Cry It Out Method - Bothell,WA

Hi, N.. First, let me preface by saying I am not a cry-it-out hater. I do believe if this method is going to be used that it be last resort and done correctly (not under 10 months). However, I understand being sleep deprived and desperate.
Have you thought about bringing the crib into your room (sometimes just hearing your breathing in the room is comforting to baby, let's them know you are right there)? Or placing baby in a bassinet or hanmock (something that offers a more cozy, womb-like experience)? And what's wrong with touching your baby when she is crying in her crib? A simple pat or rub on the back teaches her you care that she is distressed and is calming (let alone helps stimulate growth).
6 months is still so young. Scientific research states that at this age babies can't manipulate their parents and that their cries are always for a real need. The need for their mom is as strong and important as their need for food.
I'm not trying to preach or make anyone feel bad, just wanting to explore some other options so baby's and mommy's needs can both be met. I totally understand being tired and frustrated but (sigh) no one said having a kid was easy. We grown-ups tend to want our kids to hurry up and become self-sufficient too fast. It takes time, and you'd be surprised with how well kids learn to self-soothe when they feel secure in knowing that you are there for them. Building that foundation of trust and dependency first is what really helps baby feel secure enough to move into being independent. I have no doubt you are a wonderful, caring momma (why else would you post on here if you didn't care). Have a wonderful time with your precious little one and God bless!

Maybe you need to be more confident that you are doing the right thing. Confidence is contagious and babies can tell if you are confident or if you feel kind of guilty. With all that " baby will turn be permanently damaged" advice it's hard not to feel a little guilty. I noticed when I decided to do that for my daughter, I was so much happier because I had better sleep. And a happy mom is good for a baby right? I think you know what you and your baby need. Of course, maybe you are totally confident about it! ~ Whatever the case I hope all goes well for you and your baby!! :)

I think babies don't have much in the way of choices on how to express themselves, hence the crying. It's their biggest "go-to" choice for communicating for any number of things. Hungry, tired, dirty diaper, frustrated, etc.

With sleeping, I think that "crying it out" is one of any number of things that happens with our babies when they are learning to do the very, very valuable skill of self-soothing. It's a very precious thing. When they learn to self-soothe they are probably getting something that might be able to serve them throughout their entire lives. (I sure wish I was better at it!!)

If you like books, my favorite sleep book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. Some of the material in the beginning is a little dense, medically, but once you get into the chapters of the book itself it has a lot of great personal stories, and also, what I appreciated, it has more than one option, multiple points of view and options on things to try.

Our kids did well, and so do my granddaughter, nieces and nephews, with a pretty regimented routine for most days. Then it can be broken from time to time without too much trouble. Everything isn't always in the same order, but pretty much we go from dinner to playing/ dancing/ large muscle activity (at 9 months for example, it's practice walking with hands held) to wear them out a bit, next bath time, then into pj's, read a book or two, breastfeeding/ bottle/ drink of water, brush teeth, say prayers, rock, and off to bed. As I said, it's not necessarily ALL this, but it all leads in the direction of bed and helps wind down from the day. Some friends hold the baby until they fall asleep, but I didn't have that kind of stamina so I put them down still a little bit awake. My children had a decompression cry-down of 5-10 minutes for a fairly quiet day to 20 or 30 minutes if we'd had a major family gathering or had been mall shopping (high level of stimulation). We'd hold them through the cry-down, walking or rocking, until they got sleepy. Our granddaughter is getting past her cry-down phase at age 9 months and pretty much goes to bed on schedule, as long as the schedule has been reasonably maintained (nap and bed times within an hour of the standard time). Consistency seems to help in all the cases, and the evening routine seems much more important than the pre-nap ones. For those nights they just don't want to shut their eyes, with our kids we played their 20-minute mobile, but we cave after about 10 min. with our granddaughter and nieces/nephews. We pick them up, hold them while staying in the bedroom for 5-10 minutes, and put them back down, maybe patting their back for 5 min if it seems to help. I just can't do the no-contact thing, and for all the kids this nearly always works. If they make it through a couple holding and back-to-bed rounds, we let them get up for an hour and try again. So these are just some observations, best wishes!!

First of all, why are you waking her up to nurse? If she's sleeping thru what might be a meal time, let her sleep. The goal is to sleep thru the night. Nurse her before her bedtime. Then make sure she's dry for the night, double diapers, and burp her. Then rock her to sleep. You don't need to just lay her down and hope she goes to sleep on her own, rock her, snuggle her and let her fall asleep in your arms. Then put her sound asleep in her own bed. Make sure that she was swaddled. It will help, greatly. She's a baby and they need the assurances that you are there. They long for the contact. With this method you can sleep in your own bed and she in her's. You can't expect to reason with a 6 mo old infant. And don't wake her up to nurse. Let her sleep so you can get some uninterrupted sleep as well.

I sleep trained my daughter at about 4 months old. She is now 14 months old. I notice she goes through phases where she will cry for a little while before she falls asleep. It's okay if they do that. Try not to let it stress you out. That's what happened to me. It's normal and fine. Sometimes they just need to let that out to get to sleep. You know your baby's cries and if something is really wrong or if they are just tired and cranky. The older they get the more obvious it is, in my opinion.

Another thing I would recommend is that you stop waking her to feed at night at her age. I was doing that too and the pediatrician said to only feed her if she wakes up to. She doesn't need it at that age. I would ask your doctor about it as well if you don't feel comfortable with it.

Hope this helps and good luck. :)