Diaper/clothes Changing Tantrums

Updated on November 26, 2008
M.P. asks from Evanston, IL
11 answers

Hello. Our 26month old throws a fit during every diaper or clothing change. We've used time outs, sticker chart and offered to let her do it herself. Nothing is really working. I know it's a phase that she'll be over with soon, but if anyone has any suggestions in the meantime, I would appreciate it.

M.

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W.P.

answers from Chicago on

My son was the same. I took it to mean he wanted his independence and got him to start toilet training and even getting himself dressed with a minimum of help. This is a good thing!

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

Timeouts will make things worse. When a child has a tantrum, they are experiencing stress. Imagine if you were stressed and your partner then told you to go sit somewhere by yourself. there are several good books that are worth reading on these topics "unconditional parenting" by alfie kohn and "smart love" by Martha Heineman Pieper and william pieper. A hug and then a discussion about when your baby is big and uses the potty, he or she will not need the diaper and then I would do the changing on the floor rather than on a changing area.

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L.R.

answers from Rockford on

I don't have much advice to offer, since my son is only three months old now, but my friend's son is the same age as your daughter and hates to be changed as well. My suggestion is to start potty training! Girls are typically easier, and you can start sooner than boys. What my friend does is change her son standing up, and she doesn't use a changing pad/station. Usually with boys you should start potty training when they are three, so she still has another year yet!

I agree with a few other responses below, I would start letting her pick out her clothes and let her get dressed.

Use the sticker chart when she successfully dresses her self/goes potty in the potty.

Don't give up, it only gets better! Good luck!

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K.E.

answers from Peoria on

Oh God! Ive been going through that with my daughter (now 25 months) since she was 15 months old. I have been doing the pull-ups since then and now about a week ago she actually laid down for a diaper change. Go figure? If you find any good ideas let me know. Good luck P.S. She also HATES getting dressed so it seems whatever she wears to bed is what she wears the next day. PAIN IN THE BUTT

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B.S.

answers from Chicago on

26 months? It's time for toilet training.. You are the mother, no? You are in charge. We all (yes I did it too!!) allow our children to run our lives and ask them if "it's ok" to do something. YOU ARE THE ADULT!

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D.K.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter is still in this "Phase" and has been for about 5 months now. We started potty training. We bought her training pants from One Step Ahead. She still has accidents (she probably averages 1 a day) and doesn't always want to use the potty, so I do laundry a lot, but she is getting it and every now and then, including yesterday, she has a day of clean pants. We have a sticker chart as well and after she goes potty she gets to pick out 2 stickers from a book. We use pull-ups when we go out, but they are too expensive to use all the time, in my opinion. Plus she doesn't feel when she is wet in the pull-ups. She loves the pull-ups and wants them all of the time, but we made it clear that she only gets to wear pull-ups when we are going someplace special. She wears a diaper at night and she asks me to make it into a pull-up so that she can put it on like panties.

With the clothes, I let her pick out her own outfits and try to put them on herself. She does a pretty good job, actually. Usually she needs help getting the pants the and shirt the right way, but then can get them on by herself. With my daughter the trick was to always let her try by herself for a while and just tell her to ask for help if she needs it. Usually she would ask for help and I would help her get going and then she would want to do the rest by herself.

Good Luck,
D.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

I'm a mother of three boys. Changing them was always a nightmare!!! Make it a game. I would put the new diaper on my head and ask if that's where it went. My kids would laugh so hard. I'd put their socks on my toes and ask if that's where they went, etc. They always seemed to get a kick out of it. When I would get mad, frustrated, or yell, they made it harder to change them. I was always in a hurry because I'm a working mother. I just started changing them 5 minutes earlier. Humor can distract and diffuse a lot of tantrum-triggering situations.
Good luck

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

She's a little over two years old. Try potty training her. That's when I started my two. They weren't quite ready and I had to wait two more months, but the little girl I watch I started when she was 19 months...and that went well.

Make a start date collect all supplies. Teri cloth panties (don't do pull-ups...they are just glorified diapers and all kids pee in them without a thought....I've seen kids four and five still trying to train because they wear pull-ups....save pull-ups for trips to the store in case of accidents)....anyway

teri cloth panties
potty chair or seat for the toilet
sippy cups with lots of juice
coloring books, hand held games???
snacks
chocolate chips or m&m's
carpet cleaner
paper towels
maybe a little tv you can move to the room you are in

Day One

Strip her naked and let her play in the bathroom or kitchen area (where ever you have linoleum or tile floors).

Every time she pees run her to the potty chair. If she gets some in the potty give her one chocolate chip.

After a few times, you can probably put a pair of big girl panties on her...teri cloth. Make a big deal out of it.

If you don't mind cleaning up accidents let her out of the area you started in.

Day Two and on

Remind her that she needs go on the potty about every 15 minutes. If she has an accident or two, maybe consider putting her on the potty every so often.

Don't scold her at first. She's learning.

Poopies will be harder for most kids. maybe watch her for straining. Sit her on the potty if you think she's going. Watch her closely.

** You won't get anything done for about a week because you have to watch them like a hawk and constantly remind her to go on the potty.

If you have any trouble with her, like not going poopies on the potty...I have tricks for that too.

I've trained four now with really great success and little problems. No boys yet, but I have a boy that is six months old and we will be training one day. And I'm curious how he will do.

Email me if you have any questions.

I really think she's ready to train.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter is almost 8 months and does this now. She does not want to get changed. I give her a diaper to play with while I change her. Maybe giving yours a toy she can only play with while changing or put a timer on and race against the clock so to speak would help a little. Maybe this is her cue to potty train. Or if you have not tried it yet, make an activity she really likes that she cannot do until changing is over. If she refuses to chagne, then she cannot do it. I hope mine is done with this by the time she is 2 but you never know.

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

M.,

I would suggetst that you begin changing the wet diapers with your child standing and put him/her on the potty for a little while. With dirty diapers I would reccommend changing them whichever way works but make sure you still have your chld sit on the potty. Maybe sitting on the potty could be made into a reward like when he/she sits on the potty it could be story time or drawing time while sitting. My little one is 16 months and he has begun to thow fits too! I am training him to sit on the potty when I change his diaper and to go to the bathroom when he is going poop. Then we change him in the bathroom and flush his poop down the toilet. He is beginning to feel like a big boy being able to use the bathroom like his older brother.

Good Luck!

M.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

Potty train her.

Teach her to put on her own clothes.

It's not too young, not at all.

In the mean time, change her diaper standing up. It helps them feel better about the changing. I start standing up changes about 10 mos old and it is so much easier.

N.

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