Daughter Scared of the Dark

Hi!
My, now 6 year old, went through that too. What we found that really helped her was turning some soft music on in her room. We just placed a cheap radio in her room, tuned it to a classical music station, and put it where she couldn't get to it to change it or turn it up. After a couple of weeks, I made the night light "dissapear", and she went right to bed.
Hope this helps!

My kids slept with a lamp on for a long time. I think they develop a bigger imagination at your daughter's age, and that contributes. My kids had to just outgrow it in their own time. K. R.

I had the same problem with my 5 year old. i finally figured out that she was having night terrors and that we were leaving the closet doors open in her room. The night terrors have since subsited however if we fail to close the closet doors she wakes up screaming and saying that there is a monster in her closet.Good luck

All 3 of my kids began sleeping in the dark, then needed some sort of light about the same age as your daughter. I think this is normal. We didn't do scary movies, books, etc. (still don't). My two oldest have grown out of it, and my daughter, 10, still likes some light at night. I would think that as long as she can sleep with light on, don't make too big of a deal of it. Our jobs are to make them happy and secure, and if that means leaving a light on, then so be it. Small price to pay for their sense of security.

My daughter was never scared of the dark, but I remember being terrified when I was a child! Nothing would soothe me. I had a vivid imagination and even during the day imagined devils under my bed, would refuse to walk on the floor (only on my dirty clothes that lay on the floor). My parents were pretty patient with me. I slept with the light on in my room for a long time (years? I'm not sure). The put up with fairly regular visits to their room, and for a while I could stay in bed with them, but then after a while they just had me stand beside their bed talk to them until I got sleepy again. And then, I grew out of it. I have no recolection of how I grew out of it. I think peer pressure had a bit to do with it. (sleepovers with friends who wanted the light shut out, etc)

Sorry I can't be more helpful, but your child might be like me... having a vivid imagination. If its any help, I have grown up to be a regular person, a nice career, etc... but I still get freaked out by the dark occasionally, esp. when my husband is out of town. But don't we all?

Best of luck,

R.

My daughter, who is now 5, did the same thing when she was 4. I don't know how much you tell your daughter about God but the Veggie Tales have a song called "God is bigger than the boogie man". When her fear of the dark and going to sleep at night started is when we first found that song and she started listening to it. We also explained to her that no one and nothing in this world is bigger than God and that he loves her and will protect her. From that point on she had no problem going to bed as long as she either heard the song or if we sang it to her at bed time. And of course it was just a stage and she grew out of it, the song just helped the process for the time being. I hope you find what will comfort your little one. Take care and God Bless!

It is a phase that most children go through. My son sleeps with his lamp on and he has since he was 3. He has no problems going to sleep with the lamp on so I don't worry about it. I personally don't see anything wrong with leaving the lamp on for her and I wouldn't take it away. I always sleep with the tv on or my closet light on just because I don't like to sleep in the dark either. It's comforting for her and that's all that matters. Is there a reason that you insist on taking away the light??

To ease your frustration, just let her sleep with the light.
I'm 27 and have a night light in my bedroom, its more just to see where I'm going. My son is 13 months and has a night light in his room and I'm not bothered by it. If it helps him sleep, then great! That means I get to sleep.
Maybe try a small fan to make a gently noise or even a white noise machine that you can use for babies to help them sleep. My problem sleeping is the sound of "quite". If its completely quite I can't sleep so we run an oscolating fan all the time.
She'll more than likely outgrow it as she gets older, but just give her time.

Why are you so set against the night light? If that is what helps her go to bed without the stress, than I'd just do it. She'll grow out of the phase and may not need the light any more, but if she does, so what?

My 5yo daughter has always had a night light, which started mainly so I can see where I'M going in the middle of the night. Then you add the pink glitter lava lamp and globe that changes colors (I turn all off but the night light before I go to bed) and sometimes the hall bath light so that she can 'read' a book to her 'babies' before going to sleep. Even I have a night light in my bathroom so I can see things when I wake up in the middle of the night.

I just feel that if it helps the situation and it doesn't hurt anything, then do what it takes to make the bedtime routine a comforting one.

Good Luck!

My son hit this phase too, around 4 years of age. I got him a flashlight to sleep with and it really helped.

Hi H.! You sound like a great mom. Your husband sounds like a great dad. Looks like you've covered all the bases. If this were me and my kiddo here's what I would do after doing everything you've done so far. I would turn off the lights and get in bed with her and hold her tight and speak reassuring whispers to her until she falls asleep. Also while you're there next to her you can get in her zone and ask her if anything is bothering her and momm and daddy love her and she is really growing up fast and becoming a rgeat little girl, etc. Sounds like a confidence issue with a little bit of wanting some more mommy time. She's still your little baby! Give her some love and eventually she will be sleeping solo and in the dark.

Hi H., my 4 yr. old boy has the same problem. I think it's just a case of active imagingation. To get him to sleep every night I read a story in bed and then turn off the lights and I lay down with him till he goes to sleep. 50% of the time he wakes me up in the middle of the night cause he is scared and I have to put him back to bed or he just ends up sleeping with me. (this is why my husband and I got the king size bed). I know this probably is not the greatest advice but it works for me now. It has been my experience that they do grow out of it within a year. Consistency with whatever plan you choose helps alot! It has definately screwed up my sleeping through the nights and I have 5 older children that make this difficult sometimes and then when I do get to sleep, my oldest will come home from work or whatever and wake me up, he's 18. Come to think of it...I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in 18 years LOL.
Don't worry it will get better in enough time for you to go through this with your second daughter. :) Hang in there, my thoughts and good wishes are with you.
From one tired mom to another,
M.

My son is 7 years old and still afraid of the dark, he leaves a little lamp on in his room every night. I have tried to get him to go without it as well but no luck I have also tried turning it off when he is asleep but then he wakes up and freaks out because it is not on. I look at it as this is his security, we all have one whatever it may be. And if this is all he needs a light on every night I know that he will grow out of it someday. It is something that I wouldn't push too much as you will start more problems.

Good luck, S.

Is she scared of something in particular? Our boys (4 and 5) say they are scared of the dark, too. We just leave the hall light on and leave a light on in the living room so that if they need to get up in the middle of the night, they can find their way to our room. As long as I leave a light on for them, they are fine, so I just leave it on. Hopefully they will grow out of it one day.

how strange my four year old son is doing the same thing, whatever you do dont let her watch tv at bedtime its the worst thing i ever did cuz it is a pain to break that habit. i bought him that electronic roboraptor thing and it has a motion sensor on it. i put that at the foot of his bed after i explained the motion sensor thingy and how it works, that seems to work really well cuz if anything moves the roboraptor picks up and will "scare" it out.

I know parents who have done all the stuff you've done, some with good results and some not. I think I'm with Becca, who says by trying stuff to get rid of the monsters, you are confirming their existence. I remember a story one of my professors told about his son, who was complaining about being in the gymnasium at his school because there was some sort of monster in there. On the weekend, he took his son down to school to show him the monster, and it turned out that the sun streaming in through a clerestory window was casting a huge shadow because of the basketball goal, and the shadow was moving across the room as the sun moved! By talking to his son about the shadow and showing how he could break the shadow by holding something up between the window and the goal, he was able to ease his son's fears.

On the other hand, there might not be a particular thing - just a general fear. I think a night light is probably a good alternative. Good luck to you. I know everyone in your house will sleep easier when you figure this one out!

S.

Vision troubles can make the chasm of darkness more frightening. Noises that can't be immediately identified can also play on her imagination. She's only 4 and will grow out of it. If the light bothers y'all then shut her door or sleep with masks on.

As odd as it sounds, and maybe being a former teacher you can appreciate this, I got the book "Go Away Big Green Monster" and we read it religiously. So she knew what to say and it seemed to help. If she sees something scary, I have heard her say, "Go away!"
She also has the light on as well. We modified it until we moved recently where she picked out her OWN nightlight which was a Christmas Tree and Santa Claus. She loved that which helped to get rid of the BIG light.
Good luck!