HELP!! MY 3 1/2 Year Old Son Will Not Even Try to Give up His Blankie?!

Well, if the blankie is anything like the thumb the more energy you give it the more Ryan will think he needs it. My recommendation is to not focus on the blankie so much as finding ways to reward him when the blankie isn't in the picture. Make life wonderful for him when he puts the blankie down. "We will go to the park if you don't hold the blankie while dressing". "Well, we CAN go to little Ken's house if you leave the blankie home, little Ken doesn't carry a blankie". Then solicit the help of other children to encourage him to put the blankie down, such as "little Karen, I notice you don't carry a blankie, why is that?" "What do you think will happen if Ryan stops carrying his blankie?". Let him know he will be safe without the blankie just like other kids. Also, don't play scary games with him, like hiding behind corners and jumping out with a "boo". Stop by a daycare and ask how they handle such situations, or consider enrolling Ryan in a daycare program part-time where he can recieve social queues from others as well. If you are really worried and the situation is causing stress between you and hubby, don't be afraid to contact a child pyschologist to work through why this is causing such stress. Well, hope I've helped. Happy trails.

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My child's psychologist says it doesn't matter if a child is 5 and still has a blanket or stuffed animal they like. That is their security and if you take it away too soon it could create other issues. I don't see anything wrong with it. There is many other things bigger than an issue of having a blanket.

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why is your hubby so adoment about your son giving up his blankie? does he think it's not boyish enough, is it that he sucks on it and you can't understand his speech, does he leave it places and you have to waste time to go back and retrieve it. i'd try to get to the root of that question before i did anything about the blankie. 3 1/2 is still pretty young and most kids need taht security. if your son admits he's not ready to give it up then don't try to force him or you will traumatize him and that will make it even harder. maybe you can work out a comprimise. he can have his blankie at nap time and bed time, but the rest of the day it has to stay in the bed. it go on trips, but when you get to your destination, it has to stay in the car. eventually you can start reducing those ocasions until it's only at bed time and then hopefully he'll completely give it up.

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Hi J.,
First of all quit worrying about it and it will resolve itself, but your husband can't push the issue either. I have a friend that her son did that with a blankie. It got so ragged and thin from washing, she started trimming it down. By the time he was a big boy it was about half the original size. He still wanted it in his room although he wouldn't let the other kids see him with it. My daughter did the same thing with an old teddy bear I let her buy at a yard sale. Out of all the new ones she had at home, this yard sale one become her security. The old thing has been washed and sewn so many times I couldn't begin to tell you. To this day, when she is upset about something, or hurt, she will go to bed with that old bear. She is 20 yrs old now and laughs about it, but yet it is still very important to her at times. Both of these kids are only children, and you just have the one, I think that has a lot to do with it. They need something to call their own that they get secure with (a best friend). It hasn't damaged mine or my friend's kid, and I'm sure yours will be fine. My friends son is a rugged outdoors type man now. You might want to explain some new rules to your son though like mentioned already, that the blankie has to stay at home, then gradually confine it to his room. My friend did that also and it worked. But let him have this one thing for his security until he is ready to give it up, if ever,,LOL Don't make a big deal out of it, it will just confuse him and make it worse.

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Let's see, my blankie son is now, 34, and is a wonderful father and husband. He received great solace from his blankie for many years, even taking it to college.
We got to a point where it stayed home, safe and sound, so nothing would happen to it, and it would last. If I knew the name of the company who made it, I would write and let them know how well loved and washed it has been, and it is still in one piece! The bottom line is, this is the least of your worries in the years to come. Your husband will be cruel if he takes it away. Start leaving the thing home for bedtime, or just take it with you for those rough times in the car.

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Blankies are different with every child. With my oldest, all we had to do was tell him that it was time to put the blankets up in a safe place so he could give them to his little boy when he grew up. (He had 2 hand crocheted blankets that were unraveling and ended up having more holes that swiss cheese.) He was about 4 when we did that. Our youngest (5) still has his blankie neatly folded at the foot of his bed. He is happy as long as it is there and he can see it. My neice however, had a blankie until it litterally disengrated from her love when she was about 8.My sister in law couldnt' get her go give it up, couldn't get her to take to a new one (that looked just like the old one) so she just let her keep it and washed it when necessary until there was nothing left. Just try to work slowly with him... "Blankie doesnt' like being outside...maybe we should leave it int he car"...."Blankie would look so comfortable on your bed...don't you think?" Try to twist it so it's HIS idea to start giving blankie some time off, and work from there.

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How about trying to "snip it" bit by bit. that way your son still has his security, and you are at peace with weaning it from him, and your husband is pleased with the process as well. I did this for my son with his paci, snipping it every few days.....when he was 2. He kept telling me they were broken and eventually he gave them up himself at they got smaller and smaller. That way I didn't feel guilty about taking his security etc. Good luck with the process, I know its not easy. :)

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I think you have to handle things like this in phases. Tell your son that Blankie needs to stay in the car when you go in a store a few times. Then try telling him blankie needs to stay at the house. Then tell him it has to stay in his room. I don't think it's right to take a lovie away cold turkey and I even have a friend who's husband still sleeps with his. Crazy sounding, I know, but we all have our little comforts in this world.

Helping our kids grow up is our hardest job as a mother. And especially hard with our first child. You may feel like a great big jerk, so just weigh out how much what your husband thinks about this situations means vs how much trouble it all is for you and your son. Your son may surprise you too. He may be ready to venture out without the blankie but is just bringing it as a habit.

That being said, it sounds like your son might be a bit like mine in that he still has some oral issues. This is perfectly normal in today's world of children with sensory issues. Find something smaller for him to chew on when he needs it. Something he can keep in his pocket when you go out. My son took to a pacifier holder. It's a clip with a strap and a little rubber ring. It's not as obvious as a blankie or pacifier but gives him something safe to sooth his oral needs right now. He is four and a half.

Good luck!!!

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I kept my blankie. Always. I would still have it if it hadn't have been for a housefire. Anyway, hubby needs to chill out and not force things on the little guy. You stick up for him as the mom. What's a blankie going to hurt? Nothing, so no big deal.

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Maybe you should try to limit his blankie time to just sleep time. After that, I don't see it being a big deal. He obviously has a strong attachment to his blankie and uses it to soothe himself. I would not try to take it away from him completely. I know this sounds bad but I still have my blanket from when I was little and I know several other people who still sleep with theirs. Obviously I don't drag it around with me everywhere I go but for some reason I just can't get rid of it. Good luck to you.

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Ok, this is a little embarassing but I STILL have my blankie and I am 30 years old. I'm sure he will eventually want to quit taking it everywhere as he gets older and probably just use it at home. It is a security issue and it makes him feel safe. I would let him have it until he wants to give it up if he ever does. I only use mine at home or if we go out of town. I would be lost and nervous without mine and I think he'll be okay. Good luck to you.

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I would not force the issue yet. If you feel you must, maybe you could make the blankie into something a little more appropriate such as a pillow. You could cut off a small piece and pin it under his clothes so it is always with him. You could even make it into smaller balakies. Good luck.

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The blankie does not need to go yet. If the blanket is too obvious or in the way for your liking, just cut a smaller square and let him carry that. The way you sell it is that you are making more for him to have -- one in the car,one in the bed, etc.

I had a son who had a blankie also. My suggestion (what worked for us) is that you make some kind of compromise and begin "weaning" him from his blankie. At three and a half he is old enough to understand the reasoning. Such as - "you can have the blankie when you go to bed or we are reading books, but not when we go in the car" - or something like that. Try and explain to your husband that making him go "cold turkey" may not be a good idea. Some kids are attached to their pacifiers, some to a bottle, some to their thumbs - and some to a blanket. He'll give it up eventually and he will NOT be starting school with his blankie!

I've got mixed feelings on this one. My Mother's heart tells u to just give it time and he'll give it up. Practicality says it's germy, could make him sick and that's there's no gradual way that's effective. Trash it and just tell him it's gone. You could, in secret, wash it and store it for a quilt piece when he's grown.
We went through this w/my daughter and a pink feather boa. It smelled like a wet dog and probably had germs from the entire school year on it! We had to throw it away. We did replace it with a new, better smelling purple one that still hangs in her room but she didn't have the attachment and didn't carry it like her old one. With our middle sons "bankie" I just washed and rewashed and repaired til there was nothing left but a scrap. That scrap is in my quilt piece bag to put in his quilt when he's grown. Lots of luck to you. Whatever you decide, stick to it and be consistant.
S.

I have 3 boys, ages 16, 15, and 13. They all still have their blankies. Even though they have stopped some time ago taking them to sleepovers they still sleep with them at home. They are not their orginals from when they were babies but have graduated to bigger ones. I was also concerned about this but it makes them feel good and protected so I said oh well. I figure they will eventually get rid of them when they move out on their own. So don't worry it does get better and there is alot more to worry about besides blankies.
A.

Oh J., please read "Owen" by Kevin Henkes. I couldn't help smiling at your post. Owen is one of our favorite stories, and if you haven't read it I think you will enjoy it.

I know your pain!! Having 3 children my self, and the youngest is 3 1/2 too! I have found that giving up blankie all at once is just to detrimental to the little one. I have found great success with the 2 older ones in limiting blankie time little by little. We start out the first week that blankie is only allowed at home, not out of the house...the next week, it is only allowed at nap and night time...then none at all. My 3 1/2 year old is only using it at nap and night time right now..it doesn't leave the bed. My other 2 eventually didn't ask or look for it when it fell out of bed in the night and then it just mysteriously "dissapeared".

Hope that helps!

I am a mother of one 24 yr son who was a miracle also. He was born 12 weeks premature. I also have worked at a preschool for the last 9 years. One recommendation I have heard is to start reducing the size of the blanket by cutting it in half so that it gets smaller and smaller...until pocket size. Also, you can look for another toy as a replacement for security. What is his favorite character...Thomas or something else??? P. in Memphis

Try letting him only have tha blankie at bed time and nap time. That is what we did with both of our children. Once he gets the idea that it is time to play and be a big boy, but you still alow him to have his comfort zone (Blankie) when it is time to sleep. Doing it this way tends to help children learn to let go without the torment of having things taken away. In time he will give it up all together.

Its okay my oldest son Justin kept a blankeie with him 24/7 and as he got older he still slept with it till he was almost 10 I still had the last one he had and when he died at age 20 I put it in the casket with him. Dont sweat the small stuff he will grow out of it. Focus on how wonderful he is and cherish every day you have with him. As he grows up other thing will be more important than this blankie .... but what a wonderful memory to know that he loved that special item.
Always cherish what God has given you because it can be taken away in a heartbeat.

Have a Blessed life
D.

My daughter used to be the same way. Her blanket would get filthy! This may sound cruel but it worked. I used to tell her that she needed to leave her blanket at home so that it would be safe. I told her that if she took it with her to daycare, the store, etc., that someone might take it from her or get it dirty. I explained to her that if she left it at home that it would definitely be there when we got home. It took a little coercing at first but now she doesn't have to have it with her 24 hours a day. Sometimes she will even go to sleep without it. Personally, I got tired of tripping over it all the time. Good luck. Hope this helps.

I know this sound cruel , but I would wait til he goes to sleep and throw it in the trash! Or just let him keep it . Then when he gets older it might be better or worse! I don't know. But that is what I would do. Yes he will cry-my son did when i took the bottle lol! Or you could put something really stinky on it and maybe he will not like it anymore like - go to walmart and get some dear scent lol, maybe the smell might deter him. I hope he won't put that in his mouth! or try something else that is non-toxic.

My 6 year old daughter still has a blankie but it is not allowed to leave the house. If she has a sleepover she can take it but out in public is a no-no. At first I started with saying it has to stay in the car. And then told her that the blankie has to stay home. So now she sleeps with it or watches TV with it.

Hi J..
The advice I have is actualy kind of simple.
Ryan is 3 1/2... he knows the difference between "babies" and "big boys".
My advice...
Take him to the hospital nursery nearest you. Tell a nurse that "Ryan needs help to find a baby that REALLY needs a blanket".
**You can talk him through this ahead of time.
Tell him about the "itty-bitty babies" that don't have blankies to stay warm.
The nurses can cover a baby OF *RYAN'S CHOICE* with HIS "blankie" (probably on top of a hospital blanket hidden beneath his blankie)
This may help when he asks for it.
You can remind Ryan of the baby that needed the "blankie" more now that HE is a "big boy"

All 3 of my children, now 10, 8, & 5, sucked their thumbs but ONLY when they had their blankies with them. I was able for the most part to put the blankie in their beds during the day and just give at nap/bed times or on long car trips or if we were going to have a long day out. All of them gave it up around the same age (4-5). We went to the store for the older 2 and picked out something they really wanted and I told them if they could give up their blankies for 2 weeks they could have the item they chose. With my younger one, he was responsible for putting the blanket in the car on a long weekend trip and forgot it, so I told him the same thing, if he gave it up when we got home for another week(which I hid it when we got home and this helped) then we would go to the store and he could choose a toy. Good Luck. If you want to really tough it out. Plan a little getaway where you are prepared to have a rough couple of days and "forget" to bring it with you. You will all be miserable but maybe this little nudge will make him see that he does not "have" to have his blankie all the time. He will survive. (Maybe mom & dad won't, but he will!!:)

Please tell your husband to leave his "orders" at the police station. I am a full-time working mom of three girls -- ages 4, 11 and 16. My oldest daughter also had a blanket she took everywhere. I just didn't stress about it. She gave it up when she was ready. Kids need different things at different developmental stages and they all develop on their own schedule. It isn't like a bottle or pacifier that will cause teeth issues. It is a blanket. If you try to force it from your child it will be traumatic for your child and you. Does your husband have a degree in early childhood development? If not, then who is he to decide when the blanket needs to go. I trust the advice of my children's teachers who have Ph.D's in the field. They were the ones who advised me not to worry, and they were right. My oldest daughter is now a runner and medalist in the Jr. Olympics. I don't think the blanket harmed her one bit!.
Karen

Hi J., my son was a blankie boy too! We let him keep his blankie until he was 9 or 10, but HE decided that he no longer needed it. What we did as he grew up was to help him set some ground rules, which basically said that the blankie was for home or at bedtime. We did not have any problems and my son is now a well-adjusted, emotionally stable, soon-to-be 14 year old boy.

I also have a 17yr old daughter that still loves to sleep with her crib doll at home. Over the years, we have mended, and washed it a dozen times. I think ultimately, it has helped us parent/teen trust issues, and she values the lesson of caring for it. Maybe it will help her to be a great mother one day...

It's the little things in life that make you happy...Let him be..he will let you know when he's ready to let go....
there's so many other important things to worry about or totalk to him about....
P.

Tell husband to get over it..Mr. Macho...he'll outgrow it..I still have my daughter's blankie in a box which I've got to sew some more binding on it and it's gonna get wrapped and given to her when she graduates this year...yeah, she's 18! It's his security and it's not hurting no one except your husband's ego and macho male pride! Tell husband, hey look at Charlie Brown and boy did that blankie make the comic strip author some MONEY! Take it away and you might make him very insecure...does your husband leave a lot with his work, it might just take the place when Dad is away because you are there and at home, so I feel it has something to do with him being gone..my step-son is a cop and his son which is now 16 also had a blankie, why shoot, lots of ppl had blankies, tell husband to get a life and stop making fun of the son..and let him be a kid while he can, quit trying to make him grow up so soon and give up things that make him feel secure..like I said, he'll grow out of it. L.

Hi J., I am a grandma to 11 now and one of my grandsons loved his blankie so what we did was made a pillow out of it and he like it some but gave it up within a week. It might work for you. GOOD LUCK! Wilma

Your husband is the one with the issue, not your son. He is only 3 years old. Let him have the security of a familiar item. It may be a nuisance to you and/or your husband, but your son obviously needs it. Keep it clean by washing it while he sleeps. He will eventually let it go, but it is as important to him as a good friend is to you.

I had to smile when I saw this only because I have a 10 yr old that still has his "nite Nite". It is the Noah's Ark baby comforter that went with his crib set. He still sleeps with it and has to know where it is when he gets in bed. It does not go everywhere with him because he knows other kids would think it silly. He was sick the first three years of his life and that blanket was a constant when he was in the hopsital. I can not say I have any sage advice other then try to start making him leave it behind some of the time. It may be somewhat traumatic at first but it gets better. That is what I had to do before my son started school, we would go someplace and he wanted "nite nite" and I would tell him no we should leave it home so it does not get dirty or lost and eventually he got to where he did not need it except to sleep and now he just has to know its in the bed and he is cool. Hope you can figure out a way to help your son :)

I feel give him special carring love and attention. Both of you. Hold him close to you and talk to him with a carrying voice. Play games with him more this might slowly get his mind off his security of the blanket. This might work.

hun my friends 8 year old son also had this problem his blankie was so bad they had to tie it in knots.. you know this is how i feel teasing will most likely make it worse. if he goes to high school with it seriously think at this point it might be a BIG deal. he will outgrown this blankie thing i am sure. i am by no means a psychologist but they usually grow out of this when they start school. dont be concerned it could be something far worse.

It is actually a good thing that your child has a security blanket. I recommend that you let him keep it. The more you try to get it away the more he will want it. If you drop the subject for now when he is 5-6 years old and ready for school he will have no problem leaving it at home in a safe place like under his pillow til he gets home from school. Speaking of school if his birthday is frm may-oct it is really best to keep him home an extra year even if he does make the cut off date. This is because boy mature at a slower rate and it is a harder transition for them. I know many peopl who have had to keep their kids back later on in school and this can be devastating. Most states do not require children to be schooled untill they are 7 years old.
I hope that all goes well for all of you. It can be hard for dads to see their sons with a "blankie" but it would be a very emotional blow if you continue to press the issue. It is amazing how they will start to distance themselves from the blankie on their own. Enjoy every moment you can.

What's the big deal to your husband? Why does he care if your son has a blankie or not?

My oldest daughter, now 4, still sleeps with and chews on her "buddy", which is actually a flour sack towel. LOL It's the most cruddacious thing I've ever seen in my life, but she doesn't want me to wash it. She LIKES it that way. I was the same way with my pillow (still am, as a matter of fact), except I never chewed it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not raising a beaver. She's always chewing on something. But ANYway, in the long run, having a blankie is waaaay down on the list of troublesome things your child could be doing, knowhutimean? I say let him keep it if it gives him comfort. How would your husband like having his favorite thing ripped away from him because someone else decided it was time to give it up?? Stand up to him.

xo,

AJ

i read an article where a Mom cut a blankie into small squares so they would fit into her son's pocket that way he could always reach in his pocket and "hold" his blankie when he needed a little extra help. I would also-wait for him to ask for it that way eventually he'll forget. Good Luck!

I have an 18 year old who still has her baby blanket and a 16 year old with a stuffed animal. They used to carry theirs everywhere as well. We had them leave their "Security" in their bed and that was when they could have it. You might try this, and of course it made bedtime easier because they were allowed their blanket and stuffed animal.

I understand the whole blankie thing. My son had the same issues. My only advice is that you just let him grow out of it. I know it is probably not what your husband wants to hear. But taking it from him will only cause attachment issues later on. I promise that he will slowly give it up. My 7 year old son finally gave it up. I still have it, torn up as it may be. He would probably have a cow if I got rid of it even now. For him it was the smell of it after a wash. As a baby he would stand by the washer and dryer and just cry and cry until it was done. I would say at around 4 or 5 he started carrying it around less and less. About the time he started preschool and kindergarten. I am sure this probably didn't help, but it will work itself out. Good luck!

Let the light of your life keep his blankie. Get a second one just in case the first one falls apart. Tell your husband to relax. Your son will give it up when he's ready.

My 14 yr old had one too and finally gave it up at around 9 or 10 on her own. I have always had one and still do although not my childhood blankie. My son is 12 and has a few blankies. He has had one special Poohbie cuz it has Poohbear on it since he was 2 yrs old. The other two are regular blankets but one is really comfortable and the other belonged to my late mother so its a reminder of good times for him and I tried taking Poohbie away, it started a fight and got me to thinking how it much it mattered. Its not that big of a deal to me but to his father and his stepdad it is. They say it makes him a sissy or girlie. I say bullhockie. Everybody has their own comfort objects. I'm glad my kids have their blankets instead of alcohol or drugs or ect. I'd rather them have blankets and feel safe than not feel safe without them. I took my sons away for like a year and he just got another one he favored. Its not that big of a deal but still people gripe about it and tell them to just leave him alone. Mostly they outgrow it especially after the darn thing finally falls apart and can't be fixed. Most people I know have their blankets and even pillows or stuffed animals. I have all three. My youngest needs her wubbie too and shes only 7 mos. She holds it with one or both hands while sucking her thumb and going to sleep and I think its totally precious and adorable. I love to see her enjoying the safety and comfort it brings. Heck mine even goes to the hospital with me. And I have since passed down blankets and pillows to my kids during rough times like divorce and a death in the family. You have to pick your battles. Maybe you can do what I do and tell them no blanket until sleep time and only in bed at night or when their sick. Sometimes that works too.

Both of my children are blankie babies. I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old and both still have to have their blankies at night. My 2 year old wags his around all the time. It is a security thing. If you take it away before he is ready to give it up it is going to cause problems. I would not say this about a pacifier or bottle but a blanket or a stuffed animal is nothing to worry about. Plus the more of a big deal you make about it the more he is going to cling to it because he knows that you are trying to get rid of it and he doesn't want it out of his sight because it might be gone.
C.

I don't really understand what the problem is. Why should he have to give up his blankie? I can see it would be a problem if he still feels this way when starting kindergarten, but that's a long way off! My son is 3 1/2 as well and is very attached to a stuffed dog. If it comforts him, that seems fine to me.

If for some reason you're insistent on getting rid of the blankie, I'd suggest the book "Owen" by Kevin Henckes (sp?) It's about a little boy mouse (?) and his blankie. Your son will probably enjoy the book and the outcome is they sew the blankie into little hankies so he can take one with him everywhere he goes but is not carrying along the whole blanket.

But I say let him keep the blanket!!!

I do not recommed taking it away. It is how he soothes himself when faced with stressors. It is very healthy. My son carried his until he was 6 years old. Every once in awhile he requests to sleep with it still. As peer pressure mounts, he will let go. I decided I would rather him use his blanket to soothe himself than find other unhealthy ways.

Here was my plan and it worked!
Cut it up into large squares ( at first) and you will have multiple blankies.
Then they are easier for YOU to handle and not in the way so much. (remember this is a process)
In a few weeks, cut those squares even smaller...and then smaller, you get the picture. Soon he will begin to loose the pieces around and so will you. It wont take long at all. I hope you try this, because is has worked for several of my friends. Nan

J.,
I mean no offense here but why does your husband feel this young child must give up the blankie now? He is still a toddler? 2 of my 3 children still adore their blankies - they are 6 and 9! If it is a source of comfort, then why not? It does not do any harm, I guess the information that is missing is why your husband feels like a toddler must give up his source of comfort? Trust me, they do not carry it forever, or I would still be carrying mine at 43! My 9 yr old only carries it at home and usually not out of his room except in the car on road trips. THey will not go to college with it but really, is it a huge deal if they do? Tell your husband to relax and let the toddler be a toddler...it is not doing any harm, but quite the opposite, it obviously makes him feel warm and fuzzy and comfortable! Let the kid be a kid! Good luck.
-signed a mom of 2 blankie lovers too!

I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys. They are 13, 11, and 9.5 All three of my boys had (has) a favorite something My oldest son's was a blankie. The middle has a teddi, and the yougest has a dog. They all three had them since they were born. The blankie...is not a blankie anymore. LOL It is just a raggedy pile of yarn. The teddi is amazingly still intact, but does look ancient. And the dog, still intact, looks terrible. Occasionally, (not that often) I will see one of their "security items" here and there in the house. Like where they were watching TV or eating. I just smile and keep going. LOL They dont take them anywhere, and they would probably die if they knew their friends knew about it. But, you know what? they are de-stressing and comforting them selves in a healthy way. People who are over stressed and those who take Yoga, they crave this sense of calm. Some day, when they get older, they will be familiar with this type of self calming and de-stressing, and will be all the healthier for it. Your husband could actually learn alot from it.

Hi J.-
First of all, relax. The more excited you get about this, the more you beg him to stop or make a big deal out of it, the more he will dig in his heels and hang on to it. My recommendation is to establish rules of when he can use his blanket and when he can't. My 5-year-old son still sleeps with a blanket, but he has known since he was about 2 that his blanket (named Fringy) is only for sleeping. It has to stay in his room, in his bed. Just limiting the time your son has access to his blanket should help dramatically. I don't think there is any reason to deny him the blanket completely-- it isn't hurting anything if he is using it as a comfort item to sleep. It means he's sleeping and not waking up and bothering you, right? Good luck.

Hi J., I am a 35 year old mother of 4 with a 5th on the way any time now. My oldest son is 10. He still has his blankies. Although he only sleeps with them and he would DIE if his friends knew he had them, I feel there is nothing wrong with this. It is not hurting him in anyway and it makes him comfortable to have them. Instead of taking your sons blankies away completely, I would suggest limiting him to where he is allowed to take them. Maybe they have to stay at home instead of taking them in the car or start off even smaller and let him know they have to stay in the car when you go some place. One thing I have learned over the last 10 years of mommy hood is: Don't sweat the small stuff. Pick your battles. And at 3 1/2 this is not a battle that should be fought. Believe me, when he goes to kindergarten he will not take those blankies, kids will not have pacifiers, they will all be talking, and they will all be able to go potty by themselves and it will not matter who did it first and at what age it was done! My point is that they all do everything on their own time. Don't be in a hurry to grow them up. It happens fast enough all by its self.

My son had a favorite blanket too that just had to go everywhere with us until he got about 4 and then he only wanted it at home and mostly when he slept or was upset. He just turned 7 yesterday and I am pleased to say that over the past 6 months or so he no longer wants it at all. I even asked him a few times and he said no that he didn't need it anymore! So don't worry I really don't think he will be dragging it to kindergarten with him...he will choose when he is ready to let go!

hes happy, its not hurting anyone to let him keep his blanket its not like hes 3 and still breast feeding or sucking a bottle. tell hubby to get over it!

No worries about the blanky, he won't have it forever. Don't sweat it. You guys put way too much pressure on yourself as moms. Just enjoy it, love them and relax, it's not all a crisis. Who cares if he carries a blanky. Have you seen an adult with one walking around? No because eventually they just put them down, i have 4 kids and not one of them still has a blanky, i saved them though and they mean way more to me than to them. Hmm! Isn't that interesting.

What about trying to limit it to just his bed only. We are starting this method (daughter is almost 4)...
Also, when she was 3, she gave up her binkie, which WE stressed about for a year, and when it was time to buy a bike with her binkie, she never asked for it again, and her teeth were normal within 3 months.

J.-
He's only 3 1/2. It is a source of security for him. Tell Ryan he has to give it up EVERY laundry day for 2 hours or so to be washed, but I would not take that away from him. How long ago did you move into your new home? If it was very recent, then you really should not take it away. A new home is stressful for a child. Take small steps. Work on getting him to not chew on it first. Tell him blankie will have to go in time out if he chews on it. Not him, blankie - you'd be amazed at how well it works to "punish" the cherished object! My son carried his blankie everywhere until he was 4 then, at preK he had to leave it in his cubby until naptime and he gradually started leaving it behind other times voluntarily. He is now almost 12 and although he still has that blankie, it's in a drawer in his room as a momento of his infant and toddler years.
Good luck and God bless!
J.

Everytime you wash it, cut off part of it. Eventually, it will be next to nothing and maybe he will give it up. Try to replace it with a truck/car that he can take with him. Good luck.

J., please do not take his blankie away, your only a baby or small child for such a short time. He will give it up when he is ready. I have raised three children, and never took their bottles, blankets, binkies or any other harmless thing away. The are all wonderful adults, all three have served in the military, the oldest is a father of 7, many adopted, that have special things (pillows, blankets, sippy cups), if it help them to feel secure, who cares, it doesn't hurt anyone. Someday he will laugh about his blankie. Just love him, and enjoy this time, tell dad (my husband is a retired police officer), that he can teach him to man up when he's older, right now he's your baby boy, its still your time. lol Kris

Let the boy have his blankie. He'll outgrow it on his own. My grandson had a cabbage patch doll named Jimmy that I gave him when his sister was born. He slept with Jimmy until he was in junior high. He even took Jimmy with him to sleep overs up into grade school. He didn't care if they tried to tease him. He was all boy, playing baseball, football and soccer. When he became interested in girls, the doll lost some appeal. :) He is 19 years old, very much a man, going into the service. He has left Jimmy at home but still has him. Why be in such a hurry to have kids grow up. Let them have their own pieces of property and security. Ryan's blanket is his blanket in a house where very few things are his. It is something he can hold onto and feel safe with.
I would stand up to my husband on this issue. Enjoy every precious moment and stage of his life because these babies grow up all too fast.
Also, I have made blankets for each of my grandchildren. They love them and take them to sleep overs etc. I make them out of fleece and put blanket binding around them. They can use them on their beds or have them to cover up with laying on the floor watching TV etc. ....and I also made one for each of my children and their spouses. All love them. We never outgrow our need for a soft blanket. My valentines present this year from my youngest daughter was a red throw with hearts on it that I put over the edge of my couch and use in the evenings and think of her... many miles away.

My daughter is 23 months old and has a blankie, also. My husband has already started making comments about having to take it away from her, but I just ignore him. The good thing about my dd is that she has a favorite blanket, but she will settle for any blanket that is made out of the same material. I usually try and keep her favorite at home and take another with us in the car. I do have a routine with her where I make her kiss her blankie goodbye when we get out of the car. So far, this seems to work pretty well for us.

Hi J.,

Your question sure takes me back 20+ years. My son also had a blankie and had it for so long that I promised that I would tuck what was left of it in his tux pocket the day of his wedding! I was kidding of course but I still have what is left of that blanket in a baggie. I had to wash it in a zippered mesh bag for years. While it was being washed we had a "substitute blanket". My son also had an imaginary friend named Dingo. These were just phases that he went through and trust me when I say he made it through just fine. The less of a fuss made over the blanket the less stress is created. Let go of it and it will fade away. Then you and your husband will long for his baby days as they pass all too quickly. Cherish each moment of every day. Best wishes to you.

J.,

Okay, so here are my thoughts. My 9 year old still loves his blankie, so take it with a grain of salt, if you'd like... When Asher (my 9 y.o.) was about your son's age, he was doing the same thing - the blanket went EVERYWHERE. It drove us all nuts. If the blanket accidentally got left somewhere when we traveled, I was paying FedEx to have it shipped back. He chewed it, which at the time, I had no idea that meant he had some sensory integration issues.

What we finally had to do is set up 'rules' for the blanket. The blanket could go to Grandma's or in the car, but could not leave the car to go into the store... A few months down the road, we took the car away... He could not take the blankie into the car - except to go to Grandma's house. Then we said a few months later - it can only go to Grandma's if you are having a sleep over. At home, the blankie can be anywhere except the kitchen and the bathroom. So, he can snuggle with it at night when he's in bed and he can snuggle with it in the living room.

His blankie has begun falling apart... It's in shreds, literally. We host a board games night at our house and a few months ago another child was playing with the blanket. Uh-oh, complete melt down. So, we've set up a safe place for the blanket when he doesn't want to share it.

It may seem like we're enabling a bad habit, but he no longer needs to take it places and he no longer misses it when we travel. He also usually only has it in the mornings when he wakes up (and before breakfast) and the evenings (when he goes to bed).

Keep in mind also that my son has Asperger Syndrome (a type of autism) and thrives on routine and familiarity. Most kids grow out of their comfort item by the time they reach school age. For my son, I don't see it as a big deal as long as the blankie doesn't interfere with our daily lives. Setting up rules allowed us to alleviate the interference it cause when he was little.

Steph S. - Mom to Asher (9), Evie (5), Isaac (2) and Oz (Due in May)

Hello! Well just wanted to tell you it will get better with the blanket. Both my boys are blankie babies and they eventually stop bringing it everywhere,they still love there blankets but they got a lot better with them as they got older. Matter of fact they kinda both copied after me because that was my think as a child also. I think its just a security thing. Good Luck

~L. B

What nonsense to make him give it up. My daughter took her blankie to college and graduated just fine. It's still around as a loving memory of a darling little girl who grew into a beautiful young woman - stable and confident. My son (a computer science grad) took his blankie to college and it sits on his bed today. He is a wonderful, loving, sensitive man that most people find easy to love. I see the blankie's and remember how many days and nights were made easier for their presence.

Hi J.! I can't remember where I read about this, but I filed the idea away for later, because it seemed so good! A woman had a similar problem w/ her 3-yr-old son, who refused to part with his pacifier. She told her son that he was such a big boy, he didn't need his passy anymore, so they should send it to a baby who really needed one. She had her son help her package up the passy & made a big show of addressing it to "new baby" & taking it to the post office to mail it away. Later the boy got a postcard from the "baby", thanking him for the passy. He took the loss well, reportedly. I thought I might have to use this tactic one day, since my 11-month-old is quite attached to both passy & blanket! Good luck!

I wouldn't force it. It could cause him a lot of stress. He'll grow out of it at his own pace. My son (now almost 5) had a pacifier until he was a little over 4. One day, he told me he was ready to throw them away (to my complete shock) and we did. We had gently prodded him (for over a year) by telling him that "big boys don't use pacies" and eventually he felt he was ready to take the leap. But don't force it - it will only lead to other problems.

My daughter is almost 3 1/2 and I haven't even thought about taking her blankey or binkey (kind of like a lovey type bunny).

She doesn't take it everywhere, but she does have to have it to go to sleep. She does try to take it some places, but after a few panic moments, we don't take it inside anywhere anymore (except daycare for her naps on some days - if she remembers it).

My hubby and I have set several rules prior to having children or prior to them reaching certain stages and once we actually experienced the issues relating to these rules, the rules were broken or changed. It may be too soon. If you do try to take it away and your husband sees the effects on your son, he may change his mind. Or, your son may decide that he doesn't need it anymore and may find something else to become attached to. I think that kids tend to attach themselves to things that belong to them becuase the items are familiar and help them to deal with stressful situations. They are not yet equipped with all of the mechanisms to deal with stressors and security items help alleviate that stress.

Good Luck!

Well, my 6 year old son has an elephant that still sleeps with him at night, so could it be that it's less of a "get rid of it" and more of a need to wean it away?

What's worked for similar habits with lots of my friends is to talk about how when they turn 4, they will be a big boy. And, then figure out with your son a place to tuck in the blankie in the morning or something. Let him know that when he turns 4 "this is the place for blankie until night". Talk often about how exciting it will for blankie to have it's own cozy place and what a big boy he'll be taking good care of blankie. Then, on his birthday, make a big deal of how cozy blankie looks and how proud you are of him for taking care of it.

Then, hope it works :) I think the key is really the fact that you're giving a date a long way into the future and talking and talking about it until then so he gets comfortable wtih the idea. And, not making him go "cold turkey" too will probably be part of it.

Good luck!

I am not an expert, just a grandmother. Don't we all have things that calm us. Our coffee,food, cigarettes, any number of things adults use for comfort. If it were me, I'd let him keep it. Hi will give it up when he's ready to. You could point out when you see another child of the same age, that they don't use their blankie any more. You could substitute a face cloth size of material of the same texture and pattern as the blankie to ween him from it. Eventually peer preasure will ween your son from his blankie. Start by giving your son the smaller piece of material and keep the blankie at home. As long as he feels the blankie is still their, he will eventually get used to the idea. Then you will be able to pack away his blankie to show him when he's all grown up.
Good luck to you.

if it bothers you so much, then it is time. he is not the decision maker, you and your husband are. just from the been there attitude!

my son was that age when we finally gave up the binkie. i told him that the binkie fairy (use the blankie fairy) needed his bink because the new babies needed it, but he should check next to his bed in the morning for a cool surprise. we left him a new tonka truck and game. he only asked for it a couple times after and i reminded him that about the binkie fairy. (keep his blankie in a memory box where he cannot see it for a long long time!)

be firm! remind him how big he is and how cool his new toy is! if you coddle him or give it back it will only be harder.

wishing you luck!
E.

J.,
What if you tried cutting off a corner or the "blankie" and let him keep it in his pocket. this way he would still feel like he had it and hubby would feel better about it as well!

T.

www.livetotalwellness.com/T.
www.workathomeunited.com/T.

Seeing as your husband is the one that wants to get rid of it, he has to be the one to tell your son to give it up. And he has to be the one to figure out a way to get him to give up that attachment. I hope he realizes how difficult this will be, for ALL of you! Your son has a "lovey" and those are the most difficult things for a child to give up. You shouldn't really expect him to give the lovey up until he starts kindergarten. And even then he probably will have a very difficult time leaving it behind. My suggestion is to find another "lovey" for him to get attached to, but this is very difficult, especially since he's already grown very attached to his blankie. I'd start out slow at first, tell him the blankie has to stay in his bed while he's awake and he can have it at night. Don't let him carry it around, especially when you go out. Start a reward system; give him a cheap toy or a sticker every day his blankie stays in the bed. Eventually, he'll need his blankie less and less. Hopefully you won't have to do what i had to do with my son and his pacifier. I eventually had to just take them all away and it was HORRIBLE; he cried himself to sleep for 2 nites, then he realized that he was too old for pacies and did fine from then on. But it was very difficult those first two nites. I hope you can all agree on one easy way for this de-tachment and it all goes well. Good luck!

I, too, have boys that love their blankies. I have decided not to force the issue with them. Instead we have a very strict rule.....Blankies are ONLY for nap and bedtime and do not leave your room.
No more tantrums. No more lost blankies. No more nasty blankies.
Good Luck!

Hi J...So are you feeling the pressure from your husband that the blanket should be taken away? What is wrong with him having the blanket, if that is what his need is? If it is something that is making him feel secure then why change that. Can you ask your husband what is it about him having this need that is bothering him so much to the drastic point of taking it away. Was there a time that he can remember in his life that he needed something so badly and someone taking it away from him? Does he think that if that was done to him that he should do the same to his child? I think our children do certain things that trigger us and we can take that opportunity to heal our past. To me personally, if I have a need i wouldn't want someone telling me that I can't have it, or take it away from me with out it being consensual. Your son isn't going to need this blanket forever. Let him have it and let him meet his need until he doesn't need it anymore. He will be a more secure and happier child for it. And you and your husband can create a space for him to feel what ever he needs to feel. He will be a better man. I think in our society men are not allowed to feel the feelings they have, they are raised to stuff them away. As parents we can change that. When they are children.

Wow this sounds like a question I would ask! My son, who is also 3 1/2, is addicted to his taggie blanket. He too chews on it and has it EVERYWHERE he goes. I think it's a stage/age thing and he'll grow out of wanting to have it nearby all the time. It's a comfort thing too. I wouldn't worry about it just yet. (I also have PCOS too. I swear reading your entry was like reading my own brain!)

I never had that problem with any of my 3 girls, however I had a friend who did. What she finally did was when her daughter fell asleep she took the blanket and got rid of it. Then when her daughter woke up and wanted the blanket - they went on a search for it. Since it couldn't be found anywhere she couldn't have it. It took a lot of persevering on the part of the Mom. It wasn't like "oh well it's gone, so that is that". But it really didn't take as long as the Mom thought that it would. She found a lot of times it was her who gave it to her daughter because it made certain situations easier.

When my daughter was about your sons age, she too had a lot anxiety about giving up HER Blankie. With some advice from a good friend, we decided each time the blankie was laundered, it would shrink. It shrank so much there was not much left after a couple of months. She gave it up a little at a time. Our problem was... when she was bout 12 years old, a family member gave her a blanket for her bed, a full size bed, well guess what, it was made of the same material and the same color as her BLANKIE! OH my, how funny, and how sad, my twelve year old daughter, took it with her everywhere she went and into her marriage. SO do they ever really give it up, she didn't. IT was after her second child was born that she finally threw the ragged piece of blankie in the trash. You just never know. Sometimes just making a clean break is the best way to go. Love the movie "Mr Mom" and the part about his little boy's whoopie (blankie). If you get a chance, watch it. Don't know this will be much help but maybe you can get a good laugh out of it.

Good Luck!
K.

Well, my 4 kids were never allowed to take blankie out in public for this reason, but left them at home to sleep. My 7 year old still has his blankie, he just uses it at night or tv time or when he is sick or sad, that's ok, just not out. You need to just take it from him and say you are a big boy now and big boys don't take blankies, but he will be here for you when you get home. The first couple of times it will be rough but it will eventually get better.

NO NOT MAKE HIM, Be patient, he will give it up in time. One of my sons had his also. He slowly gave up over time, even when he was as old as 10-12 he slept with it on his pillow. But of course he did not take it to school. Your son will wean himself off the blanket in his own time. Somethims we parents are anxious for our babies to grow up but believe me. I would give my right arm to have some of those moments back. Daddy can also take heart that this is not a "sissy" thing. He will grow up to be a man if you do manly things with him. My son is 32 now and still have fond memories of his blanket. (Which I stll have.)

Dear J.,
Just one old Mom's opinion - but here goes.. enjoy every moment with your miracle and don't worry about the blanket... My children are now 29, 26 and 20 and not one of them still has their "blankie." Sometimes I would "give my eye teeth" if that were still their obsession....If well meaning (or not) friends and or relatives offer criticism or advice or whatever, just smile and say, "Thank you so much - what a wonderful idea!" and then go do exactly what feels right to you..
Most of all, have fun..
Kat

All of us have our security issues. There is no reason for your son to give up his blankie. You can restrict it so that he can only have it at bedtime and when watching TV, but not around town. If your husband insits that the blankie has to go, make your husband give up one of his favorite things at the same time and see how he likes it.

Hi J.,

My son, who will be 3 1/2 in two weeks, is also very attached to not one, but 2 blankies. He chews on them, too. He will do things w/o them and forget them for a while, but he needs them to sleep and when he's just relaxing. He has to take them to preschool with him. I would never let my daughter take hers, but I have softened with the second child. My daughter still has her blankie, too. She has to have it to sleep. I think you have the right attitude in not being too concerned about it, but how to convince your husband is another issue. As I said, my daughter (who will be 8 in two weeks) still has hers, but the peer pressure has worked and she would rather her friends not know she had one. Pretty much she only has it for t.v. watching and sleeping. As far as I'm concerned, she can sleep with it until she's grown. I'm not going to do something so traumatic (to her and me) as take it away and listen to her cry for it. It's not worth it. He will shed his blanket as he grows up and realizes that it is babyish. I would say if your son realizes it's a difference of opinion btw you and your husband, he'll resisit giving it up even more. Does your son respond well to rewards - could he work up to having it less if it meant a fun outing as a family? I think the brain of a 3 1/2 yr. old boy is going through lots of changes that can be scary to him, so the blankie is a source of comfort. Good Luck! There will come a day when you all will look back on the blankie days fondly.

Do you have any friends with younger children or a new baby on the way? One thing that might help is asking your son that a new baby needs his blankie. He might find it easier to give it up if he's giving it to someone else.

LOL J., I am the mother of a 32 year old daughter who STILL carries her blankie. She sleeps with it at night in her pillow case. I have never seen any negative pychological behaviours from it. She is a bright, wonderful young woman....so, unless you see some truly negative attitudes from this behaviour I would say leave him alone with his blankie. He will either leave it behind by himself or he won't as he grows older. And as he grows older and more mature he will find a way to keep that blankie a separate part of his life, all other things being equal. Don't push it. Your son is only 3 1/2. Give him time. This is not a battle worth fighting. {{{hugs}}}

My children never had a blankie but my sister did and when it was time to break her of it my mother would cut 1 inch all the way around it once every wek or two until it was gone. She would tell my sister different reasons why, like its too big, gets in the way, gets dirty too fst,etc. I hope your husband will be patient while this process is taking place.