Question About My 14 Month Old Son

Hi. My daughter is 16 months and she started pitching a fit for changes about 14 months too. All of a sudden I would pick her up and put her down to take her diaper off and she would cry and arch backwards, etc.
It seemed to help if I let her play a little and told her I would need to change her in a couple of minutes. Or if I offered her a choice - "would you like to get the diaper to change you with or would you like me to?" At least she knew it was coming.
Either way, it seems to be a phase.
good luck.
A.

Welcome to the "I do it myself!" stage. He doesn't want to take time out of his busy time to get changed and he wants to do things himself. Once he gets moving good, he will be running each time you get clothes out or a diaper out to change him, usually around age 2. It is their way to learn controlling situations which is a good thing once they realise what is a good thing to take control of and what not too. Kids that age don't speak really well or know how to get their feelings out, so they get frustrated and that is where the temper tantrums come from. Older kids throw them because it worked so well when they were little, it becomes habit, but a younger one is just needing words to put on his feelings so when he starts say "I know it makes you MAD when you have to stop playing to change your diaper". Don't punish if you want to have him ok with the changing, if he gets punished it becomes a negitive thing... something that causes him to get into trouble. Also if you give him a choice, "would you like to have your diaper changed on the changing table or on the bed?", "would you like to wear this outfit or that outfit?" Even at that age, letting them make small choices will keep temper tantrums under control a lot better.

Always remember when your children are growing up, the best words you can ever think, especially if you are losing patience, is "This too shall pass". It does pass and pass by fast, especially when they get into school. All the little problems you encounter now is just preparing you for when they are teenagers...lol and you want these ones back!

My 16 month old does this as well. I have a theory that it has to do with being unable to stay still. Little ones don't like to stay still as I am sure you have noticed. I dislike fighting with her but that stuff needs to be done. You can try distracting him with toys or whatever you have handy. That works for us. It is something he will get over in time, have no fear. Hope this helps!

Your son is probably showing signs of starting to exert his independence... what we did was distract our son with a favorite toy while changing him. When that stopped working, we put a Baby einstein video on, and that seemed to keep him preoccupied, making the diaper change a lot easier. Hope that helps!

My son is doing the same thing!!! What I have found to help is I get everything ready, the diaper unfolded, plenty of wipes ready etc. I also put him on the floor on a mat or blanket because sometimes he doesn't seem to like the changing table either. I also give him something to play with as a distraction. I also ham it up by saying, "Ooh, ahh..look what I have..". This seems to help a lot in our case.

HTH,
A.

in his mind, he is too busy to stop for diaper changes. i believe pampers makes pull-up diapers that make it easier for changing. he can just stand, not lay down for diaper changes. they are absorbant like diapers (not the thinner ones used for potty changing). otherwise, giving him something to distract is a good idea. or sing a song or tell him a story and get really good at faster diaper changes!

It is just a phase. Our now 2 1/2 year old did the same thing around that age. I wouldn't do a time out or tell him no. He is just trying to figure out his independence. And you can't reason with a toddler. I would try changing him standing up or on the floor. Just try somewhere different. He probable feels like he is too big for a changing table. Our daughter liked to get changed while standing because then she didn't have to stop playing. Don't worry it will pass and then he will go through another fun phase :)

You've gotten great advice so far. I just wanted to add to the ideas of things to distract that they usually don't get...I saw a friend of mine let her daughter chew on the bottle of tylenol. Now, at first I was HORRIFIED--I would never consider letting my child play with a bottle of medicine...but like many other former absolutes of parenting, I changed my tune when I saw how much my 10-month old--almost a year now--liked it. I think the bulb syringe must feel good on his gums. Anyhow, now, at diaper changes only, I let him chew on this and play while I change his diaper.
Another idea is to get him involved. Give him the diaper and ask him to open it. Have him hold a wipe. Ask him if he can lift his legs up to help. Most children cooperate better when they feel involved. I also found this time a great one to practice body parts, "show me your eyes," "where is your nose," etc. Good luck and have fun!!

K.

H., yes it seems everyone of my kids did this eventually , they learn they can kick and do things and yell and it changes you, so they try things again, and see how what they do afffects you , i ignored it, and changed him anyway, i was stronger than him and just did it despite the fit, and kicking, he has learned when he does it, you quit, so you can push through, or make sure he has not been hurt , some babies are sesitive, or boys may have some sesitives, and it may hurt when you wipe him, therefore fear may set in, every one of my kids threw a fit when i wanted to dress them i think its just a stage where they learn how this works, ahahha if their fit changes you , they will keep doing it, if you push on and continue doing what you are doing, it will disappear, if it dont dissappear , i would check other factors, that may cause it, which those i do not know, but other readers might know, any way have a great day and enjo life, D. s

Hi H.,
My son is only 12 months, and has been in this stage for over a month. The minute we set him down, he wants to flip over and cries. One thing I've found is that he is better with changes on the floor, rather than a changing table. We also have found that singing a song to him distracts him and normally gives us time to get it done! Good luck!

Just a phase! My daughter did that also and I would just sing a song or give her something to play with and that always seemed to distract her from her 'diaper tantrum'.

Hi H.,
My son just turned 2 and probably around 4-5 months ago he went through a phase where he kicked and struggled when we changed his diaper. Not fun! He did eventually get over it though. When he was going through his kicking phase I would try to distract him by singing a song or asking him questions or even making silly noises and faces! Hopefully it works for you!

My 3rd son is 15 months old and going through fighting me when I change his diaper. Oddly enough he lies perfectly still for Daddy. I remember my other two struggling and doing the same thing. I sometimes laid them on the floor and gently held down their arms with my legs to change their diapers. If the shoulder is on the floor they will be unable to turn over. They eventually let me have my way. BTW, my 3rd has never been in daycare; the others were. So i really think it is just a phase but one in which you may have to assert some authority. Time outs and explanations are probably advanced for that age. He's starting to be able to do a lot of things for himself and probably doesn't like the constraints. I wonder if standing him up to get dressed and letting him participate in "stepping in" and "arms up" would help?

my son in 14 months also and has been doing this for over a month now. he will kick me and throw things and scream. it can be frustrating, but i found that if i give him something to play with that he normally wouldnt get like a bottle of shampoo or his desitin or a little windchime, something new and sing to him it seems to help keep him distracted for the most part. you could try that. it doesnt always work but it helps. good luck i know how you feel.

It's just a phase they all go through. I had it with all four of my boys. At that age there is so much to explore that they don't want to take 2 minutes and be changed because they might miss out on something. It will pass eventually.

My now 17 month old did that as well. It will pass. My older two kids did that as well. I think they get to that point that they are mobile and they don't want anything holding them back. Thats my opinion. I found that if I did not make a big deal out of it, it was easier.

I am curious how you do a time out with a 14 month old. Not being judgemental in anyway!! Just curios how it works for you. I have not tried it yet, as I was not sure what a good age was to start it. If you have any tips that you would like to share, please email me.

Good question! My 14 month old is doing the same exact thing. I've been wondering what was up with her all of a sudden! I also have given her distractions to play with like a tube of A&D or a headband, stuff she doesn't usually play with and that's helping a lot.

Hi H.!
I went through the same thing with my kids and found that they were just wanting to be like "big people" and stand up to put thier clothes on so I started buying pull-ups so they could stand up and pull up thier pants. A bit bore expensive than diapers, I know, but it made the kids feel pretty good! The other thing I was thinking was; Does he cry ALL the time when laid down? If so it could be an Ear infection! I hope my advice helps!!! Have a GREAT day!
Love L.

Yes--I have a 2.5 year old and still go through this! They are learning they can take some control over their lives at this age, and diapering is one small area where they are trying to gain some control/reaction from you. I have read that Time-Outs don't work at this young of an age...so I'm not sure how effective that is b/c they don't quite understand cause/effect or "learn" from it, but it's hard to know what else to do! My best advice--speaking from experience and still trying to learn myself every single day--is to gain a LOT of patience, take deep breaths, sometimes leave the room if you have to. And learn ways you can verbally "manipulate" (not a bad word) your son, whether that is --"WHEN we change your diaper THEN we go outside and play" or I'll admit I've resorted to bribery if we are in a hurry (i.e. a gummy fruit). Distraction, like letting him watch a DVD while I do it, works sometimes too. And in desperate situations, I've had to pin him down and say "This is not a choice. We are changing your diaper." The fact is, some days my son is totally cooperative--some days a tantrum ensues. Welcome to the wonderful world of toddlerhood! :)

Oh yes its a phase!! Thank goodness this won't last:-) My daughter is 18 mos. and she went through this "scream like her limbs are being ripped off" while changing her diaper for a couple of months. My assessment was that she was so excited about her mobility and always being active, that she couldn't stand having to lay still. Good luck and just reassure your son that you know that he's upset, but that your almost done and then he can get up. Also, it helped if I sang to my daughter. She sometimes still cries during diaper changes if she was really involved in something, so I try to bring a unique object/toy with her to the changing table. It usually distracts her enough to get the change done. Good Luck :-)
~~S.

I had this problem with my daughter and I think it was very close to the same time. It turned out to be a phase and has stopped doing it now for some time she is 20 months old now. I continued to be really firm with her and letting her know that it didn't matter how long she threw her fit that she still had to have it done. I also added in a distraction like a book or toy, but for the most part I just did it as fast as I could and sent her on her way. Good luck hopefully you are halfway through the phase by now!!

It's just a phase, he's wanting more independance. Instead of punishing him, try to distract him by singing, reciting one of his favorite books, give him a toy to hold. He'll figure it out!

It's a phase! My son went through that too. I don't know if it's just because he'd rather be playing than having his diaper changed or getting his clothes on. I used to say, "Let's get dressed so we can go for a ride!" or "Let's get dressed so we can go out and play!" and that seemed to help. But just know that it only lasts a month or two. Have fun!

Ahh, the temper tantrum phase:) YOu will most likely get a pamphlet from your doctor at your next well baby visit because it is VERY normal:) Good Luck!