Breaking Son of Sleeping Habit

The doll sounds like a great idea. I would sleep with it for awhile to make it smell like you (new dolls always smell plasticy anyway). That way when you give the doll to him it won't seem as unfamiliar.

And so what if he needs a doll to go to sleep? My son had a blankie that had to stay in his room unless he was spending the night somewhere. Then the blankie came out at the same time jammies did. Tell him it is his sleepy doll or bedtime friend or something so he understands better. And if he carries it around some? he's 2.5, he has plenty of time to outgrow it before school.

M.,

Who cares if your little boy carries around a doll? Find him something he can bond with as you suggested and let him be happy! Our pediatrician is male; maybe his parents let him have dolls, I don't know. Even police officers need to learn to deal with children and babies in a reassuring manner. I can only think that early training can help. What about hairdressers? There is really no good reason why boys are so discouraged from having dolls and avoiding learning to be good fathers. If anyone did say anything, you can tell them your son is more open-minded than the rigid stereotypes which dictated that men remain ignorant of babies, love, kindess, caring, etc. (After all, you work; behavior not consistent with the strict gender-roles we often perpetuate without thinking about it.)

My 5 yr old son bonded with a white stuffed tiger he named "Mommy-Tiger" and he carries her everywhere--to the store, to the zoo, to the library, wherever we go.

Best wishes,
K.

Hey M.
My cousin used to do that to his mother. They did end up bying him a baby doll with hair and it worked!! Soon he will grow out of it and then you don't have to worry but for right now you should try it! Good luck with everything

M., I think you've got the right idea --> finding a transitional object that includes a characteristic that closely resembles your hair. There are some really good, soft fabrics that he might find soothing (if cut and sewn into long strands!) such as minkee or a supersoft microfleece. Or a doll w/ realistic hair sounds good to me, too. As far as what others think... your sleep is more important than what others think about your son's lovey, in my opinion (hehe, you can disregard what I think too, if it doesn't work for you)!

Have you read Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers" or West's "Good Night, Sleep Tight" book? Both seem like they'd be very appropriate to the age/stage of your son, and sometimes in the middle of the night what we parents need most is a pre-determined plan (decided on by us, not necessarily what a sleep expert recommends - you can pick and choose what you want to incorporate into your plan) to use so that we don't have to "figure it out on the fly" when we're groggy and desperate for more sleep. I do think it's true that consistency is key (given the child is having a normal, healthy day), so if you come up with a plan that you like, and then you and your partner both consistently give that unified, loving message to your son, he will likely be sleeping well within a month or so. You don't have to do "cry it out" and you don't have to have it be 100% tear free, either. Find what works for all of you, don't hesitate to get creative - a really sweet friend of mine who I think is a great mom actually wrote up a little script w/ a Sharpie pen that she posted on the door to her toddler son's room, and she would just lovingly, genuinely recite that script when doing sleep routine and helping her son learn to sleep on his own. She told me about this, almost as if she was embarassed, and I was quick to tell her how clever I though it was. So, don't hesitate to get creative. :)

By the way, I think it's wonderful that you are trying to maintain balance in your family, recognizing that you need more/better sleep and working towards that while also trying to make it a smooth, respectful, loving transition for your son. I know you will figure out an approach that will work best for all of you, and your idea for a lovey that simulates your hair seems like a great first step. Best of luck to you!

you can, if you're really worried about it, find boy dolls - think dora and diego. however, at this age, they don't care, so why should we? my brother used to want bows in his hair because i had them, so my mom would put them in for him. he got over it - he's now happily married to a wonderful girl (and btw, does not wear bows in his hair! lol)

Hi M.,
You are not alone my 16 month old son does the same exact thing!!I also breastfed and he would play with my hair till he fell asleep.He doesn't play with anyone else's hair but mine so i think its a security thing.My son sleeps with me cause he doesn't sleep very good anyway partly from his eczema and he sleeps better in my bed than his crib.I tried the cry it out thing and wasn't satisfied with the result so i don't plan on doing it again.I also was going to try the doll thing and maybe try to give it to him only at night(not sure how that's gonna work)but at this point i'll try anything lol! I wouldn't worry about what other people say your sleep is more important! Sorry i don't have any advice i just wanted to let you know your not alone!Good luck let me know if you find anything that works and i'll let you know if i do!