Chores for Hubby and 10 Year Old

My brother and SIL used to set a kitchen timer for 10 minutes. Everyone stopped what they were doing and picked up the house/their rooms. When they all worked together it got done quick. Give that a try.

$10 a week is a lot. She could probably do a few quick jobs that would help you -- unpack the dishwasher, or help pack it. If Hubs does laundry, she can go and sort it and put each person's pile in their room. I had that job as a kid - make Mom's pile, Dad's pile, Brother's pile, my pile....

Your family is very cooperative. Pick one night a week for family clean up night. Have each one take a job like vacuuming or washing the floors. Those tile floors clean up quite nicely with a cup of vineager added to a gallon of water.
Family clean up night means many chores that are waiting get done all at once.

I think that what your 10 year old does is appropriate. She is learning responsibility by helping you, helping clean sister's room, and feeding the dog, but she is also getting to be a kid with the other things she does.

I think some parents expect too much of kids. Kids should have chores certainly, but they need to be able to have fun too. It's about finding a good balance. If you need help with dishes or something else your daughter can do, don't hesitate to have her help, but don't give her so much to do that she doesn't have time to be a 10 year old.

I think the way you are doing things now is just right for her age.

At ten I was cleaning the whole house, doing everyones laundry, dishes, cooking, helping with newborn baby brother, and balancing my mothers checkbook. I know now how to keep a clean house and budget money better than most. So basically what I am saying is dont feel guilty making your "tween" do some extra chores. It makes for a great adulthood and learns responsibility.

My wife was doing it all like you are. Instead of watching kids, she was going to college. I was working a 12 hour day and wasn't doing enough around the house inside, but we had 26 acres and a large garden and I spent my time outside. My wife had told me she was responsible for the inside. I tried cooking meals and such, but she told me, this is MY kitchen. Leave it alone. So I did.

She came home late one night after being given a BIG homework assignment and the dinner wasn't cooked and no one had eaten. When we got up to bed, she said, "I need some help!" (I still remember those words.) We talked about what she needed and how she wanted me to help. We decided to make some changes. The biggest one she made was dinner. She no longer had to do all the cooking. We had a family council. All the family gathered around the kitchen table Saturday and we made a jobs list and what was going to be done each week for 6 weeks and then it would repeat. The biggest change was we assigned everybody a day to cook dinner. My wife's day was Saturday. Mine was Sunday. Each of the oldest kids got a day Monday through Friday. The kids under 12 could have simple dinners like mac n cheese. The rest of the kids had to have a balanced meal.

It worked.

Make a list of what has to be done. Talk to your husband and find out what he wants to do, what you want to do, and what both of you want your daughter to do. Then have a family council and discuss it. Make a jobs list and rotate the ones you can. Also, you complained about the sink being small. Go to a new homes sale and walk through new homes much more expensive* than the one you have. Go to the kitchens and try the sinks. Decide what you want and go to Home Depot. Buy what you want and either have your husband install it or have them install it so you can be happy with your sink. It will cost money, but it will make your life ssssoooooo much easier, it will be money well spent.

Good luck to you and yours.

*Why more expensive holmes? Because the rich can afford anything they want, especially a kitchen sink. So you are likely to find the most popular, most convenient sinks installed in their kitchens.

Your hubby shouldn't be in the same category as the kids, being given chores. Why is he "helping"? He's a grown adult with responsibility for the household, just like you. He shouldn't be helping YOU with the laundry, he should be doing the laundry, his responsibility, not a favor to you. To me, if there's more you need doing, husband should be doing it rather than a child. When he is at home, he should expect to do as much as you do. What does he do after dinner if he's not participating in cleaning up the kitchen? If he's taking care of the kids after dinner, then you should be able to manage the kitchen cleanup. If he's not taking care of the kids, then the two of you should be handling the dishes together, and then whichever one of you does not leave to bathe the baby/read stories should do the floor. BTW, I used to have white ceramic in the kitchen and it was a nightmare! It got better when I got myself a swiffer mop so I could do a quick mop after dinner, but the supplies for it get a little costly. I was extremely happy when I was able to put in a new floor that hid dirt better!

-Let go by the wayside what can wait: super clean floors, baseboards etc.
-Yes, the 10 year old can help w/certain chores: laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc. Give her a small weekly allowance and expect certain chores to be done: see below.
-Do the basics: laundry, dinner, dishes, wipe down counters, swiffer floor once in awhile, vacuum, spending time w/kids and hubby, being thankful we have a wonderful life to keep us busy, kids to make messes in our nice homes. :) Hard to remember sometimes I know....so I watch the news to remind myself then I thank heavens to Betsy I've got the messy kids, the messy hubby. :)
-Remember: nobody on their deathbed ever said "You know....I should have done so much more laundry and housework".
-Do what you can the night before like you are doing: lunches, picking out clothes.
Then take it easy every night: give yourself 30 mins each night to undwind & get ready for the next day ahead. Deep breath! :)

try flylady-great suggestions for managing the house. do a google search.

$10 seems like an awful lot for participating in the family. I don't have $40 of discretionary income a month. Hopefully it is going in a college fund?! There's some recent info about allowances and how we pay our kids too much. Mine get 10 CENTS per year per week (so a 10yo gets $1.00), and it's enough. I buy the basics. I know you didn't ask about allowances, but it may ease your stress to not be paying out so much--and if the kids help because that is what a family does, then you don't have them going on strike because they don't need the $.

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For laundry I created a sorting system. I have a bin for whites, darks, delicates and colors. Everyone is responsible for putting their laundry in the proper bin. If it's not in the bin, it doesn't get washed! Then I pop a load in every night before bed and put them in the dryer in the morning. A load a day keeps Mt. Washmore away (as the Flylady would say!)

I use my Swiffer Wetjet on the floor, but refill the cleaning solution with plain white vinegar and water to save money. I use old washcloths on the bottom instead of the disposable cloths to save money and also the environment. Flylady.com has a wonderful floor duster that works great, my 10-year old loves pushing the floor duster around! She also likes using the Swiffer Wetjet so my floors don't take too long to clean.

Do check out flylady.com. She has great tips for organizing and ways your whole family can pitch in. I do her Swish-n-Swipe on the bathrooms and as a result we always have a clean bathroom!

Good luck!

$10 is a lot for a 10 year old. Is she spending it or she expected to save a good portion of it? Can you open a bank account for her or get her one of those divided banks where she allocates some money for spending, some for saving and some for charity???

She SHOULD be playing - she is a kid. Did you enjoy watching your 2 siblings full time for the summer? Is that fulfilling for your child? Were you resentful? I think she's old enough for certain responsibilities but too young for a full time job!!

Hubby needs to not "help" with laundry or do what "you ask" - that means that the overall responsibility is YOURS! You are feeling the crush of having to constantly be on top of everything. The chores are family chores, and everyone signs up for the chores they want to do (or the ones they hate the least!). Then you take what's left and divvy it up.

How little is the little sister? Little kids can sort socks, sort laundry into lights and darks, and learn to clean up their own messes to some degree. If she has some sorting bins in her room, she can put things in them. Before my son could read, we put photos on different bins so he could identify what when where - we took pictures, cut out the ad from the circular, or drew a sketch so he knew that little cars when in one box, stuffed animals went in another, arts & crafts supplies when in a third, and so on.

Also, try not to let one set of toys lie around and then have another batch come out. Your daycare kids can put away the stuff they are using before moving on to the next activity. Do you have structured activities, or just everyone doing what they want? A structure might be easier for all - art time, snack time, car & train time, quiet time, story time. Transition from one to the other with a silly song "It's clean up time, it's clean up time, let's see who can put the cars away in time...." Let kids choose their jobs or assign them on a rotating basis - "Let's see, who is the crayon person for today?" "Who is going to choose the book for today's story time?"

And, um, you need a break to take time for yourself!!!!!

Dinner:
Learn to love your crock pot :) You can do a roast in it - then reinvent the leftovers another night for BBQ sammies. Spaghetti sauce is easy in a crock pot - make enough for 2 batches and freeze one. Stews, stoups, gosh, the list is endless. Always cook more than you need for one meal so you have leftovers to freeze or reinvent for another night.

$10 week allowance is high - my son is 15 and he gets $20 per month. He has been doing laundry, dishes, mopping, his room and the shared bath, and pet care for years. It is just his contribution to our household. (There are only the two of us).

I also love the Swiffer products - oh, and my steam mop. I sweep, then my son Swiffer Wet Jets and steam mops. We have light tile throughout and lots of pets but this "system" works for us.

I don't think you are asking too much of your daughter - my son has been doing chores for years and still manages to have lots of play time.

Remember - its okay if things get a little messy and dinner is only sandwiches and fruit every once in awhile.