Turning the Tables - at What Age Are Girls Not Allowed in Mens Restroom?

My daughter is only 14 months now but...when we get there..if she's got to go and with only my husband than the men's room it is until she's much older. I have 2 boys and my husband will often have me take them if they have to poop because men's rooms can be downright foul. It's not my first choice for my daughter to use the mens room for that reason but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. As for a certain age...I have a family member that was raped at 12 in a men's room so I personally am not comfortable with younger than that at all. A bit older than that at least. Safety before "modesty".

My daughter is now 4. My husband has always loved to take her out to movies, work, shopping or anywhere else he needs to go. He used to take her into the restroom with him, but at about age 4, I found out he started standing outside the women's restroom with her and another mom will usually rescue him. So far no problems. If there is a family restroom, he opts for that. It is a tuffy!

I feel the need to comment. My husband is a wonderful SAHD. He is often out with our two daughters and takes them to the men's room. This happens a lot and I feel more comfortable with them going into the men's room than going into a women's room alone (they are 2 & 4). My kids aren't staring at the urinals or watching men urinate, they are simply walking wiith my husband to the nearest stall to do what they need to do under his care and protection. I feel a lot of the comments below aren't realistic if the Dad is the primary care giver. Just my 2 cents.

I am with the others that are cautious about possible predators. They come in all shapes, sizes, ages, and - yes - sexes!

I have a son, but if I had a daughter and she was with my husband I would be LIVID if I heard she went by herself in the restroom before she was mature enough to handle it both physically and mentally. She must be able to defend herself to a degree (martial arts?), be able to constantly be aware of her surroundings, and he would have to stay right outside listening to her sing the whole time to be sure she was still okay! I would rather be paranoid and keep my kiddos safe than be relaxed and have them be taken advantage of in any way.

I found very interesting in how things are different between girls and boys.
I saw a mom saying that she let her son go into the men's bathroom but she opens the door, no that she can see but if she need it to see, BUT if a guy would need to send his daughter alone to the women's bathroom and open the door to check everything was ok he would be in so much trouble.
Then I hear moms bringing boys until they are 9 or 10 to the women bathroom because all the predators, but a girls are let go alone to the women bathroom as much earlier age. But women can also be sexual predators.
Unfortunate, as unfair as it sounds, I can't help myself to feel the same way.
I really hope is never a need for my daughter to go to a men's room but if there were a need, I think it will be until my daughter is old enough to use the potty and clean her self well.
PS: After reading Michelle post, I think I better buy a portable toilet, I can't believe men can be so careless. I have never had a problem with my husband in that aspect, I think I must thank my MIL for it, and if I ever have a boy I will return the favor to the society and teach him to keep it clean.

This is going to sound bad. But at no time do I think its ok for a little girl to go into the mens room ever. If its a one toilet bathroom and daddy can go aslo, then fine. My son is 11 and I will stand outside the mens room and yell in to make sure he is ok. I have even blocked other men from going in until he was done. I not very popular when I do that. Do I care.......NO.

I was one of the moms that responded that I do not think little girls should be able to go into the men's room. I guess I feel that the ladies room is a little bit divided and at least not much exposure. My husband and son both describe most Men's room as very smelly and not very clean. My husband feels the men's room is ok for my son because he can stand and use a urinal, but tells me how discusting the stalls (if any at all are usually 1 or 2 in number). Many times he says there are not even doors on the stalls. He says he has found the toliets are usually horrible regardless if we are in the lobby of a 5-star hotel or McDonalds. He even brought up to me; "Just think about it; think of what guys are doing in there if they are using stalls." He goes on to tell me how it is very common for men to finish zipping and "shaking" once they have left the urinal and turn around. So again exposing a certain body part that then would be at eye level to a little kid. ;( He also tells me that he bets 4:5 guys leave out without washing hands, so can you imagine how dirty it is. He also brought up that many men's rooms have troffs where all of the guys stand next to each other and urinate into a big bowl with water running underneath them. So all "taking a leak out in the open together next to each other." Guess it is an elimination party... LOL.... I guess it is part of going to see the Vikings and the bathroom experience... So I guess I just would not want my daughter exposed to that..... I do feel that the chances of a lady trying to stalk the child in the ladies room is soooo low... If a lady was going to try to get a little girl, she would hit the park. Did you know that safety experts even tell you to teach your children if they are in trouble out in the public to find a "Mommy" because she will help you? That is because the women, especially moms are so low of a chance of anything happening harming your child... My husband tells me that Men's room sometimes scare him.... I guess that is why one of our political diplomats got in trouble here for doing some finger jive under the bathroom stall in the airport... (Made national news). Something you just do not hear about in the ladies room...
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Ok, in regards to your follow-up to my post. You asked and asked about those of us that had a bias view. I gave you my reasoning behind my comments in the other thread. So you asked, I gave you my opinion. I was not referencing your husband or his choice of actions. So I answered your question that was suggestive of my post on the other thread; was not trying to give you advice, just explaining my rationale.

My daughter has been going to the ladies room by herself since she was 6.
My son uses the mens room by himself now at 5.

My husband says over the age of 5.

I think it depends on the man...meaning the husband. Personally, I think a girl, in a mens "stall" is ok til they can pull down pants, wipe and pull up pants.....MY husband on the other hand, says that she will NEVER see the inside of a mens room. PERIOD, END OF DISCUSSION!!!
Oh, Lordy, Daddy's these days!!!! I have asked him, "what happens when she has to go?" He says, "we will cross that bridge when we get to it".....oh, that poor man.....sheesh!!!

For us it was age 4. Same as my son.

Hi C.,

The problem is more difficult here because there are so many men's rooms that have urinals and not simply stalls. There is a lot more exposure, excuse the pun, and when she is able to put two and two together she shouldn't be allowed in there. That being said, I also agree with the Mom that said women can be sexual predators too. It doesn't happen as often but it only takes once to change a life. If he allows her to go to the ladies bathroom by herself, he should stay right outside the door within earshot. Make sure she knows to scream if she EVER feels uncomfortable alone. Screaming runs almost everyone off.

God bless,

M.

i dont even know what to say, i have two daughters and would never let them go in a guys bathroom, i know this isnt realistic, but its always been an issue with me.

When she's old enough to get into the stall, wipe, flush, get out of the stall, wash, dry her hands and come out...by herself.

My husband doesn't like to take our girls (ages 5 and 8) into the bathroom with him - he says mostly because A) Men's restrooms are typically dirtier than women's restrooms and B) Because he doesn't feel like they need to see strange men standing at a urinal. If it were someplace like a movie theater or sports stadium where the restrooms are gigantic, then he would take them in with him just because it's not safe to have them go alone into a big restroom with multiple exits, but someplace like the grocery store or Target, they can go by themselves, I think.

My daughter is 4 1/2 and I don't yet trust her to go into a public restroom by herself and do what she's there to do!! I think when she's old enough for me to know that she is going to go in, use the restroom, & wash her hands quickly, then I think it would be ok for her to go in by herself. I would definitely have Dad standing right outside the door though, where he could yell in and check on her if he needed to.

I think as soon as your daughter can be trusted to "take care of business" and come right out by herself. Sometimes now my daughter at age 5 goes in alone, because I want to show her that I can trust her. Of course, that's when it's not too crowded.

For me the issue isn't so much going into the ladies room by herself, but avoiding going into the men's room (not because guys are perverts, but ew, urinals).

Hope this helps.

I think that this is another one of those "whenever you are comfortable with it" questions. My husband is in agreement with Catherine C.'s husband. There have been many a time when we are out as a family & my husband has taken the kids, only to come back with our daughter asking me to take her. He tells me that the men's room is filthy & he didn't want her sitting down. He's never mentioned that fact that there could be other men in there. My son is 7 & he has been going by himself for a couple of years now. He even gets mad at me if I ask him to come with me for some reason.

my daughter is three. If there's someone in there using the urinal, he waits, but at places like Walmart they usually have the bathroom to themselves.

I find this question far more pertinent. I mean, women's restrooms are all stalls - not really a big deal, but men's restrooms have urinals, which would make this awkward for everyone in the restroom once the girl is over a certain age - what age?

My daughter just turned 7 and i have been letting her use the women's room alone for about the past 1/2 year, but before that, if she had to poop she could be in there awhile and that's along time to be left alone. Just interested to see the answers.