22 answers

13 Year Old Texting - What's Realistic?

Earlier this year we took away our daughter's texting due to issues with grades and behavior. She was up to 10,000-11,000 texts per month, and she isn't allowed to text at school, sports practice, dinner, or after 9 pm weekdays. We were floored when we saw how many texts she had each month even with these restrictions. Before we consider reinstating her texting (her grades made a comeback in the 4th quarter, and we're making improvements on respectful and responsible behavior) I'm curious as to how many texts per month your teens are doing and what rules you have around texting. As I've read from many others, we're told by our teen that we're WAY more restrictive than ANY of her friends' parents.....I'd love to hear what others do regarding rules, and what the volume of texts is in other homes. Thanks!

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Our teens text CONSTANTLY. It's the new normal.

In my opinion, if they are doing well in the important areas of their life, let them text as much as they want. They all do it. Just get an unlimited texting plan or you are in for a whopper of a phone bill.

Reading other posts: Why does everyone think texting is so bad? 40 years ago, parents thought rock and roll was bad. Things change. It's just their way of communicating with each other. When we were teens, we spent hours on the phone. Texting replaces the phone.

If some of you moms don't lighten up, you are in for a lot of battles.

However, you can use taking away texting as leverage to get her to do better in school, as you are doing.

6 moms found this helpful

Ha! My niece and nephew have huge amounts of time on their texts.. so their parents just got unlimited for them..

These texts include received texts including one word texts?

I can believe it.. I think when they figured out the actual minutes per month it was not as bad as it seemed, especially when I reminded my sister that when she was their age, she got on the Princess phone the moment she got home from school, till 11:00pm or later on weekdays and all weekend if my mom let her!

My mother likes to say "Justice!"

5 moms found this helpful

I have a sister 10 years younger than me and she can text like the wind. They can be having multiple texting conversations at one time and some texts are only one word or set of symbols.

I would be more worried about the conversations going on IN the texts than the NUMBER of texts. Get unlimited texts and save your pocket the money.

Then just limit the times she can text. I would spend HOURS on the phone as a teen...and when we got 3 way calling it was paradise. So there was a time limit on calls and phone time.

So what maybe after school until time to prep and eat dinner. Then after dinner until bedtime...you can always put the phone on the charger in your room so there is no sneak texting. Maybe all day on weekends, except during certain activities: sports, church, dinner, etc and then cut it off bit later time Friday and Sat nights?

But there is certainly no need to text round the clock.

5 moms found this helpful

I have three texting teenagers and an unlimited texting/internet access plan for all their phones. Yes they are often texting many people at once. No they do not use it irresponsibly, they follow the rules at school and other activies regarding cell phone use...they do not break/lose their phones either. They are all very good students and here's the clincher, I text as much as they do! And I love it! It is an easy low commitment way of communicating with friends and family.......I supose the phone would be the first thing to go if they had grade/behavioral problems, but the main rule is, if they get a text from ME, they had better answer it right away! I find it a very useful tool for keeping them close. I'm sure my mother would've thanked God every day for the cell phones when she was a single working mother with 5 kids spread out all over the place everyday! I certainly do!

5 moms found this helpful

Ok, my son is a boy and is a year younger than your daughter, but I just checked and he had 4,973 last month (in & out combined). He is a quiet kid too. He does not have a grade percentage under 93% in any class. He is into traveling sports and school sports and he has a lot too. He is not allowed to text at school, at sports, practice or at dinner either. He goes to bed at 9:00 so not then either. So I think it is GREAT you have put parent restrictions on her, but I want you to know it is possible. I use to read through ALL of his text, now it is only about 3 times a week; but there are so many because they text things like "K" for ok. "Yep" for yes. "IDK" for I don't know. "THXS" for thanks. So those take up a lot real quick. Believe it or not.... She appreciates those limits, so keep them and know the number is about average for her age. My friends 12 year old daughter goes through 6-8 thousand a month.

5 moms found this helpful

Well it sounds like I am in the minority - my answer is zero :) I cannot think of a SINGLE reason a 13 yr old needs to text. For us, it isn't about good grades or excelling in sports or rewarding good behavior. We expect that no matter what. I understand that some folks really think that their child should have a phone for safety reason - I don't agree, but I don't live in your house so maybe for those people there is a safety reason that I wouldn't have. However, there simply isn't one single safety reason I can think of that a child should have texting on their phone or have data access.

Just my two cents :)

5 moms found this helpful

I don't have a teen but my 16 year old sister sends about 30,000 per month. I think when we figured it out it was something like 150+ per hour!!! But she doesn't talk on the phone to her friends - they text, even to say "Okay" or "Thanks" which is weird and comical to me. I'm like "Just call!" But that being said, she is allowed to use her phone as late as she wants but not during school/sports/dinner.

4 moms found this helpful

You could set time limits on when she has her phone. My friends did this with their son. They kept his phone during school and at night, he could have his phone after homework was done until 9pm with the exception of dinner time while eating with the family. On the weekends they gave him more time but if they were doing something as a family then he couldn't have it til they were done. My son does text but so far it hasn't intefered with anything. If it comes to that point then I will put time limits on him as well.

4 moms found this helpful

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