Co-Sleeping With a Newborn and a Toddler

I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 9 month old we have coslept with them both since newborn and halvn't had any problems. We have a king size bed so we all fit fairly comfortably. Ocassionally my husband and son do take a sleeping bag to the floor but not often. I have known others to put the crib right up against their bed and put the side down it gives you a bit of extra room and might help transitioning later if you plan on doing that.

I have an 8 year old and a 3 year old. Both have co slept from the beginning. My son was a preemie and needed to eat every hour so it was just easier to keep him in our bed.

We have a king sized bed. When our daughter came along, we had my hubby, my son, me and then the baby. I had a cosleeper on DD's side so just in case she rolled out, she would go right into another bed! lol But that never ever once happened.

My son now sleeps in his bed about 80% of the time so now it is just me, DH and DD. There are times my son is back in (like last night! I could just tell he needed some love last night). I never had a problem with him and the baby sleeping in the same bed. He just slept through her night wakings. Or if he woke up, he went right back to sleep. He started kindergarten the day that I had her (I went into labor that night) and he never had a sleepy issue in school.

Just go for it. Everyone will be fine! lol

~C.

Oh I forgot to add. When everyone is in our bed now, the kids sleep in the middle. When I get up in the morning, the kids are all snuggled up. Arms, legs all over each other! It is so cute to see. My DD worships the ground her brother walks on.

We slept with each of our babies. At first, all night, then we put the kids in the crib to start the night and when they awoke in the middle of the night, they nursed in our bed, and spent the rest of the night. But generally by 2, we had them in their own beds. that way there was room in our bed for the next baby. We also made that change before the new baby came, to it didn't look like the new baby kicked them out

And then, if the older child couldn't sleep, there were 2 choices: bring them to our bed, or one of us would go sleep in the twin bed with them.

Our arrangement was a california king sized bed on the floor , pushed up against the wall with tightly rolled blankets filling in the gap between the bed and the wall. Baby slept there (no pillow in that area), then me, then the toddler, and finally my husband on the outside, sometimes my husband would switch with the toddler ;) I mention the size of the bed b/c they are made for tall people, so we turned it 90 degrees and slept across it that way. Everyone had enough room and slept well (mostly lol).
I have wonderful memories of co-sleeping with my kids, and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I don't regret for a second having done it. We had babies and toddlers in the bed for 10 years, threw out the crib when the first one was about 3-4mo and wouldn't sleep there, and never looked back.

Aaaah I also have fond memories of co-sleeping with my 3 kids... They are 12, 7 and 4 now. We got a king-sized bed before #3 arrived, and everyone slept well and I could nurse the baby without waking anyone else. We had multiple sleep options: The older boys had their own beds in their room, plus they each had a toddler or twin bed in our room (our room was huge). Baby had a crib, but only slept there during the day for naps. Wherever anyone ended up, that was fine. When their father left (long painful story, sorry) all 3 kids made a beeline for my bed. We needed each other a lot! It really helped us through an enormously painful time.

After moving to a new home, I was still nursing so baby was with me, but the boys had their own beds and were older, so they were fine. Now that I have a new hubby, I'm glad they were already in their own beds. I wouldn't feel as comfortable cosleeping with him (neither would he). That's just the way it is when you are in a blended family!

Good luck with the new baby, I'm sure everything will be great! I always had the baby on the outside next to me with a bedrail up, so that no one else was next to them.

J.
I used a bassinette for my daughter when she was a newborn right beside the bed after about 3 months put her in a crib
but now she is almost 3 and we have been co-sleeping together (for 3-4 months) because she would toss and turn in her crib and it seemed like she didnt sleep well.I really enjoy it and she seems to sleep soundly now.
So the worries are she has already fallen out of my bed in which there are no railings and she still moves around a bit and it could happen again and that she wouldnt transition over to her own bed very well.
I would start the newborn out in a bassinette first and try the crib afterwards to see how things go. I am too afraid of rolling over in my sleep,I sometimes would put my newborn inbetween my legs so that her Dad and I could get some sleep when she was awake to protect her from us rolling or pillows
moving.
S.

Reading your post, I could swear I wrote it myself. Our 20 month old son sleeps in the middle everynight and I'm due with our second in April. I'm also concerned about how we're all going to handle the sleeping arrangements (including our 2 cats). Once the baby is born, we plan on my son and husband sleeping in the spare room and myself and the newborn in our room. I breast-fed my first and plan on doing the same for the second. I figured until the baby and I get into a routine, we'll just all sleep in separate beds. My son is currently a lighter sleeper, so we'll see how it goes....

I'm curious to see how it works out for your family since you're a few month ahead of me. Best of luck and there is absolutely nothing wrong with co-sleeping. I couldn't imagine it any other way.

I am in the same boat as you. My daughter will be 22 months when the new baby comes along. We have decided that the best thing for all of us is to try one of those "couch beds" that they make for children. They are basically just a firm pillow that looks like a couch until you unfold it. Then it is big enough for a toddler to sleep on. THey lay right on the floor so there is no chance of "falling" out of the bed. If they roll they will roll onto the floor so there is no falling. We are going to put this in our room next to our bed and I am going to sleep with our daughter until she is used to sleeping on that by herself and then we will move her into her own room on the same couch so if she needs to get us she can just walk across the hall. Maybe you could do somehting like this but keep the bed in your room if you feel more comfortable.
We really love the idea of having both babies in our bed but it is just not feasible. Hopefully this helps or at least gives you an idea on waht to do.
K. P

We all slept together, or during the early newborn wake up to nurse every two hour stage I would simply move into the boys room with the baby and my husband would have the two year old.

There have been days that the entire family is in the boys pushed together king size bed -- along with the cat. :)

We just sort of flopped where we most comfortably dropped in the most convenient safe location, nobody needed to have the SET sleeping space. Secure, comfortable, good rest was the biggest priority.

It is all about balance. I wanted my older girl to know she was always welcome in our bed, but not if she woke her sister. For some reason (less space, too hot?), she tossed and turned with her sister in the bed. We stuck it out for a while, but she was interfering with our sleep. I could easily feed her sister if she was jostled awake, but to have my sleep interrupted was hard. You have a good idea with the guest room. My husband happily shared a bed with our daughter on her restless nights. She was comforted and we all got the rest we needed.

I enjoyed those last few months sharing before her sister arrived. With all the big sister/girl talk, she made the decision on her own to sleep in her room, so do not be surprised if your son does the same. It was sad to have her in another room, but also easier and made the times she came in more special. Good for you to try and work it out and congratulations on upcoming son! Hope all turns out well.

We are co-sleepers as well. It was around 2 years that we started the process of putting our son to sleep in his own bed. However, to start with, we let him fall asleep in our room and then moved him to his "big boy" bed. We had night lights so that he could find his way back to our bed when needed. When his brother came along, he had just turned 3. Part of our big push for getting him into his own bed was issues with my back during the pregnancy and also knowing that the third was going to be a third c-section. I didn't want him to hit my incision when I came home.

Other suggestions we have read and seen are to put a mattress (either crib or regular single mattress) on the floor in your bedroom. Put the two year old to sleep on the mattress, right next to your bed. After a couple of weeks move the mattress a little further away from your bed. My son would lie in bed with us to go to sleep until he was about 3 1/2. Then my husband took the initiative and started a new bedtime routine in his big boy bed (which he had been sleeping in for some time without issue. It was just he fell asleep in our bed and my husband moved him.) Now he is 4 and goes to sleep in his own room without issue 70% of the time. He still tells me at times that he just wants me. It breaks my heart but I stand by his Dad and tell him to give me one more hug and kiss and go up to his own bed and I will check on him in a little bit.

Our oldest and only daughter is now 9. She also was a co-sleeper at first. Then she like her brother would go to sleep in my bed with me and her Dad would move her. She decided on her own at about 3 1/2 that she just wanted to go to sleep in her own bed. She sleeps with a radio on in her room. It helps to drown out other noises in the house and takes the place of her dad snoring. ;)

In the immediate time, though, one thing that helped after my youngest son was born, is a Snooglie pillow. It is a pregnancy pillow that is shaped like a big C. I would put the C facing me and the newborn and I would be on one side of the pillow and my older son was on the other. It acted as a little bit of a safety barrier between the my son flailing and rolling in his sleep and his newborn brother.

Another alternative is a pack'n'play in your bedroom for the newborn until he is a little older. You can set it up right beside your bed so that you can sit up and reach him (they also have some that are co-sleeper ones that somehow attach to your bed). This would allow the baby to be near you so that you can reach and fill the needs of your newborn while still having your son right there as well and free you from worrying about the two year old rolling on or kicking the newborn in his sleep.

Anyhow, these are just a few suggestions. I hope that they help. I know there is no "easy" solution. You want to snuggle both kids but you want them to both be safe as well. So I wish you luck as you figure out what works for you. One final suggestion is to check out Dr. Sears online or his Baby Book. I believe he is an advocate of co-sleeping (although it is late so I could be mistaking him for one of the other doctors but I don't thinks so. I believe it is a part of attachment parenting which I know he advocates).

ok...seriously, what the heck is DS?? Am I completely out of some loop or something? Dear son? OMG....I am so old I feel like I am that super uncool mom that just found her daughters note to her friends and cant read it cause it has all these criptic messages! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Anyway, good luck with all that. Maybe you need to get a california king and then some earmuffs for Hunter and you will be all set. Wow...I bet you never thought you would be in bed with three men at the same time ever again....wink wink!

I am sure everything will all fall into place like it always does. You will figure it out. The bad night may have to be slept in seperate rooms though like you stated...which stink but hopefully they wont be all that often. I bet that Hunter will get used to the his lil brother and wont even hear the cries (wishful thinking).

Love you girl!