Conceiving

Updated on January 28, 2011
M.S. asks from Albany, CA
18 answers

Hello and Happy New Year!

To start this, I am aware it is a pretty stupid question and I am not trying to be insensitive to anyone who might be struggling. I have my mind wrapped around this and would like some insight and guidance from other moms. You are all great.

My husband and I have decided we are going to start trying for our third in the next couple months! We haven't started trying yet, and I am already stressed out!!! I have been very blessed and we got pregnant in the first month of trying with both our other children. I have read so many posts from people who are struggling after easily conceiving their other children and it is causing me unnecessary stress right now. I just can't seem to get my mind off of it.

My question is this - Is there anyone out there that has conceived in their 1st month of trying with ALL of their children (3+)? And since it is probably pretty unlikely, how have you moms handled your disappointment when not getting pregnant? I understand it is completely normal for it to take some time to get pregnant, but I have been incredibly lucky so far and I know my heart will break a little if the test comes back negative.

Thanks! Happy 2011!

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Just "make love" and dont label it as "trying to concieve". Then when the baby comes it will definitely be a "love" child and not just a "planned pregnancy".
Have fun :)

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J.P.

answers from Denver on

Hi--
I've been pregnant three times (the middle one was unfortunately a miscarriage though). My first son was conceived on the third try, the second pregnancy was on the second try, and my youngest son was conceived on the first try. I prepared my body physically with nutrition and exercise before we tried, and I'm really regular so it is easy to know when I am ovulating. I don't see why you would have any issues this time around. I think if it is more challenging there is always a reason! But don't worry about it until you have to--expectation has a way of creating outcomes!
J.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

My situation is slightly different than yours but I'll go a head and share it anyway. With our son (1st child) we conceived the very first month. I was excited! 2 months after our son was born I went into my internship/residency for teaching and was extremely exhausted from that, pumping, and trying to take care of our son and household. We wanted another baby fairly soon but I didn't think it would be possible to conceive before 10 months (that is when my mother was able to get pregnant again) so we didn't use any contraceptives and were going to let it happen when it did. When our son was 8 months old I turned up pregnant again. I was so exhausted I don't even remember finding out I was pregnant or telling my husband. Two months after our daughter was born (2nd child) I got pregnant again without trying but this time it ended in a early miscarriage. Two months after that (daughter was 4 months) I got pregnant again without trying. This pregnancy was ended by surgery two months gestation because it was an ectopic. I was DEVASTATED after losing this second baby that I was doing everything in my power to get pregnant. It took me 7 months to conceive again. Probably because my body had to recuperate from the trauma of surgery and losing a baby and fallopian tube. I was absolutely devastated every month, after my ectopic, that I got my period. It wasn't until I got over the loss of our baby, relaxed, and stopped trying that we were able to get pregnant again. Granted, I am only 5 weeks pregnant today and still holding my breath that I keep this one but I have faith the Lord will protect this child. Maybe he just didn't feel we were ready for another child yet. Our first two are 17 months apart and the third pregnancy would of been due when our daughter was 11 months old and the second one would of been due when she was 13 months old (would of been born at least a week ago). Now this one will be born 2 months before she turns 2 years old. A pretty good gap I think since we do want many children and all fairly close in age. Anyway, I just want to say not to stress out and it will happen when it is supposed to. Whether the first time or the 10th time. Just don't get too discouraged. The Lord knows what your desires are and what is best for you and your family. You WILL get pregnant. Don't worry about that. I worried just because I had one of my tubes taken out... but I was finally able to get pregnant after 7 months. Relax and it will happen. Blessings to you, getting pregnant, and another healthy pregnancy and baby!

P.S. Thank you for listening to my story. :-) I needed to get that out and not many people want to listen.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

It took me just over a month with my last pregnancy. Although I wasn't TRYING to get pregnant. The advice that I give all of my friends, and what seems to work best is to make the decision that yes you do want to have another baby, and then become carefree about it. By that I mean don't think about it. Occupy your mind with other things. When you are with your hubby, enjoy the moment. Don't worry about what day it is, if the timing is right, if your temp is right. Just let the moment be.

This is what happened at each of mine. My SIL was so stressed about having a baby for BIL. They were in their 40s, it was now or never ... I told her my theory. Finally after a year of trying and stressing and charting, they gave up. It wasn't meant to be. Within 2 months she was pregnant.

Good luck, enjoy the adventure. :-)
M.

3 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I am one of the wierdos that got pregnant the first month on all three of my children. With my first son it was a complete "oops"...with my second son we got pregnant on our second "try" and with my third (due next week) we got pregnant on our first try.
I know what you mean about your heart breaking if you don't get prego on your first try...I was worried too! But,maybe you will be a wierdo just like me! lol

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D.S.

answers from Cheyenne on

We did it the first time with all three of ours! AND, this time around I was nervous about the same thing as you, as it turns out for no reason. We actually started trying a month earlier than we had originally decided b/c I figured, what the heck why not? I didn't think there was any way we would get so lucky...

I am actually still a little shocked that it worked out so well for us...Good Luck!

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V.V.

answers from Houston on

I have been blessed with conceiving in the first month of trying with all three. I was close to 34 when I conceived my third and am now 36. We haven't started trying again, but I would love if God blesses us with another. Oh, we practice Natural Family planning.

2 moms found this helpful

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

It did take us quite a bit of time to get pregnant this time around and our first was conceived while on the pill, so we didn't expect it to take long. The way we dealt with it is with God. I don't know if you are religious or not, but I just kept reminding myself that it is in His time and not my own. It was very hard, but after almost a year of trying, we found out right before Christmas we are expecting number 2. I also think that once I stopped stressing about it, and actually resolved that maybe my son would just be an only child, wham! It happened! I wish you nothing but the best, and good luck!

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W.H.

answers from Modesto on

Don't borrow trouble when you may not have any trouble at all! Relax and don't worry. Even if you miss one month, or two, getting preg within a few months is still far better than what many can hope for.

Happy New Year & blessings your way. Don't worry, don't fret, all will be as it should be.

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A.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi M.,
I got prego by surprise with our first, the first month off birth control, then got pregnant with our second on our 2nd month off birth control. Now we are trying for our 3rd, but it has been 8mos now. I'm turning 35, so I feel I need to do the ovulation tests and stuff, just to make sure our timing is somewhat on target, but I may just not have many eggs left. We'll be going to the dr this week actually to see if there is something wrong. (My mom only had one ovary, so I may be in the same boat.) I hope you have good luck again and don't worry if you don't on the first try-- it will happen for you!

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

I'd say it's unlikely you will find that any woman got pregnant with each child they had on the first try. With my first, I got pregnant on the 3rd month, with the second~ pregnant on the 4th month, with the third, the FIRST TIME, and I am pregnant with my 4th (TOTALLY unplanned and unexpected) and I'd have to say FIRST time too. The more you stress about it, the less likely you will conceive. I know because of my experiences with my first two. I wanted to be pregnant so badly that getting pregnant was all I thought about. I know how frustrating it can be to try and try and try and still no baby. I know! Been there, done that but I also know because of how quickly I became pregnant with my third child (because we actually WANTED a third child), it happened the first time we didn't use birth control. And with my 4th pregnancy, well I can't say for sure what happened there. I tell everyone that God wanted me to be pregnant just one more time.
Relax.....enjoy the moment.....have a glass of wine.

As for how I handled my disappointments, well, I cried and I felt sorry for myself and thought I'd be one of those women who would be childless. Obviously, this is not the case for me so hang in there. Give it time. There is only so much you can do...and then the rest is all up to God and His perfect timing.

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M.G.

answers from Dayton on

Hi M.,
I have one child who is three years old and my husband and I had been togther 8 years before conceiving her. We have been trying to get pregnant with our second childe for years now. But At first when my period would be late I would immediatly take a pregnancy test getting my hopes up and when it was negative i would get so down. I have come to the relization now that it is in Gods hands and if I am meant to get pregannat I will again. One importnat factor though I now know is to not stress out about it and not think about conceiving constinatly I think it puts our body's under stress and gives us less chances of conceiving. But congragulations on the 2 you have and I hope you concieve the thrid child you want as easily as you did the other 2! Happy New Years!

H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

While I only have 2 children, I have had 3 pregnancies. All 3 times I was pregnant on the first try. It was unbelievable. My mother tried for 5 years before ever conceiving, then it took 5 more to have a 2nd child. I always thought I would follow in her footsteps. I got lucky.

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J.B.

answers from Albany on

My first child i concieved in the first month as well. But since we are trying for our second since September...we have yet to be pregnant. I thought since i am in my low 20's that I would concieve just as fast but i was on birth control until september (as i was with the first, i just forgot to take my pills for the next month..whoops) and we have had no luck! :-(. we are still trying and waiting. Good luck and i hope you have no problems!! Happy new years!

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B.S.

answers from Sacramento on

My husband and I were in the same boat. We conceived #1 and #2 (now ages 6 and 4) in the first month of trying for each. We started trying for #3 in August. We did get pregnant the first month, but I miscarried in Sept. It was devastating, even though I was only 5 weeks along. After the MC it took a few months to get pregnant again, so I was disappointed with every negative test, wondering if I would ever have another child. I am happy to say we are now pregnant with #3, having conceived in December. It took a few months, which is hard when it was so easy before. I kept wondering if I was too old now, at 35, but so far so good. I will see the doctor next week (at 6 weeks), so hopefully all is good this time.

Good luck!! And don't get too discouraged if it doesn't happen right away. It's hard not to feel sad with the negative tests, but for us it just took a couple extra months.

D.M.

answers from Denver on

I got pregnant with both of my bio-kid WITHOUT trying!

You never know....

Good luck!

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Well, the more you stress the more you lessen your chances. Stress greatly affects our system as a whole. You've got to turn your mind around and make this a fun adventure that you will be taking with your hubby not a stress-riddled disappointment ride every month. How much fun is that?

Start taking your prenatals immediately, eat well, get some sleep and relax and enjoy this exciting time in your life!

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I got pregnant all three times the first time we tried.

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