD.

My website is www.shaklee.net/ser_Opportunity
It is my passion to educate young Mom's about the things they can change within their household that can have a profound effect on those that reside there. If I can help in any other way - please let me know.

S.
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www.shaklee.net/ser

Remember why you're doing it all...to take care of your family, yourself included! I would make sure to find time for just you, some time for just you and your husband and some time for just you and your own kids! That may sound like a lot but it wouldn't have to be a lot of time each. Just enough to make sure that you all realize how special you are to each other.

I personally would never tell a child "No" for wanting to read a bible story, but I know it is situational.

Suzi,

I'm telling you I wouldn't be worth a hill of beans keeping a schedule like that. I would cut some out. I feel like I miss the mark quite often and my schedule is not like that.

Jesus said: Come all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest... Mathew 11:28

Bless you girl,
L. B

Suzi,
By no means are you alone. I think that being a mom who either works inside the home or is a stay at home mom while having benefits that a mom who works outside of the home may miss out on, has a lot more stress then most people would give them credit for. I find myself daydreaming not of tropical island get aways but of a bubble bath that is not interupted, has enough hot water to actually Fill the tub, and I didn't have to spend 20 minutes or more Tidying the bathroom so that I could Get into the tub.

I think moms short change themselves by not making time for themselves. As mothers we are aware of all that it takes to keep the home running smoothly and honestly every couple of months I find myself nearly blowing a gasket because I feel like not only does no one else in the house help out but that they take for granted all that is done. It seems like instead of reaching the point where I want to yell at the other members of my much loved family that we all would be better served to lay down some ground rules for some mom time.

I have taken to letting myself have 20 to 30 minutes a day of guilt free mom time. I literally do not even answer the phone during this time, and I politely make the rounds and make sure no one needs or wants anything before I do and let them know it is mom time. Trust me...it is making me a better mom!

You sound like you never get a minute for yourself, I think you are need of some mom time soon!
Good luck!
B.

Hi Suzi,
You definitely need time for yourself, but it sounds like your kids need some mommy time too. A few years ago, I watched my friend's little boy who was the same age as my son. He was a handful of a baby, who required a lot of attention. I found myself spending all of my time with him, and I got so frustrated that I was always yelling at my own kids way too much. One night, after a particulary rough day with him, I yelled at my kids for something really small and stupid. I decided then that I wasn't going to keep him anymore because my kids deserved more from me than someone else's kid did. I loved this little boy, but I had to make that decision for my family. And this was just ONE extra child! I know your situation is different because you're talking about your income, but you at least deserve a little sleep! :) Maybe you could just set some rules, like your daytime kids have to be picked up by a certain time, and your nighttime kids have to be just that-nighttime kids, who stay all night until the morning. These kids deserve some structure too, and deserve to be able to sleep all night (it'll be healthier for them in the long run too) You may lose some of the kids that you currently have, but you may gain others to fill their spots. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best, and I hope you come up with something that will benefit your kids and YOU!

I have a one year old and a two year old and monday thru friday I have an almost two year old also. I couldnt imagine doing what your doing, for me what I do is too much, very taxing and exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if theres a certian type of person who should be a "mom" and certain types who should not be and I am in the later category. Kids, especially young kids can be a very big handful and no matter how much quiet time you get its never enough to patch the "booboo" of dealing with houseowkr, errands, kids, hubby, bills etc all day long. You have my greatest sympathies and warmest wishes for peace!!

Suzi,
Wow!! you need to stop doig over the night day care. Not to sound mean but you need a life. When do you spend time with just your family?? Your family is way more important then money. if you spend it wisly. YeS!! you might want to have a few kids during the day. It is not wong for you to work outside the home either. now a days it is hard notto have double income. you could orobably find a part time job that would pay you more then babysiting andcould more time with your family. Love into being a vendor. I work for hallmark as a vendor. Alot of companies do it. What church do you go to??? I am sorry you have to work so hard. I hope you will think about these options. Life is to short and your kids grow way to fast. We just sent out oldest daughter to college.

God Bless you,

Mom, housewife, married for 21 yrs. oldest daughter just left for college other is 15