Clingy Baby

My daughter was clingy too. I learned to adapt and allow it. I don't believe in letting babies cry. 11 months old is still a baby, not a toddler and although a couple of minutes is alright, simply allowing them to scream at this age is not. Once they reach that toddler phase, somewhere around age 2 then I change the philosophy but not before then.
I used a baby carrier, put my daughter in it, and did what I needed to do. Once she started walking she stopped being so clingy. She didn't learn to walk till late but that's not the end of the world. Because she could walk she could follow me around and cling if she wanted to. I just learned to talk to her or sing to her while I was doing what I needed to do.
It's just a phase, it doesn't last forever. If you push her away too much now she'll be even more clingy later. My personal belief is to allow the clingy thing when they are little and then it should disappear when they are toddlers/school age. If you push them away now I believe they get more clingy later, not less.
BTW, there's a difference between allowing her to be clingy and encouraging her to be clingy. Encouraging her would be not allowing her to roam when she was ready, like when you're out. Allowing her is simply saying okay you're clingy and picking her up when she wants to be held.
Good luck!

Sounds like all 4 of my kids!!

My daughter usually starts being clingy when I want to do chores or cook!!I found it helpfull to coax her to following me to the room I need to be in and then give her something to distract her. When I'm in the kitchen, I give her plastic bowls and spoons. I use them like a drum and then she usually stops crying and takes them to bang on. She also likes pots cause they are loud. If i'm in the bedroom I ask her to "help mommy" and give her some socks to fold or the clicker to the tv.
It seems to distract her enough so I don't have to listen to crying and I don't have to hold her all them time.
Sometimes you have to be creative. Good luck!!!
T.

K.,

It doesn't last forever. you don't have to 'wean' her of it. You'll only make her more unhappy.

There is nothing to 'reinforce' or not reinforce. it's a natural stage. By not 'giving in' to her, you create more of a situation in perpetuation because she does not see you as 'meeting her needs'. And her needs at that moment are 'clingy' to you but 'high priority' to her.

I'd give you more advice, email me. I'd be happy to give it - but my own 'clingy' 2.5 year old (it starts up again after 'traumatic' events like being scared to death by 30 strangers at a party who all know YOUR face but you know none of theirs because you live 400 + miles away from them!) is about to wake - soon. It's not as bad as last night after the party, but he started remembering stuff like playing when he met his cousin again.

Good Luck!
M.

PS: as your kids grows, gets sick, teethes, has traumatic events like this, everything goes out the window. And if you ignore it, it only gets worse.

Just searching "clingy" for my own situation and found your question. Is it any better now? I have a 15 month old who will only play by herself for 2-3 min and my older one could play forever alone.

I hate to say, just ignore it because I know how hard that is...... But your child is old enough to be picking up on the fact that momy will continue to pick her up whenever she cries. Of course its ok to pick her up and comfort her, but then put her back down and make sure she knows you are still there if she needs you. Many children at that age think that once you are" out of sight" you are gone for good. Just make sure she knows you are still around, even if just going to the bathroom.
If the crying continues and its just to much, maybe step put side and take a breather; let your husband take care of her for a little bit. When she is alone with daddy or her caregiver(without you there) does she do that for them as well or just you???

Honestly, it sounds like she is insecure and needs you to hold her and reassure her. The more you hold her and soothe her, the more secure she will become. This is pretty typical of older babies and young toddlers. It won't last forever, I promise. I never let my son cry and the older he got, the more independent he got, but at his own pace. I think forcing independence on young children only backfires. Hang in there :)

Hi K., this seems to be a stage and should pass. I have 5 and they all went through it, starting about 9 months or so. They start to have fears of separation. She needs to be reassured that you are there and not going anywhere. At someone else's home there may be other things going on to keep her occupied. I hope this helps. She will grow up and some day will be too busy with friends. Grandma Mary