43 answers

Boys in Women's Locker Room

First, I have no problem with really little ones because they don't notice and comment on differences. But seriously, yesterday at the pool some lady had her son who looked to be at least 6 in the ladies changing room!

What really bothered me is that this facility has 3 changing rooms - ladies, mens and FAMILY! And gee, guess who the family is for??? Folks taking thier opposite gender kids swimming so they can get them changed, go to the bath room etc.

I did not say anthing to the Mom, but I probably did not need to becuase my 4 year old asked me rather loudly why there was a boy in the room. Shortly after that, they left. I did say something quick to management, suggested they put up a sign as a reminder.

So - what age do you think kids should stop using the locker room of the opposite gender? Would that age change if there was a family locker room available? And would you have said something to the Mom, Management, or both?

Just curious, but since it is not the first time it has happened, and probably won't be the last I was wondering how you folks dealt with it?

Thanks for your thoughts!!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wow! I never expected this much of a response, never mind the follow up questions out there!

In this case the family changing room is comparable in size and actually offers more privacy than the ladies changing room. It is also almost always empty!

Also, I was actually being charitable when I said he was at least 6, he actually looked closer to 8 and was looking around everywhere.

I saw in these responses a lot about nudity and sex and modesty. I personnaly do not equate nudity with sex, if one conditon led to the other then there would be a lot more people in the world! What I am is modest, am not comfortable with anyone(other than hubby) seeing me nude. Even at 4 my daughter has learned to respect everyones privacy, and does not walk in on Mommy.

Kudos to the mom's who due to circumstance have to bring thier boys in and have them avert thier eyes or face the wall. That is making the best of a difficult situation and a wonderful solution!

Finally, this is a private pool where I have to pay for membership (more than worth it!) and there is the expectation that the rules will be followed / enforced.

Anyway thanks for the input, especially since my second child is going to be a boy....

Thanks all!

Featured Answers

My son will be 6 in September, probably looks over that now, since his cousin is 8 and they look the same age to me and others. I bring him in the restroom with me, sometimes the family room is not available, he has to go to the bathroom. I personally wouldn't be offended if I saw a 6 year old or even a little older than that boy in the women's bathroom while I was changing. (most likely, I wouldn't be changing, do that when I get home) My older son, now 15, I had a hard time letting him go into the men's bathroom when he was younger. I waited right outside when he finally was like mom, I'm going to the boys room. There are a LOT of perverted men in the world, just look at the news, how many women are there vs men. My BIL used to be a truck driver, and he said NEVER let a boy go to the bathroom by himself at a truck stop, there is usually two ways to get out of the room, just not safe.

I don't know if you have a son, but if you don't, I do understand where you are coming from. Once you have a son, it's a whole other ball game. My daughter was my first, never was a thought, until my son came along. It's great when daddy or grandpa is around, but when it's just mommy and kiddos, safety is number 1!

9 moms found this helpful

My son is 7 and I took him in the women's room at a water park. Lucky for me he is rather small, so nobody would probably report me to the bathroom police. I'm sorry I'm being snarky here, but the poor woman was trying to take her kid swimming and be safe. There's no way I'd send my son in a locker room alone. There is usually more than 1 door to get in and out of and I don't feel comfortable about it at all. I'm more concerned about keeping him safe than offending anyone.

This is just another example of jumping to conclusions w/out knowing the whole story. It could be a tall child who was in fact young enough. Maybe he has a disability and needed to be there. Not every disability is visible to the naked eye. There is so much you don't know about the situation and as I said I will take my son anywhere with me if I think it is the safer option.

9 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't worry about a 6 yr old, personally. And some kids are huge and younger than you think. The other day we met a girl at the pool that I would have sworn was 5. She was THREE. I was floored.

So...1. it's hard to judge ages of kids and 2. you did what I'd suggest you'd do and that's talk to management. If you are really concerned, have a longer talk with management or write them a letter/email. Maybe they need more family space than they expected.

7 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Our city facility has a large family locker room, and no children of the opposite sex are allowed in the single-sex locker rooms. There's plenty of signage, and it's enforced. I will admit to having bent the rules and taken my baby boy in the ladies' a couple of times, but that was just to nurse and I don't think anyone minded.

I do recall when I was hugely pregnant last summer, I took a shower in the ladies' locker room and wrapped my towel around the only part of my body it fit on- my hair. On my way to the dressing room, I think I scared most of the girls' swim team into remaining celibate for many years.

14 moms found this helpful

What do you think a 6 year old is going to do? Check on the hot chicks changing? Take a video and post it on the internet? Post pictures on his blog? I mean, really...come one. SIX.

Perhaps, the mother has taught the child you do NOT look at other people changing. Imagine, a parent teaching decency. GASP!

14 moms found this helpful

Our pool has a family locker room, and children of the opposite gender over the age of 5 are expected to use it.

However, if there was not a family locker room, I'd definitely bring my 6 yr old boy into the ladies one. There is NO WAY IN HELL I'd allow my 6 yr old to walk into a men's locker room alone. No way! I don't even know If I'll let him when he's 10. There are just too many creeps nowadays. I think the very youngest I would allow him to do it would be 12.

12 moms found this helpful

I have a six year old taking swim lessons at our city pool. There is a women's restroom and a men's restroom - no family restroom (the place was probably built before such a thing existed). I take my son with me into the women's restroom - there is no way that I would send him in there alone. For one thing, he has trouble getting a wet bathing suit off by himself! The locker room area has stalls and we usually take the handicapped one because I also have an 18 month old (boy) - and we can't all fit in the regular ones. Would I take a family locker room if it existed? Yes - but it doesn't!

In a year or two, he will probably be able to handle the men's locker room but for now, he has to come with Mama and Baby Brother. IF you don't like it, too bad. I won't sacrafice my child's safety for your comfort.

C.

12 moms found this helpful

1) To me... ANY child's saftey trumps my modesty. Period.

1.5) I dont care what the rules state, any mom is welcome to bring her son in where Im at.

2) in our area it's 6 & Under in most placed

3) Many kids LOOK older than they are. My son was regularly mistaken for 7 or 8 when he was 4. By all kinds of people, all the time. I've had people tell me the age limit was SIX with a glare, and snorting in disbelief when I said, well that's good... Means we have 3 more years, since he just turned 4. I had to start bring his passport to ball places, etc. short kids can look 2-3 years younger, and tall ones 2-3 years older EASY.

An option, though, is the bright smile and "Oh, hey! Did you know they have family changing rooms at this pool?"

10 moms found this helpful

My son is 7 and I took him in the women's room at a water park. Lucky for me he is rather small, so nobody would probably report me to the bathroom police. I'm sorry I'm being snarky here, but the poor woman was trying to take her kid swimming and be safe. There's no way I'd send my son in a locker room alone. There is usually more than 1 door to get in and out of and I don't feel comfortable about it at all. I'm more concerned about keeping him safe than offending anyone.

This is just another example of jumping to conclusions w/out knowing the whole story. It could be a tall child who was in fact young enough. Maybe he has a disability and needed to be there. Not every disability is visible to the naked eye. There is so much you don't know about the situation and as I said I will take my son anywhere with me if I think it is the safer option.

9 moms found this helpful

My son will be 6 in September, probably looks over that now, since his cousin is 8 and they look the same age to me and others. I bring him in the restroom with me, sometimes the family room is not available, he has to go to the bathroom. I personally wouldn't be offended if I saw a 6 year old or even a little older than that boy in the women's bathroom while I was changing. (most likely, I wouldn't be changing, do that when I get home) My older son, now 15, I had a hard time letting him go into the men's bathroom when he was younger. I waited right outside when he finally was like mom, I'm going to the boys room. There are a LOT of perverted men in the world, just look at the news, how many women are there vs men. My BIL used to be a truck driver, and he said NEVER let a boy go to the bathroom by himself at a truck stop, there is usually two ways to get out of the room, just not safe.

I don't know if you have a son, but if you don't, I do understand where you are coming from. Once you have a son, it's a whole other ball game. My daughter was my first, never was a thought, until my son came along. It's great when daddy or grandpa is around, but when it's just mommy and kiddos, safety is number 1!

9 moms found this helpful

I completely agree with lillym. At 6 my son would not have been able to go alone into a changing room by himself, get dressed, pee, and remember to bring his clothes out. He would prob. be in there an hour, get lost in there, start playing in the sinks and then come out after leaving his stuff all over the floor. At 8 he is now able to do all of this stuff but at 6 there was no way I could send him alone. There were times he just had to come into the women's with us. If someone would have said something to me I would have been pissed.

Our local fun pool has a family room that is just 1 small room with nothing in there. We can use it to change but nothing else. No shower etc...

8 moms found this helpful

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