Difficulty with Downstairs Neighbors

This seems to be a common problem in the city, to tell you the truth. We have the exact same issues (have 2 kids and a cat in a condo on teh 3rd floor with wood floors). It is unreasonable for your neighbors to expect that your children should stay confined in their rooms most of the time and it seems to me that your family is going out of your way to be good neighbors.

Maybe I'm harsh, but I think that your attempt to come downstairs and talk about the issues are enough. They need to be understanding as well. Don't feel guilty for tryly living in your home (you paid for it!)

You have obviously done everything you can. At some point the neighbors need to accept the situation just like you did with the parties. Don't let this stress you out - just remember it is short term. Definitely don't put yourself out trying to lay down mats and take them up every morning. Your neighbors don't seem to deserve that consideration. If they continue to bang on the ceiling buy them a big box of earplugs. Good luck!

I wouldn't sweat it. You seem to be doing everything you can to be fair. You are moving out in a few months anyway. We had a very similar situation when we lived in our city condo. Since we couldn't afford a home in the city, we headed for the suburbs.

Good luck!

I have one piece of advice for your neighbors---TOUGH!! You are right. you live in the city, have neighbors and they live their way and you live your way. I just hope their actions don't make it too hard to sell your place. I would knock on their door next time and ask them to stop making so much noise by banging on YOUR floor. I hate how ignorant people can be. don't take it out on your kids. they are just being kids, and probably more deserving of your patience than the jerks downstairs. Good luck!

M.,
Take it from me, there is nothing you can do to make this situation better. I would ignore them and live your life. People make noise. Next time you are in conflict with them, suggest an alternative environment best suited for their living needs. Perhaps a top floor condo or a home. When living in a condo community, one has to expect these types of noises. I think the sooner they come to this realization, the better. Also, the rules for noise are pretty vague in the Illinois Condo Bylaws. This being said, know that your noise activity falls well under levels of normal living noises and would not pose a problem to people because they are making the same noises. Overall, I do not think anything will help you situation with your neighbor because I do not believe they are being reasonable. So, as I stated, live your life and let them write as many letters as they want. Let the association board deal with this nonsense. We too are moving out of our condo because we are no longer suited for this kind of living. Set your sights to June and be happy to be getting out!

you sound reasonable to me. sounds like you have grouchy neighbors that don't want to resolve anything. i live in a townhome and understand wall sharing, and i think its reasonable to have boundaries but i feel your neighbors are being unreasonable. its not your fault they keep late hours. also, if they don't want people walking above their condo unit, they should have bought the top floor. i assume the condo assoc. will fine the neighbors or something like that if they continue not to pick up after their dogs. good luck.

M.,
I don't miss city life! I agree with the two other mothers who have written. You are going above and beyond being a good neighbor. Hello??? These people have no kids, knew that you did, moved into a garden unit, your home is empty most of the day, and they choose to work until 2:30 am???? They are expecting life to be like it is in a house. At this point, I don't think you have anything to gain by approaching them alone. If you haven't done so already, why not save some energy by directly informing the condo association or the management company of your current situation? Both of these parties should be interested to know of situations such as yours. They might be able to help you, also. I know this is extremely stressful. I hope you can enjoy your last few months of living in the city. These people will never change. They should be glad they don't have some college kids living above them. And about that...as you said, you have a right to live in your own home. Even the best behaved children are...CHILDREN!!!
Good luck, M.. When you feel anxious about your neighbors' complaints, it might help to consider the source.

Just ignore them--you are moving out soon anyway, right? So ignore then and let your KIDS BE KIDS! They should have asked these questions of ther Realtor. Since they didn't bother to find out about the insulation or the neighbors having kids, then that's their problem. You appear to have done a lot to try to solve the problem, so I think you should go on living your life and ignore these people. Let them be mad at you--who cares? You are moving out soon anyway and the next people can deal with the "people below". You have normal hours and they don't...peole can be so crass!
Good luck!

I'm sorry to hear about the neighbors. But if they work from home, they easily could work during the day when you guys are out and kiddos are not making noises. Feels like others should adjust to their life style -which is just not right!

It is their choice to stay up late and they live in a condo!! If they don't want to deal with other neighbors they should buy a single family house LOL.

You have little kids what can be expected from them? I wouldn't worry about your neighbors at all and wouldn't do any more changes within my home either.

Good luck with selling your house!

All I can say is ditto what everyone else has been saying. As long as you are being considerate in not blaring music/t.v. late at night or wearing shoes on hardwood floors, you have just as much right to live your life in your home. We have had the same problem in the past with our downstairs neighbor, but she seems to have come to the realization that there is going to be some noise. Let's face it, if you don't want to hear neighbors, go live out in the middle of nowhere! Multi-unit dwellings will have noise! Even houses that are close together can have noise leaks. It's a fact of life in close quarters. Try to let go of the stress about this and realize that you are not doing anything wrong. Good luck!

It is so hard to live with other people. Your neighbors had to have known that their upstairs neighbors had children. It is a fact of life that there is walking/pounding noise from the upstairs units. It is a life lesson for them. You have made a reasonable effort to let them know you are aware and will be respectful of the fact that they live downstairs, but that is where it ends. Noise is an issue for anyone who lives in a multi-level building. It is part of city life. Stop worring about these people and prepare yourself for a few more bangs and mean stares from them, but try and remain positive. You might want to accept that you are not going to be best friends with these neighbors. I feel sorry for all your neighbors that are staying.

I have lived in 3 different apartments in the last 5 years. We have lived upstairs, downstairs, next door, pretty much any set up you could imagine. Why do people who hate noise live in condos, apts, etc. Did they not think they were going to hear you and your family at all. They can not expect you to change your life to make theirs better. I say they need to get over it. You are not being unreasonable in my book. Besides, the people that move into your place when you move might not be so considerate. Good luck, things like that burn me up.

Hi M.-

Sounds like you've got really selfish annoying neighbors. Screw 'em! It's your home too and you shouldn't have to live in constant fear of how you're going to upset them next. If they didn't want to hear neighbors, they shouldn't have moved into a condo situation!! Stuff like this really does cause stress. Hang in there...only a few more months and it will all be over. Go about your lives, you're doing the best you can. Also, they are obviously childless and ignorant.

Good luck!
D.

Dear M.,

You've gotten some great advice and a lot of understanding. I only have a few things to add or suggest. Right now it sounds like the worst thing is how you feel about this situation, the anxiety and walking on eggshells. It might be one of those situations to practice not taking things personally and know that this is their issue and not yours. The most important thing is that YOU know you are good neigbhors and don't worry what they think of you! If you ever talk to them or write a letter, or they do, be non-defensive and know that you are on your way to a place where the whole family can feel free!

I wish I had neighbors like you!

Good luck!

Barbara

Hi M.
I live in a COndo w/ not so great floors. We are lucky that the walls are insulated. It sounds to me that you have made every effort to be a good neighbor.You have children, and certain noises just cannot be avoided. You made the effort to go downstairs and try to resolve the situation. It shows you are the bigger person, even when they close the door in your husband's face. I have a single young guy living upstairs. We have asked that he control his younger relatives from running back/forth on the weekends. It is extremely loud and last for about an hour. My husband workd nights, and goes to bed around 5:00pm. We are expecting our first child in 2 weeks. Im worried because he is a teacher, and has the summers off. That means all day & night w/ his friends and family blaring music or having parties. Meanwhile, im trying to get an infant to take a nap. Honestly, thinking about the situation made us decide to put our condo on the market. We are hoping to be out of here ASAP. Just thought id let you know i feel your situation.
Good Luck selling your Condo!!