Depression and Suicidal

Look, you are making this trich FAR TOO IMPORTANT in the grand scheme of things. And you are causing yourself a lot of trouble because you are too myopic about this whole thing.

Please get some counseling. You really need to talk to a psychiatrist and get on medication. What you are talking about here is WAY overboard and is so drama-filled that you have worked yourself up into illogical and irresponsible behavior and feelings.

Go get help before you end up with legal troubles or in the hospital with a nervous breakdown or worse.

For now, I would forget about dating, your ex, the guy friend you slept with ... just say 'I'll deal with that later.' Plenty of time to think about all that and process it (and gain wisdom from it, which is what experience is in our 20's) - later on.

Get an HIV test and be done with the worrying.

I went through the same fear in my mid twenties. For me, my ex had been promiscuous and before I dated anyone new, I had the HIV test. It is nerve wracking because while you wait, you think what if ... realistically speaking, it's not that likely, but just get it done. Then you can put this behind you.

As for all the drama .... realize that's what it is and you have been drawn to it. Harassing the guy about the STD results ... to me that sounds like you are not coping well, and that's where a counsellor can come in, and make all the difference. You don't seem to have a shut off button - that stops you from doing things that you will regret, later on. You need that - especially in your 20's. I was educated and smart - and made stupid decisions in my early 20's. I recovered. I never made those same mistakes again.

I have a lot more years under my belt than you, so please believe me when I tell you that although your this problem may seem absolutely huge to you, it's really not.

Some people make huge financial mistakes. Some make huge parenting mistakes. Others make mistakes that end their careers. And some make health mistakes. I live down the street from a guy that smoked half his life and now has lung cancer. But instead of lamenting his mistake, he's recognized that although his past actions may have been foolish, he can't change them. Instead, he makes the best of the current situation.

This does not need to define you as a person. You can still date people. When the time is right to become sexually intimate (and I really believe that shouldn't be something that happens after only a few dates), then you'll have a mature conversation with that person about your history and his history. It's a conversation that two mature adults should always have before being intimate, even if you haven't been diagnosed with anything.

Please consider getting some professional help to deal with your anxiety. Find someone who can help you put this in perspective.

If you are 25 and have multiple degrees, then you are smart enough to know that bright people aren't perfect. They make decisions that turn out not to be good for them. But they put things in perspective, and they move on.

You are letting your fears take over your thinking processes, and as a result, you are not thinking. For example, you would absolutely not be having HIV symptoms at this point, not at all! You have, probably, had things like a cold, a flu, a yeast infection or a strep throat over the course of your life, but you don't say "I have a virus in me," "I have a fungus in me," or "I have a bacterium in me." We all have microbes and bacteria in us all the time, and most of them are beneficial and keeping each other in check. So stop thinking of trich as "a parasite." There are lots of wonderful people whom you know well who have had trich or herpes or gonorrhea, and you're talking to many right here on Mamapedia. You are. Those are the odds. Everyone is going on with their lives, getting treatment and being more careful in the future. None of us are saying, "Who would want someone who..."

You need to stop harassing the man you slept with. It will do no good. You proceed with your own testing and health results in a sensible fashion. It's highly unlikely that you have contracted HIV - it doesn't go hand-in-hand with trich or any other STI. But making yourself a nuisance and having a restraining order issued is not going to help you at all.

Stop thinking about who is with another woman. And as for the man who wants to take you on dates - that's up to you, but you need to separate "dinner" from "sexual activity," not just now but in the future.

But it's true that you cannot calm down by yourself. You need professional help because this anxiety is going to be a much bigger problem than any STI will ever be. It will not go away by itself. You must call your doctor tomorrow and ask for a referral to a counselor who deals with these issues and who will accept your insurance. This is your priority - and it's just as important for your mental health as the doctor visits and tests are for your physical health. They are equally important. You cannot talk yourself out of this on your own. You cannot solve it through a man who provides you emotional support, or through your mother, or through Mamapedia. It's great that you have all of these different "spokes" in the "support wheel" but you need in-depth, objective, professional help. It's not forever, but it's necessary now.

You can get through this.

call your dr and tell them that your recent situation has depressed you and that you are thinking this way, they will refer you to the proper professional to help you mentally deal with this and move on.

Make an appointment to talk to a counselor to work through your emotions. It'll help you get your thoughts in some kind of order that will allow you to put this behind you and move forward. This is just an experience that's on the road to make you the person you are. Nothing more, nothing less.

I'd recommend not dating anyone at this point. You work on you and once you are whole again you can think of giving your time and energy to others.

If you are really feeling suicidal then put down the computer and call a suicide prevention hotline.
Seek help from a counselor until you are emotionally stable.
Do not date until you have pulled yourself together.
Give it 6 months.
You need to figure out who you are when you are not in a relationship so you know who you are when you are in a relationship.
Jumping from guy to guy is not going to make you feel any better and you risk making things worse.
Forgive yourself - everyone makes mistakes.
Just don't keep making the same mistake over and over again.

Since you have a good job, you have benefits. I suggest that you immediately look at your benefits package. Most benefit packages come with an accessory package that provides you immediate access to a therapist that helps you through immediate life crises. It's often called "work-life balance" benefits or "lifesolutions" benefits or (since you are an educator) "faculty and staff assistance" benefits. Make an appointment. They will help you with a few immediate appointments, and if things haven't settled down by then, they will help you find a therapist that accepts your health insurance for longer term counselling. Call them today.

You obviously have learned from your mistake. Please stop beating yourself up. You are human just like the rest of us. It's a shame you caught an STD but this is a curable one. Be grateful, move on and don't let this happen again. You have been given a second chance. Some people aren't so lucky. Take this gift and be the best you can be.

I'm curious what your advice would be if this happened to your friend. Surely you would tell her not to allow this to ruin her life and to learn from this experience but to move on. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed to any of us. Don't waste time. Be kind to yourself. <<hugs>>

B.,

You need medical help. NOW. Call lifeline.
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

You need to stop calling the guy who gave you the STD. STOP. NOW. You can get harassment charges filed against you. He might even get a restraining order. STOP. HIS results are NOT going to change YOUR results.

You have NO control over the results. You are freaking out over something you cannot control. You NEED HELP. Get it. Writing on a board is NOT giving you the help you need. Please don't let this ONE incident affect your whole life. Trich is the EASIEST STD to get rid of. Yeah - it's a parasite. Okay. You've learned to NEVER have unprotected sex again.

You aren't that ashamed - you've confided in a man. This man doesn't care about the STD. Yet you shared with him - WHY? You trusted him enough to tell him - now you are pushing him away? WHY? You're NOT going to rush out and have sex with him, are you? Why not date him and get to know him? Don't have sex to keep him around - date for six months to a year and form a relationship based on friendship - not on sex. You're making this about sex.

Your ex is your ex for a reason. Leave him in your past. Why are you trying to go back instead of moving forward???

You had a momentary lapse of reason - you let your hormones control you. You will never allow that to happen again. You've learned from this piece of your history. Now stop making it the next chapter of your life.

Please call lifeline. Tell them everything you've told us and close this chapter of your life - learning from it - but not letting it define who you are. So you had an STD - many people have. One of my closest friends has herpes. she got it from her first sexual experience. She is happily married now and even has a child. She didn't let that episode dictate her life. Neither should you.

You are totally not alone. While it is scarey I have been tested for both, about thirty plus years ago and lived to tell about it, had children, got married again and am proof that no matter what decisions you can make, or mistakes you can come out of this in a positive vein. Good luck to you and if you have to get some counseling to get on your with your life, You are still smart, intelligent, beautiful and sounds like a definitely kind person.So don't worry any longer.

Trichomoniasis is the most common curable STD. In the United States, an estimated 3.7 million people have the infection.

It sounds like you need a little time. To get through HIV testing and to make sure your body is healthy enough to have sex when you want to again.

It happens. STD's happen to the best of people.

Please don't feel bad. You made a mistake and are learning some very important lessons from it. Use condoms and don't have sex with just anyone. Make sure you are emotionally ready and that the person you share your body with is just as committed as you are to the relationship.

nope. Don't believe you.
There is no WAY that you have two degrees and are an educator and you writing/English is this bad.
So...if I don't believe THAT then I probably don't believe your novel/story that you wrote.
Buh bye!