Can I Say "NO PRESENTS for ME" to My Husband's Sister?

I wouldn't say anything. If she doesn't like you to begin with, then it will just add fuel to the fire. What if she doesn't like you b/c she thinks you are arrogant and snobby? And then you go and tell her you don't want a gift from her? That might just make things worse.

If she gets you a gift, then either re-gift it or donate it. Accepting the gift will make you a better person. What you do with it once you open it is none of her business.

Accept the gifts.
If she singled you out not to give you any...that would be a different post here on mamapedia.

Sounds like she is being gracious.
Be gracious back.

Just my opinion.

Don't add fuel to the fire. Smile and be gracious. When I have feelings like this, and we all have family issues, I try to remind myself that the Christmas holiday is celebrating the birth of our Savior. He came here and showed us how to forgive others and turn the other cheek. I try to remind myself of this when I feel justified in giving a family member a piece of my mind. But, it is better to smile and say Thank You when a gift is being offered.

Good luck and best wishes! Once you get home...she won't know what you have done with the gift. Regift it to someone who would appreciate it cuz it has no back history.

grin and bare it.. then donate it :)

Don't say anything. It might cause more problems! Be gracious and keep your naughty thoughts to yourself:). 'heap coals" of kindness on her and send her a thoughtful thank you note.

If everyone is getting gifts, it would be really awkward for you not to. Sometimes with family we just have to keep up appearances. In this case, it is best to keep them up for your kids sake. Imagine how your kids would feel if everyone got gifts from them but "Mom". If they are old enough to understand that could be very hurtful for them. Besides, what's the point of asking. Sounds like you may driving a wedge into an already touchy situation.

The only way you could say "No presents for me" is if you decide/husband decides to not exchange or buy gifts with his Sister's family any longer. You could certainly present that idea to your husband and get his take on it. As long as he buys gifts for SIL and her family, it is polite for them to also buy gifts for your family and you are included in that. It would be awkward to say, buy for my husband and kids and not me (even if you aren't best buddies in the family!). If you don't live that close or see each other than often, you could easily re-gift whatever it is she gets you or you don't like but I would hope that they have bought gifts you and your family have liked as well. All the best...family dynamics can be crazy at times

So what if she gets you gifts.
Just accept it with grace.... even if you don't like her or she does not like you or even if it is perfunctory.
She is doing a duty. She is getting you gifts/a gift. Fine.
It takes 'effort' to do that.
No matter what you think her attitude is, toward you.
Maybe she is just a cold fish and anti-social, but this is the way she 'extends' herself.... outwardly. For some people, this is ALL you can 'expect.'
So what.

Just let it be.
Don't make a battle of it.
Let it ride.
In the big scheme of things... do you want the holidays, to turn into an awkward negative thing... when there wouldn't be, otherwise????

Let it be.
Maybe this is all, your SIL can muster.
And if she has personal problems, well who knows about that.
She obviously is not a demonstrative person, nor ever will be.
Except for this..... her gift giving.
Which again... TAKES EFFORT, on her part.
No matter how cold... a person may be.

No one has to like everyone. And you don't have to like or love everyone either.
But, unless she is really abusive or toxic to you... then yes, let it be.
Don't make battles, at the Holidays. If you can help it.
Let it be pleasant, for your kids/you/your Hubby. And the family.
Why bring this up, now?
You have had this SIL, for 10... years. Already.

Its her/their money... if she wants to get you a gift, then let her. Don't tell her how to spend her money. It will only be taken the wrong way. And make you... seem like the 'wrong' one.

And... I have a sibling... that never liked my Husband. So what. He is my husband, not hers.
I choose. Not her.
AND... over the years, things are amicable.
Because... my Husband never takes it personally. Because, he knows my sibling is just a tough nut to crack. So what.
He aint' gonna spend his entire life not liking her or trying to get her to like him.
AND besides... she actually told someone that she doesn't like him... because he "took my sister from me..." as in: she is jealous and misses just having her little sister... to herself. She is just that way.
So what.
We live.
We can get along.
Its fine.
Ya can't please everyone nor they, you.

I think you should not say anything. That's too bad about your SIL but perhaps one day she will mellow out and change. I'd just be polite.

Sorry. There is not a nice way to say, "I hate you and I don't want a single thing to do with you any more."

Yes, there is a reason to give a present other than because someone likes you. It's because you're part of the family. Many people in MANY families receive Christmas and birthday gifts because they're relatives, although with little other reason.

This is a *family* gift-giving system going on, and SIL-to-you is part of it. It's not a great sacrifice to accept a gift and say, "Thank you." Let SIL's attitude be her problem, not yours! It will help your husband to stay in good contact with his family. See if you can develop a sense of humor about this whole thing. It sometimes requires a lot of humor to deal with kinfolk.

What you do with the gift later... is your business.

I think no good can come from your husband telling her not to give you gifts. I believe it will only make her offended and things worse. Just grin and bear it.

please be nice....& the bigger soul! Let her look like the idiot she seems to be......

It took us a couple of years to break the overgifting and I totally agree with your take on it. The same people who give gifts show up at funerals pining over people they hated. Ridiculous.

For the sake of peace, especially since they pretend there is nothing wrong, you can accept the gifts then donate them. That is what I did last year when his sister started back with the gifts

"Grin and bear" someone getting you a gift?
That sounds just a tad biothcy, don't you think?
Your husband buys and send gifts to her & her kids birthday and Christmas gifts--are they also "from you"?

What if YOU go the extra mile?
What if YOU start picking out & sending their gifts?
What if YOU give her a call occasionally?
What if YOU stop the "your family--you buy" game you're playing?

Do you think possibly the relationship might move forward?
This is a LIFETIME thing--even though the PAST has not been "friendship" status--who knows what a little gratitude, effort and kindness might cultivate for the FUTURE!?

Unexpressed expectations (your want of a good relationship) are causing the conflict. Have you ever actually TOLD her you would like a closer relationship? If not, how is she supposed to know?

If her gift giving irks you that much, think of em as gifts from her hubby and kids.. Telling her you don't want her *stinkin* gifts will just make your encounters even more tense.

let me make this about me for a second because I need the example to tell you what i would do. My MIL hated me before I met my husband. She was not a good mother to my husband and is incapable of true feelings. so anyways, on my first Christmas with my children a box had come for me from my mother in law. I had given birth to my twins 6 months before. I open the box on Christmas to find 1 white paper and 1 box of crayons with a note from my MIL: i know you don't have a hobby, so I thought you start one.
paper and a pack of crayons while taking care of 6 months old twins.
that is when i said no more gifts. if you don't like me, or have a problem with me, why would you buy me a gift? christmas gift-giving is to say to someone i am thinking of you, I love you, you are important to me, i know you...not to waste 5 bucks to offend someone you clearly don't like. To this day, i don't have a budget for specific people, I buy what i think a certain person would love, not because it's cheap, and i just want to be done with it.

The gift isn't just from her but from her husband and kids as well. Your family gets a gift for her, knowing full well you don't like her (because of her issue w/ you but still). Either grin and bare it or ask your husband to talk to his sister and just buy for the kids this year.

I am kind of surprised at this question. So I will say this, I am the kind of person who gets a present for you because I want to like you and I want you to like me and feel appreciated. Did she just out and out say 'Hey, I don't like you, ' or did you decided this based on situations? Oftentimes people are thinking and pensive and appear to not like us. They are often intimidated by other circumstances and surroundings and although you might be present you might not really be even thought of at the moment. Or the last resort is maybe they just don't like you. But she buys you presents? Is that a person who represents Christmas or not? I think so. And why would you be worried about HER money? Next, oftentimes the 'not liking part' in families is more jealousy. You married her brother so thus perhaps in her mind it annihilated their relationship. Whoa this is the holiday season. so go easy. Sounds like you both need to talk this out. It also sounds like you don't like her a little bit.
wishing you good luck in this holiday season.