Hi my name is L.. My boyfriend and I just had a beautiful daughter 3 1/2 months ago, but we've been struggling as a couple before she was born and recently it's been so bad that he moved out a month ago. We really want to work things out and be a family. We do love each other but just can't seem to get along. We're looking to find someone we can talk to that can council us as a couple. The only thing is that we don't have much money, especially since he was just laid off of work 2 weeks ago and my health insurance won't cover couples counseling since we're not married. Does anyone know of a place or person that could help us? Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.
HI L., I know a lot of people don't know this, I didn't either but apparently Maricopa county offers free counceling to married couples considering divorce. I know you are not married, but I would check with the county clerk ###-###-####) and see if they offer something similar to low income couples or see what's available. They may know of some good options for you. Good luck to both of you, I wish you the best!
L.,
I commend you and your boyfriend for trying to work things out for your daughter's sake. I'm a single mom of a now 9 month old with an ex boyfriend and we continue to struggle. He wants to be a "family" only when it's convenient for him. We tried counseling but unfortunately he gave up on it. I would suggest finding more affordable counseling through your church if you go to one, if not maybe look into local churches that offer couples counseling to non-members. You can also look at this website http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/county/Arizona/... to find counselors near you. It allows you to break it down by cost and services. Good Luck!
I know many churches have couples counseling. In our church they do it. Of course cause it is a Christian church (I don't know if other religions, or for that matter if all other Christian religions would be the same) but here they would encourage staying together (and marrying) if that can possibly be worked out.
As far as books go, I think a book that gave me a lot of insight into myself (cause you can only change your own behavior) was The Five Languages of Love. It helped me to realize why my husband said/did things I did not care about and felt like he was doing a great job loving me( I was doing the same to him). After reading it I realized how I needed to feel love and communicated better to him my loving actions to him.
Loving each other is not enough, you have to find out how to cooperate, be nice/kind to one another, as well as other skills that help.
Hi L. -
Congratulaitons on your beautiful baby girl. Im not sure of your religious background, but if you are Catholic, some Catholic churches offer free couple counseling. Before, you HAD to be married, but the catholic religion has relaxed a little and I have known of a couple of people that were in you rsimilar situation. Just a suggestion, hope everything goes well.
God is the best counselor you can get and his services are FREE. Try going to church together, talk to a priest/pastor/reverend, it does not matter what religion you belong to, sometimes getting closer to God is all you need to do to make things work. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY until something happens.
