Can Anybody Help and Give Advice?

I didn't go through this, but I was told my child was dead, then twins (very big)and then Down's Syndrome. We were told to abort the child and I refused. He is almost twenty years old!And healthy! I do not know everything, but I suggest you do more homework and hang in there a little bit. I saw another mother post something and it looks like she has a healthy normal five year old! Just never know...

A. - I went through this EXACT situation with my now 5 year old ! We found out at 18 week sonogram. The doctor doing the sono told me the SAME thing. I have SO MUCH advice and information for you that it's unreal. I will PM you with more info but to tell you shortly - my son is COMPLETELY normal and healthy except for an enlarged bladder. Yes - I felt that this was the end of the world also and was upset for almost 7 months. That doctor also told me that there weren't any genitals present. Well - let me tell you - he will make some woman very happy some day ! I was told my the doctor to abort and didn't since I too am anti abortion. And now I wouldn't trade this child for the world. I believe he is destined for something wonderful. Ok - enough for here - I'll PM you with my story and what all we did.

Edit - I just saw another post and the poster talked about the organ development and toxins. According to what my urologist and specialist ob told me - baby's urine in utro is sterile. There are NO toxins. It is what makes the amniotic fluid. So if there is amniotic fluid - the lungs are developing (depending on how much room there is) and the baby is peeing somehow.

All I can say is, I've known several people who have been given dire reports about their baby and a miracle happend...the baby arrived with little or no complications at all. If they had listened to their doctors, they would have aborted a perfectly viable child. These friends have no regrets. Yes, they were definitely afraid, but they read inspirational books, prayed, and put it in God's hands.

Do not be afraid to demand that the doctors do everything within their power to help you keep this baby. Leave the rest to providence. Go through with the pregnancy and let God make the decision for you, and accept His will. Pray for strength to bear the outcome regardless, and you will know what was meant to be took place.

You will find that if things do not work out, you will be at peace that you did everything for your baby while they were with you.

I had to make a similar choice. I chose to not abort. I asked the doctors to do whatever they could to help save the pregnancy. While our angel was eventually taken to heaven, I found peace that while my little one was with me, I gave her my all while she was here. I have no regrets.

I would def get a second opinion FIRST! Pray about it and follow your gut along with your husband and doctors advice/support. I am going to say a prayer for you and your baby.

A., my heart breaks for you, and for your husband, your toddler and for your little one. Please know that I will keep you on my prayer list, and ask God, the Great Physician to wrap you and your little on in His loving arms and protect and love you...and surround you with an extra measure of His grace.
I agree with the other Moms that I would seek a 2nd...and maybe even a 3rd opinion!!! Then you and your husband need to sit down together, with your doctor and discuss your options. You need to explore what the possibilities are for in utero surgery at some stage, find what the doctor feels is the best path to follow. I agree with you about aborting your baby...I believe that each life has a purpose...and only God knows what that purpose is. Let your heart be peaceful and calm...know that God is in control...and don't try to run ahead of Him...let Him guide you!!!
In His Love,
R. Ann

Everything else with the child seems to be great. Stay in God's word and His love, He will guide you and your family the whole way. He's with you :)

A. I am so sorry to hear this. Since you want to do everything possible for your baby could you go for a second opinion and also get all the suggestions the dr's give you in writiing? It does sound odd that all is well besides the bladder. There are a bunch of surgeries that are preformed in utero, and maybe as your child grows that would be an opton for you. Stay positive and search for more input and a second opinion. Best of luck to you.

Perhaps to clarify this I'd like to add that I think that if a bladder is blocked, poisons remain in the body to do damage to other organs. You are not facing a simple dilemma. I'm guessing that if your baby hasn't ever passed urine that there is the possibility of some damage already having happened tho it can't be seen yet.

I'm also guessing that the reason for your baby to not have passed urine may not be able to be fixed. They won't know until they operate to put in a shunt. If that's the case, you'll have gone thru surgery and all the negative effects that will have on your body and your family for nothing. Could the surgery also affect your ability to become pregnant again?

I also believe that God puts each one of us on earth for a reason and I'm basically anti-abortion tho I strongly believe that the decision to abort is between that family and their God. I think God did give us free will and he expects us to make decisions such as whether or not an abortion is the right action for us at the time. Your baby may already be serving her purpose by putting you in this position to make this decision. I believe that there is no right answer because with either an abortion or not you will learn and mature in ways that are important to you. You can say God arranged this so that I will have lost a baby as well as saying God has arranged this so that I will have the experience of trying to keep this baby alive. There are no guarantees of any sort in this situation.

First what is the percentage of a chance that they can successfully implant a shunt? Then, if you do choose to try a shunt and they are successful what are the percentages for her being born reasonably healthy? What are the best and worst case scenarios? I suggest that you weigh all of this when making your decision. Make a list with two columns, one for reasons to do the surgery and one for reasons to not do the surgery. Combine that with prayer and you will your answer. Maybe not a certain one but one with which you'll be more certain than the opposite.

I also suggest that you take your emotions out of the decision as much as possible. Make an informed intellectual decision and then take a look at your emotions and fit them into the equation.

If this decision were mine and I remind you, I'm able to sit here without any emotional involvement, I'd most likely choose to abort given the low percentage of chance that the surgery will be successful and if it is that baby will survive during the next few months. You have a 3 yo who is here now and also needs your love. I suggest that she needs to be your first priority. Yes, she, too, will learn and adjust during this time but at 3 she is more vulnerable to developing difficulties as a result of the stress that your family is having. If she were older, I might think differently. At 3 she is unable to understand what is happening and she needs ongoing, without interruption as much as possible involvement with her parents

Yes, I would get a second opinion first.

Many miracles happen with prayer! Do you have a church? If so ask them to pray with you. Ask them all to keep your baby in their prayers. I am sorry this is happening, but I think a second opinion is due. Please continue to pray that by a miracle the next ultra sound is fine, but if something is wrong and by chance something happens try to remember (though it will be hard) that everything happens for a reason. I pray you and your baby are just fine and it was a fluke. I am also not trying to be mean or anything. I say pray and pray some more and get a second opinion soon! HUGS *Ash

Don't give up hope. From my experience, doctors are also paranoid of getting sued for malpractice and so often they will tell the worst prognosis - expect the worst, hope for the best type of attitude to prepare the mom.

I suggest you and Deanna G talk a lot about her baby and just hold on to prayer. If Deanna G's baby had the exact same thing and is fine, yours will probably be fine too.

Hi, A.:

Your answers are within you. All we are doing is affirming you in the decision you have to make. If there is a procedure to be done, your higher self will guide you to make the right decision.

We are all with you on your journey. D.

just wanted to tell you that me and my mother said a prayer for you and your baby tonight? may god bless you.

I am so sorry. We were also told that our son was likely not to survive, and he's running around, driving me mad right now! (It was a totally different situation, though.) But I know how devastating it is to be told that. Just know that however it works out, you did your best, and it is NOT your fault.

I think you need to seek a second (and maybe third) opinion. If they all agree, you have a tough decision to make. If they don't, well, you have an even tougher one. Get as many facts as you can, and then make a decision you and your husband can live with. Sometimes we get handed pretty crappy choices.

I just want to tell you that doctors do not know everything. I was in a car accident and told that I would never walk again. I lead a normal life. I was told that I would never be able to have kids. Duh.... I have three!! They are all perfect as can be. I would put it in the hands of God. Get in a prayer chain. Talk to another doctor. You do what you feel that you need to do.