Can Any One Help Me Be a Better Me?

K., you say you have goals but, honey, they will not come to you wrapped in a box. The good thing is that you recognize you are undisciplined so that is your starting point. A good way to gain discipline is to start an exercise program, whether it is running, walking or going to the gym. Start by setting a length of time to do the exercise and stick to it. The only thing that will stop you is yourself. If you choose to walk start with a 15 min. walk and work up to 30 or 45 min. But be disciplined in sticking to your goal and realize that sitting on the couch will only hinder you and will not help you in any way. Once you have gained the mindset of disciplining yourself it will spill into everything else you do. You don't have to give up TV or the computer but cut back the time you spend on these activities. Once you know that these things will in no way help you achieve your goals, the sooner you will become closer to your goals. You are the only one who can change the track you are on. Wish you the very best and I know you can do it!!

Contact Southwest Institute of Healing Arts in Tempe for a complimentary life coaching session. Also attend their Gifts and Graces (also complimentary) every first Friday of every month at 6 pm. It might change your life! I rarely miss it, even after attending my first 5 years ago!

Blessings, to you, K.!

find a church or voulenteer. Life is way too short to waste. Nothing will happen until you act first. You have to find purpose. No one else can find it for you. I have a great church and it completes my life

Sorry to hear you are going through this struggle. Have you ever been diagnosed with depression? It is possible that is what could be causing you to hold back. It may be that you are not undisciplined, but depressed and unmotivated?

If this is not the case, I would suggest trying to achieve your goals in small steps. Set a goal to do something for yourself each day for at least five minutes. Do something that helps you feel better, even if it's five minutes of jumping jacks. I know I have to struggle through the day sometimes myself, especially to do something for me, outside of working from home, and I have kids!
Best wishes! I hope this advice helps somehow. Feel free to let me know how you are doing.

Make a list of what you want your life to look like in 5 years. Then imagine back from there to 3 years. Then imagine back from there 1 year. Then make a list of things you need to do to get to your 1 year goal. Take baby steps. Focus on one completing one set of items at a time. Meditate in the mornings, even if just for 3 minutes, eat well, keep your body rested AND enjoy yourself in positive merriment.
Don't beat yourself up for delays or mistakes. Honor your process by celebrating yourself and when you feel overwhelmed, pick something simple to do and get it done.
You can't help but to get somewhere if you just start walking. :)

and...schedule a color therapy treatment with me to jump start your connection with your personal program and inner knowing. I have a coupon in the ad section. Have fun! C. Alma, DOM

Hey there! I just noticed that you are K. B w/ a Y too. It caught my attention. You don't see our name spelled this way very often. Good luck with reaching your goals. I don't have much advice, but I would say to start spiritually. Let God lead you He will help you achieve your goals and make you successful.

www.flylady.net. She will get you started and she's free! I'm the same way. I am taking a bible study on this at my church and it has been helpful too.

T. C
www.spaescapescottsdale.com

I totally understand. You know the saying "If you want something done ask a busy person"? I think the best way to start working on goals is to start doing something regimented like a regular job with regular hours (especially working with others whom you like and who rely on you). A suggestion for this would be part time at a starbucks. Then, add things on like a class you are interested in taking. You could also meet up with some of the responders to your question in your area (I'm in Albuquerque). I'd be happy to check in with you if you like. All of the other responses are great! Sounds like you just need a mentor. Good luck.

Just one bite at a time is how you eat ...try not looking at the whole table of food...In other words. 1. set only one small goal a day. One small thing you will do anytime during the day leave a note on your bedroom door do it or don't sleep. If you don't get it done the first day ...try again. But really celebrate when you do it and don't beat yourself up when you miss. Don' expect change overnight.
2. Now add a second thing with the same guidlines. Increase only in small baby steps. Always know that you can and afirm that you can...not doing it on occassion does not constitute failure it only put success another day away.

Turn off the TV. Television programing is purposefully designed to raise your stress levels in order to keep you watching. Too much is not good for you. Interaction with people is much more healthy and exciting.

1. Make yourself a top 10 list, things you like to do.
2. Find a group or club or class that enjoys the same thing or things.
(like Bike riding, playing cards or batgammon, fishing, cooking, hiking, birdwatching.)

Find a hypnotherapist!

Until you reach a deeper level, any changes you want to make will be on a shallow level. You have to find a way to connect your subconscious drives with your willpower. Hypnosis is very powerful for that.

Use one certified by ACHE, or ASCH. It will cost between $75 and $600, depending on how much therapy you need, but it will be well worth it. If you are wondering what is driving you to sit around, you can find out. If you're wondering why you decide to do something in your conscious mind and then you don't do it, it's because your subconscious isn't on board. Engaging your subconscious mind means your whole self will be a part of the change. Any change you try without your subconscious will fail because it is very powerful, and usually wins. Addictions are subconscious drives -- how powerful is that?

Good luck!

Is hard to get motivated. I know, for years I allowed myself to feel the same way. It takes discipline! I recently started to exercise, go to a all womens sweatlodge in Fort Defiance, which help to relieve day to day stress of being in different roles each day.

So get up, move around, dont allow yourself to sit and watch tv! Do anything......it takes baby steps!

Today after a couple of months....I feel really good about myself!!!

d

Purchase the book "If you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat". It is by a christian author...so you may find it at a christian book store or I know they have it on amazon. it will be life changing!

sounds like a call for yoga. try a yoga class three times a week and see how you feel in a month.
good luck

Hello K.,
I'd start by beginning your day with some form of workout, allowing your endorphines to be released. I'd sit down and start organizing a list of things you'd like to accomplish, then put them in another list from ones you can reach now to ones that you can work up to. You're just in a desert period of your life, a rut as it's called, but you can break that! I'd also take a day to pamper yourself, have your hair cut and colored or highlighted. Go out and get a few cute outfits and/or get a manicure and pedicure. You really have to start with loving yourself. I hope I helped!!

Well how about setting realistic goals and giving yourself a break.Start small like looking for a job.Realistically try something you know you can do.Also on the T.v. try turning off the set for 1hr and do something else like a project or a bit of tiding up around your living area.Be observant and look for things to improve on.You are already a better you because you are trying to improve.The only advice is keep it simple.This will be an ongoing process.Do not get discouraged.Everything has a reason for being exactly the way it is.Look for solutions and you should be doing better soon.Pray for the willingness to do something different.Keep a journal and write down what you want to do and start at the bottom and work your way up.This is all a process not an event. you can do anything.

Seek out a nearby, friendly church and perhaps a professional counselor. Maybe you are depressed and need help to get motivated about life and taking care of yourself! Seek out volunteer work that interests you. There is someone out there that could use your help and finding your niche will help you to make further decisions in your life.

Get a calendar, fill it out with things your are going to do each day. Maybe one thing a day - but you have to commit to yourself that you WILL do that one thing. One day at a time. Keep that calendar going. Join a group that interests you - don't just look for one, actually GO and if you like it add it to your calendar. (Craft group, visit elderly, watercolor class.) DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF, the Lord created the unique person that you are, keep seeking His purpose for your life. He loves you no matter where you've been and no matter what you've done in the past. Make today the day you begin your new life - one day at at time!

God Bless!

Are you serious about this or is it just a joke? The reason I ask is because you posted this on a mother's website and as you put you are not a mother. If you are serious you sound like you are lonely and I am sure everyone can understand that feeling. I am not a life coach but if you really need someone to help motivate you I can try to help. I am a mother of two young girls, I am married and I live in surprise, AZ. I don't go to work but I feel like I do a lot of work here at home. Well if I can be of help to you let me know, if not good luck with everything.

Your challenge is HUGE!! I know what you are facing with different reasons and behaviors in my past.
1. PACK ALL COMPUTER GAMES AND SELL THEM. With the money you get, take yourself to a day spa and spend it all on caring about you, hair, massage, facial, what ever you choose.

2. GET OUTSIDE, WALK AROUND THE BLOCK, GO FOR A HIKE. Get a different view of life from on high.

3.IF NEED BE, SELL THE TV, OR STORE IT AT SOMEONE'S HOUSE. YES it is possible to be addicted to TV. The electronic energy is hypnotizing and ruins many goals and dreams, minds and bodies.
The EMF energy imitates, drains and replaces a healthy nervous system from being busy and happy with life and exercise.

4. MAKE A LIST OF YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS AND HANG IT WHERE YOU CAN SEE IT EVERYDAY. Buy a pretty notebook, I like the hologram notebooks WalMart has, and write a letter to yourself at the front of the book, starting your journal. Write the biggest story of how it is when your goals and dreams are real. You must include details of feelings, colors, ideas,
when it happens,etc. God cannot send angels to help you if you don't know what you want.

5. START JOURNALING INSTEAD OF WATCHING TV. Reflect on deep feelings, good and bad, and steps you are taking to change.

6. START READING, VERRRY CHALLENGING AFTER TV. Joel Osteen's Book: BECOMING A BETTER YOU is a good place to start. He is so upbeat and common sense.

7. SIGN ON FOR THIS 10 WEEK CLASS FOR FREE STARTING MARCH 3.
if you have a computer. Go to Oprah.com and sign on for the workshop by Tolle. IT is FREE.

8. IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO COACH YOU FURTHER, LET ME KNOW. I love working with young people wanting to change their life.
I have been an addiction counselor for youth and know what you face, TV Is a drug. What kind of flower do you want to be?
There is life after TV. So many things to learn and do. Get Started on the small things and look to the big ones.