What to Do with Kitty Cat Blanket?

My daughter is 13 and still sleeps with her "blankie!" She has had the same one since she was a baby, and she also used to take it everywhere. You need to stop having your daughter bringing it places, but by all means she should still sleep with it. My neice even had a "cuddle" thing to sleep with when she was 16, and one of my daughter's friends has "bookie" to sleep with - it's a soft book that she's also had since a toddler. Start by letting you daughter only bringing it in the car, but not out of the car, then only around the house. My kids still like to cuddle with theirs when they get up and watch TV, etc. There's nothing wrong with a security blanket, especially for sleeping!

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HI T.,
I'm going to have to side with your daughter on this one! :)
I had my blanket for YEARS! I'm talking into my thirties. I'm talking I had it on my honeymoon. When I was little, I used it for security purposes. I really loved it. Thankfully my folks never made an issue of it and never tried to take it away from me. As I got older, I just had it at home and took it on sleepovers. The first time I spent the night at my best friends house (we were 13) I sheepishly brought out my blanket. You know what? She had her special bear that was loved to bits!
As an adult, I just kept it in a drawer. It was there but seldom did I bring it out. Now I wouldn't be able to tell you where it is. I don't think about it-don't 'need' it anymore.
I just want you to know that I'm normal, I have two kids, I have held good jobs (now I stay home with the kids)and I am head of several committees. I don't think that having a blanket has negatively impacted my life at all.
It's a tough world for these little ones. The blanket soothes her so why not let her keep it?
Sometimes you just have to ask yourself (as I ask myself and my mom asked herself, etc.) 'is this the hill I want to die on?'
I think the 'keeping the blanket home' rule is a good one. Your daughter will eventually give up her blanket. Perhaps you can let it be when she is good and ready. :)

Now I am going to find my blankie and take a break! :)

E.

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Hi T.,
My oldest, age 13, has a 7 inch teddy bear she still sleeps with. She takes it with her to sleep overs but that is the only time it leaves the house. My son, age 10, has a recieving blanket that he loves. It doesn't leave the house but each of my 4 kids sometimes hide the other kids favorite thing when they are mad at them. I think it is fine to have something special as long as it can be washed once in a while to clean away the germs. Let her have her blanket for at home. If it stays by her pillow it will always be there to comfort her when she lies down.D.

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I'm happy to hear that you figured out your plan. Good luck!!

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I would let her keep it, and just continue with the Kitty stays at home rule. I had my "blankie" forever! I even took it with me to camp when I was 12 - it helped me sleep :) I still have my blankie (tucked up in the corner of the linen closet) and don't see anything wrong with letting a child keep their security object as long as they want to. If you take it away it's more likely to cause emotional issues than if you just leave it alone. When it's causing a problem, other people are touching it or she is getting upset, tell her it needs to go back to her bed, and she has the option to stay with it in bed or leave it there for later - leave the choice up to her. Good luck!

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Slowly cut the blanky down until it gets smaller and smaller and there's nothing left of it.

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You could try making something out of it that she could take with her. Maybe a purse type thing she can take stuff to school in. Tell her it is time to change and Kitty can change with her. If she leaves it at home I wouldn't worry about it but I'm not you. So maybe you can find a way to take it with you. Good luck.

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no advice, just a story....

i had a blankie when i was younger. same story as your daughter pretty much (and the 1st responder to your post). i took it everywhere. only as i got older did i stop bringing it all over the place. but i still have it/use it.

my son actually sucks his blankie. we're really glad that he's not obsessed with one particular one. it just has to be a certain material. hubby & i are still trying to figure out what to do with him/the blankie. it hasn't posed much of a problem (unless we forget to bring it). he really only wants it when he wants to relax/nap. he'll be starting school in august...so we'll see. i just want to make sure that he's not emotionally scarred behind whatever happens to the blankie.

good luck!!! and please let us know what happened.

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T.,

We had the exact same problem with the binkey, but the solution could easily be adapted to fit the blankie. When WE were ready to get rid of binky, we told our son about the "Binky Fairy". We let Tyler know that whenever HE was ready, that all he had to do was let us know, and then but ALL the binkys under his pillow (much like the tooth fairy) and the fairy would replace it with a "big boy" something... He was just DYING to get a big boy watch at the time. So we talked about the watch all the time. Even went out of our way to go look at tehm while we were in stores that sold them. Once he found one he loved, I bought it to have on hand when he was ready.

That took about 1 week. He told us one night that he was ready to be a big boy, and that he hoped somehow the binky fairy knew he was, and would trade his nasty binkys for a new watch!!

If it helps, do NOT think of it as bribery, think of it as positive reinforcement! EVERYTHING works better when it's the child's time frame. They just often need a bit of encouragement...

And when she asks for it back (and she WILL) do not give in, that will certainly set you up for issues down the line. Let her know it's gone, but she has the "big girl ___________" instead!

Good luck!

H.

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My daughter had her lovey bear and was the same way. She brought it to preschool because they would nap there and they said it was OK for her to bring an "attachment object" for naptime, otherwise it stayed in the cubby. I was all ready for her to stuff lovey into the backpack for kindergarten, but she told me that "loveys only go to preschool, not kindergarten". and within 6 months, she does not even sleep with lovey at home. She made a nice little bed for lovey with a little blanket and pillow.

You will have to decide what the policy is on kitty for kindergarten. Maybe you can get her to decide that kitty does not belong in school (what if she forgot her there!?!?! That happened to us a couple of times) or just leave her in the backpack for emergencies. I have seen one mom pick up her daughter everyday with a very loved zebra stuffed animal and the daughter hugs the zebra, then the mom. Maybe you could do that kind of routine.

It is really not a very big deal, I think there are lots of kids who still have "attachment objects" at her age. She will outgrow it and then you will be sad!

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Even though your daughter is starting school, let her keep her blanket. Make it a game to her and tell her that big girls have to keep their blankies at home. Tell her that her stuffed animals will take care of her blankie while she is gone. I did it with my oldest son. He had a stuffed animal that did not leave his side so we picked one of his other stuffed animals to babysit while he was at school. it worked like a charm. especially when you throw the whole big boy or girl in your case thing in there. good luck.

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My sister was having the same issue with her daughter. What she did was make the blanket smaller, about the size of a large hankerchief, this way her daughter had a "travel sized" blanket to take places. Slowly her daughters dependence decreased and now at age 5 she is no longer insisting on having it any more. It may take some time. My son doesn't have to have it all the time, but still wants his blanket when he sleeps, and he's 7. Be patient and things will resolve.

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I wouldn't do a thing more than you are doing - making and following through with limits about where kittycat blanket goes.
It sounds to me as though your little one has that one, last 'baby' thing for security. As long as she doesn't have to take it everywhere, I really, really would not worry. It isn't hurting anything or anyone, and it must give her a great deal of comfort.
My little sister sucked a pacifier wa-a-ay later than anyone liked or approved of (about 3 1/2). . . but since the next oldest sister had deformed her upper palate with thumb sucking, my parents let her! She asked to take it to the first day of nursery school and my folks said they didn't think any other 'big girls' had them, but okay. . . That was the last time the pacifier left the house, and she stopped needing it on her own not too much later.
a note - I have a mid-forties friend who uses a scrap of the satin binding from her childhood 'bankie' as a bookmark, & rubs it between her fingers as she's reading.
don't worry, don't worry! she sounds as if she's really well developed in every aspect of 4-year-old-hood.

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Some of the things that moms from my chrush have done are these:

Cut the blanket into 4 pieces. Let her have one piece and either toss, hide, or scrapboom the rest. after a few weeks, cut it even smaller, then again in a few more weeks, until it is small enough to fit in her pocket.

Let her choose a new fabric at the fabric store to a TEENY blanket (loke for her dolls). Try to choose, or have her choose, one that is fleece, becuse they require no sewing.

Find a pg mom or mom of a new born that would go along with it, and tell your daughter how much the other baby needs kitty. Try to get her to willingly give it to the baby.

"Loose it" on vacation. Forget it in the hotel room, drop it in the river, leave it on the plane... when ever it is that you can get it away from her just long enough for it to go bye-bye. YES- She will be devestated for a few nights, but she will get over it.

Tell her what a big girl she is becomeing and that "big girls don't take kitty with them everywhere." Make a chart (or use your calendar) and let her put a sticker on it every night that "Kitty" has stayed on her bed the whole day. After say, 2 weeks, let her choose "any toy she wants from Dollat Tree". She is old enough to understand that she is earning toward a reward. The first reward is maybe at 2 weeks, then 3 weeks, then a month, the 6 weeks. (By then, it will be a habbit, and shouldn't really be an issue still, but if so, next reward is 3 months, then 6 months...

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Okay I am confused! Why do you want to get rid of Kitty blanket. If you daughter wants it and needs it to feel secure, why the need to get rid of it.

also if you get rid of it she may develope other ways to feel secure such a thumb sucking or seperation anxiety.

I have a 12 who is extremely independent and smart. Everyone jokes she will be an attorney or the president because she always wants to negotiate everything.

She has a teddy bear since she was 1 year old and still uses it. I don't know why but it makes her feel good when she is under too much pressure or feels the world is unkind. It gives her comfort that none of us can.

Our children are all so... different and have seperate needs. They all experience changes in their bodies and environment different than each other. The hardest thing is to let them be themselves and not push on them what we think they should be doing or acting at certain ages. They all develop differently.

My miss independent who has been sleeping over at people's houses since an infant suddenly developed an anxiety about it the end of 4th grade and it lasted until the end of 6th. She was nervous about starting middle school and the fact she was no longer going to be a kid anymore but entering the teenage years. She was very excited but just wasn't comfortable being away from us overnight, since she wasn't going to get back this time, she said. A physcologist said this is very common and your most independent children are the ones who alot of times have the blankie or teddy even into college. It is the anchor to the family of the item that they need.

Now she is fine!

There have been some items my girls inparticular have had a hard time giving up, baby bottles, baby bibs, baby plates etc. They each have a large rubbermade clear plastic tub in the attic. We place mementos in them all the time and they know where they are and can visit them whenever. Also the fact the tubs are clear they make up fantasy games that the items can visit each other because they can see through the tubs. My girls started this when 5 & 6 and are now 10 & 12 and it is still going strong. They just visited the attic this past weekend and showed their friends their baby stuff. Maybe this will help.

Good Luck!

S. Chase

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Hi T.,

I didn't read through every response, so forgive me if this is a repeat. There is a lovely children's book by Kevin Henkes called "Owen."

http://www.amazon.com/Owen-Caldecott-Honor-Kevin-Henkes/d...

It's a Caldecott Honor award winner & an adorably sweet book to have in your daughter's library no matter how you decide to handle kitty. It does end with cutting the blankie to make it pocket-sized -- which would not work in your daughter's case, since she is sensitive to having her kitty get hurt... but it might be nice for her to know that there are other "children"(Owen is a mouse) out there who love their blankies too... and it's an opportunity for you to dialog about Owen's blankie and how you have a different plan for kitty.

Enjoy!

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Hi T..

I had the same problem with my 17 yr old when she started school. Her blankie went everywhere with her. She did take her blankie to school with her but....she had to leave it in her backpack. She knew it was there but was not aloud to take it out. When she started 1st grade we cut a 2x2 corner off and she could carry it in her pocket. If she took it out though she would no longer be able to take it with her. This worked great. If she felt stressed she would touch it. By the time she was in 2nd grade. The need was no longer there.

Hope this helps. It worked for us and with little crying.
Good Luck! B.

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I'm 31 and I still have my "silky blankie." I don't use it, but its still in the house. Your daughter has formed and attachment to "kitty" and its her way of feeling safe. With the new changes of starting school and being a big girl, she may need that security. Instead of getting rid of the blanket, I would suggest making it a special bedtime thing. The blankie must stay in her bed (that way she won't have to worry about people hurting it) and she still has it when she needs help sleeping or is sick or sad.

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Hi T.! I guess that i see no harm in keeping it around a bit longer but if it is dire to put "kitty blankie" to sleep :) you could try telling her that big girls do not use the blankie unless they are sleeping, and offer to replace it with something else(toy, priveliges, etc.) Just a suggestion. My 2 year old is the exact same way with his blanket. I still am in the thinking it is cute atge, but i am sure that i will be right there with you soon enough. Maybe you could try buying her a goldfish as a trade off for the blanket? Just thoughts, take care!! J. in SD

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I am sorry I don't have any profound advice to offer, just my own story. My son had a blanket he was very attactched to, and wouldn't go to bed without it when he was that age. We took it with us on a trip to my parent's house. We stayed over night at a hotel along the way and left it behind by accident. We playacted his hysterics by telling him we would pick it up on the way home. I even called the hotel, who told us they found no blanket. I am sure they threw it away as trash, the nasty old thing was so worn out. We kept telling him every night for a week we would try again on our way home. When we asked at the hotel again, they told us they could not find it. By that time he could accept it was gone. It was still a sad thing for him. I think it helped him to know that we cared and that we really tried to find it. Doing "big girl" rituals where you give the "kitty" away and replace it with a subsitute like a new activity or gift might help.

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Hello T.,
I agree, there are many hurtful things said on this web page sometimes and this should not be the forum for that! I urge you to report any hurtful comments to Mamasource. I did it once when I read something that was mean and inappropriate and Mamasource thanked me for doing this and took care of the problem. If we report the problems, those "mean" and disrespectful people will hopefully go away.

Now about your question... I had a blankie and no one could have pried it away from me... I would not even let my mom wash it! My mom never forced me to give it up. She let me do it when I was ready. And one day, maybe in first grade, I decided that I was too old to have it anymore. I made my mom put it way up in her closet. High enough that I couldn't reach it but so that I could still see it. I would go in and peek every now and then and I think I even once asked for it back for a while. The moral to my story is that I think I gained a lot more from having to give it up myself than having to get used to it just being gone because it was taken away. I had to learn to be self-reliant and strong. That is an important life lesson. Best of luck and like I always say, go with what your Mommy instincts say! You know your child best!
Love,
J.

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Dear T.,

I am a teacher.

I think you need to substitute a live cat for the blanket, or at the very least, a stuffed toy kitty.

Substitute it for the blanket when she is asleep and tell her the blanket became an actual kitty because of her love for it. She may still cry for the blanket or else want to take the kitty everywhere.

You also ought to read her the children's book The Velveteen Rabbit. It's about a boy who must part with an old toy that becomes contaminated with scarlet fever germs. When the stuffed toy rabbit is thrown away, it sets him free and he changes into a real rabbit because of the boy's love.

Age 4-5 is a very imaginative age, and anything can be anything.

Best,
C.

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Hello T.-
Maybe you could try telling your daughter that Kitty is not able to go to school and would be safer and happier at home. I know exactly what you are going thru. My grand daughter Evy, started Kindergarten last year & would not let Mommy leave her at school. At first Mommy would stay & try & sneak out, while she Evy was distracted. That was a nightmare. Evy ran to her, grabbed her leg & screamed Loudly. Her teacher was very frustrated and one day simply told her Mommy was too big to be at school and needed to get on her way; so the class could begin all the fun things that had been planned for the day. It was a rough 1st week with a few random weepy moments that have since stopped. I wish you & your daughter the best of luck and know this will pass.

M.
p.s. My yougest child & only daughter (17 1/2) still sleeps w/her favorite blanket and stuffed animal. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with something that brings a little comfort into this big scary world.

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Her blanket is a self-soothing "lovey." Lots of kids have that... you just don't see them with it at school. LOL. But I"m sure it is at home.

Perhaps, let her take it to school in her backpack...but she must leave it there and not take it out. I wouldn't tell her she "has" to get rid of it. Just transition her to where and when she can take it out. There is no harm in letting her keep it... I even had one of those soothing things when I was a child...and eventually, it goes away when the child is ready.

Kids who get attached to things, there is nothing wrong with it. In these kids, they have managed to find a "solution" to soothe themselves and it is normal. It even can help them go to sleep. No harm in it.

Now though, she will need to adjust to the "where" and "when" she can use it. Talk with her...she is old enough to understand. She's 4 years old afterall. Just show her you understand...and gently explain the situation. If anything, once she starts school, she may realize on her own...that other kids don't take their "lovey" to school....and she may stop on her own.

All the best, I'm sure with gentle coaxing, she will "realize" on her own...
~Susan

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My son, who is now 15 1/2 years old, was attached to his blankie until we moved when he was 9 1/2 years old, and we finally got rid of it with the move. She's still pretty young and it's understandable that she's still attached to her blankie. Keeping at home sounds reasonable.

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My daughter is 9 and still loves her "blankie" when she is sad or afraid, or just lonely. It never leaves home anymore though, of course, and if she goes to sleepovers, she doesn't miss it.

I know 16 yr olds who, when they are sick, still love their "silkies".

I think it's kind of cruel to just "get rid" of the blanket. I would simply try to have some rules where it stays at home. Tell her it might get lost if she takes it someplace (We once left hers near the lion display at the MGM Grand in Vegas -- luckily it was old and no one took it, so it was still there when we went back for it and she still has it today!) and it is safer if it is at home.

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Hi T.,
I have a 7 year old daughter that has a blanket that she named 'Mimi' when she was a baby. She sleeps with it every night. It does not leave her bed. When she has friends over, she hides it behind her pillows. Mimi is a crochet blanket that has had a lot of love. It is worn, and ripped. I occasionally ask her if she would like to get rid of Mimi, her response is always the same. NO!
I dont fuss over it to much. If it makes her feel comfortable at night, then so be it.
I wouldnt get rid of Kitty.
Heidi

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My daughter is four and has a bunny that sounds a lot like "kitty". It has kind of just naturally eased off lately, luckily. She still likes to sleep with it, which I'm fine with, but she doesn't bring it everywhere any more. She's transitioned into liking fairies so she likes to bring those along. I have a friend who gave a going away party for her little girl's binkies, which is a cute idea. They had the family over and then they tied the binkies to balloons and let them fly away. She said it was so fun that she was fine with it. Maybe something fun like that might work. If not, don't worry too much. When she gets in school she'll want to be a big girl like her friends and won't have time for it probably. Good luck!

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I wouldn't do anything at home. Keep her from taking it to school, but if she insists, there are options. Many children have "loveys" that range from blankies, to special dolls. If she takes it to school, 1st - the teacher will have her put it away in her cubby, 2nd the other kids may tease her - but peer pressure - yes even in kindergarten, will put it to an end quickly. Just like thumb sucking and pacifiers, they will only usse them until they can find another way to self soothe,and face it, she won't have her blankie in high school. She will grow out of it, and why bring trauma to both of your lives by trying to take it away before she is ready.

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maybe talk to her about what is aloud to be brought to school. like tell her that its ok to bring a back pack, crayons, and paper but its not ok to bring things like her blanket (because it will get dirty and torn so it would be better to leave it at home), and name off a few other things that she shouldnt bring to school with her. also maybe tell her that she can ride with it into the car to school and leave her kitty in the car so when shes picked up its there for her or maybe she can have a special box that she can keep it in at home so she feels that its safe when shes not there with it in tow. yes i see how you can get a lot of negative results like people just saying to throw it away or just take it away and let her cry. but i feel that it could do more damage doing that because its part of their security. anyways good luck i hope you find an appropriate plan that works for your daughter!

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My oldest son, now 11, had these two Beanie Babies, "Goose" (who was actually a swan) and "Parrot" that sent everywhere with him from the time he was about 18 months until shortly before Kindergarten. I honestly don't remember how we "broke" him of his need for those "buddies," so I'm no help there, but I can very much relate to having a child who has such an attachment to an inanimate object like that. I really think it's okay that they do, and in some cases, like with my son I think he just finally got to the point where he realized that "big boys" don't carry "buddies" around with them everywhere. Your daughter may come to that realization all on her own once she starts kindergarten. If not, I've heard of performing a ceremony where she leaves her lovey on a special basket on the front porch for the Baby Fairy to collect while she's sleeping to pass on to another little child who needs a lovey. I've also heard, with blankets, to gradually over time cut them down smaller so that after a few months, there's nothing left but a scrap.

I don't know . . . I hope you find a resolution that you can both live with!

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Dear T.,

Our "kitty cat" was a "night-night" (cloth diaper, burp cloth). I loved them because when you had to wash it, there was always another - they were smaller than blankies, and didn't get dragged on the ground as much, etc . . . My youngest and oldest were hyper-attached to them and took them EVERYwhere. With my oldest, my husband realized that he sucked his thumb more when he had his "night-night." - and my husband "lost" them. Nearly magically my son (at nearly 5 y/o stopped sucking his thumb). My "baby" forgot to pack hers when we went away for a week, and was fine without it. When we got home, I ran in the house and hid the three that were laying around. She was very upset, but I just couldn't see that she really needed it when she had been without it and fine the week before. She got over it and was fine (and also stopped sucking her fingers magically at nearly 5 y/o when the night-nights disappeared).

Good luck and God bless!
B.

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Hi Tammy, I'm a gramma now of 4 grandaughters after raising two sons. One of my sons and two of the granddaughters as well as my baby brother (16 years younger than me) had or have something like your daughters soft blanket. Chloe is in kindergarten and her Pooh Bear didn't go to school with her but did go to pre-school until she forgot it so many times that she agreed to leave it at home instead of not have it at bedtime. Now it stays on her bed...her need has decreased but she still loves it and it will go on a shelf or in a cedar chest for future memories when she is ready for that to happen. Sera has a sock monkey that she got as a newborn and she loves it the same way; she's in pre-school now and it stays home. Ken, my brother, kept his blankey the longest. Mom finally had to cut the satin trim off when it became very ragged, and that gave her the idea of gradually cutting it smaller. Every time she laundered it she also cut another inch off around the four edges. Eventually it was about six inches square. It stayed in Ken's room but his need decreased with the size. He never mentioned that it was getting smaller by the way; it was very gradual.
Many children need something to comfort them. All of the girls have been breast fed; two needed something special, so that's not the link. It's just the make up of the child. Once they outgrow it, it's left in memories and they will occasionally mention it or run and get what's left of it, but it goes back in it's place and isn't needed anymore.
I think it's more traumatic to take it away than to let your child out grow the need. Wash it as needed, set limits as to where it goes. As she will start kindergarten where she cannot take it, start talking about when she starts school she won't be able to have it there and find a special place for it to stay while she is gone...like under her pillow. Other times when it's not appropriate now try doing that, promising that it will be there when she gets home.
This is a normal part of childhood for many children and isn't to be considered bad at all. Please don't just get rid of it; that could cause all sorts of unknown problems. Do it gradually and good luck. Just remember it's a normal part of growing up for many kids. I'm sure there are books on the subject, probably some about just such an item as a blanket which is I think the most common item. Good luck.

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i still have my blanket that my grandmother made for me close to 30 years ago. i sleep with it every night and i'm 36 years old. i personally love having my blanket and now my daughter loves to cuddle in it. obviously, i don't take it out with me but it stays on my bed and it is there for me every night....

i even had to fight with an ex-boyfriend of mine over who got my blanket every night. we ended up having to switch off every other night for use. i ended up getting one made for him, which he still uses.....

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We have a bunny. I know how you feel. But I don't see any need to get rid of her comfort object. In time the fascination will become less intense and it will be relegated to the bed or a shelf and you wont have to worry about it. Usually around age 6 or 7 they "wean" themselves :)
We just have a rule that bunny or "kitty" doesn't leave the house. In fact I try to incorporate bunny into our daily life every once in a while. For example does bunny want a snack too?... most of the time she declines the offer, but it seems to help her to know that I accept the ragged little thing :)
You have to do what works for you, but I think taking away something so dear to her might cause a huge issue for no reason.
Even if she did take it to school the teacher would tell her it isnt ok, or the other kids would tease her, and I think the problem will solve itself.
Good luck and hang in there, it will only be a few more years! :)

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Dear Tammi,

In our big scary world, what harm is there in your beautiful, bright, pretty well-behaved, 4 year old daughter having a worn and tattered Kitty Cat Blanket that brings her a measure of comfort and security - for as long as she needs it? Soon enough, peer pressure will cause her to leave it behind or at least to hide it! I have a friend, now in his 60's who had such a blanket and he acutally kept a small piece of his security blanket in a matchbox in his locker at school. Two of my sons (now 32 and 24) had security items, one a blanket, the other a small silk pillow. They both gave them up when they started school. The oldest with the blanket, I finally talked him into him letting me cut it down to about the size of a dish towel, so that it was easier for him to carry around.... by the way, he is now an Army Ranger. They are only babies once, and you will cherish the memories of these "cute" heartwarming memories of her innocence. And remember as she grows, pick your battles, save your energy for the big ones.
God Bless.

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Well, since you desperately want to get rid of Kitty, there are a lot of great methods on here... Have to put in my 2 cents though- don't get rid of it! She has many transitions, challenges, and disappointments ahead in life that Kitty will help her though. Just need to enforce the "Kitty stays in your room" rule (or whatever the baoundary is).
My younger sister is 25 and still has her "Quilty" that she keeps on her bed, it has been with her through many moves and roommates and boyfriends. I know my cousin who is around the same age had a "Nonni", also a Care Bears blanket (someone elses post reminded me of this!) and it was worn down to a kleenex type scrap of material and you couldn't even see the Care Bears on it anymore. Next time I see her I am going to ask where she keeps her Nonni, I just know it must be tucked in a drawer or pillowcase somewhere in her college apt!
So my vote is let her keep it... but you gotta do what you gotta do for your own sanity. Just know that this is a very natural thing for kids.
Loved reading the posts- another book to check out is Ira Sleeps Over. And Linus from Peanuts cartoons keeps coming to mind.
Final Thought, my daughter is 1 and sure seems to love cuddling her stuffties, though no single one has emerged as a frontrunner for her affections yet. Funny how this stuff just develops on its own!

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I don't have any personal experience with this yet (my eight-month old has yet to find anything he likes that much) but my mother-in-law loves to tell the story of how they got my husband to let go of his blankie. They started by cutting it in half (with his understanding). As time went on, they kept cutting it in half until it was only a little square small enough to fit in his pocket. It's my understanding that he carried that little piece around for years so he could rub on it if and when he needed to. Ultimately, he turned it over to his mom with the request that she not throw it away until he said he was ready. And eventually that day came. Anyway, hope this helps (and I hope you don't get a lot of negative responses... I understand fully how you feel about those :-)).

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When you're 4 years old, you're not in control of much. She loves her blanket and it might be a good way to teach responsibility. You could say: "Kitty is getting older so we have to take good care of her. Everyday we should fold her gently and place her under your pillow. That way she'll be safe and waiting for you at bedtime". It might take a couple of weeks but it's less traumatic than kitty disappearing. Good luck, Aunt Maddie

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Not sure if this will work for your little one, but it worked for my brother when he was little. When he was around two he was really attached to his binki. My mom took him to Toys R Us and he really wanted a car. She told him I am sorry honey we don't have any money to buy it but, maybe if you ask the guy who works here he will trade you for something. Well my mom had the guy play along that he would trade the car for the binki. It was a success! He had his car and the binki was gone. He did get a bit upset when the newness of the car was gone, but my mom just told him a deal is a deal. He was mad at the guy at the store more than her. She said the first night was rough, but he was playing with his new car in the morning. I don't know if it would work on your daughter at 4, but maybe it is worth a shot. Good luck, hope you are able to get rid of "kitty"! It's almost like the cat from Stephen King's Pet Cemetary!! LOL

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Hi T.,

Please don't spend any more time on ideas for getting rid of the blanket. Your daughter is still so young and there is no damage that will occur if she keeps it. It sounds like she has a lovely imaginiation, which is wonderful. I have 3 children, 9, 6 & 4. Two of them had/have things they are very attached to. My daughter talks to her stuffed animals as if they are real and gets very upset if one of her brothers moves or touches them! She considers their feelings always! This is completely normal. Your daughter will eventually grow out of her blanket, but please let her do it in "her" time. I don't think she'll enter middle school still hanging on to the Kitty blanket! But if she does, that is okay too! I think we parents need to relax a bit and worry about the really important things. I'm including myself in that!

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Hi T.,
I know that there are a few good picture books out there about kids giving up their blankets. One I can think of is Owen by Kevin Henkes. Perhaps you could google it or talk to your librarian. That will open the dialogue and you could just go from there. I taught elementary school for ten years, and as late as 2nd grade children "secretly" brought there blankets in their backpacks. I tell you this because even if her timing for getting rid of it doesn't quite follow an ideal timing, it will just turn out to be a funny memory you can share with her, about how attached she was to her blankie. She probably won't have it with her at her high school graduation, and if she does, how cool would THAT be?
Good luck,
R.

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We have a daughter who loves her dwee-dwee (blankey) too and, very similar to your daughter, she is very well behaved and an all-around good kid. My question is why get rid of the Kitty? Maybe it is just time for a new rule? Now that she is old enough to understand, Kitty doesn't leave her room...just make sure that you enforce the rule! Does she see Mommy and Daddy walking around with their sheets, blankets, etc... Or, maybe, you could sew it into a pillow/stuffed animal or give it a home, say, in a cute, little jewelry box? I don't think that it is unusual or unhealthy for a 4 year old to still love her blanket. Most children that age will have a favorite stuffed animal/toy anyway. Eventually, I am sure that she will outgrow her exaggerated affection for her blanket. Especially in school where she will probably want to be more of a "grown up", etc... Let her enjoy her Kitty while she can. After all, childhood is so short. Good luck in whatever you decide!

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My sister had a similar issue with her oldest daughter and a much beloved blanket. Her solution was to cut pieces of it up into small hankerchief squares and let her daughter take a square to school in her backpack. Eventually the squares wore out or were "lost" and that was it. Good luck!

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Hi, T.,

Why do you 'desperately want to get rid of' the Kitty blanket?
Is it due to space concerns, concern that your daughter is not maturing at the rate you think appropriate, or something else?

My husband, two sons (babies) and I sleep in one bedroom, the only bedroom available in our two-bedroom apartment as one bedroom is my husband's music studio. Therefore, I realize that we (residents of affluent nations) cannot keep everything we have ever acquired. However, I would like to let my kids keep at least one or two of their cherished possessions.

If you ABSOLUTELY cannot keep the Kitty blanket, how about taking a photo of it, so that your daughter can remember how it looks? Also, instead of throwing it away, if it's still in decent condition, how about cleaning it, giving it to a charity which will give it to a poor person or animal and telling your daughter that you are permanently loaning it to a person or animal that has nothing and would be very grateful to receive it. Even though she is young, to some degree now she might understand the value of her donating the blanket to someone else, and eventually she will fully understand what a great thing you and she have done.

L. E

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My only thought is to do it gently and gradually. Be compassionate about it for sure. My Father made my sister give up her stuffed dog cold turkey and she still rememebers it with horror. She really needed the emotional support it gave her when she was upset. She really had a tough time - but my father was too bull headed to go back once he said she had to stop sleeping with it. I think it made her more attached - because I kid you not she still has it on a shelf in her bedroom.. She is married with two kids of her own. Maybe start with it doesn't leave the house - move on to it stays in your room - but you can go there and hold it whenever you want - etc. Don't be to drastic about it.

Just my thoughts. Good Luck
G.

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It should be fairly easy to tell her that the school rules mean she'll have to leave her Kitty at home during school. (The same goes for toys, books, games, whatever.) After being without Kitty all day, she'll probably want her blanket even more at home, but eventually, she'll grow out of it.

You might consider making something - a pillow, a jacket, a stuffed animal - with the blanket. Even when she's far too old for a blankie, she'll cherish it.

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Well first of all I think a blanket is a great thing and something you don't have to get rid of. I do believe you need to set boundries with it, tell her it is a night night blanket only or the blanket fairy will come to pick it up and she will never see it again. If the fairy see's it anywhere but her bedroom she will come and take it and give it to a little girl that listens. Or make us something that suits your situation but be firm, give her a few days notice, in 3 days your blanket will only be able to be a night night blanket. Pretend you got a call or in front of her with husband in on it have the fairy call you and tell you the new rules, then giving her a 3 day notice. This worked great with the paci too for mine. Hope it helps. But again a blanket is a comfort thing, a good thing but set your boundries! Good luck.
Mommy of Levi & Dylan

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It seems that "Kitty cat" is your daughter's security blanket and there is nothing wrong with her having physical security to hold onto when she feels the need to be safe. Some kids have imaginary friends, a doll, stuffed animal, etc. as their source of physical security. I think your daughter's imagination is adorable and healthy. She loves that blanket and fiercely protects it as she see you protect her when in harms way. Don't force her to give up kitty, soon enough she will grow out of it, then you will have fond memories. My nephew had his "blankie" which eventually became torn and tattered. He gave up his blanket when he went to school. Outside activities and interests put the blanket to sleep. My sister had the pieces sown together and made into a pillow. The blanket rests in his closet waiting to be passed on to his children someday. I hope this is helpful.
God Bless,
L. Reynoso ;-)

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Hi T.
I truely don't believe it is something you should worry about. My son(6) and my daughter(3) both have bears that they have had since birth. I slept with them when I was pregnant and gave them to them when they were born. My son has decided all on his own that Flip stays at home in bed while he is off being a kid. My daughter takes hers every now and then but most of the time Aurora stays at home or in the car. We made a rule about taking them out of the house or car, to ensure they would not be lost. I told them how sad I would be if they lost them. Knowing that I cared helped them realize how important it was not to loose them. I still have my first lovie, a bear and I have my husband's too. My children have seen them and think it's great we still have them. Realize this, other than you, this sometimes is the first bond they make in love and friendship. Just as in life, friendships come and go and some last forever. Her Kitty is the same. She will decide when she is ready, in the mean time, just let her know you understand and care. I slept with my bear growing up forever, can't even really remember when I stopped, but I'd like to think I am very strong and independent and I'd like to think a good friend too. So relax and don't worry. There will be so many other things to worry about as life goes on.
Good luck and happy parenting!
G. S

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Hi T.,
I don't think it is a big deal to have a security blanket. My son who is 4 was the same way then all of the sudden he "forgot" about his blankie. He still had it around especially at night but didn't cry about it. I did have a rule that it was not allowed to leave the house and told him that if we took it out it could get lost. We almost lost it once and that rule worked well. I think I was more sad that he no longer cared as much about his blankie because it meant he was growing up. Just remember this won't last forever you don't see adults walking around with a blankie and you will have fond memories about "kitty" later. You may even want to save it in a special box for when she has kids.

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All three of my sisters kids had special blankets. As they got older the blankets were only allowed for sleeping, cuddling, and security when they got sick. Now they are all grown up and my sister made them each a framed keepsake with their blanket (this might sound a little silly).

I think it would be really tough on your little one to take it away during a time of transition (i.e. starting kindergarten, meeting new people, new routines, etc.). Try to think of a creative way to set guidelines on blanket use. Let her know that blankets stay at home while she goes to school.

Hope you find a solution that works for all.

B.

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I promise to not be too negative...lol

I went through the same exact thing, with the extreme of the blanket getting so worn out that it had a huge hole in it...I was able to sew it up because it was a cotton blend, but it still looked horrible...My daughter is now 16 and not only had this blanket issue, but also was a thumb sucker...I am happy to report that she is a normal teenager...My point simply is this, if she is willing to leave the blanket at home and just wants it for comfort and for sleep, why do you feel it has to be taken away from her. Personally, I say to let her have it for as long as she feels necessary. She will grow out of it and you will be able to keep the peace and allow her to feel that comfort that she has.

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T.,

Maybe I'm in the minority but if it were me, I'd stick with the rule that kitty blanket doesn't leave the house and just wait for her to outgrow it. If you are afraid other kids will make fun of her, I'd have her put it in a drawer for safe keeping when she gets up in the morning and she can't pull it out until bedtime. Many kids have a "lovie" of some sort and I don't see anything wrong with it at all. Especially for her starting school in a few months and all of that, I'd let her have whatever comfort she can get from that blanket. I mean really, in the grand scheme of things, is it that big of a deal?

When she is ready to give up kitty, put it in a box and save it for her. When you give it back to her when she's an adult, it will be a really cool thing.

T.

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My cousin took her daughters pacifiers and mailed them to Elmo. Her daughter totaly went for it. She told her daughter that Elmo would find a new little girl that needed her pacifier now cuz she was too big for it. My cousin went as far as too have a thank you mailed to her house from Elmo. It was the cutest thing.
Maybe you could try doing something similar to that. It doesn't have to be Elmo but maybe her favorite character.
Good Luck
Take care
B.

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Well, if you don't let it leave the house, is it a problem? Believe it or not, but my now TEN year old son invited a new friend to sleep over last year, and at bedtime he actually pulled out the remnants of his old blankie! Could've knocked me over with a feather---a very strong, jock type boy! If she's just using it for a security object at bedtime, I don't see it as a problem. 4 is still pretty young--sometimes we lose sight of that!

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Hi T.,

Your daughter sounds delightful and I am sure that she will give up her blanket on her own when she is ready. Going into kindergarten is a big change for little ones. They don't know what to expect, so personally, I don't think taking it away from her at this time is a good idea. It gives her some security and there is nothing wrong with that. Make a deal with her that "Kitty" stays in bed where it is safe and ready for snuggling.

Have you ever read "Owen" by Kevin Henkes? Its a great story about this very same thing.

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Well this is more of a creative way but why not cut up the kitty blanket and possibly another one she loves and make a BIG blanket for her big girl bed I am sure she has by now. And its a fun project she could participate in and then you make a quilt for her. Then she can always LOVE her blanket but in a more appropriate way.

(Also you will need some fabric to put in with the blanket(s) just so you know. check out this site for more info if you choose to do this, http://quilting.about.com/od/stepbystepquilting/a/make_a_... or http://quilting.about.com/ or http://www.quilting101.com/making/ )

Good luck.

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Maybe you could cut a small heart shape out from it and sew it together to make a small token she can tuck in her pocket when she goes to school. It may be something that really comforts her and makes her feel secure. Maybe if she helps create this new, small token it will help her get rid of it, and help with the transition to school...

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My daughter has a blanket too. I have never let her take if from place to place though. From day one it was limited to bed time only.
My suggestion is don't try to totally take it away. Maybe just tell her Kitty is for bed time and that is it. Then if your objective is to totally get rid of it maybe after she is fine with only having it for bed you can try and take it from her then.
Trust me I am not looking forward to one day taking my daughters blanket either. Good luck!

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I know how it is...believe me!!!
It will be difficult, but just allow Kitty at bedtime--and have her keep it in her bed at all times. We had to do the same thing. It took a while, but my son leaves his in his bed now.

Good luck.
Oh- and just because she is 4 does not mean you should get rid of it all together. Let her keep it in her bed forever if she wants to... anything that makes bedtime easier, in my opinion, is a good thing! : )

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T., you are so not alone and from the over whelming responses you have recieved it looks like all of us have gone through this one time or another.

I am currently in the same boat with my five year old. She calls her security blanket "pillow blank" even though it's not a pillow. It was at one time a pillow, but we took the little softies from her pillow and sewed them on a small blanket. "Pillow blank" seemed to stick and it will always be "pillow blank" to her. I have been wanting to take her pillow away as well because she is starting kindergarten in August. I thought she was too old to still have this thing, but I figured it's not hurting anyone or anything so why not let her keep it until she feels ready to part with it. I don't know abou you, but I want my little girl to be a little girl for a little while longer. Kids are growing up way too fast these days. ;o)

T.

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I personally wouldn't worry about it, is it causing problems? My daughter also has a blankie, which goes everywhere and I'm convinced that she's not going to be 12 years old and still carrying it around. These days all these 'books' and people get so crazy about getting rid of a pacifier by 1 year, bottle by 1 year, no sucking thumb, potty trained by ....you get my drift. Again, I'm convinced they will grow out of all of it and they are only this age once. Enjoy it and maybe say that it just doesn't leave her bed or something. Just a thought, good luck.

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My daughter did the same thing!!! the difference is that the blanket (after so many washings over the 4 years) started to wear thin and fall apart. so.. it was easy to cut a pice of the blanket off so that she can carry it with her in her pocket. after a while she got used to leaving it at home and then would forget to find the rest of the blanket and eventually she 'outgrew' it. however.. now that she is going on 20.. and in her 2nd yr of college she found her old blankee in a box i had in storage and wouldnt you know it??? she keeps it under pillow now! funny. anyway.. maybe you can find some way to cut a small piece of it so she can feel close to kitty whereever she is and start the separation process. although im not sure what to think about my duaghter keeping hers under her pillow ha ha. then again.. my boyfreind has this old old old.. ollllldddd frayed pillow case that he JUST has to have when he lays in bed and uses the frayed part to run over his arm... hmmm

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I'd let her take it to school because when she sees the other kids don't have it, she might be more willing to leave it at home. Or, talk to her teacher about it and see what she says (she might talk with your daughter at school about it). I remember having a blanket when I was a kid but really, they do give it up after a while. If it gives her security (in such an insecure world) I think it's the least of any problems you might run into as she grows up. My kids had blankets but I think by five they were not as attached to them.

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T.,

My 25 year old daughter still has pieces of her blanket from when she was a baby. She slept with it until she was 17. I have asked her why she still has the pieces of it and she says she just can't throw it away. I never pressed her about getting rid of the blanket. It just seemed to be a comfort to her all these years. Good luck.

M.

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I vote keep the blanket. I think it's pretty cruel to "lose" it on a vacation, cut it up to pieces, etc... There is no harm in letting her keep it. Just create some sensible rules/boundaries around it. This will not harm her (keeping it till SHE is ready to give it up) or you. Author Barbara Coloroso (http://kidsareworthit.com/) would argue that it's IMPORTANT to give children as many choices in their young lives as possible (as long as it doesn't harm or hurt themselves or anyone else). Why? Because you are training them to be able to think for themselves (she calls it "giving the gift of inner discipline"). The last thing a parent wants is a child who does everything the parent asks. When that child becomes a teen, he has been trained to rely on/listen to others for guidance. And guess who will be guiding your child then - not you. His peers. He was trained perfectly to listen to others and depending who his peers are, that can be scary.

Just leave the blankie alone. It's really OK. My husband remembers how his grandmother "lost" his string of a beloved blanket and to this day (he jokes about it) he is upset. I'm sure it wasn't funny to him at the time, that someone he loved and trusted so much would betray him.

Off topic - isn't 4 waaaay too young for Kindergarten? is it a Pre-K? Even if she is "gifted" children need time to play, dream, explore, pretend, create, etc... pushing academics earlier than necessary has not been shown to improve academic performance down the road.
http://www.ooeygooey.com/mary/resources/articles/how_do_y...

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T.,
I know that some of the negative coments people write are a bit overboard, but sometimes it opens are eyes to see things we didn't see before. I don't think I've wrote anything negative and hurtful, but more of a be tough and deal with it kind of message. Anyway I just wanted you to keep your eyes open so that you can learn from everyone.

As for the Kitty issues, have you tried saying: Ok Daddy & I think that you are to old to carry this blanket everywhere you go, so from now on kitty blanket must stay in the bed, it's not allowed in the family room to watch tv, or at the breakfast table, or anywhere else. You may sleep with it only in your own bed, if you want to hug it and cuddle with it then you need to be on your bed. This way she still has it to comfort her when she is sad or mad. My friend did this with the binky at age one. The binky now stays in the bed if you want it you have to get in bed. It worked, sometimes the kids would want it bad enough to get in bed, after 5 min of binky they where ready to get out and go play.
I think your daughter is useing it to comfort herself, so if she knows that it's still their and that she can love it at anytime just as long as it's in the bed, she might be okay with it. Then a week later go in to her room when she is sleeping and move the blanket away from her, not out of the bed just out of arms reach, This way if she needs it it's still there. Every couple nights move the blanket further away from her, like it dropped on the floor. Make comments that WOW you slept without your blanket you must have gotten to hot and pushed it out of bed. Little by little she will be okay without it, and one day it just won't matter. Most kids grow out of sleeping with things by age 7 or 8. But she does need to leave it in the bed from now on. That way she'll always know where to find it.
Good Luck! Remember to keep your eyes open to everything, because even though it might come across mean it might give you an idea to make it work your way. J.

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Hello there - there is nothing wrong with her having a "kitty" blanket. My 9 year old had hers from 6 mos. until she was 9 years old. Let your daughter put it away when SHE is good and ready. For some reason even they are independant and secure they find some comfort in these things. My daughter didn't like hers washed! It was seriosuly hanging by the last threads! And she was always sniffing the darn thing but guess what it did have her "baby" scent on it, ironically enough! We finally washed it, folded it and put it in a box in her closet...when she felt she was too old for it. Howver, she did find another one to take its place :) she sleeps with this one but it never leaves home like the other "Mimi, member of the family" did =)

One other thing - people were very understanding of the darn MIMI! We lost it so many times and it always turned up in lost and found, with comments like "we figured this meant something to someone so it was turned in" or "we knew this was something very special" Leaving me to understand that there are VERY MANY MIMI'S Or KITTY's out there ;)

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I also vote to keep the blanket. The start of kindergarten can be exciting and stressful. No need to add to the stress by taking away the beloved blanket.

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I'm on the same boat, my 4 1/2 yr old daughter has a raggedy bear with a loose neck that cannot stay up on its own anymore. She sleeps with it everynight and when she's tired she'll want to cuddle with it. It's a security thing. And my husband and I don't think too much about it because we feel she'll outgrow when she's ready. I hope this helps.

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I'd recommend not getting rid of Kitty. (My daughter still has Fluffy and she's 9). Just confine it to her room instead of just the house. If it is in her room/bed, it will be there for bedtime and it won't be disturbed by anyone. When she starts asking for friends to sleep over, then she might re-evaluate. Until then don't mess with Kitty.

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Hi T., I'm wondering why you want to get rid of the blanket? If it gives her comfort what can it hurt? My kids are 10 and 7 and they both still have their special stuffed animals. They both still sleep with them and take them on vacations. They don't go to school or anywhere else, just home. At 4 (and even a little at 10) they see these objects as almost being alive. They care for them as if they were and they would mourn them as if they were. I don't plan on ever taking them away from my kids. They'll grow out of it in their own time. Why rush them to grow up?

L.

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Hi T.,
My daughter had a pink blanket that she carried around with her until she started kindergarten, she was 4 1/2. I wasn't sure about how the school kids or the teacher would react to her blanket, but I could not take the most "comforting" thing away from her. I let her take it to school and I made it very clear to her that it had to stay in her back pack. This went on until Winter break, some days she would kiss it and leave it in the car and other days she would want to take it. I would remind her every once in awhile that other kids could take it, "hurt" it or she may lose it. Eventually she started to leave it at home, her teachers helped by telling her, "After winter break, no more blankie at school." She listened and that was the end of MIMI. I hope this helps.

P.S. I had a "Monster Blankie" when I was a child, it went everywhere with me until one day a kid tore it right down the middle. I put it away in box and that it where it resides today. Don't take "Kitty" away, let her rid of it on her own, some kids need that comfort.

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Tammy.
My son is almost 7 and he still has his blanket. Well, the second one cause the first one got so worn we had to make him a new one! What we did was do small trips to places where the blanket was not allowed. He was able to bring it in the car with him, but when we went into the restaurant he had to leave it behind. Try that. let her bring it and then leave it in the car for safe keeping. Maybe make a special kitty box for her to leave it in. It can be fun decorating it together.
My son only sleeps with his blanket now. That's fine with me!
Good luck!
C..

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Dear T.,

I am the mother of a well adjusted 16.5 daughter who used her pacifier till she went to kindergarten, yes she did.
I tried everything bribing, being stern, long talks about how other kids her age didnt still use a pacifier or as she called it her wooo. I also didnt want to be cruel or leave her damaged. Long story short, I only allowed her to have for nap time or bed she could no longer take it any where other than her room.

after two weeks in school, not sure if she took a survey of the other kids, like hey do you know any one who sleeps with a pacifier or what but she one day just stopped. we used to kid she would eventually stop hoping by school then we kidded perhaps college! all in all the best thing i did was allow her her timing with some peramiters. I had to ask myself how much the need for her to stop was my need to be seen as a good mother. this question made me realize i was doing this out of my need to be seen as a good mom not really a good reason to do anything is it?

T. do what is in sync in your heart not what you feel is right to be seen as a good mother. if others are pressuring you realize that is thier stuff not yours. set peramiters for your daughter and her blanket that work for the both of you.
listen to your heart.

by the way Serenity my daughter is a well adjusted teen, we have a great relationship in fact we are more like friends in many ways, she has skipped the drinking, drugs and rebellious scene, has big goals and loves life. I also have a 22, daughter who is in college, a 26 son who is a happy camper and 27 married daughter all well adjusted kids. Main point parent from your heart not old tapes or from a place of needing to look like a good mother as i said before that is your stuff.

if you would like to ask me questions email and we can chat.

Enthusiastically,

B.

1 mom found this helpful

My oldest son had the same problem. We took the blanket away from him and never gave it back. Now looking back I wish we would have stood firm on the rule of using only when going to bed at night time. My son is 15 now and he moved from the blanket to stuffed animals. He had about 8 of them that had to sleep with him every night and still do. I think if you allow them to naturally let it go they will be more secure with themselves. Just be firm about only using it when she sleeps at night. You can also find a special place to put it like maybe get a box you can decorate and put it into the closet where she can still get to it, but when not sleeping it get put into the box.
Good luck

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Hi T.,

I had the same problem with my son and his pooh blanket. My mother in law gave me some good advice - that worked! = ) Every day I would cut a strip of the blanket until it was more of a cloth and then I would hide it for a day or two at a time. He finally stopped looking for it and forgot he even had a blanket. So, that's what worked for me!

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Hi T.,

There's nothing wrong with a child having a security object. When you're daughter's ready to give it up, she'll give it up on her own--or under the duress of peer pressure!

Our son had a lamb skin which we got for him when he was 4 mos old. He LOVED lamby! It went everywhere, just like your daughter's kitty cat blanket. When it got dirty, we washed it. By the time David was in preK, he noticed that most other kids weren't bring their "loveys" to school any more. He didn't want to take lamby, but he didn't want to leave it behind, either, so we compromised. We let David decide how much of lamby he wanted to keep with him, and then we cut a piece off of it (with his permission) that was small enough to keep in his backpack, but large enough to snuggle with at nap time (the much larger piece stayed in his bed at home). By kindergarten, lamby was reduced to a little patch that lived in his pocket. By third grade it was gone, but he still slept on the big piece at night and it went with him to sleep away camp and when we travelled. By middle school, it hid in his sleeping bag when he went camping with his scout troop and by high school it stayed at home. When he left for college last fall, lamby was in shreds and I found it in the garbage a few days after he left (I cried! I had to be away on business so I couldn't drive him up to school--400 miles away--with my husband).

When I was in my 20's, I worked with a guy who took his briefcase with him everywhere. It turned out that the only thing he kept in it was his very well-worn and well-loved teddy bear. It was a bit odd, but he was an otherwise very well adjusted and happy person!

So, my suggestion is to just let nature take its course. Decide if it's a battle that you really want to or need to fight. If so, find a way to compromise with your daughter if you really can't stand to see the thing get dragged around (maybe give kitty a "hair cut" or keep kitty in a "pet carrier", i.e. backpack, when you're out.) But keep in mind that 4 is still a baby, in most respects! What's the need to rush growing up?

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Maybe the "kitty" needs to have a visit from the "FiFi Fairy's sister". If you haven't heard of the FiFi Fairy, she is the fairy that comes in the night to take pacifiers from older children and she takes them to a new baby who needs them. She leaves a big kid present behind. This is how we got rid of our son's pacifier. He wasn't sure he was ready to not have his pacifiers, but he loved the idea of the new baby needing them. He did think he'd get them back when the new baby was done. Thankfully he hasn't brought that up in awhile. The pacifiers have been gone almost a year now. He'll be five in July. Take small steps with it. We talked about the fairy, then we set the pacifiers on his night stand for a few nights so he could see them. Then we eventually moved to putting them in a basket near the window so the FiFi Fairy could find them. If the gentle process doesn't work, you may have to do what my parents did with my brother which was to "lose" the blanket. This will work out fine until your child reaches their early twenties and finds the lost blanket in the back of your closet.... The other thing to remember, is that no one has gone on their honeymoon with a pacifier or "kitty". It is okay to let your daughter set her own timetable if you are really worried about the aftermath. Good luck.

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Hi T.,
I have an 11 year old daughter who still has her "blankie" (It was originally a kitchen towel!). It is tattered and in pieces, but she does sleep with it at night. It's importance has faded over time, she doesn't take it to sleepovers, and can sleep if for some reason we can't find it. Many of her friends also still have some lovey too.

The point here is, that it's probably OK for your daughter to have her "kitty". Just set some limits...whatever you think she can deal with at 4. Stays in the house, can only sleep with it, etc. She will eventually become less dependent on it as she grows and the world becomes less scary.

Good luck,
M.

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You sound like you have done a wonderful job with your daughter. Happy, independent and found a way to self soothe with kitty. I would suggest having a discussion with her that enforces kitty stays in the house and never goes to school with her, possibly that kitty is only for bedtime at home. I know it seems frustrating right now, but this is something you'll look back on later on and reminisce about. Enjoy her childhood with her, she is afterall your baby.

Best of luck to you.
D.

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We had the same issue with my now-23 year old son. With him it was a "silkie". A blanket with a silky border that he LOVED. My advice is, do not make this into a problem or a big deal. Set the boundaries - where she can take it, etc.... Our rules were that he could have it in the house or on long car trips. We never just took it away from him. It wasn't as if he was using a pacifier that was damaging his teeth. The silkie was doing no harm, so we let him grow out of it at his own pace. You describe your daughter as a wonderful kid. You gave it to her so she would have something to cuddle. A soother. Mission accomplished! It works well. Good job. By the time my son was 6, he used it only in bed. By the age of 7 it was just a fond memory. And it eventually just faded away. No trauma, no emotional damage, no tears. :0) As for the crying if Kitty gets hurt, it is her prized possession! And she is a four year old little girl. She will grow out of that, too. Hang in there! Take your focus off the Kitty, minimize the issue, set the limits, and enjoy that little girl! As you know, she will be 13 in no time flat.

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I have 5 daughters. The youngest one (now 18 and ready to go off to UCSB in the fall) was really attached to these satiny pillow cases. She kept them in her bed and rubbed her skin on them to fall asleep. She still has these shreaded pieces of fabric in her sentimental box. As long as your daughter is willing to leave Kitty at home during school, I wouldn't put pressure on her to end this connection that she seems to feel good about at this time. She may even need to bring Kitty in the car on the way to school and kiss it good-bye. Believe that she will eventually outgrow this, but like our daughter, it may not be until she is an older teenager. Our youngest daughter is normal and loving and allowing her to keep her pillow cases did not harm her or stunt her development in any way. Good luck with this.

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My sister in law (who is now 14) was really attached to her blanket. Went EVERYWHERE. My mother-in-law let it be. Eventually, she may decide she is to old for it. My mother-in-law stillhas it in a box. She still travels with a bear. It's ok to have the blanket if your daughter feels she needs it, but I would/will feel the same. My 19 month old favors her "softie" blanket and will not go to sleep without it. As long as it is clean I am ok with it. As for it going with you places, maybe it can stay in the car while you are away because Kitty is not allowed in stores, restaurants etc...
Also, it sounds as if your daughter is getting to be schoolaged. That always has a way of getting things that they are clinging to to go away. Whatever you decide to do, don't back down and good luck
K. E.

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Congrats on your loving family! Kitty the blanket is obviously a good friend and a way for your daughter to have her own little bit of control in the world: she protects the blanket from people who 'hurt kitty' etc. Your girl is starting a new life as a kindergartener, right? so she is in transition. THis is a time in any person's life where they want to have some security while the make the change. This doesn't mean you have to let her cling to Kitty, moving on can be part of the growing up transition. YOu can let her know this in many ways. You could just tell her"You are a kindergartener now"... etc and make a big break. Or you can talk about how now Kitty is changing in 'kitty's' life. Like taling about Kitty is now going to help your other toys and dolls feel good about you moving on to Kinder. Or you could make a special place for Kitty to live in her room, like have her collect stuff that is from when she was a baby : an old newborn onsie, a favorite pacifier, etc. Things that she knows she doesn't use any more becuase she is a big girl. then get one of those thick picture frames and have them framed all together either by yourself or go to Michael's or somplace and have them framed. The more she helps with this, the more in control she is and she will feel empowered by her grown-up-ness instead of overwhelmed by it. Re-enforce that she can make these decisions because she is getting older and more responsible and you feel like you can trust her with these choices.

In all choices, respect the 'kitty'. This is a sign of respect for your daughter and something that is important to her. Thank Kitty for being with your girl as she has grown, that kind of thing. Just like clothes that don't fit anymore or habits that were okay for babies and not for big girls, it is okay to move on from something you love.

I have also heard of people who cut a small piece of the blankie for use in a pocket, etc, but this seems like it is not making the transition enough for what you are looking for.

I hope this helps. Most important, try ot to stress about it, judge yourself as a parent because she has a kitty and you want it gone, or to judge her for having a 'kitty' this means she is also loving and loyal and has a healthy strong imagination and capacity for love. Tell her about that too, and how her being so loving is a beautiful thing.

Many Blessings

E. Yager

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I like your rule about the blankie not leaving the house. =-) As long as she can leave the house and live her daily life without it, I don't see the harm of her having it in bed.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

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I am curious to see what the others have said..

Have you asked her doctor?

Hi T.,

Your daughter's blanket gives her comfort in stressful situations and starting school is stressful. I wouldn't try to take it away from her right now but do explain that it will wait for her at home while she is in school. It is really normal for her to have this and taking it away might just cause her to "need" it all the more. I'm glad you're thinking of her emotional well-being rather than "how it looks" to others. Eventually, it will lose its importance and playmates, etc, become more important.

V.

I think she should be able to keep it. I have 2 girls, one 20 years old and one 11 years old and what I have learned is that the young years you won't get back. Your daughter has something that she truely cherishes and to take it away would be sad.
I hope you can get through this ok. Being a Mother is tough as well as joyous because of all of the lifechanging decisions we have to make. :)

It sounds like a lot of mamas are in favor of letting your daughter keep her kitty cat blanket. I don't have an opinion, but I would try to restrict it to home. At worst, I would allow it in the car.

If she's firm on bringing the blanket with her places, you might try rewarding her with stickers each day she is successful with leaving her blanket at home. Once she gets a predetermined number of stickers she can get a treat like a trip to get ice cream or a toy or something else special.

Another option you may try if you want to try to get rid of the blanket altogether is to suggest that the "blanket fairy" will come to visit. Your daughter would need to make the decision to leave the blanket outside the front door before she goes to bed at night. The "fairy" will then exchange the blanket for a wonderful toy that your daughter can find the next morning.

Coming from a loving place here, you're making a huge mistake pushing her to get rid of her blanky. You should be grateful that she has an item that helps her self soothe. Typically, the reason these items work is because they are the physical manifestations of a happy and safe place, that the child can actually touch. It's these sorts of items that allow a child to become independent because they have a safe and loving "place" in their mind to go to.

I agree, you should not allow it to leave the house, becuase the drama that will ensue if the blanket goes missing will be unreal. Loss of these items to kids is akin to loss of a person for us, and they go through all the classic grief stages. You might want to allow her to take it in the car on the way to school, it will help the transition a bunch.

If I were you'd I'd put some time into why it bothers you so much. This is an item that your child loves, and trust me, the day will be coming soon when you wish she was carrying her tattered blanket around!

T., I would let her keep her kitty. Just don't let her take it to school. My oldest daughter had a "Dino". She got him when she was 13 days old. He had a ball in his stomach that rolled and sounded like he was growling. She took him everywhere, except school. She would not and could not fall asleep without him. She had Dino until she was 21 when our lab puppy ate him. She was devastated. Still does not like our lab puppy. I sewed his head back on and gave Dino some stiches and gave him back to her when she moved into her own apartment. I think it's good to let them have something that makes them feel secure.

Now, my husband had a blanket he could not live without. His grandma loves to talk about how they cut it in half so he could sleep with one half while they washed the other. I don't think he ever noticed that it was cut in half.

My youngest daughter has a poo blanket. when she went away to college, she took it with her and she brings it home with her when she comes home to visit.

So, as you can tell, I am a fan of letting them have their blanket. I would not take it away. Just don't let her take it with her to school.

Godd luck in whatever you decide.

Our daughter just now is letting go of her attachment to her blankie. She decided to stop sucking her thumb too on her own. She is 6 1/2. When she started pre-school she took a surrogate blankie with her for her nap. Otherwise it remained in her bag and she knew it was there and could go see it if she needed to.

I wonder what school allows? It could be she'd only need it for the first week or two. Or that she'd allow you to bring the surrogate and remove it when you left?

So cute about the kitty blanket with no kitties.

G.

Some people have solved this kproblem by cutting a little bit of it off each week and eventually it becomes smaller and then is gone altogether! I have not done this but I have heard it works-perhaps each week as it us washed allow it to shrink with an explanation as you get bigger kitty is getting smaller??

You have kitty. We had blee-blee. We tried a rule that worked pretty well that she would tuck blee-blee into bed in the morning and she had to stay there so she "wouldn't get hurt or lost."

We also enlisted the help of her preschool teacher who made a rule that once the summer before kinder began, blee-blee couldn't come to school but she could bring something else to nap with.

Blee-blee's owner is now 9 and a perfectly adjusted 3rd grader. She found blee blee in a box this weekend and brought her out to show me and we shared a sigh and a laugh. You'll be there too!

Just lose the blanket. Allow her to take it with her somewhere, and dispose of it without her knowing. She may be upset for awhile, but she will get over it.

Hi T.,

A friend of mine has a son who had the same scenario, and what she did is just cut a piece of the blanket, so he could have it around him if he wanted it. Another idea is to actually get a Hello Kitty plush doll as a transitional object to 'graduate' to. Then, maybe graduate to a necklass charm, etc. and it will be like Hello Kitty never left! Heck, my girl's entire room is the HK theme! My 4 yr. old son has a funny ritual which entails having like 8 of his toys go to bed with him and he burries them all around his body! Kids are so cute with their comforts, and I think patience with that is a virtue. Take pictures!!!! Check out my website at www.SanDiegoBargainMama.com. Thanks! ~S.