My 18th month old son has become a huge challenge when changing his diapers. He throws temper tantrums and runs at the mention of changing his diaper. The entire process is a struggle. He arches his back, flips over, kicks etc. He does this for everyone who tries to change him. Grandma's don't have any better luck etc. I've tried distracting him with small toys to play with that he only get during diaper changes and that worked for only about a week. I've tried singing to make it more fun, told stories etc. I've tried being very firm and stern but nothing seems to work. We don't believe is spanking so that is not an option. I'm tired of getting poop all over the place and just tired of the fight at a simple wet diaper. Any suggestions? This is really the only time he acts up or throws a temper tantrum. He is a very active boy but has been a very good listener and quite easy about following the rules, except for diaper changes.
I could have written this question myself - in fact I'm on the hunt for answers. The difference is, my DS is 7mos! Seriously, it has to get easier. I'm off to read the answers. I feel for you. The squirming, twisting, screaming, it is just so hard!
I had the same problem with my son around that age. But I noticed that he would go willingly with my husband for a diaper change. So one day I watched my husband to see if he was doing anything differently. The difference was that I would hold my son's ankles together and up in the air to hold his legs still and my husband would just put his hand and forearm against the backs of his legs to keep them still. When I stopped holding him by the ankles then diaper changes were no longer a fight. Hope that helps.
The only thing I can suggest is have him change himself, get the wipes and pull up diapers for him. See if he would rather try it himself. Have a Teddy bear with a diaper on, have him change the teddy and comment on how good the teddy is being and bake cupcakes for the teddy. Make a huge deal on how good the teddy was. Have a chart with colorful stars on it for your son and one for the teddy. Warm up the wipes also, a few seconds in the microwave will make them warm so they feel better. Keep trying Mamma you sound like a great mom!
We had the same problem for what seemed like FOREVER. :) My son is now 23months, and i think we finally solved it. Whenever he would start to get upset/flip, I would put him in timeout, either sit him in a corner or if he just woke up - i'd put him back in the crib. I would do all of this very calmly and still do if he starts to fuss (in the past I would sometimes get upset/frustrated, and I'm sure he could tell). I simply say "let me know when you are ready to be changed". When timeout is over (when he's either not fussing or 30sec/1 min has passed - not longer cause he's so young), I put him back down to change. If he fusses/struggles, I would redo timeout. The first couples times, he'd have 5 timeouts. Within a day, he was down to one or two timeouts a changing, and now he has none.
We don't believe in spanking either, and this seemed to work for us.
Hope this helps!!
When my daughter began resisting a diaper change, I tried everything. I would give her toys to play with, entertain her with music, try to make her laugh, you name it. Nothing caught her attention for more than 10 seconds. Trying to change a toddlers diaper on your own can be a nightmare! And can turn into a huge mess. A few weeks ago a friend of mine told me about a product that completely solved the problem! I just got it in the mail a few days ago and it has been amazing so far. It's just a perfectly sized arch-shaped pillow that you can place on your baby's torso and continue with the diaper change. it prevents my baby from creating a mess. Here is the website, hope it can help!
http://changingbuddy.com/
Maybe it is time to try potty training (if you are up to that challenge.)
My second son did this, too. What eventually worked is this: I said, "Tovin, come lie down. It's time to change your diaper." He laughed and ran down the hall. I kept saying it over and over again. Eventually, he came over and laid down. Before I changed him, I said, "You need to lie still so I can do this fast. If you move too much, you need to sit in the naughty chair when we're all done. If you lie still, we can sing a song." It took a few times through, but he got it.
Diaper changes are not (and certainly will never be) my favorite time of day, but they are a lot more pleasant now!
Dear S.,
Maybe the little tyke is ready for potty training. My girls trained themselves before the age of 2. They didn't care to be wet or dirty. This may not be the case for your son, however beats the issue of a poopy mess all over and this will also win over the spanking issue. Buy a potty chair and see what he thinks, make a game of it... Also try the new pull ups that give a cooling sensation when wet or dirty, that could spark his interest... Who knows..
Good luck!!
Johnamommax2
Have you tried letting him 'help'? Let him carry the diaper to the changing table, Let him undo his pants, let him undo one side of the diaper, 'Your turn!' 'Mamma's Turn!' let him help put the diaper on, pull the pants up etc. Let him help throw the diaper away. Then you both go wash your hands. It may just be a control thing so if you let him help with the change it might make a big differance. He may also be getting ready for potty training. Let him sit on the potty after each change.
Hope it gets better for you. The calmer you are about the diaper change the calmer he will be as well.
Good luck!~
I agree with all those saying he is exerting his independence. I would also like to suggest introducing potty training and pull-ups. He may not be too young, my boys were potty trained by 2 years old. I also want to add that it is ok if you don't believe in spanking. But if he is misbehaving there needs to be real consequences or he will continue with his actions. (This goes for everything.) I have to give Brandy K. kudos. I wouldn't have thought of spraying him off with cold water. Unpleasant for the child but doesn't hurt him in any way.
have u tried pull ups, my son is 2 nxt mnth and went through the same thing since changing him on to pull ups we still hae the odd tantrum but not like b4
This is not uncommon at your son's age, so don't panic or feel isolated.
I would try the reward system. If he comes to you when he needs to have a diaper change, he gets a (meaning ONE) M&M. If he gets up one the table with out screaming or having a temper tantrum he gets a M&M. If he lays still while the dirty diaper is taken off he gets a M&M. If he lets you clean him up and does not kick and scream he gets a M&M. If he does not kick and scream while you put the new diaper on he gets a M&M. You can try other things like skittles.
At his age break up the steps into minute bits of acts. This should be done with no threats like, "if you don't lay still you won't get your M&M." Instead you say at the beginning you say "When you come to me I will give you a M&M." Once. Then after he does you can say "Wow. You did it." And so on with each task.
The reward system is harder than any other system because you can not loose your temper. If you must scream, go out side and scream--my daughter chased me into the shower one time.
leave the diapers off as much as possible, and have several potties available. check out "elimination communication" website and books (diaper-free baby, infant potty training)
We had a little method that seemed to work wonders if our children misbehaved in public. We took them aside where we felt it was appropiate - got out a little 4 inch comb and gave one little snap.
Linda M.'s suggested site is great. I just read a whole list of tricks and distractions that I'd never thought of before. And there's also a link to read about tantrums, though it wouldn't load for me. (I'm gonna try again later.)
I like Runmama's suggestion of very short, calm, consistent timeouts until the job gets done. It sounds like an approach that will work on many children. Although it sounds like a great deal of time and patience is required by the parent, you're probably going to save a lot more time and sanity in the long run.
Good luck, S.. This is a difficult stage for lots of parents.
My daughter went through this phase and it about drove me nuts. Talking to other moms, it seems just about every kid goes through a period like that and it seems like it lasts forever. I don't know how long this has been going on for your son, but my guess is that eventually it will pass.
If he was older I might suggest potty training (with my daughter, it seemed like an independence thing, and I could have tried that). He's probably a little young though.
I wonder if you used cloth diapers for a while he might learn what it's like to have a wet or poopy diaper and be a little more motivated to let you change it. Disposable diapers have that "wetness barrier" so that kids don't even notice or care when they're wet. Worth a shot maybe.
I'd start with standing changes, that's where we're at with my younger ds often. Even if it's that he's on the step stool playing in the bathroom sink and I do it there.
Both my boys had times when they were particularly bad about it and i'd end up putting my legs on their arms. Of course i'd talk it thru first, tell them I needed them to lay still, we'd go fast, etc. And sometimes i'd have to hold them still for my own safety as well, they kicked! lol
I do give them some warning about changing when I can but my guys also had rather sensitive skin so I couldn't leave them in a messy diaper for long (and i'd tell them that, too).
Getting them in the tub and spraying sounds like a big hassle to me, getting undressed completely and redressed and that you'd get wet to most likely and if they squirm then it's harder and they might slip....I guess it depends on your kid but I can't see that being a solution with my boys.
