Discipline & Behavior Problems with My 5 Year Old

I have two girls just about the same age just a few months younger and the same happens for me. I think it is the age mainly because my oldest does the same thing. I have to say it is probably a little jealousy as well as she is probably trying to see exactly what her boundries are and how far she can push you. Seeing as you just moved that maybe playing a big factor in the situation as well. My husband and I just moved 3 months ago and we had a terrible time with my almost 5 year old. I have tried taking things away and it didn't work for my daughter. I give her a time out for 5 minutes and then we discuss what she is doing wrong. I have also started using a responsibility chart which is also helping. You may want to try it out because then you can reward them after each day with stickers or something little or even at the end of the week go for ice cream if she behaves ect. Just a few ideas. It is a tough age and unfortunately these little ones don't come with manuals. ;)

Hi T.
don't worry, there's help. Do you ever watch Super Nanny on TV? That's a must if you're a parent. For instance, she instills in you that rewarding good behavior is a good thing. Like make a chart out of poster board from the store. First draw it out on a piece of paper. But you want to make it so she can put stars under her name when she has good days or does nice things. Pay more attention to the good and tell her out loud all the time or every time she does something nice. Wow, that was so nice of you to do that for mommy. You're growing up into a very nice young lady. I hope your little sister grows up to be just like you. But try to ignore the bad behavior, because if she gets attention for that and not the good stuff, she'll keep doing it. And she may need some alone time with mommy and not the little sister. Just mom and her out for the day shopping or the park.
Well, that's all I can think at this time. Good luck.
Oh, and let her pick out some stickers to put up on the board. Plus the stars. Oh, and don't put her in charge of watching her little sister or playing with her little sister. SHE didn't have her, you did. Some mom's make that mistake.
T.

its her age, that is what they do ignore you blame it onto someone else, and take forever. I know this isn't right but i told my five year-old granddaughter that I have eyes in back of my head and I can see who done it. She called me on it so I told her that grandmas are smarter because when we were little girls we did the same things, so I know exactly what she was going to do. I now tell her to think of what she is going to say before she says it, because I know the truth, and she won't get into trouble for telling the truth, buttt you will get into trouble if you did something on purpose and it was wrong. We also give them an amount of time to do their task. We go asfaras taking them to the clock and letting them know if it is not done by this time their will be consequences. It also works for when they do not eat fast enough. She sometimes will sit in seat for an hour. sitting in the corner for as long as she is old(5 min). also works. she has to think of what she did wrong and what she should have done instead. then she can come out, with saying she is sorry and the i love you too. I started out with three boys myself, by the time the grand kids came along I had heard it all. It works faster for the grandkids, because its the second time around. good luck

Hi, I just wanted to say you are not alone! I have 8 year old boy/girl twins and a 3 year old daughter. I go through this ALL the time. The twins blame their sister and the baby blames the twins. All three act like they should be an only child! They even blame each other when they are not together!!!! Its life, my sister and I did it, my mom and uncle did it,we all do it,even now,everone blames someone for something. YOu just have to teach them both what is ok and what is not. Thats why God gave you children, to teach them. She will get it one day!
What I do is find what kills them them most and stick to that. With my son,its going to his room,with his twin sister she loves her room so its cleaning up the yard or not having snack time,with the baby, well time out still does it for her!
Hang in there and give her time to come around!

Hi,

My now six-year-old was doing that a lot with her three-year-old until recently. She will still sometimes bite her own arm when I'm not looking and then say her sister did that! I think it's pretty normal. When she is being sweet (or even tolerant) with the baby, be sure to comment on what a lovey-big-sister she is. The more often you do this, the more often it is true. Mine were hugging and cuddling in bed together just yesterday morning.

The best thing I've found with my kids is to make some one-on-one time and be sure she knows that's what you're doing. One day it was just a trip to the pediatrician -- just the two of us, and I stopped into a shop nearby and we just looked at pretty things -- little girl's clothes even and she didn't need me to buy anything. It was just the us two girls being together. Our whole family does this -- we have a teen-ager, too (she needs one-on-one almost every day!). Even once a month makes a real difference. It makes the all-of-us-together time that much more special, too.

Hope this helps!

L. D.
married mom of three wonderful girls

T.,
She is testing you on one hand and she is trying to gain your approval on the other.
She needs clear boundaries and consequences. She also needs to be praised with affirmation when she obeys. She is old enough to have a heart to heart talk with, so I would do that often. Pay close attention to what she is doing and address each thing by having a teachable moment on why it's not ok to do this or that and ask her to give you choices of what she could do instead the next time it happens.

Sounds to me like she is insecure with her situation. For a little while try to act as if she is the one that requires all the attention and when the little one wants something, ask the 5 yr old what "we" should do. Maybe she will finally enjoy her presence and realize that it doesn't take time away from her. It won't hurt your 2 yr old and the 5 yr old could be "healed". Sometimes it only last a day or 2. Or maybe you could take a day a week where you get a baby sitter. I know this must be hard but I do know that you have to be creative and also that it will probably change. Usually everything I worried about changed in the next week or two. Laugh and play alot.....
You'll all enjoy it....

There is a good chance that your five-year-old IS somewhat jealous,BUT she is also trying to be sure that she has a "secure" place in the family. While it is beneficial to continue to discourage the behavior (of jealousy, fibbing, etc.), it might also be helpful to allow her to help you "take care" of her little sister. For example, the next time you need to attend to your two-year-old, involve the five-year-old in bringing you a diaper, handing you something or some such task. Then thank her profusely for her help and add that her little sister "needs" her to help you all take care of her. Once she determines that she is still being loved--even though she may not be the CENTER of attention---she will eventually be okay...P.S...That's a good life lesson, too!

I wish I had something to say to help. I'm going through the same thing, as are other friends with kids the same age. I'm thinking it's an age thing, like the terrible twos. We also have a 1 year old son, who she adores. The only thing that I've found to to work as a form of punishment is to take away time from playing with her little friend. Good luck, you're not alone.