Co-sleeping with Newborn Baby & Toddler

i also slept with my child (and kinda husband). we had 2 queen size beds next to eachother making it wall to wall bed (while pregnant we were given a new bed to replace mine, and he was paranoid that my water would break while in bed...so he made me stay in my old one) once she was born it was hard for me to get in and out of bed, so i kept her in bed with me in my bed (since my water did break there lol) and i had her against the wall (w/ a pillow securely between the bed and wall so she wouldn't have the cold wall against her head) and i had her feet against my body (JUST IN CASE i would roll over once it was physically possible) and my husband was still next to me, but in another bed up against mine...so i didn't have any issues about rolling over, because if i did, it would be on her feet and that would wake me before anything bad could happen. i was lucky and was able to get her into a crib by the time she was too big to lay that way...but if i didn't have that luxury of all that space (like you don't, even with the king size) i would definitely get one of those co-sleepers for the baby. it's like a little bed to put in your bed, the sides are hard so you won't roll over on the baby (or your daughter if you choose to put the baby between you and her), it's got mesh around it so the baby can sleep, and it makes it all safe (i guess as safe as you can be while sleeping with 2 adults and a child in a bed...that sounds tough to do). but i think the co-sleeper would be good for something like that...i put a link up of what i'm talking about, i saw it in target by a different brand, and it was more like $30...but this one says $50 or something like that. good luck, i hope everything works out good, i know how much easier it is to have baby with you the 1st couple months. congrats on the new baby.

http://www.target.com/Baby-Delight-Deluxe-Snuggle-Nest/dp...

I don't want to seem snippy, but a almost 2 year old should definitely be sleeping in her own bed by now, not even a crib, but a toddler bed. If you don't break this habit soon she will be sleeping with you until she's 10 and that's really going to put a damper on you and your husband's quality time. Now with a newborn on the way, safety of the new baby should be your number 1 concern. Sleeping in a bed with two adults and a toddler is UNSAFE for a newborn and the sooner you come to terms with that the better off you and the baby will be. If you don't believe me, ask your doctor about it and you will get the same response (my mother is a pediatrician). I know it is hard to separate yourself from your little girl but she also needs a little independence and if you don't do something about it now she will be very jealous of the new baby and you don't want that. You are not thinking ahead, you are thinking about not listening to your 2 year old cry for a few nights getting used to her own bed and you are not doing her any good. Putting rails on a larger bed is not the answer, put the kid in her own room now or you will be risking the life of the new baby.

It sounds like you have everything worked out!!! LOL
I know most people reject the idea of the community bed but I think it is cool. The only other suggestion would be to put her to the foot of the bed while you guys are to the head.
Good luck on the new baby

Oh Y.! I just love ya! You sound just like me and we are very close in age too. :)

When I was pregnant with my second, I wondered the same thing because our oldest would come in with us during the night and I was worried about the new baby. I breastfed too so I really wanted us to be able to fit in our bed. The solution was we got a king size bed and I had a bed rail on my side! Our oldest slept between us and the baby was to my side between the bed rail and me.

We just had our third baby 5 months ago and I thought 'Now what?!' The older boys share a room with their beds pushed together but sometimes they still like to come in. To be safe, we bought a co-sleeper this time. It is next to my side of the bed so the baby is either in there or on our bed between the co-sleeper and me.

I wish you the best and hope you find a solution that works for you!

Hugs,
L.

http://APerfectMoment.MyArbonne.com

I am almost there with you. I have a 2 year old and almost getting ready to deliver. My daughter has been in a toddler bed for about 6 months now and she starts off in her bed but then comes to mine and we all co-sleep. Husband, toddler and me. There is some nights that my daughter will start the night with us but she can be rough sometimes. I am only scared when my daughter gets up crying. Other than that trust me it will work out. My husband and I have already learned to get the smallest but comfortable position in bed and leave the rest of space to my daughter. Hopefully I will not do this with the second but it makes them more comfortable and that makes me happy. I know that I am having another girl and I yet have not forced my daughter to her own bed or potty trained her yet. It makes me feel really good.

we did exactly the same thing and it worked out fine

Hi Y.,

I am a mother of three (9, 6, and 3). I was able to co-sleep with my newborn and 3 year old successfully, both times I had a newborn and toddler. We have a king size, and we pushed it up against the wall. The baby would be between me and the wall, and the toddler between me and my husband. In reality, my husband would find a spot to sleep else where in the house on some nights, as it did get a bit tight at times, all of us in the bed.

Now my youngest is three years old and the only one left in the bed with us, and my husband and I co-sleep successfully with her. My older two have transitioned very successfully to their own beds. Good luck......co-sleeping is very possible and wonderful.

Same boat here...son 14 months daughter 14 days old.

My son sleeps wild and is rough when he is awake. He slept in his craddle untile he outgrew it then in his playpen (after I put him to sleep in my bed I'd move him to the playpen).
He is more comfortable in our bed so we let him.
I put my little girl in the craddle to sleep to be safe from his flailing arms & legs.
Once she is older I might let her join us.

how about letting your daughter sleep in the middle and getting a beside the bed crib (don't know what they are called) that way the baby is close and yet safe. it fits right up to the bed like a half crib. you could still feed the baby and have a little more room for your self. it also sounds like you are lonely... i felt the same way especially when my kids were young (14 months apart)keep in touch especially with moms and moms groups you'll need it now that they out number you 2 to 1 hahah keep smiling and good luck with the birth...laura

I had the exact same situation a few years ago! Try a cot for Sasha that is next to your bed every other night until she is comfortable sleeping in a bed next to yours. Even with a King size bed four of you will be dangerously crowded. Remove the bed rail on your side and put the cot for Sasha next to you. When I was pregnant with my second child, this solution worked so well for me that my daughter was ready to move to her own room by the time that the new baby arrived. I was so surprised at her fast adaptation-she had moved to her own room before I had the new baby and by the way. I had the new baby sleep (after breastfeeding)in a crib next to my bed, and moved the new baby to my daughter's room at aged 7 months.

Have you considered a sidecar crib arrangement? I spent many a night sleeping with my upper body in the crib with the newborn while my 12 month old slept in the middle of us. http://groups.msn.com/SteveandLishsFamily/sidecarcrib.msnw

Dear Y., I did the same thing, only sadly couldn't breast feed. Long story short, the only way to get any sleep, due to my son's condition, was to keep him in bed with his father and me. Most of the time we, me and my baby, slept in an upright-slanted position. Then he eventually went between us. When baby #2 came along, again the only way to get sleep ( now my oldest was 3 ) was to lay the baby on my chest with pillows propped uder each arm. In a queen size bed, it was a snug fit and I always worried about baby rolling off, but then they came out with that pack-n-go that actually is meant for breast fed babies. It sits along side your side of the bed and when baby is hungry, you're right there and don't have to get up. A king size is a good idea, especially if you're planning on moving baby in bed with you after breastfeeding stage is over. And from one mother to another, it is so precious and comforting to let your baby hear your heartbeat all night. They sense the feeling of being in the womb. Good luck. http://local.thenestbaby.com/ListingBasicSearch.aspx?lt=4... .
Click on the link to view the crib I was talking about.
H.

Haven't read the responses yet, so don't know if this has already been suggested...when my second was born we got the co-sleeper, which is essentially a pack & play that has it's mattress at the same height as the bed mattress. We only had a queen sized bed and a SUPER thick mattress, so a bed rail wasn't an option for us. Our then 27mo old slept between daddy and me, and baby slept in the cosleeper. In the middle of the night the baby would usually end up in the crook of my arm, but because the cosleeper essentially extended my mattress by a couple of feet, it never felt uncomfortable or cramped. (Or scary).

Our little boy will be turning 3 in 3 weeks and still sleeps with my husband and I for a majority of the night.
Having a newborn on the way, I'd be careful with that.
If your daughter rather or wont sleep in her own bed, why not have the newborn sleep in your room but in a bassinet?
Just a suggestion.

Hi,

I had a horrible time getting my son to sleep when he was na infant. He loved to be near me but I had fears of rolling over on him in bed. I purchased a cosleeper which attached onto our bed but placed him slightly you can probablylower down so he could not roll into our bed. I was sized so an adult would not be able to roll into it either. I forget the brand but you can probably find them online.
J.

To be honest this was never a problem for my husband and I. I am a mother of 2 daughters. My 1st is 3 yrs old and my baby is four months. I breast-fed them both. It was very difficult getting our older child to stop sleeping with us but we did it. Her crib converted to a toddler bed, so we just kept it in our room where she had her own space to sleep. When I had only two months left to my second pregnancy we bought her a new bed (a day bed w/ pop-up trundle), new curtains (princess), and linen). We made a big deal out of her moving into her own room and being such a big girl. It actually worked and now she insists on always sleeping in her own room in her own bed. She feels like such a big sister and understands that the baby slleps in the crib. Now in the morning usually everyone is in our bed but at least that's after a good night sleep. Hope this helps.

I don't personally do the co-sleeping thing, but I know many people enjoy it. I would be concerned about the baby sleeping between the bed and the wall, make sure there is absolutely no space in between there for the baby to possibly fall between. I would even put up a bed rail on the side against the wall for extra assurance.

The other option would be to put a bassinet next to your bed for the new baby and then move them into your bed once they are a little older and stronger, since you said your lil one does sleep quite roughly. That way teh baby would be with you at all times, but safe in it's own place to sleep. I did this with my daughter for a while when she was an infant because my husband is a very active sleeper and I didn't want to put her in the bed with me because of this.

Like I said, I don't have any experience with this myself, so I'm only adding opinions here but i do wanna commend you for not trying to move the older child out of your bed just because a new one is on the way. So many parents don't realize what a stressful change this is for a young one, to have a new baby in the house, and try to make so many changes to accommodate the new baby they don't realize how the older one feels. I hear so many parents who push their kids into sleeping in a new bed so the crib is freed up or potty training too early so they don't have to buy diapers for two kids, etc. You seem to really respond to the needs of your children so whatever decision you make will be the right one.

I also dont have any personal experience with co-sleeping with 2 kids, but when we co-slept witht he baby, he always slept in the crook of my arm. So when I rolled over, I took him with me and and switched arms. In the beginning, it does leave you a little stiff, but as your body gets used to it it doesnt bother you anymore. He's one and still sleeps in the crook of my arm. It made me feel more secure that he wasnt going anywhere and no one was coming near him without it waking me up, so I felt he was completely safe and I slept easier knowing he was so close. This was especially nice in the newborn stages because we could still use pillows and big comforters without being worried. My arm is his pillow! And its nice too because they are always cuddled into your chest which helps stimulate milk production, even while you sleep! And its nice to have them cuddled so close because it just warms your heart! I hope this helps.