Counseling for Boys That Have Been Molested

Oh, my goodness, I was crying when I read your post, as I have 2 sons as well. Unfortunately, I do not have the answer for you. However, I just wanted to stop by and send some prayers and wonderful thoughts your family's way. My heart aches when I see stuff like that happen.
I know someone very close to me that was sexually molested at 18 months old, and then again at 9 years old (by a different molester). Sick bastards... Well, she just turned 19 and about to start her second year of college and turned out to be emotionally stable and psychologically well developed. She just never talks about it. Her mom was single as well, they found a wonderful family counselor/psychologist, and got counseling together and separately. It made all the difference in the world. Talking it out helps immensely. Again, our thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless

Individual counseling may be the better way to start off. Group counseling/support groups are a more advanced form of therapy that I'm not certain any of you are ready for. Yes, I absolutely recommend you finding counseling for yourself. You will have issues to work through this as well, and only if you are in a healthy mental place can you be fully equipped to help your sons through this. Best wishes to you all.

Call your local Social Services/Health Department office there. If it is like what we have here they keep a list of Counselors that you can call. I will keep your family in my prayers for healing in every way it is needed.

Ask the local police. Ask for the Victim's Advocacy number. They know who in the area specializes in this and often can hook you up for free.

This was caught early and responded to aggressively. While it is a trauma to you all this IS something you can all learn to live beyond. Get yourself some help so you can deal with your own anger and guilt. You did nothing wrong and you need help addressing your feelings so that it doesn't fall on your sons to reassure you that they will be OK. Be their advocate in one setting and your own in another. Be strong! Be strong enough to get help for yourself!

I will say a prayer for all of you. As hard as this must be for you, know that you are doing the right thing by asking for help. God Bless.

Hello my friend,

I do not have a recommendation of a local counselor there, but I do recommend you seek the almighty counselor, the one who is full of truth and light. You can find an answer to EVERY problem ever faced in life in the pages of your Bible.
Pray for the Lord to send you a prayer partner, someone who can pray for you and with you. It is healing. Someone who has GOOD command of the scriptures and fills thier prayers, not with human words, but scripture- and repeats the scriptural promises in the Bible. It is a healing salve.

God loves you. He can empathize with you, for he also knows the pain of seeing a child hurt. His only son was tortured, spat on, ridiculed, and flogged so badly that the Bible says he was unrecognizable as a man, and then he was murdered. God has compassion for you, my freind.

If you do go to a 'Christian counselor', Watch thier words to see if their message is filled with the truths in the Bible, or if they mostly use human words and the current thought processes of the day. There are many counselors who claim to be Christian and the only way they bring God into the mix is in a prayer at the end of the session! Every word should hang on scripture and truth, every opinion backed up with a scripture to support it.

I'm so sorry for the pain this event has caused you and your kids. No child should ever have to be subjected to such evil. But we live in a fallen world, and we all will experience different facets of evil in our lifetime. Help your children forgive this man, not for his sake, but for theirs, so they can move on. For the younger one, I would not delve into too much heavy counseling, which might in effect make him feel a sense of self guilt that he currently doesn't feel. I think just to know that the man was in great sin against him and wrong to do what he did, and that no matter what God loves them unconditionally. To forgive.. and then to move on. I dunno, just thinking here.

With Love and prayers for your family,
Gail

See if you can find a family counselor who has experience in this arena. The boys need one to one with someone who really understands children at their different stages of development. You also need to partake in the counseling to learn how to cope and how to help your boys through this at their pace. Each one will deal with it differently and may need different resources. If the Counselor is not working out, don't be affraid to find another. Group work is good, but may not be the time for it yet; for the boys. Perhaps for you it would be a good way to process your grief and find other resources. I am sorry I do not have a specific link to give you. Your counselor or doctor or law inforcement may have resources to offer if you ask.

What I can say, from experience, is do not force the boys to talk about it. However, let them know that they can talk to you about anything and when they do approach you, be calm and let them talk it through. Ask open questions, do not direct them. Let them process through it no matter how painful for you it is. It helps with the healing process.

Take care. You will all survive this. It sounds like your boys have a very loving supportive mother who is willing to do what ever she needs to to help them and that is wondeful.

My prayers are with you, I hope your boys can overcome this issue. I'm sorry I can't provide you with the information you requested, however I hope and pray everything works out for you and your boys.

sick bastard, they should all rot.... i just wanted to say that i am so so sorry and i wish you and your boys the strength you need

My little brother who is only 8 just had to go through this. My parents got him a good counselor that helped him know that what happened was NOT his fault. You always have to make sure they understand that they are not at fault. The same thing happened to me when I was a child as well, so your boys are probably going through confusion, especially your oldest as he was the one that seems to have been told not to say anything. That is the way the predators get one over on the children they prey on. They frighten them or guilt them into keeping the secret and then tell them to never ever say a word or they will be looked at differently or never be understood. My advice is to talk about it and get them a good counselor that can help them out. Don't bury it, but don't bring it up too often either or they will eventually get more upset. They may be lucky and after counseling they might not think about it often and the worst details may go away. That happened with my Cousin and my Brother afterwards.