Did You "Just Know" You Had Met the ONE?

Updated on February 14, 2011
S.G. asks from Fort Eustis, VA
43 answers

And if you did, HOW? Personally, I knew because all of a sudden, the drama was gone. Not my adrenaline-rushed, can't eat/can't sleep feelings of falling in love-- those were still there in full force. But what was gone was the drama of game playing, should I call him or not, what does that phone message mean? Does he like me or not? All of that stuff just...disappeared. It was just so much EASIER than it had been with other relationships. What about you?

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M.V.

answers from New York on

Wow, what Hazel said was lovely - "having found Home within each other..." That's how I felt when I met my husband, that I "got" him and what he's all about, and vice versa. And a wonderful feeling of safety - that he accepted me and all my faults and still loved me anyway. Right from Day 1, I knew he was "it" - we have been married for almost 24 years. How lucky we are. Thanks for making me remember that today :)

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L.B.

answers from Stockton on

My husband and I were both 18 and graduating h.s when we got together. I had a lot of crushes throughout h.s. but when he and I got together all other "boys" ceased to exist. It was different from the honeymoon period that you usually have when you first start dating someone. I wish I could describe it but I just knew. He had told a friend of his that he was going to marry me and this was before we had ever even gone on a date. We've been together almost 26 yrs, married for 20. I still love the big lug.

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K.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I knew the moment I saw him. We met through eharmoney and I had many many toad date as I called them. The funny thing about my dating at the time Must Love Dogs had just come out, I had some of those crazy dates. But with my husband all of that stopped and I felt like I could be me. The funny thing is he was the first guy I ever passed gas in front of, I know that sounds weird but with my first husband he thought that was disgusting so I just held it in. Please dont get the impression we just fart all day long now,lol. But I am very comfortable around him and he loves the fact that I still have some post baby weight and really does not want me to lose it. So that has got to be love.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

D.

6 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

For me, something literally clicked. I was totally comfortable and never felt like I had to put my guard up. I could be myself and not worry about what he thought. I STILL get butterflies in my stomach around my fiance, even after 4 years. I get goosebumps when his hand brushes mine. We have little moments where we catch each others eye and the stare stays and we smile. We are the best team! Once in a while, we still capture that sense of falling in love all over again... PLUS, when we were very early in our relationship, I knew I loved him but I was too scared to say anything one night (we were hanging at my place)... He got up to go to the bathroom but before he did, he wrote on my daughters doodle pad 'I think I'm falling in love with you'... My heart swelled but I was too scared to tell him I saw, LOL!! I am my own person, but he also completes me :)

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B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes S. ,totally agree with you,no mind games from the very beginning.
There was the romance and excitement but most important I felt so comfortable in his presence.
We were just open and honest with each other.
We were married 9 months after we met and 6 years later, I still feel so blessed to be married to this gorgeous man.
Lovely post.
B.
Ps I am very spiritual and have read that when you meet your twin flame, one of the signs is that there is no drama to the union.Everything just seems right and easy.

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M.C.

answers from Tampa on

Yes. Although I was attracted to him, I think the term instant recognition seems to fit better than instant attaction for our first meeting. I was not looking for a relationship/actually trying to avoid one (I was finishing college at the time and did not want to start dating anyone who may "hold me back"). When he walked in the room, I looked at him and thought "there he is." I freaked myself out ...wondering why on earth I would think such a thing..especially immediately. Some part of me just knew he was the one. I always thought past lives were real and after meeting my husband I have no doubt we've been together many many times. Gosh, that was almost 15 years ago. Fun question.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

You are at peace within yourself and without much science to it, you complement each other even if you are opposites and get mad with each other on occasion. It's like a puzzle, it just fits in the right space for YOU....

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

when I got divorced I hated all men. I met this one at the bar and I was totally sober just dancing and thought he was as cute as can be. we danced and talked and he was not superficial. we hardly ever fight. when he looses it I keep a level head and when I lose it he keeps a level head he is my equal oppisite. he has never tried to change me, fix me or turn me into someone I dont want to be. he is not controlling. he is just him. he is not my male model as far as body but I dont care he is very attractive to me. I love his good side and his bad side His bad side doesnt annoy the hell out of me.
I can live with it. he likes to do the one thing I absolutely hate doing. laundry. :) can you ask for more. good question I love reading everyone elses responses.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I love your description, S.. My own meeting my love was similar – there was a quiet "wow" and not a huge "WOW!" It is the easiest relationship I have ever had. And I simply could never imagine it not unfolding as sweetly and naturally as it did (still is, going on 30 years since we met).

I met my husband two years after leaving a very difficult first marriage, and I was convinced I would NEVER marry again. No man in the world could be worth the hell marriage had come to represent for me.

But this stranger brought a small logo design job into a studio where I was working, and we chatted a bit about what he wanted, and he showed me the delightful hands-on science activities he was creating and publishing. I loved his work, his imagination, his gentle voice, his sincerity, his depth, his easy laugh.

Over dinner that night, I told my 8-year-old daughter, "I don't think I'll ever want to get married. But if I did, a man I met today is the kind of man I would marry."

A few days later, I had drawn the logo and met this man again. Over the next few weeks, I started illustrating his books. Ten months later, we married. Our 29th anniversary will be the first day of spring, and I've never doubted the wisdom of marrying him. So that first impression was a good one.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

The first time I saw the man who was now my husband, I was thunderstruck with just how beautiful he was. He'd been pointed out to me by a mutual friend, and while we never exchanged words, it was just a wonderful moment. I had no designs on him. We were both married to other people at that time --my marriage was on its last legs, but I wasn't looking around. I found out later that he was in the exact same situation.

We both broke up our households a few months later, in January of 2001,our lives still independent of each other. I went off to live alone, and started attending a poetry open-mike, which he hosted. Still no thoughts about dating. We were both healing, and just casually friendly to each other. Around September, though, something just clicked. He had inquired of another mutual friend about me, and for some reason, I was so excited to hear about it, I just had a good feeling. We courted a bit, but I think it was pretty obvious to each other that we both knew that things felt right. Our first official date was on a later day in September, which we always celebrate, and we've been together ever since. Just as you suggested-- no drama, no insecurity-- it just felt very comfortable and respectful. We both knew that this wasn't going to be a 'dating' thing, we were committed from day one. Perhaps this is because we both weren't looking for the flurry of emotional excitement, but a partner who'd be true and real for each other. We've got it, still have it.

The sparks have simmered down a bit since then, but what's at the core of our relationship-- having found Home within each other, will remain.

Thanks for the question. Got the cozy, warm glow going now!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Similar to you, everything just felt comfortable from the beginning. Still very romantic/exciting/etc. that comes with any new relationship but there were just no games going on on both of our ends. Plus, I felt like I could really be myself around him and tell him anything -- two things that are very hard for me since I have a lot of baggage (schizo mom, ocd sister, crazy childhood) and am very private. All of the guys I dated before him knew me only to a certain extent. With my husband, I found myself being open almost from the very beginning.

Great question! I'm getting all mushy thinking about my beginnings with hubby now :)

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M.R.

answers from Cleveland on

OMG.. Absolutely.. :) Before my husband I was with one man and that was 3 years prior and only about 9mnths long maybe. He was my first and when he broke up w/ me over the phone I was devestated!! I wasn't a very outgoing girl (in that way) and was very shy and felt b/c I was a thicker girl unlike my friends that I would never meet 'the one'.. So I guess you could say I had a hard front on for the next 3 year and would tease but never do anything with any other guys b/c I didn't want them to 'have control' over me or get to me in that way.. SOOO fast forward to the three years my g/f (now SIL) introduced me to her husbands brother and she lived in SC I lived in OH.. so I drove down to visit her and hooked up with Juan (my now husband of 8 yrs!!) it was magic.. I flew down the weekend after that and I just knew after the 1st wkend of spending w/ him I was going to marry him I even told my SIL about it..lol Soon after I moved down to SC and then we married the following May (so 8mnths after we were together) It was so weird.. I try to explain love to other and the best way I could put it is.. you live, breath, think everything about them it consumes you in a good way.. All the drama is gone and it's that your just in love. You dont have to convince yourself or double guess you self for that fact.. I think it's a pretty awesome feeling even 8 years later w/ 3 kids!!

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I knew early on as well. Luckily my guy was pretty straight forward and did not like the cat and mouse games. He called me and I would return his calls :) We were equally yoked and share many things in commmon.
I had a few dreams the first year we were dating about our wedding even though we would date another year before the proposal. When he did pop the question I was on cloud 9. Planing the wedding and making all those decisions seemed quite natural and exciting. Of course there were some nervousness but all normal. When I envisioned my life without him I felt very sad so I knew he was it....8 years and three kids later...No regrets!

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B.B.

answers from New York on

Yup, I knew, and I met my hubby when I was 17!!! After our first date, I called my BF and said "I'm going to marry him someday". She laughed at me 14 years ago. But now we laugh at the fact that it came true!!

I just never ever felt this strong of an attraction for another person before in my life. Every single feeling that I had toward him was different and more powerful than anything I experienced.

And, I'm happy to say I still feel the same way 14 years later. I do get butterflies when he pulls in the driveway from work. Not every single day, but often enough that it puts a smile on my face.

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

to be honest when my husband and I first started dating I thought no way. I was the polar opposite of the girls he normally dated and his ex wife. He was the opposite of what I normally dated. but oddly enough we had something there. I knew when we laughed at the same things ( nobody gets my humor) when we could just hang out together it didnt have to be fancy or impressive we both prefer a dive bar to a night club, a really good sandwich to fufu food. We joke that we are the only people that could stand to live with us. We are going on 20 years and yes it has been up and down but I wouldn't trade the good or bad for anything.

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D.F.

answers from New York on

I fell in love with my husband the moment I saw him. It was an instant attraction and I gravitated to this unseen hold he seemed to have on me. He didnt persue me at all (probably because I was dating his friend at the time, lol), but we quickly became friends when I asked for his email and wrote to each other back and forth. I quickly broke up with my boyfriend as my husband and I became best friends. Are friendship escalated to a dating relationship and now we're married :). So, yes, I did 'just know' he was the one. He always made me feel so good, and whenever I was with him , I felt so safe.. like all of my problems just melted away

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

Yep! I knew the day after I had met my hubby! My best friend and her fiance set us up...our first meeting was at their wedding, we spent the whole night just hanging out and talking. The next day, I thanked my friend and her new hubby for introducing me to my husband. We have been married 5 years, with one daughter and a baby on the way!

I don't really know how I knew. I just did. I had never been in love before and with him, I just knew. There was no game playing, no drama, nothing...just happiness. I just wanted to be with him.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I knew my husband when we were 15. We were just friends then (but had big-time crushes on each other). We remained friends, and started dating when we were 20. He asked me to marry him the very first day we started dating. I KNEW because I didn't hesitate to say yes- I had no doubt, no cold feet at the wedding- still never question one move I have made regarding our relationship. I knew because I'm 101% comfortable with him. Well, I'm 30 now and we just couldn't be closer. He is BY FAR my best friend.

I will have to mention something I find quite significant: I have never been half as physically attracted to anyone as I am to him. I have yet to also find a man as good looking as my husband (in my eyes- not trying to brag). And since I have been with him, no other man catches me eye, and I STILL get the butterflies in my stomach from him. ...AND we have four kids! LOL.

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K.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

a

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

yes!, i met him when i was 13, totally not my type but i had to be with him, Im almost 30 and hes still mine. Weve had many ups and downs, right now we are better than ever before.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I made him wait 2 years (almost 3) to date me, and he continued to love, support and be there for me the entire time, and never gave up. Any guy I dated in that time, wasn't right, any girl he dated during that time wasn't right. He never once pushed me to date him, he didn't make me feel about about my decisions, he would rather have me as a friend then nothing at all.

After 2 yrs I told him if he wanted to take me out he could. So our first date he drove 6 1/2 hours (we lived in different parts of the state) sick with a cold, just to take me out to dinner. I felt so bad for him I paid for dinner, and got him medicine, lol. He didn't complain once, and even though he was shaking and feverish he had a smile on his face the whole time.

It was just so natural to move from such a strong frienship to a relationship. Nothing was hard, complicated, scary, or frustrating...there was no worry, no jealousy, no deception, no lying. For the first time in my life I didn't have to gaurd my heart.
=)

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S.E.

answers from La Crosse on

Sheepers...I thought they were ALL THE ONE...Hence the reason I dated them to begin with :). It always took me time to weed them out.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes, I knew on our first date. He was everything I had prayed for and I was VERY specific with my prayers. He is the love of my life and we have been married 8 yrs. :)

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

The man I'm married to is the guy I met when I was 12 years old and he was 5 years older than me. We lived in different states but we talked on the phone and wrote to each other. He wasn't interested in me like a girlfriend until I was 15...but he was still 5 years older than me. My family moved all of us to the state he lived in and we began dating when I was 16. When I was 12, I told my mom he was the one I would marry. It was love at first sight for me, I loved him more than anything. I still love him and we've been married for 18 1/2 years. We have 3 children and another on the way. I just "knew" he was the one. For him, it took time but it's a good love thing we have going on.

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K.M.

answers from Norfolk on

In hindsight I knew he was "the one". When I first met him I felt like I had known him my whole life. It was like seeing a family member, I felt happy to meet him but it felt comfortable without all the nervousness I used to get meeting a guy. It was a feeling I've never had before or since. There was no game playing for us either. If he called he called and if he didn't he didn't . I didn't care anymore. I had my own thing going on and I wasn't interested in chasing him or wasting energy wondering. I was excited when I got to see him or talk to him but I didn't go nuts wondering when he was going to call, picking apart everything he said etc.. and I definitely wasn't sure if he even liked me! That surprised me and he's still surprising me 12 years later :) Fun question!!!

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Yes, I knew I had met "the one" twice and was wrong both times.

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

The games never existed with him, he was kind and I was at ease. I still get excited to see him every time we are away from each other, even if it's just after a day of work.

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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

We both knew within a couple of dates. My husband (of almost 5 years) actually just told me a week or so ago that he almost proposed on one of our 1st dates! This man is a planner, a thinker and NOT spontaneous - just like me - so that really blew my mind! He said he just knew it was going to happen. Funny thing is, I knew it very early on too. One day I just KNEW - I remember thinking "I will be his wife and DSS's stepmom" and that was that!

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M.B.

answers from Reading on

I knew within 5 minutes of meeting him. I was so confident that after our second date, I told my sister "I'm gonna marry him."

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

I knew when I met my fiance. (We were going to be married before now, but we got prego with my DD 4 months after getting engaged... so that sucked up the wedding fund. lol) I don't know how I knew... it was just the sense that I didn't have to be 'someone else' around him. It was funny too, because we met on a blind date. I had dated before, and been engaged once... but it wasn't the same feeling. I always felt like I had to put on a front of being 'better' than I was. Our first date a movie then dinner. We didn't want to part ways after we finished our meal so we drove around and chatted for another 3-4 hours. Then we had our second date. I was still a virgin when I met him, but I slept with him on our 3rd date. (which was weird, because I had been such a stickler for NOT having sex outside of marriage...) We have had our share of spats, and a couple of rough spots... but we are still going strong. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us! <3

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S.H.

answers from Hartford on

I knew he was the one because not only did I love his looks and personality, but I loved the person he brought out in me. I was 27 at the time, and he was the first person I ever felt comfortable being funny around. I felt all the butterflies, but they were accompanied by a sureness in my soul. Unfortunately, all that knowing didn't mean a stress-free courtship (he was non-committal, we both needed to grow up considerably) in fact there were many times that prayer was the only thing that I think kept us together. Now, ten years later, I'm still so happy and feel so blessed to have him in my life.

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F.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yeah, but I turned him loose, ran into him at an event, he handed me his business card and asked to do lunch, I tossed it because I was in a relationship, but...I never stop wondering what landfill it landed in. LOL. He is the "ONE" that got away for sure. But no regrets, if it's meant to be it will seeing that I'm soon to be single again.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I knew the second I saw him, he was 20 I was 21. I was also in a relationship and he was in many relationships(lol). 10 years later we end up in the same training class for the same department. I saw him, he me and it was like when I saw him the first time. Together for 14, married for 10!! Never thought I could be in the same room with someone, not speaking, a comfortable silence, and know what eachother is thinking without having to say it. I love him, thanks for the question!

S.H.

answers from Spokane on

No, not at all. I was just coming out of a long term relationship with my h.s. sweetheart and he was dealing with being a new Dad. We'd known each other for awhile b/c he was living with my step-dad. We kinda hooked up after a concert and I thought that would be the end of it. That was 16 years ago :)

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J.C.

answers from Nashville on

Mine was lust at first sight. I knew I had to have him but didn't expect it to go anywhere and never planned on marrying him but after getting to know him on the inside and looking past the lust I found a kind God fearing man that was a kindred spirit who I knew would put up with me. I would be stupid to let him go so I held on and 7 years later we are still a team. Married 4 years this Aug. I respected him and loved him with my mind far more than my heart and learned the difference between being in love which is a feeling that can come and go and just loving a person for who they are. Respect is the key. Not very romantic I know but he is my rock. I don't have to worry about him ever hurting me and there is and has been no drama.

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M.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yep, I knew the first date. I was 17 and he was 18. We have been married 23 years and have 5 kids. I don't know why I knew, I just had a feeling...

But I think it is a minority of people though who "know" right away. For most people, it takes some time to get to know the person etc.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Before we ever went out or anything I told my mom straight up that I didn't know if her would pursue me but if he did, he was the man I was going to marry. I just knew, it was like almost an overwhelming thing bc I didn't even know him!! Five months later we were married and 4.5 years and two kids later we are two little peas in a pod, well I guess four little peas.... ;) Like you there was not drama...it was such a relief!!!

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I met my second hubby only like 3 mo's after my divorce was final and I swore I was never going to marry again!!! (you know what they say...when you LEAST expect it...) Anyway, our first date was a saturday for breakfast, I felt like we had been together a lifetime! I felt this very deep connection with him and "just knew". Him too apparently since barely a month after dating he put a 2.5 ct diamond engagement ring on layaway and proposed 10 months later! We are committed to death, no divorce for us no matter what. Being that its our second marriage for each of us, we do NOT want to put ourselves thru that again, let alone our children. I am blessed every day with a wonderful man!!!

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

I knew from the second I saw him in high school. I mean, months before I ever spoke to him, I just knew. Then, the first time he approached me to talk to me, I really knew. Here we are, 15 years later! :) I knew because it was just beautiful. Peaceful.

Updated

I knew from the second I saw him in high school. I mean, months before I ever spoke to him, I just knew. Then, the first time he approached me to talk to me, I really knew. Here we are, 15 years later! :) I knew because it was just beautiful. Peaceful.

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E.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I met my husband when we were 5 at his cousin's bday party :o) We later 'met' again in highschool and got to be friends first. It was clear to *everyone* that we were into each other, but I was SO scared to start dating him. It was like, somehow I knew that if we dated, that would be IT. We started dating 12.5 years ago at 16 years old - now 7 years of marriage and 3 beautiful daughters later we're even more in love than ever. I still get butterflies when we kiss and miss him when he's gone all day at work. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else, ever. Honeslty, I never even dated anyone but him <3

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

haha i HATEd my hubby when i met him. he applied for a job where i worked and even though we weren't hiring he insisted on leaving an application. well my boss did end up hiring him (he told me because he felt like he was surronded by women...pretty funny since i was the only one he trusted in the company and i am a woman) anyway he only worked there for one day and then quit and told my boss it was because my training was to hard to follow (i have litterly trained over 100 people including my boss) latter i left that job for a higher paying one and after only a couple of weeks working there my furture husband shows up and applies for a job. i inform him i would be the one training him lol. well he asked for my number, I had to admitt i thought that took guts so i gave it to him. four mnths latter we were engaged two mnths after that we were pregnant. lol i love our story

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

Well. Yes and no.

The first time I saw my husband some seven years ago, I told my girlfriend, "I am going to marry that man," as a *complete* joke. I didn't believe in the institution of marriage, the inequality that surrounds (i.e. homosexuals are not able to marry), or that I would ever marry. But when I saw him I felt a kind of connection and attraction (physical/emotional/spiritual) that I have never felt before or since.

We became friends almost immediately, but were in monogamous relationships with other people or traveling in different places for four years. Finally, it was our time and we've been "together" since our first kiss. Our daughter was conceived some three and a half years ago. We were married a month ago.

We've been through *a lot* as individuals and as a couple. It took me a long time to be willing to commit to him as Wife. I take emotional vows very seriously and wanted to be sure. So, yes, I loved him from day one. But I wasn't willing to make a legal and emotional leap of faith/commitment until two months ago.

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